The sterile scent of hospitals is something I don't think I'll ever forget. It covers the decay, the sickness that creeps through everything inside. Hospitals are a place of mortality and insanity - places I don't want to be. Ponies are fragile beings, prone to breaking under even the slightest stress. Not recalling how I got here is almost as familiar as breathing, but this hospital is different to the one in Canterlot.
There was a slight cosiness to the Ponyville Hospital. It still smelt like a hospital and still had that creeping edge of everpresent mortality, but there was warmth. There was a window beside the bed, I could make out the branches of a tree in the waning sunlight. Something about the orange sky worried me, but I couldn't remember exactly why. I couldn't really focus on that though - my face felt like it'd taken a buck to it.
Modern medicine was a wonder. While it couldn't heal sickness or serious injury - a broken nose wasn't really a problem. Sure, it hurt like Tartarus - but a part of me just knew that it could have been worse. I was connected to a healing potion drip of which I certainly wasn't going to pull on. The thought of blood squirting from a removed catheter made me queasy, more so than usual.
Suddenly it all came flooding back. My mouth goes dry as if to vomit as images flood my mind, but there's nothing to come up. Roseluck, standing cowering, forelegs practically scarlet with blood. It's certainly not the worst thing I've seen - they just love tormenting me with terrifying images. What makes this wrong is this is real; real and terrible. Worse - my friend was badly hurt by it.
Roseluck was the first pony to be nice to me when I moved in. She was friendly and actually tried to make conversation with me. Back in Canterlot I had quite a reputation as the crazy adoptive sister of the Sugar family with the freaky cutiemark. Aside from one pony - everyone else that wasn't related to me left me very quickly. No one wants to be friends with a pony who couldn't tell what was reality and what was an illusion.
I sat up and winced as a splitting pain went through my skull. Apparently it was a bad idea to suddenly move after receiving a buck to the head. From an earth pony no less. It hurts so much I can literally hear the pain. I can feel it behind my eyes forcing them shut as I close in on myself. Thoughts hurt. Everything hurts. Why won't it stop?
Hush now quiet now, it's time to rest your sleepy head
The migraine stops as suddenly as it came, my blood chilling in my veins. It'd been a long time since I heard that lullaby, since the day they first came to me. They weren't real of course, they were my conscious mind equinepomorphising my insanity caused by my cutiemark. Still didn't make it any less creepy to hear a physical representation of my-
Wait.
I shimmy out of the covers enough to look at my flank. My cutiemark decal was supposed to be an exact copy of my cutiemark. It was... unsettling. What was worse was that the thing kept changing on me, so I'd have to alter it constantly. At first it'd been one single eye - an oddly shaped eye that looked a bit like an almond rather than a real eye - that had a pupil, but no iris. Over time at seemingly random points in my life, other eyes appeared. Dragon, pony, goat, even thestral eyes have appeared. Last time I checked there were seven.
Now there were eight eyes: an additional chartreuse, distinctly pony eye right in the left corner.
~***~
Time and memory are not my friends. They jump and dart around me constantly, as elusive as sanity. Although I might not be crazy. My life has kind of shattered around me in the span of a day. Up is down, left is right, I'm somehow not crazy and I keep hearing a Celestia forsaken lullaby.
Hush now quiet now, it's time to go to bed
Not until I see Roseluck, creepy voice. I have no clue what's going on, but I need answers. Pink, the best sister in the world, would remind me that I need to make some hypothesis or do research and not stop until I have an answer. I don't have a hypothesis because I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I can do research.
Ponyville Hospital is a lot smaller than Canterlot Hospital as it turns out. Between when I discovered Roseluck's eye on my cutiemark and now are an all too familiar blur. However, I have a good guess on what happened. I still have the stand carrying the bag of healing potion beside me and I'm in front of a door that seems to be the ICU based on the fact it has some security. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the mystery of the missing memory.
While I do know a few spells that could get me in easily I don't want to have to explain to security why or how I broke into the ICU, especially with my record. Canterlot Mental Hospital has a fairly extensive file on me, one I don't want to add to in a hurry. If I'm not allowed in the legal way then I can still try the easy way. I press the button on the side of the door. "Doctor Horse speaking, state the nature of your visit and name"
"U-um, Lacunae here to see R-Roseluck? I'm her friend" I barely manage to mumble out. He takes a while to respond, the sounds of a lullaby playing in my head. The voice singing is familiar... but I can't place where I've heard it before. It's not my sisters or anyone else recognisable. Understandably though it sets my mane on end, but I can't for the life of me figure out who it is singing.
The speaker crackles as a buzzer sounds. "Come on in, just be wary that her bedside is filling up rather quickly" I push open the door and trot in. The air inside is almost freezing and underneath the smell of bleach and alcohol is a distinctly metallic odour. Faint, but unmistakable nonetheless. A brown unicorn is there waiting for me as I enter, levitating a clipboard with a distinctly bored facial expression. He briefly looks at the stand I'm holding onto with the half empty bag on it, but doesn't seem to care too much. "Follow me" I trot a few paces behind Dr Hooves, the lullaby even more creepy with the looming aura of death in the air.
Hush now quiet now, close your sleepy eyes
Eventually we reach Roseluck. She isn't restrained despite having kicked me in the face earlier, but I can see why. Roseluck's forelegs are covered in brown bandages, the smell of various dressings interlaced with the metallic tang of blood nauseatingly strong. A tube goes underneath her bandages linked up to a blood bag which is presumably saving her life. There's a wet cloth covering her eyes, Rose's face deathly pale as she mumbles incoherently. No wonder they didn't think to restrain her - she looks close to death.
Daisy, Lily, and... Starlight Glimmer? The three look up as I approach. The two flower mares muster up some weak smiles at the sight of me. Doctor Hooves sighs and trots away without another word, leaving me alone with the three mares. Awkward silence fills the room, save for the singing in my mind. "Hey"
"Hey" Daisy replies to my awkward attempt to start a conversation first. She seems quite uncomfortable, constantly staring at my broken nose. "Please don't hold it against Roseluck. Sh-she's not... sh-she's-"
"The eyes... they stare... stop" Roseluck whimpers as she begins to twitch. Daisy places a hoof on the bed beside Roseluck, looking about ready to cry.
I nod and stand on the other side of the bed as I look at Roseluck fearfully. "I have an idea on what she's going through, so no judgements" I clear my throat as I look at Starlight suspiciously. Like many of the ponies in Ponyville, Starlight Glimmer is quite a terrifying presence for me. For others it'd probably be the fear of her snapping back to the pony who stole Twilight and her friend's cutiemarks. There's a rumour that S class unicorns like Starlight can sense dark magic - considering the fact I have a nasty susceptibility to cast one of the darkest spells there is for 'cheat' days, I probably reek of it. However, Starlight seems far more interested in Roseluck at the moment to bother with me.
"If this isn't too intrusive, can I ask what she's been mumbling about?" I try to ask as normally as I possibly can as I lock eyes with Lily.
Lily frowns and shakes her head slightly as if the very thought disgusts her. "Eyes mostly. I noticed that she was repeating herself though and managed to piece together a phrase... but it's just..."
"It's just what?" I look back at Roseluck as she begins to mouth something, but no sound comes from her.
Lily shifts awkwardly in her seat as she looks back at me. "There are a few phrases. They're all about eyes and watching... except one" I lock eyes with Lily and feel a hint of dread as the singing abruptly stops. "'The wall between the Others and us is crumbling down in the gaps'. It's nonsensical, but for some reason it unnerves me" Lily blinks a second as her golden eyes focus on me. "Why do you ask?"
Beads of sweat make my mane cling to my neck. "J-just a hunch. C-could you, um, this is going to sound really, really weird, but could you check Roseluck's cutiemark for me?" I can feel Starlight Glimmer's stare burrowing into me at the question. Lily looks uncertain, but Daisy is way ahead of her as she pulls the blanket down to look. The hospital gown covers up most of Roseluck's pale fur, but from my memory doesn't extend to past the cutiemark. The sheet creeps down agonisingly slowly, Daisy clearly cautious as to not disturb her friend too much.
The edge of Rose's cutiemark is visible, the green stem still there. However it's paler then I remember although that could just be from the bloodloss. She is paler than usual everywhere else - surely her cutiemark is the same? That's how pigmentation should work. Daisy frowns however as she catches sight of a distinctly red outline. "What the-" Daisy pulls the cover away quickly as we all gasp.
I'm not a stranger to the defacing of one's cutiemark. Several times after I would black out in Canterlot Mental Hospital, I'd come to with bandages over my cutiemark. It was extraordinarily taboo though and considered a truly terrifying thing to happen. Cutiemarks were a pony's destiny - to purposely bring a weapon to the definition of themselves was horrifying to even think about. By some miracle of magic the scars did nothing to cover the pigments of a cutiemark and would just be slight distortions of the skin, barely visible. The fresh wounds however were very clearly visible.
Over the top of Roseluck's cutiemark she'd engraved an eye. Not just any eye however. While to the others in the room - the alien almond shape and lack of iris would almost seem like the mark of a cult. To me it was an image that made the blood drain from my face and cause a dizzy spell to start. Roseluck had engraved my cutiemark over her own... what was worse was that it seemed older than the wounds on her forelegs by a day or two.
Oh, fuck.