//------------------------------// // Chapter 15: Ruthless Misfortune // Story: Fallout Equestria: Our Will (rewrite) // by AngryPenguin //------------------------------// ***TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THIS CHAPTER*** "How many must suffer before we can finally have peace?" It took a while for my tears to stop flowing long enough for me to get a grip on my reality. The ache in my chest was almost as bad as the pain in my head. I came to the conclusion that they had to have knocked us out while we were drunk. I figured I was probably out of it and got separated from the crowd. It didn't matter. I just wanted to go to sleep. I wanted, so badly, to go to sleep and wake up in a different place. It was hard for me to focus. I dared not lay my head down all the way for fear of dying. I held back the sickness that kept edging its way up my digestive tract. If I were to throw up, it would have added to the gore around me. "We have to find a way out." Nico urgently whispered. He tried to use his magic, but his horn popped and died. "Damn it. The blow to my head must have screwed with my horn. I can't use magic!" I forced myself to look around, again. The cage bars were tightly closed by some kind of industrial wire. It was twist-tied from the outside. I put my hooves under me to stand. The ringing in my ears almost made me fall back. I grit my teeth and crawled towards the door of my small prison. The latch was warped so it would no longer function correctly. The wire that kept the door shut was out of my reach. My hooves wouldn't fit through the holes. I rubbed my chest. hard. No. I can't panic right. I've got to get this door open! Shaking, I took several deep breaths and backed as far away from that side as I could. It was going to be the best plan I could come up with. With every bit of strength I could gather, I reared up and galloped into the cage. My body slammed into the bars. Fortunately, one of the ties popped off, almost hitting Nico. He looked at the wire then back to me, swallowing nervously. I shook the pain away and backed up, again. My head was beginning to spin in circles. CLANG! Another twisted wire flew off. I didn't bother to get any distance anymore, I just started ramming my shoulder into the cage with all my might. "I hear them. They're coming this way!" Nico hissed, struggling some more. With the help from my adrenaline, I gave it one last shove. The door flew open and I tumbled out, landing on my side. The pain in my body was shooting through, at that point. I wasn't sure if I would be able to stand. The fuzziness grew and the ringing got louder. I forced my body to obey me and get up, even though the room was spinning. "They're trying to escape!" I heard the faint yell of the mare from earlier. The hoofsteps were making their way back towards the factory. I stumbled over to Nico. The chains were held together with the same twisted wires that were on the cage. I tried to use my hooves but I couldn't get a grip on them. I tried again, this time using my wing tips, but my feathers were too flimsy. Damn, these hooves! Damn, these weak feathers! "Can't get them... Off..." I grit my teeth. "Save yourself. I can take these bastards." He whispered. I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you, again." "Just go, Sia!" He growled. "No!" I rounded on him. The echo filled the building. The raiders were getting closer. I quickly hid behind some of the heavy machinery. The old door startled me as it burst open and slammed against the aluminum wall. Heavy steps filled the room, making my head pound. I took deep, quiet breaths to try to slow my thundering heart. I dared to peek under the conveyor belt to see their legs galloping around. "The bitch escaped!" The stallion yelled, slamming his hoof into the concrete, cracking it. The red mare walked up beside him. "We still got the stallion, Nail Bit." Nail Bit slapped her. "I do not want this fucker. I want her!" The other mare caressed Nico's face. "More for me." She giggled. Nico spat at her feet. "Fuck you." She laughed and hit his chest, making him cry out. Nail Bit grabbed him by the neck."Where is the mare, cunt?" Nico chuckled, weakly. "She's gone. You didn't see her fly out the window?" The bigger stallion eyed him, twitching every so often. "Lying piece of shit!" I covered my mouth as I watched the brute squeeze his neck tighter. My rage was slowly building, but there was nothing I could do in my condition besides get us both killed. I was barely able to focus. With tears dampening my eyes, again, I frantically searched around for something to distract them. I lit up when I saw a broken piece of a wrench. I picked it up in my teeth, tasting the metallic rust. Aiming for the hall, I hurled it across the room. Shit, I missed. The loud clang let me know I had missed by several inches. Thankfully, it was enough to get that asshole away from my friend. "Our filly is still here." The red mare said. The clopping of hooves surrounded me as they scattered about, searching for the source of the noise. I pressed my body against the floor in the darkest shadow I could find. Curse this bright hide! The mare that was infatuated with Nico trotted by my hiding place. She sniffed the air, dramatically. "I can smell the fear! Over here, dipshits!" I gulped. "Sia, run!" Nico suddenly yelled. The raiders jerked their heads to him. "Keep running! Don't come back!" He yelled louder, looking in the direction of the exit. I barely spotted his hoof tapping the floor next to him, making a clopping sound out of their sight. Smart. "Let's go!" Nail Bit motioned for the other two and galloped down the hall. When I couldn't hear them, I tiptoed around the corner back to where Nico was tied up. I looked over my shoulder to make sure they were really gone. When I was sure, I turned my attention back to his restraints. A large bruise covered his neck. I moved my eyes to his face. The small scrape on the end of his muzzle made me angrier. I shook my head and gave him my best smile. "You always know what to do." I whispered. "Get out, while they're distracted." "Shut up." I glared at him. "I lost you once, I won't lose you, again." I flapped my wings and flew around the factory, searching for something to cut the wires or the chains. I knocked over some shelves, emptying the contents of the boxes that were stacked there. Unfortunately, it made a lot of racket. It was mostly obsolete supplies and handbooks. Pain suddenly shot through my chest, stopping me in my tracks. It made my fight or flight response kick in and I began to hyperventilate. My lungs felt like they were being crushed by a radhog. The trembling came, next. My legs stiffened as I clutched my heart. "Sia, what's wrong?" The urgency in Nico's voice did not help. "Full blown... p-panic... attack." I whimpered. "It feels like the end, Nico. I-I'm scared." "Youl'll be okay. I promise, we will get out of here. Together!" Then, he added, "You are not dying, today!" The reassurance helped, but I was still crippled. Every time my body wanted to black out, my conscious jolted back to the real world. It was like every symptom of panic disorder and anxiety collided with my body in that very moment. I turned to look at him, to get a look at his face. The attack calmed ever so slightly when he smiled. Everything was going to be okay. It was, because he was there with me. I took a shaky step. Then, another. I won't give up. I won't... hesitate! "Keep... going." I breathed. Miraculously, a large, red tool box caught my eye. It was my last hope. My limbs refused to cooperate without force, so each step I took was a fight for control. The weight on my chest lightened as I made it to the tool box. Thankfully, the drawers were already open. I scanned the old contents. Just about everything was rusted or severely damaged. I did manage to find a pair of wire cutters. Testing them on the latch of the box, I sighed in relief when the latch snapped in two and not the cutters. "I-I found something to get the chains off." I said, gripping them in my teeth. The taste of rust was not something I could get used to. Walking as fast as my stiff joints would let me, I kept my eyes on Nico. It felt like forever before I reached him, but I finally got there. "Hold still." I instructed. I clamped the pliers on one of the wires and squeezed. Like a twig, the metal snapped, falling to the floor. One down, several to go. I grunted as the next wire fell to the ground. I managed to cut nearly half of them, before a loud bang jerked me from my concentration. Nico and I twisted around to see Nail Bit and all his muscle standing in the doorway with a terrifying amount of anger etched in his features. "Fuck." I dropped the pliers and stumbled back. The terror rose from the pit of my stomach like a monster awakening from its slumber. He stomped towards me, every step seemingly shaking the building. My back hit a machine. He growled as he stepped on the pliers, breaking them completely. I was going to die. Death knew where I lived, from the few times it had knocked on my door. "You will pay for wasting my time!" He shouted, rancid saliva raining on my face. My pupils shrunk as he grabbed me and slammed me on the ground. The breath was knocked from my lungs. Nico screamed and swore at the raider. I could hear the chains violently shaking. "Leave her alone! I'll kill you! I swear I will fucking kill you!" Nail Bit laughed, hysterically. "This is your piece of meat? Don't worry, I'll take real good care of her." I groaned. I didn't even try to get up and run. I probably could have attempted to fly away, but he was a unicorn so he could have caught me in his magic. The shadow of the large stallion covered me. Just as I looked up, he roughly rolled me onto my back and held my hooves out. His awful stench filled my nose, making me cringe. When he lowered his head closer to mine, his smile showed off his putrid teeth. I struggled under him, but it was like trying to move a Raptor without power. "You found her!" The mares trotted in. The red one giggled in delight. "Go ahead and do what you gotta do!" The other one trotted over to Nico and grabbed his face. "You just keep your eye on them. It'll set the mood for us!" I screamed, tears streaming down my temples and into my mane. The bastard stuffed a rag in my mouth, silencing me. His yellow eyes widened in joy as he spread my hind legs apart. I sobbed through the rag as I felt... it. It was touching me. I shook, violently. Words could not describe the horror that tore my heart into pieces. He was going to violate me. I couldn't do anything about it. "Y-you son of a bitch! I swear to the goddesses, I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!" Nico screamed, earning a slap from the mare. That was the beginning of a torture that I will never be able to erase from my mind. Every part of me shut down as agony tore through my nethers. I began to spasm, my lungs burning so bad I just knew I was going to stop breathing any second. My leg spasmed, but since he was holding it down, it pulled out of place. He was killing me! I wept, uncontrollably, trying to scream through the nasty fabric. I could hear Nico screaming. At least the pain in my shoulder took away some of the pain in my hind end. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying for death. I prayed Luna would send the moon down to crush me. I wanted to die. I wanted to get away. I was brought back, with a headbutt from that awful monster. "Open your fucking eyes! I want you to feel it!" He laughed. My mind was shutting down, anyway. I couldn't even struggle anymore. I couldn't get away. I couldn't even avoid his murderous eyes. I wanted to look at Nico, but he wouldn't let me. The only thing I could do was lay there and have my dignity torn from me like the colors from my uniform. The humiliation smothered me. Embarrassment. I was a foal to believe this place held any hope. Every time he grunted, I wanted to bang my skull against the concrete floor. If his head wasn't against mine, I would have. I hoarsely whimpered, some more. "Yeah, keep whining. It makes it feel better!" Nail growled, throwing my legs further apart. My muffled screams were just adding to it, but I couldn't stop. It hurt too much. "You know a mare has more than one hole, dumbass." The red mare cackled. Nail paused. Then, grinned. A grin that will forever haunt me. Every shred of my being was being torn, burned, and disposed of before my very eyes. "Hold her down and open her mouth." He instructed his small gang. "No! You mother fucker!" Nico screamed more profanities until he could barely speak. The red unicorn trotted over and snatched me up, holding my forelegs behind my back. I felt the cold, sharp blade of a knife at my side. "I will kill your friend and then, I will kill you if you don't do it, right now!" She pulled the rag from my muzzle and threw it to the side. I wept, my tongue dry. That... that beast stood on his hind legs, using my head to balance himself. I struggled for a breath of something that wasn't coming from his body. It was a hair away from my muzzle. ZAP!! The stallion burst into ashes. The mare let go of my legs, making me fall to the floor. I curled into a ball. I could hear the sweet, sweet sound of wings flapping through the factory's high windows. The Enclave. They came back for me... I heard Redd's voice, then I heard the crunch of bones as somepony took out the red mare. The sound of blood curdling shrieks, followed by gurgling came from the other one. My friends were yelling. I only stared at the wall, my back to them. I couldn't let them see me. I couldn't bare to let them look at what I was reduced to. I was nothing. A nobody. Just a toy. I felt a hoof on my back, making me tense, again. I wanted to close my eyes. I was tired. Sleep is what I needed. No! He will kill me if I close my eyes! I have to watch! I have to keep my eyes open! "Oh, my goddesses! Sienna!" Daddy? Somewhere, chains hit the ground, followed by the pounding of hoofsteps galloping towards me. Nico slid to a stop, nearly falling in front of me. I couldn't look him in his eyes. I had to keep my focus on the wall. He, gently, held my head. I noticed the shine coming from his cheeks. I knew all too well what tears looked like. He pulled me into an embrace. Behind me, I could hear roars and the sound of metal breaking. I couldn't tell who it was. "I'm so sorry... I-I couldn't save you from... I'm s-so sorry." Nico clung to me. So warm. Warm enough to sleep. "N-no... I c-can't... close my eyes. H-he will kill me! I have to watch!" I pushed away, resulting in my body convulsing. "S-Sia?" If I close my eyes he will kill me! I can't close them! "She's going into shock!" Violet? My best friend! "We need to get her to Zangth, right now!" I forced my mind to shut down. I was so embarrassed. Scarred. I would never forget. I couldn't. Truthfully, I didn't know what to feel. What I wanted to feel. This is what I got? For trying to do the right thing? I was trying to help these ponies, to save them from Hope. Their safety was a priority. Because that's what brave ponies do. They put their fear behind them for others. They risk everything for the good of ponykind. Did I do something wrong? Was I too scared? My fear. That had to be it. If I had more courage, it wouldn't have been this way. I hesitated. I felt myself being laid on a table. I was in a hospital room. Surgery room, it looked like. A mare stood to my right. She wore thick glasses and had a straight, brown and gray mane. The white coat over her pink fur had a name tag with the name "Cherish Rose" written on it. I stared at her for a while as she inspected some medical supplies. I slowly turned my head to see a stallion in a similar lab coat. He spoke in hushed tones with Violet. No, he wasn't a normal stallion. I squinted my eyes. Stripes... "Z-Zebra! Zebra!" I flailed and struggled, knocking over a surgical tray with my tail. I was strapped to the table! The two ponies and zebra rushed over and held me for added restraint. "It's okay! It's okay! Zangth is one of us! He won't hurt you!" Violet rubbed my cheek. I opened my mouth to say something, but all I could do was groan in pain. "Sedate her." The zebra told Cherish. "No! I can't close my eyes! I can't close my fucking eyes!!!!" I cried. The needle stuck my rump before I could say anything else. As if Luna, herself, cast a spell upon me, my body relaxed. My thoughts receded into the dark pit of my mentality. There were little, tiny Lunas, hopping around the room. They were so calm. So soothing. I lay on the table as Violet stroked my mane, humming like a mother would for her foal. I pierced her eyes with mine, wondering if she was going to leave my side, again. She tried to smile. "You're going to be okay, bestie." She looked over at the zebra. "What has to be done, exactly?" "First, we need to stop the blood. She has some bleeding in her nether region. It is common in sexual assault." He snorted. "A crime that should be punishable by death." I hear rubber gloves snapping and the tinkling of metal tools. I was surprised the zebra didn't even have an accent. "S-sexual assault?" Violet repeated. Her eye twitched. "As in..." "Yes, Violet. That is what happened, is it not?" She looked back at me, a tear in her eye. It is not hard to tell when someone is mad. They may make a face, or gesture. Violet? I could feel the temperature of the room rise as she shielded her rapidly growing rage. "It... okay, Vi." I slurred. She broke out of her trance and nuzzled me. "Sia, I'm so sorry..." "Bastards!!! All of them!!!" I heard my dad's roar down the hall. I didn't know if I was moving slowly or if time was moving quickly. Before I knew it, My hind legs were in stirrups. I felt my legs want to spasm as I was being prodded in my, already burning, marehood. I cried. Not only for me, but for those who had to live in the wasteland. They were raped, beaten and murdered every single day. Most probably didn't even have medical attention. Nopony to hold them and tell them everything is okay. I was lucky to have both and it made me feel guilty. I felt Violet gently wipe my tears away. I kept my gaze on her, again. I loved her, so much. "I-I want to go home..." I whispered. I felt like a foal, but I didn't care. Violet sighed. "I know, I know. Shh." "Don't leave me, again, Vi." I teared up. "I promise I won't leave you, again." She brought her hoof to my forehead, moving my bangs from my eyes. I flinched at the needle down there. It must have been pretty bad if I had to be sewed up. Zangth finally came into view as Nurse Cherish finished up. "Okay, Violet. I will need your help for this. I have to take the restraints off her foreleg, and I need you to hold her still while I set it back into place. Thankfully, it is not broken, but it is out of its socket. I would wait so as not to overwhelm her with any other medical treatments, but the tranquilizer doesn't last as long as we really need it too." He fixed his thin-rimmed glasses and nodded to me. "O-okay." Violet murmured, walking around to my sore appendage. She grabbed my shoulder and held it down as Zangth unstrapped the restraint and placed his hooves around the joint and the bone that was supposed to be connected to it. "Ready? One, two..." On three, I felt my leg twist and pop, sending an unsurpassed amount of pain through my nervous system. Even with the sedative, I let out a cry. Just as it came, though, it went. It was a little sore, but nothing like it was before he set it. I groaned, again, when he put pressure on the joint to make sure it was in the right place. "There." He nodded, satisfied. "You can walk with this hoof, but do not try to use it as much as you normally would for a few days. I really wish I could have used a healing potion for the internal tear, but we had to use our last two yesterday. The stitches will do, for now. They will dissolve once they've done their job." He trotted to the other side of the room, setting the gloves in the sink. The sink was, surprisingly, shiny. "Thank you for the bag of caps that was hurled at me, but you did not have to pay right away." He smiled. Violet shrugged. "Sorry about that. Just keep the change. It should be a little more than what you normally charge." He nodded. "I want to keep her over night. In the morning, I will distribute some mild Med-X." He eyed Violet over his glasses. "She needs rest. And for the love of the ancestors, limit her alcohol intake. Intoxication makes anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder worse! If you need me or Nurse Cherish, we will be down the hall. We will be back after the sedative wears off to move her into a suite." With a shake of his head, he trotted out of the room. Cherish rolled her eyes and smiled. "He's an asshole." She mouthed. I heard the door close and hoofsteps walking down the hall. Violet sighed and continued to stroke my mane. I was so glad she was there. I wanted to ask her about the strange physician, but I figured I had better wait until my attention wasn't so clouded. That, and I felt guilty for the outburst, earlier. The door opened and in walked Nico and Redd, the latter red-faced. Redd snorted, pacing around the room. "This place is nothing but a desert of destruction! Rotten, no-good-" Violet sighed, cutting him off with a glare. Nico rounded the table and rested his head next to mine. I tried to nuzzle him, but I didn't know if I could move, anymore. "I-I know what happened to her..." Violet said, quietly. Nico swallowed. "I-I couldn't... do anything..." He stared. I reached for him, putting my hoof on his unscratched cheek. His eyes were glassy. Redd growled. "I hate this bucking place." "Where is Mixer?" Violet asked. "He had to go back to the bar. He said he would be back when she was rested up." Redd sighed. "He also said if we leave her side we will all be turned into a cocktail." "Oookaaayy..." Violet said. I made an attempt to laugh, but it came out as a weird throaty noise. They looked at me. "I hope that was a laugh." Redd smiled, coming to the other side of me. I nodded, weakly, turning to him. He rubbed my foreleg with the Pipbuck. I tried so hard not to close my eyes, but they forced themselves shut. At least my friends were there. They wouldn't let anything else happen to me. I expected nightmares to begin. For a while, they didn't. I just seemed to float around a void. I wasn't concerned, though. It was soothing. That is, until my eyes opened to the same factory setting I was in, just hours before. It didn't even feel like a dream! The scenery was the exact same, except the chains that held Nico were on the floor. He wasn't in them. I galloped forward, only to have the cage appear out of nowhere. I screamed and slammed into the cage door, like I did the first time I escaped. It wasn't budging, this time! "Somepony! Help me!" I cried. My voice was warbled, barely audible. "Nopony is coming." My chest crawled. It was him. He was coming for me! I didn't dare turn my head. "I-it's just a nightmare. You c-can't really hurt me. You're dead." I whispered. "Maybe, but at least I'll get to haunt your dreams, again. And again. And, again!" Laughter exploded around me. First, just his, then the mares joined in. I covered my face, trying to wake myself up. I whimpered as the laughter grew. The cackling was instantly replaced by one quiet chuckle. A voice I hadn't heard since that night after the Wild Formal. Opening my eyes, I saw her dark, cloaked silhouette behind the raiders. Hope. "You're running out of time." For her to be so far away, her tone was loud and clear. I screamed her way. "You will not screw everything up!" She smiled under her hood. Nail Bit stepped into view, blocking her. I looked up at him, terrified. He was a skyscraper compared to the real version of him. The cage door opened on its own. I bolted past him, towards the hallway. Tears of joy fell from my face. I was going to escape! The door suddenly stopped growing. I had stopped moving even though my hooves were pounding this floor. I began to rotate on my own, turning back towards that wicked grin. He smiled, wide. I blinked, then I was on my back, again. My breath quickened. "This is gonna be fun!" He laughed. "No! Get off! Leave me alone!" I screamed. He laughed louder. "Don't be so stupid!" His hooves pinned me down. As I screamed, a white light almost blinded me. It was the same light that always saved me from my nightmares. It flared as Nail Bit disappeared from my view, disintegrating into nothing. I retracted me limbs, rubbing my chest. I couldn't see anything but that light. It got brighter and brighter until, finally, I had to shut my eyes. "I-I'm so sorry what happened to you, darling. I'll try to keep him at bay." Rarity. My eyes flew open. I was drenched in sweat. My eyes darted from wall to wall. I was back at the hospital, in a different room. It was pretty cozy, compared to the surgical room. Old generic paintings of flowers and birds hung on the walls. They weren't near as beautiful as Nico's, but they were still pretty to look at. Next to my bed was an I.V. tube, snaking down into my leg. It looked like it was only fluids. I checked my Pipbuck. Early morning. I took a slow, shaky breath. Something warm lay next to me. I turned to see Redd, asleep. There was a disturbed cot at the foot of the bed. "R-Redd?" I whispered. He raised his head, yawning. "Are you alright?" "No..." I said, quietly. "The nightmares." He sat up. "I know. I was going to sleep in that cot, but when I heard you crying... I knew why. I must have fell asleep trying to keep you company so you weren't scared." He rubbed his mane. "I'm sorry." I shook my head. "I'd rather you be here than be by myself, right now." He smiled. "Nico and Violet went to check on Mixer. He... was a little pissed off." I flattened my ears. "I should have-" "Don't you dare." He eyed me. I sighed, with a small smile. "I just wish I remembered how we got there." He frowned, his face turning red. I looked at him, puzzled. "What is it?" "I-it's nothing." "No, tell me." I narrowed my gaze. "You know what happened." Redd look at me, uncertain. Finally, he sighed. "I don't want to bring it up right now, but Violet knew. Last night, after you were moved to this room, I spoke with Violet. She said you, Nico, and I all were pretty wasted. At some point during the night, Nico had went to help Mixer with something and you asked me to come outside with you. I swear I don't remember anything. I-I don't know what came over me, I just-" "What happened?" He bit his lip, face redder, now. "We... You and I... did the thing." He quickly added, "I swear I don't remember! Violet caught us around the building!" I stared at him, instantly knowing what he meant. He winced. "You have every right to be mad. I should not have taken advantage of you, like that. I wish I hadn't even drank anything. I-" "It's okay." I said. And just like that, the memories of that night came flooding back to me. I remembered dragging him outside. I remembered seducing him. We made love, then I got up to use the restroom, but I was hit in the head before I could make my way back to the tavern. I remembered it all, just then. It was a little fuzzy for small details, but it was enough to put together. I got down and dirty with Redd. One of my best friends. "Sia? Please, say something." Redd uttered. I didn't know what to say. My face turned fire red. "Th-that was my fault..." Why did I have to wake up, today? He scratched his neck. "It was my fault, too, Sia. I should have made you go back inside. I knew you'd regret it." I shied away. "I... I don't regret it." He looked at me like I suddenly turned into an alicorn. I cleared my throat. "I don't, honest. I-I'm kind of embarrassed that I exposed myself like that, but I do remember enjoying it." Redd grabbed me in a hug. "I'm just so sorry." I returned the embrace, burying my nose in his chest. I wasn't sure what I should have said. I did enjoy my... time with Redd, it was just everything that happened after that. In a way, I was super relieved to hear my virginity wasn't taken by that thing. I cared about Redd. He did more for me than he knew. I could have cried tears of joy, but I was too tired to cry, again. "Thank you, Redd." I said, softly. He pulled away. Guilt covered his face. "What, on Equus, for?" I half-smiled. "For making me feel better." He relaxed. "Anytime you need me, just let me know." Silence. "Let's get this out of the way." I said. "What does this mean for... us?" He tilted his head. "What do you mean?" I rubbed my forehoof. "Where do we stand?" "Oh." He twisted his ears. "What do you... want it to mean? I mean, obviously not right now, but..." I blushed. "After all this is over, of course... We will figure something out. Until then, we can... be friends, still?" He nodded. "Of course." I kissed his cheek. "You're the best, Redd." He grinned. "Well, I try." Time passed as we waited for the others. Cherish brought us a little food and water. She took out my I.V, which was a relief. I couldn't help but feel better with Redd there. I thought it would be awkward, but I admit it was nice to be closer to him. I had feelings for Nico, too. Can you love two ponies at once? Did monogamous relationships exist, anymore? These emotions confused me. I had never experienced this type of problem before. It shouldn't have even been a problem, seeing as though I just arrived in an arena of death. I had been violated the day before. That should have put me in a dark place. For some reason, I just felt numb to it. I was upset, sure, but not like I should have been. That scared me more than the depression. You're losing your mind. I shook the thought from my head. I couldn't have been. Could I? A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Violet and Dad walked in, carrying my saddlebags. Dad rushed over and grabbed me in a hug. "My baby!" I curled up in his hooves like a foal. I needed to be a foal in my parent's embrace, at that moment. I sighed, closing my eyes. "When I heard what happened, I..." I heard the grinding of his teeth. "I wished I could have did to that buck what I did to that mare." I gulped. He broke her neck, I'm sure. "It's alright, Dad. They're gone, now." He rubbed my back. "I should have never let you leave the bar to look for stones. Your rock collection is not as important as your life." Stones? Rock collection? I looked over his shoulder to Violet, who winked. Of course. "I-I know. I'm sorry." I squeezed him. Nico hadn't come in, yet. He probably didn't want to look at me. I flattened my ears. "Where is Nico?" I asked. Violet stepped up next to me. "He went to grab a bite to eat. I don't think he's eaten anything since we left the shack." "Oh." I hoped he was okay. "Do you want me to stay with you, sweetheart?" Dad rubbed my mane. I smiled. "No, it's okay. You probably need to be there to keep the place running. I think I'm gonna take a nap, anyway." "Are you sure?" He made me look at him. I forced a laugh. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll be getting out of here today, anyway. I'll come by." He sighed, then kissed my forehead a couple of times. "Alright. I love you. Do not forget to come by!" We said our goodbyes, and off he went. I was left in the room with Redd and Violet. The latter, I had a bone to pick with. "Violet." I felt my temple with my hoof. "A... rock collection?" She stifled a laughed. "I'm sorry, okay? I know you don't remember what happened, I just-" My face burned. Glancing at Redd, I saw he was already blushing. Violet saw, too. She gasped "You do remember!" "Vi, please..." Redd began. "Can it, mister. Auntie Lightning raised you better than that." She scolded. He puffed his cheeks. "I-I-" "And you!" She pointed to me. I sighed. "Ma'am?" "No more drinking while you're in heat!" She shook her head, but hugged me. "I'm just glad you're alright." This is a confusing day. The three of us were chatting for a while. I almost dozed off until I heard another knock.The door opened, yet again, as the tan-coated unicorn walked in. I was expecting his usual, cool self. Today, he barely looked up from the floor. He trotted up to me and hugged me. "How are you feeling, today?" I cautiously wrapped my hooves around his neck. "I'm okay, Nico." Then, I looked in his tired eyes. "I promise." His smile was forced. "Red, Violet, could I talk to Sia, alone, for a minute?" The two pegasi shared a look before heading out the door. When it closed, Nico stared at me for a second. Then, he broke down. This stallion, who was a hardass, was crying in my lap. His tears stained the thin blanket that covered my bottom half. I didn't know what to do, at first. I shrunk down, unable to even comprehend what was going on. "Nico? Hey, it's okay." I hesitantly placed a hoof between his shoulder blades. "What's wrong?" He lifted his face, the saddest face I had ever seen on him. "I wish I would have taken it instead of you." I clenched my jaw. "Nico, no. Please don't say that." I finally felt tears in my eyes. Finally, I was feeling something. He sat next to me in my bed and held me. "I felt so useless. I couldn't imagine what you went through. I-I couldn't do anything." I held him and cried with him. "Nico, no. No, no, no. I'm okay! You promised we would get out and we did!" He nuzzled my mane. "Please, just hate me. Just break my heart so it will be easier." He slumped. "Please." This was not normal for him. There was something else, I sensed. I pulled away and focused on his face. The bags under his eyes were a sure sign he hadn't slept. His mane was more out of place than usual. His barding wasn't even straight. Something else was going on and I was going to find out. "Nico... There's something else, isn't there?" He perked his ears for a second before he looked away. "What is it?" No reply. "Tell me!" I grabbed his hoof. "I did not expect it to hurt this bad, again. Except, you didn't leave me. You were taken from me, Sia. I can see the emptiness you're feeling. You're in a place, right now, where you think shutting everything down is going to make it go away. You were starting to come out of your shell and find out what a pony should be in this fucking place. You still are, but now..." He put a hoof on my face. "You feel broken and not yourself." He drooped. "And it's my fault. What he did... That- that absolute bastard did to you, was what I was so afraid of happening. I'm so damn scared of losing you." A couple of tears fell from me, but nothing more. "What do you mean? Where is this coming from? You're scaring me." Nico hugged me, again. "I can sense the difference in you. You're not... yourself. When you looked at me, last night, it was like the color was draining from your eyes. I know you're still there, but you just have to fight back." I pushed him away. "Nico, are you alright?" He held his head with a hoof, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for this." "What-" He pulled out his rifle and aimed it at me. I couldn't fathom what had gotten into him, but this wasn't my Nico. "Sia, you are not yourself. I have to get you back!" "Nico! Stop! It's me! I swear it's me!" I cried. He shook his head, screaming profanities. The shock and fear encircled me, again. It was like last night. No, it was worse. My friend has turned into just another raider. For a second, his eyes flashed yellow. His pupils were pinpricks. He had lost his mind! "No. No!" "Yes! I have to do it!" He slammed a round into the chamber. "Please, Nico!" "Sienna! You're gonna be okay!" My breath left me. "I'm here with you!" He cried. His sobs were echoing through my head. What the hell is happening?! "Enough of this rubbish!" A voice boomed. Rarity?! Nico disappeared from the room. Rarity's voice came back. "Sienna, darling, there is something going on, here. Something is trying to mess up your head. I'm trying to hold these nightmares at bay, but it's getting more difficult by the hour." "What- This is a nightmare? Rarity-" "You're waking up. I'll try to get to the bottom of this. Just, try to keep yourself together!" "Wait!" I woke up. My eyes flew open, again. Nico held me in his hooves. I backed away from him, on instinct. His face wore a look of confusion and hurt. He didn't look as bad as he did in my dream, but he still looked exhausted. I searched for his rifle. That intimidating thing would never look the same, either. "Sia? What's wrong?" He tried to come closer, but I flinched. Tears poured from my eyes. "W-where's your gun?!" His hoof retracted. "My... gun?" "Where is it?!" I yelled, covering my face. "My gun is in the security box in the lobby." He looked at me funny. I peeked through my hooves. "Y-you aren't trying to kill me?" He pinned his ears back. "Why the hell would I do that?" For a second, I sat there. Unsure. "N-Nico, is this a dream?" "No." He narrowed his eyes. "If this is a joke, it's not funny." There he is. I paused before I threw myself into him. "Nico, I'm sorry!" He slowly hooked his hooves around me. "Sia, what happened?" "A fucking nightmare! They won't stop! First, it was him. Then, you tried to kill me. You said I wasn't myself! I am myself! I am!" I bawled. After lots more hugging (seriously, I love hugs) and crying, Nico finally lifted his head off mine. "Sia I would never...I can't believe-" He sighed. "I'll never hurt you." I hiccuped. "Y-you were saying these weird things in my dream. How it was your fault I was violated, how I wasn't myself. Y-you pulled out your gun a-and want to 'bring me back'." I felt his body tense. "Stop. Please, I-I don't want to hear anymore." I wanted to stay in silence for a while. His heartbeat and steady breathing was enough to calm me down. Through everything, I just wanted my friends beside me. Power, wealth, even going back home was not as important to me anymore as having them. Whatever was causing these nightmares, was not something I wanted to deal with. If it wasn't for Rarity, there's no telling the shape I would be in. She was a friend, too. "Better?" He whispered. I nodded, sitting up. "This has been a shitty couple of days." He hung his head. "I know. I wish you didn't have to go through this. You don't deserve it." I cringed at those words. "D-don't talk like dream Nico." He tried to hide his smile. "Sorry." "Where are Violet and Redd?" "You fell asleep, so they went to grab a few supplies. They asked me if I would sit with you." "Where were you, earlier?" I flattened my ears. "I-I was looking for you." The shame was there, no matter how much he tried to hide it. I felt guilty for saying that, right then. "I-I don't want to sound like dream Nico, but I am kind of beating myself up." "Kind of?" I raised a brow. "Okay, I am completely dead to myself. I'm useless." He sighed. "I'm getting tired of everypony blaming themselves." I put a my hoof on his. "Please, don't." I felt him squeeze my hoof. He nodded. "Okay." Pause. "One more thing, though." "What?" "How... did you get captured? I wasn't with you. They knocked me out when I was on my way back to the shack." Nico glanced up. I gulped. What the hay am I supposed to tell him? I don't want to tell him what happened! But...I also don't want to lie to him. "Violet told Mixer you were..." He snickered. "Collecting rocks. That is the worst lie I have ever heard." I blushed. "I uh..." Can I go one hour without something taking the rug from under my hooves? *ERROR*: UNKNOWN USER! CANNOT REGISTER VITALS SYSTEM RESTART ONE MOMENT... ...... ...... USER IDENTIFIED FEMALE/PEGASUS WELCOME BACK! Level Up! S- 3 P- 3 E- 4 C- 3 I- 5 (+1) A- 4 L- 3 New Perk! Not Gonna Take it! - When your health is low, your accuracy goes up 10%.