“No, that’s dumb.” Sunset grumbled, furiously erasing the pencil marks in the margin of her notebook. She drummed her fingers against her desk and chewed on the pad of her thumb for a moment before scratching at her hair with the eraser-end of her pencil.
“Okay… the total number of events is…” she pinched her brows, “one.” Sunset blinked down at her paper, trying her best to ignore the faint remnants of previously failed calculations. “And it’s a one in two chance of success… so it’s 50%...” She groaned, “that’s not a high enough success rate.”
“What was that, Miss Shimmer? Something to say?” Doctor Zecora peeked over her shoulder before stepping away from the whiteboard at the front of the class, “it’s so lovely seeing everyone so engaged today.”
Sunset sat rigid in her chair, eyes scanning the board for any indication of what was going on. “Uuuh,” she swallowed thickly, “nothing, Doctor. I was just saying that I think your teaching methods are great!” She flashed a nervous smile, praying to whatever God above that the warmth in her face wasn’t bathing her skin, red.
The older woman returned her smile and shot her a wink before returning her attention to the board. “Thank you Miss Shimmer, that is very kind; but do try to take control of your wandering mind.”
She scratched the back of her head and gave a small thumbs up, shrinking back into her seat as she felt a room full of stares settle on her, igniting her blush with more gusto. She hadn’t meant to, but her eyes instinctively glanced toward the desk in the centre of the room, where her true subject of study had been this period.
Starlight Glimmer grinned as their eyes met, and Sunset could tell she was chuckling.
Fuck.
An indignant squeak forced itself from her throat as she scrambled to pick up her pencil again, shielding her eyes with one hand as she rested her elbow on the table. She could feel how clammy her palms were. Her heated cheeks and neck weren’t making things any more comfortable, either. Has it always been so hot in this room?
It was Monday. 2:32— 33pm. Final class of the day; and Sunset was sweating. She dropped her pencil again to rub her palms together, face contorting with ick at the feeling of slicked skin against slicked skin, before she resolved to wipe the sweat on the fabric of her skirt.
Truthfully, she hadn’t been paying attention for the most part of this two-hour lecture, and there was only 27— 26 minutes left.
No. Instead of dedicating her time listening to every word that her professor was saying; what she had worked so hard throughout her time at high school for; achieved a scholarship for; moved across the country for; she had spent it watching Starlight Glimmer twirl a lock of hair by the side of her face, doodling in her notebook, and trying to calculate the value of x if x = the likelihood that Starlight would agree to go on a date with her.
No, no. Not a date, she shook her head, just an outing to a coffee shop between two, mutual, scientific prodigies.
She pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth and counted to ten in her head, praying to calm the ravaging butterflies in her stomach.
One.
She was only looking this way because Zecora called on me. It makes sense.
Two.
She wasn’t the only one, either. Everyone was staring at me.
Three.
She was laughing though. Did she think I was funny?
Four.
Unless she was laughing at me, she frowned.
Five.
Halfway there Sunset. Just calm down.
Six.
Halfway. Half. 50%.
Seven.
50% chance she likes me.
Eight.
But also 50% chance she doesn’t.
Nine.
Oh for the love of God.
Ten.
Sunset let out a deep breath through barley parted teeth and shifted in her seat, glancing down at her notes once again to try and focus on today’s lesson; even if she had missed the majority of it. It didn’t matter. It was fine. She could still pick up from this. She could recover. She was a genius, after all.
But even if she couldn’t, she could always ask someone to fill her in on what she had missed. Someone she could invite out for coffee as payment. Someone like Sta—
“Starlight Glimmer! It is your time to speak. Will you tell us the answer that we seek?”
Sunset’s eyes shot up from her third doodle of stick figures holding hands, to stare at the other girl as she cleared her throat and shuffled around her notes a bit.
Wait. Her notes? Starlight was taking notes? Sunset blinked, mouth hanging a jar, only really half-listening to the answer Starlight gave. Something about oxidation and enzymatic browning. She felt like her brain was oxidising, because she couldn’t form a coherent thought.
“My, my, that is quite right,” Zecora beamed, marking down Starlight’s answer on the board at the end of the equation. “I’m thrilled that this class is all so bright.”
Sunset dug her nails into her palms and tore her eyes away from the purple-haired teen, not wanting to run the risk of being caught staring. Not like it would have been the first time. She, unfortunately, wasn’t exactly subtle. But she couldn’t help it! Starlight was just so pretty.
Ba-thump.
She clutched the front of her shirt and sat back in her chair, spine pressed against the solid plastic with an uncomfortable shift. She was only thankful that her bench partner had been absent today, lest she have to apologise for being so fidgety. Today was also one of those days when she was grateful that she and Moondancer had decided on different majors. Being caught staring at Starlight was one thing, but she knew her sister wouldn’t let her hear the end of it for spacing out, fantasising about how wonderful it would be to stroke through Starlight’s hair.
She cleared her throat. Glanced at the clock. 15 minutes.
She didn’t have a crush on Starlight or anything. No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. Sunset wasn’t the kind of person who fell in love with someone just because they kissed you; or, tried to kiss you; or, okay, maybe tried to kiss you— in a closet at a party.
No, Sunset wasn’t really the kind to fall in love, at all. It wasn’t scientific. Or, actually, it was. Scientifically speaking, love was a mixture of different chemicals in the brain activating to release hormones throughout the body and thus eliciting reactions that people commonly refer to as butterflies, a pounding heart, lust—
She cleared her throat. 10 minutes.
Maybe that’s all this was. Hormones. When was the last time she’d had her period? Maybe this was all just mood swings, and she could simply explain it away. If X equals love, and the Sunset equals Y, divided by T which is Timber Spruce, then…
Sunset groaned and ran a hand through her bangs, once again furiously erasing her mindless scribblings. She looked up to the clock. 8 minutes.
“Ugh… X is undefined.”
“Correct! You’re on fire today Miss Shimmer.” Doctor Zecora beamed, snapping Sunset from her day dreaming yet again as she finished writing up the final equation on the board.
Sunset pursed her lips and drew her brows together, making sure to keep her eyes front-facing, save she go looking at… anything else.
As the older woman capped her marker and began shuffling the papers on her desk, the restless class began packing away their own things; notebooks into backpacks, water bottles in hands; pencils tucked away into cases, and so on.
Usually, Sunset would have chosen to stay behind after class to go over her notes and ask for advice from her tutor on anything she may have been struggling with. But today, she filed her notebook away swiftly, tucked her pens into the front pouch of her bag, and bounced her leg impatiently as she waited for the class to be dismissed.
“Now remember students, this advice I ask you to heed; if there are any misunderstandings, the online slides I ask that you read. And if there is any panic that one might fail, never be shy to send me an email. Class dismissed.”
She allowed a few of her classmates to leave before she moved to follow suit, sparing a glance over in Starlight’s direction first. The other girl was still packing away her own things and talking to the girl who had been sitting beside her, laughing at something she had said.
Oxytocin made Sunset’s stomach tighten in a knot.
Lips heavy in a pout, Sunset slung her bag over her shoulder and mingled with the exiting crowd, keeping her eyes low as she grumbled under her breath.
It wasn’t like she had wanted to talk to Starlight. In fact, the exact opposite. The idea of attempting to hold a conversation with the other girl made Sunset’s head spin. She really was infuriating, if only for a whole new set of reasons than she had been previously. She was distracting, and cheeky, and endearing. She was annoying beyond reasonable comprehension; and despite Sunset’s expansive vocabulary, she couldn’t find any other words to describe her other than, just… pretty.
She grumbled again, brows furrowing as her cheeks pinked.
She pushed her way through the large, mahogany double doors of the chemistry lab’s main foyer and paced over towards the stairs to leave. She followed the main road that led up towards the campus library and looked past the wall of glass, into the study rooms on the large building’s ground floor. She let out a puff of breath, allowed her shoulders to sag, and went in through the main doors.
It didn’t take long for her to find Moondancer, who was sitting at one of the many computers that made up the centre column of the library’s second floor. The other girl had a stack of books, three discarded cups of coffee, and a half-eaten tuna sandwich.
“Hey. My class finished early so…” Sunset narrowed her eyes at the screen as Moondancer dragged a cut-out picture of her own head onto the body of an 18th century playwright of sorts. “What the hell are you doing? I thought you had an essay due?”
Moondancer giggled, her own eyes narrowly blinking at the collection of tabs on her desktop, all titled with different variants of key smashes and abstract words. “Yeah, I did. I finished it.”
“Riiiiiight…” Sunset gingerly pulled out another computer chair and set her bag on the floor before taking a seat beside her sister, leaning in closer to inspect her documents. “Do I even want to know what ‘Sunset.jpeg’ is?”
Moondancer’s face split in a wide, shit-eating grin before she hovered her cursor over to the tab and opened it to reveal a picture of, well, Sunset. As a sunset.
“Moon… are you, like, okay?”
“I’m so fucking tired Sunset.”
“I can… see that.” She pursed her lips. She huffed and sat back in her chair, swivelling on it a bit as her sister rubbed at her eyes with her knuckles, even taking off her glasses to readjust her gaze. “Do you want to go home and sleep?”
“Mh, I can’t. I’m meeting Sunburst in like, an hour. We need to go over this one book our Professor gave us about—” Moondancer paused to yawn, “gender studies in early Victorian theatre.”
“Well that explains…” Sunset motioned toward the computer, “that, I guess.”
Moondancer hovered her cursor over the ‘x’ in the top corner before saving it first, flashing a smile in Sunset’s direction as the younger girl rolled her eyes playfully.
The older girl took a sip from one of her coffee cups and held it to her lips for a few moments, narrowing her brows with a hum. “Wait. You just got out of Chemistry, yeah? Or was it your calc class?”
“No, it was Chem.” Sunset leaned her elbows on the table and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, blowing another from her face. “I had calculus at noon, though.”
“Yikes. That sucks. I know how hard it is trying to stay awake during my English Lit class with Ms Harshwinny, and that’s an afternoon period.” Moondancer logged her account off of the computer and grabbed her empty cups of coffee before rolling her chair over to the trash can and throwing them away. She rolled back over to the desk and munched on the remains of her sandwich as Sunset helped pack away her sister’s things. “Any news on thah pohec— ack—” Moondancer coughed, beating at her chest with a fist.
“Maybe learn to not speak with your mouthful?” Sunset shook her head and handed the other girl her remaining, near-empty cup. Moondancer gulped it down and wiped the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. She chuckled with a roll of her eyes, lifting Moondancer’s satchel up onto the desk with a loud thud. “How many books do you have in there, anyway?”
“Like six,” the older girl huffed, tossing the last cup into the trash and rising to stand. “To be fair, two of them are for class, three are for my own little side-projects, and the last one’s for personal reading.”
“If you read too much your brain will melt.”
Moondancer fixed her with a look, crossing her arms once she’d slipped her bag over her shoulder. “Coming from the girl who asked for a trigonometry textbook for her tenth birthday?”
“Bite me.”
“Sunset!” She gasped theatrically, pretending to check for eaves-droppers. “We’re sisters…”
Sunset groaned and swatted her on the arm. “Shut up!”
The red-head’s outburst was met with a symphony of “Shhh!” and people clearing their throats with a glare at the two of them. Sunset muttered out quiet apologies and dragged her sister out of the study room, making sure to shield her reddening face behind her hand.
“You’re so annoying. I hate you. You’re a terrible child and you’re killing me. You’re killing your sister, Moondancer. I hope you’re happy.”
Moondancer snorted and gave her sister a playful shove, one which she returned, letting out a breathy laugh of her own.
“Want to stick around? Sunburst and I are gonna grab a bite to eat before studying?”
Sunset hummed, narrowing her eyes at her two options in her head, and stroked her chin. “You know what? Sure. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and I’m starved.”
The older girl beamed. “Awesome!” Moondancer then paused for a moment, looking past Sunset toward something behind her, and her face lit up once more. But there was something behind her eyes. Something… playful. Something… Moondancer.
“Hey Sunburst!” She reached her hand up to wave the boy over and used her other to cup her mouth slightly, as if that would make her voice any louder. Sunset had to scoff.
She glanced over her shoulder in the direction that the other girl was waving to and sure enough, she spotted the tall, orange haired boy from the party the other night. However, Sunset’s blood ran cold. Beside him in all her glory, strode Starlight Glimmer, signature ponytail tied tightly against her head. She laughed and hid her mouth behind her hand, crossing the other over her torso to contain herself. Sunset gagged.
“Actually,” the red-head’s lips tightened into a line as she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head slightly toward the older girl in front of her, “I think I’m gonna have to rain check. I just remembered that Zecora gave us another essay to complete for next week today, so I think I’ll head back to the dorm and get that started instead.”
Moondancer shot her a sceptical raised brow and folded her arms over her chest, leaning all of her weight onto one foot with a frown.
Sunset rubbed at her sister’s arms and gave a half-apologetic frown of her own. “We should get lunch tomorrow though!” She glanced over her shoulder again, this time locking eyes with the purple-haired nightmare who was fast-approaching. “Love you soooo much but I’ll see you when you get home!”
Moondancer opened her mouth to reply, but Sunset was already off, stomping her way down the side-walk in a desperate attempt to look casual; like she wasn’t totally running away from her problems. She didn’t want that running to become literal, and so she did her best to keep a moderate pace. Speed walking. She was speed walking away from her problems. There was a difference.
“You’re a total loser, Sunset!” She heard her sister call after her, but she didn’t dare turn around. She was too scared of what she would see. Starlight, staring after her with a longing gaze; or looking her up and down judgmentally, chuckling behind that oh-so-tender hand of hers.
She slapped both of her cheeks with a groan, keeping her head low. “Man you are a loser, Sunset.”
Sunset Shimmer stretched out her arms, the tension in her shoulder blades popping as she melted into the curve of her mattresses edge. She blinked her strained eyes and rolled her shoulders as best she could, dangling from the side of a bed. Half-focusing on the game console in her hand, she furrowed her brows and belted out the next line of the song that was currently blasting from the CD player on her desk. Today had been intense and she deserved this; she finally had the dorm to herself; it was perfect. She could just lay back, relax, and play some video games in the comfort of her room.
“You are the worst. You know that, right?” Moondancer said, crossing her arms as she leaned against the open door frame.
“Can’t hear you. Listening to music.”
Moondancer pinched her lips and bobbed her head, the way she always did before making another one of her teasing jabs. She furrowed her brows and clicked her tongue. “So, I see that essay is going really well.”
Sunset didn’t reply.
“You must really be on top of your work, actually! Since Starlight didn’t know anything about it,” she smirked. “You? Are a loser.”
Sunset groaned and rolled her eyes. The groan more so due to the strain her current position was putting on her back than anything else. “Listen, I just--” She paused. “I got nervous, okay? How does that make me a loser?”
“Mh, it doesn’t.” She dropped her arms and stepped into the room, “lying about having to write an essay just to get out of talking to someone, though? That makes you a loser, Shim.” Moondancer shook her head and gripped the back of the chair at Sunset’s desk, spinning it on it’s hind legs before plopping herself down. She raised a brow toward her sister before glancing over at the CD player, then back. “Really? Three Days Grace?”
Sunset looked side-ward. “They help me relax.”
“Yeah, I’m sure ‘I hate everything about you’ is real soothing.”
“Whatever,” Sunset grumbled, pausing her game to awkwardly wriggle back up onto her bed properly before rolling over to lie on her stomach. “So…” She puckered her cheeks and blew a curl of hair from her face, “how did it go?”
“Well, Starlight says you’re really cute.”
The red-head perked up immediately, eyes twinkling in a bright grin. “Seriously?!”
Moondancer scoffed, throwing her head back in a cackle. “No! God, your face.”
Sunset’s shoulders slumped and her face twisted in a deep frown, cheeks igniting in a blush. “You’re an ass.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Moondancer wiped a tear from her eye before leaning forward to cross her elbows against the back of her seat. “She did ask about you though. She said you seemed distracted in class today. Everything okay?”
She seemed distracted? So Starlight had been watching her. Starlight was worried about her. Starlight asked about her. Sunset pushed herself into a sitting position and cleared her throat. “Ahem. Yes. Everything’s fine. I was just…” she paused, narrowing her eyes in thought. “Thinking.”
“About Starlight?”
“No.”
“Sure. I’ll play along.”
Sunset rolled her eyes.
“Y’know, Sunset, it’s alright to have a crush on someone. I mean,” the older girl chuckled lightly, “Starlight’s pretty cute. Plus you two seem to have a lot in common.”
“Just because we both like chemistry doesn’t mean we’re soul mates, Moondancer.”
“Woah there!” She held up her hands in defence, “who said anything about soul mates? I just mean that… well, we’re in University. What would it hurt to give dating a try? And even if you don’t want to date—”
“I’m not having a one night stand.”
Moondancer pursed her lips and held onto the backrest, allowing the plastic to creak under her grip. “Noted. But like I said, where’s the harm?”
“The harm is I don’t have feelings for Starlight.” Moondancer raised a brow and fixed her with a sceptical look. Sunset rolled her eyes again and squirmed, rubbing the back of her neck with a clammy palm. “Okay, fine, sure, she’s pretty, whatever. But I don’t…” she shook her head, “I don’t want to. It’s that simple.”
As the thrashing drum solo continued on, Sunset felt her heart beat match it’s pace. Maybe she should have taken up drumming in high school— or some other kind of physically-exerting extra curricular. She’d read in a study that exercise and controlled physical activities was supposed to be really good for your mental health, as well as a great way to vent out stress. There were only so many times she could recite the periodic table as a way to de-stress before she wanted to punch-out whoever decided it was a great idea to name an element 'Nihonium'. Try to say that ten times fast. Nihonium, nihonium, nihonium, nihonium, nihominum— regardless. It wasn’t that she’d preferred to have been a risk-taker, or regretted spending all of her youthful years memorising said table and it’s order— no, of course not. It wasn’t like chemistry was boron. Haha. Sunset smirked to herself with a meek bob of the head. Wait. What were they talking about again?
Sunset shook her head and let out a huff of breath before rising from her bed. “In any case, I’m too busy with school. You know how important this all is to me. I don’t want to complicate things by trying to juggle a relationship.”
Moondancer followed after her sister as she made her way down the hall and into the kitchen to pour herself some orange juice. “Alright, fine. You made your point,” she sighed, taking a seat at the breakfast counter as Sunset filled up and passed her a glass of her own. “I’ll stop pressing you on it. Still,” she paused to take a sip, “you should at least try to be friends with her. She’s actually super chill.”
Sunset raised her cup to her mouth but paused halfway. Sure, a relationship in any kind of romantic capacity may have been off the table, but she hadn’t actually considered just… talking to Starlight. She took in a gulp of orange juice and let the bitter citrus bite at the inside of her cheeks as she swirled it around, mulling the idea over in her head.
She swallowed. “I’ll think about it.”