Two months passed
The time was 2am. The air was cold and dense as summer turned to fall. Alan and Celestia slept soundly in their bed. When in the dark of the night a creek of a door was heard. The slight scent of gasoline was in the air.
Alan awoke to see someone else in the room and reached for his gun. *BANG* a shot rang out through the quiet town in the dark of night.
"WHAT THE BUCK ALAN?!?!" Celestia screamed as Alan jumped up and turned ob the light
"YOU FUCKING SHOT ME ASSHOLE! A masked pony said with a gunshot wound in her leg
"LYRA?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! POURING GASOLINE THROUGH MY HOUSE? YOU WERE READY TO SET CELESTIA, MY CARS, AND ME A BLAZE JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT CAUGHT BEING A SLUT!" Alan screamed pissed as all hell
"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LED ME ON! AND AS SOON AS WE BREAK UP YOU GET WITH THE FUCKING PRINCESS WITHIN 24 FUCKING HOURS. IT'S ONLY FAIR!" Lyra screamed back
"You don't have to be a jealous bitch. You were honestly about to kill us........" Alan got surprisingly calm. The air got tense. "Jealousy is deadly. I could've put one right between your ears.....but I didn't. Tell me why I shouldn't now." Alan said pointing his gun at her as her eyes went to pinpricks
"WOAH, WOAH, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END LIKE THIS!" Celestia jumped infront of the gun
"Babe, she just tried killing us what punishment does that entail. Because where I'm from it's fully legal to kill a home intruder if they are a threat to you. So 'it's only fair'" Alan said.
"She will get locked away just please. Don't take her life. We gotta get her to the emergency room. As Princess it's my duty to keep all ponies safe." Celestia pleaded
"Ok" Alan said as he put his gun down. "As long as she's also taken of the streets im happy" Alan said as Celestia casted a pain neutralizing spell on Lyra.
"Poof me babe." Alan said as he stood in a 't pose' *POOF* clothes appeared on Alan "now lets get her to the ER then the Royal Guard" Alan said as he walked down stairs and into the garage. "Celestia can you Poof away all this gasoline? Im starting to feel light headed.....Wait." Alan leaned over. "IS THIS MY 100 OCTANE? ARE YOU TWISTING MY NUTS RIGHT NOW?!? YOU'RE SOOHOHOHOOOO FUCKING LUCKY TWILIGHT CAN DUPLICATE THIS" Alan was beyond pissed at this point that he just sat on his couch and put his head in his hands.
Celestia used a teleportation spell on the gasoline to teleport it back into the jerry can. "I'll just teleport. You calm down ok hun?" She put Lyra down. She walked over to give Alan a hug and a peck on the cheek. "Let's go" Celestia said flatly to Lyra
Alan was left alone until....*POOF*
"Alan you ok?! I heard a gunshot and a lot of screaming. Where's Celestia?" Twilight asked
"Lyra just tried burning Celestia, My cars and me alive." Alan said very flatly
'I'm going to kill that green shit' Twilight thought. "Alan it's ok. You're here now. Wait you didn't kill Lyra did you?" Twilight asked
"Sadly no, but I hit her leg and Celestia took her to the ER." Alan said getting up and fixing himself a salad. He also queued a song he found relaxing. 'Lord knows' by Upchurch & Bottleneck
"This is different." Twilight said looking at the speakers around the house
"Welp. Ash and AJ have been hangin a lot, and Ash has been listening to her country stuff. It grew on me. I liked Upchurch back on Earth and it used to calm me down. It was in my 'Cruising music' playlist. It just really helped me clear my head
"So we haven't talked in a while....has Hellhorse come to life yet" Twilight asked trying to spark a conversation.
"Nope I think it's cos it wasn't assembled before I came here so. Oh well" Alan chuckled while taking a bite of his salad
"That's a shame. I would've loved to see what kind of personality Hellhorse had." Twilight said a little Saddened
"It's fine by me. I couldn't ask for a better family right now. Celestia is an amazing mare, and the cars literally call her mom while they still call me Alan." He started laughing. "I was gonna go to Rarity today to buy a ring. I'm gonna propose to her on Friday." Alan said looking up from the game he was playing on his phone.
"I'm very happy for you two. I would be more than happy to attend the wedding." Twilight said walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.
"Yeah I just hope she says yes." Alan said.
*click* crrrrRRRREEEEE
"*Yaaaaawwwwn* Is Tia here? A sleepy Luna asked "I sensed distress. We are royal sisters, so when we're stressed or in trouble we sense it" she said
"Nnnnnnope. She's at the ER with 'Lucky to be alive Lyra'" Alan said to Luna
"Wait, Lyra? Why was Lyra here?" The now worried Luna asked
"She was pouring the gas for my cars through my house, planning on burning your sister, the cars, and me alive in our sleep" Alan said very blatantly trying to hold back his anger.
Luna was at a loss for words and just teleported to the ER
"Wait if she could sense distress. I really hope she can't sense other things...." Alan pondered. Twilight flushed a little red at Alan's out loud thought
"I doubt it but it's not tooooo unlikely" Twilight teased a little
"I've learned a lot of new insults from Jack, don't make me use them little purple" Alan chuckled
"So have I you, big hulkin fuck" Twilight jabbed
"Oh are we gonna go there poity head little shit" Alan snapped back playfully
"You fuckin know it you fat twat" Twilight spat
"Oh I'll show you fat when i throw you like a fastball" Alan walked over and picked up Twilight
"I didn't mean it. I was just joking" she balled up
"I know. You think I'd actually hurt you with intent?"Alan ruffled her mane and laughed