//------------------------------// // Psycho Analysis // Story: Last Mare on Earth // by Coyotek4 //------------------------------// “… and then Rainbow Dash flooded the entire castle with storm clouds! It was a complete fiasco!” Pinkie Pie laughs at the recollection as Cozy Glow takes in the whole story with shock, awe, and fascination. “You know, at the time it was super-horrible what happened, but now I look back at the whole thing and I just laugh. It’s strange how the worst moments in one’s life can become the best memories.” “Didn’t you once teach us that comedy is just tragedy plus time?” Cozy Glow asks. “It sure sounds like me, but I dunno. Maybe? Anyway, I remember while telling off Starlight that I never burn cakes, and what do you think happens a week later? I go on a trip with Applejack and Rarity, have another rough time of it, and burn another batch of cupcakes while telling Twilight about my trip! Can you believe it?” ”What the devil are YOU two talking about???” Pinkie and Cozy turn to see Tirek standing mere feet from them. “Oh hey Tirek,” Pinkie cheerfully says. “How long have you been hanging around here?” Tirek grumbles. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Canterlot is utterly deserted. No ponies, no woodland creatures … not even so much as a bug.” “Hey, I know I’m not the Element of Honesty, but I did say so.” Tirek’s focus shifts from Pinkie to Cozy. “And since when did you get so chummy with this … this, psycho?” “Hey, Professor … I mean, Pinkie Pie is a really good friend when you get to know her better, and I’m thrilled that she’s forgiven us. It feels great to be able to start over.” Tirek puts a forehoof to his head in exasperation. “You don’t really believe her words, do you?” Pinkie turns to address Tirek. “OK, full disclosure: even I didn’t really believe my words at first … but the more I thought of it, the more I realized how true those words really are. And I mean it when I say it, Tirek: I do forgive you … and I hope you can forgive me for all that’s happened.” Incredulous, Tirek turns to Cozy Glow. “And you just swallow this up, don’t you?” “She is very persuasive. You should try it; you’ll feel so much better.” Cozy’s comment elicits a laugh from the centaur. “All right,” Tirek says, “seeing as we may be stuck with each other for all eternity. So, ‘Pinkie Pie’, you say I can be forgiven.” “Uh huh.” “Right … so in case you’ve forgotten who I am: I came to Equestria with my brother with the intent to suck all the magic from this world; my threat was so great that I was sent to Tartarus for eternity after my brother betrayed me. Then I escaped and carried out my plan a second time, nearly succeeded in draining every pony including you, in case you’ve forgotten. And THEN I orchestrated a coup upon your land with Cozy Glow as my protégé. And let’s not forget: together with Chrysalis, the three of us nearly conquered the world before the Princesses and that fool Discord turned us all to stone! So I ask you again … HOW DO YOU COME OFF SAYING THAT I CAN BE ‘FORGIVEN’ FOR ALL THAT???” Pinkie ponders Tirek’s story for a minute. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.” Before Tirek can reply, Pinkie’s silhouette turns into a puff of smoke that slowly dissipates. “Wait, where did she—” An instant later, Pinkie returns with Rarity’s well-worn couch. She prods Tirek onto the couch, causing him to fall on his back and lie facing the sky; she then pulls a pad of paper and a pencil from her mane and sits down on the ground. “So … vhere zhould vee begin?” she asks in a bizarre accent. Tirek sits up and stares at Pinkie. “What … how … where did you …” “Eh, remnants of my time as Fillisecond. Now where were we?” “But … but …” Unable to continue a sensible conversation, Tirek lies back down and concedes. “Whatever, let’s just get this charade over with. What do you want to know?” “Well … why don’t you tell me a bit about your family. What were you like when you were young?” “This is ridiculous!” Tirek reiterates. “Ah ah ah … you’re blocking. We need to get to the root of the problem before the healing can really begin.” Tirek sighs. “Fine … since you refuse to let anything go, my father was Lord Vorak and my mother was the gargoyle Haydon. I also had a miserable brother, Scorpan.” Pinkie raises an eyebrow. “Interesting … why would you refer to your brother as ‘miserable’?” “He stabbed me in the back! We could have ruled Equestria together, but he had to befriend your Starswirl the Bearded and those other ‘ponies’.” “Interesting,” Pinkie replies as she scribbles into her pad. “And why were you so bent on world domination? From what I’ve gathered recently, it’s a real chore to rule. “What kind of question is that?” Tirek asks, astounded. “The chance to rule over all, and show everyone that you’re fit to do so!” “ ‘Everyone’? Is there someone in particular that you were trying to show?” Tirek turns his neck to face Pinkie, then turns back to face the sky. “My father held me back. Said he was ‘concerned’ about how I would turn out. But I knew … indeed, I knew more than anyone …” “Hold on, let’s back up a second,” Pinkie suggests. “While you and Chrysalis and Cozy Glow had us locked up, Discord got under your skin; he caused you to lash out … didn’t he mention your father?” “ENOUGH!” Tirek rises with a start and flips the couch in a rage. He turns to Pinkie, fuming with anger. Pinkie drops the pencil and notepad and stares back at Tirek, her smile piercing his soul. “I think we’re close to a breakthrough!” she declares. “WHAT BREAKTHROUGH???” “It was never about ‘world domination’ with you, was it? It was always about trying to make your father proud of you.” Tirek blinks. “I was lucky; my father was very much an ‘old-school’ type. Simple living, off the land, …” She chuckles. “My family worked on a rock farm. And that’s great for my sisters and my parents, but it just wasn’t me. I knew my path in life would lead in a different direction … but I always knew that my father would support me and be proud of me with whatever I did with my life.” “I … you’re …” Tirek stammers. “And my sisters … well, they’re always there for me. Maud, of course, but also Limestone and Marble. I remember feeling so low when I thought I was losing Maud to her boyfriend, but then Limestone and Marble showed me the error of my thinking and helped me appreciate Mudbriar and what he offered Maud. You know, I was really blessed with a loving, supportive family. I wish you could have had the same.” “That’s … that’s enough now,” Tirek quietly states. “So let me see if I have all this figured out: you grow up having special talents, but rather than nurture those talents or steer you to a common good, your father restricts you. So you feel the need to show him what you’re ‘really’ capable of, and you set out for world domination. And no, I can’t condone enslaving a population of ponies … but when your brother turns on you, that had to be heartbreaking. Meanwhile, once you’re stopped by those who you were trying to enslave, rather than try to educate you on the power of friendship and find a way for your talents to be put to the greater good, they toss you into a prison and pretend you no longer exist.” “That’s not how it went at all! …” Pinkie ignores Tirek’s statement. “All that time, locked away, no friends, no family … all you can think about is how your father and brother hurt you. And even if they did had a change of heart, they couldn’t even tell you.” “Stop bringing up my family,” Tirek pleads. “And then there’s the Tirek I know, the one who escaped Tartarus, knowing nothing of friendship and strong family bonds, knowing only that you want to ‘show everyone’ … Tirek, you need to hear this from someone who cares:” Pinkie walks up to Tirek and embraces him. “It’s not your fault.” “That’s enough out of you …” “It’s not your fault.” Tirek turns away. “Don’t do this to me …” Pinkie maintains her grasp. “Hey … it’s not your fault.” “I’m the most powerful foe you’ve ever …” Tears begin to form in the centaur’s eyes. “Tirek … it’s not your fault.” Cozy Glow, having quietly watched the entire scene unfold, feels a surging sensation. She floats over to the pair and joins the embrace. “Tirek, it’s not your fault,” she echoes. “Stop it, both of you …” “It’s not your fault.” “It’s not your fault.” Unable to contain himself any longer, Tirek crashes to the ground and weeps. “I … I can’t do this anymore … I’m sorry …” “It’s OK,” Pinkie reassures. “We’re both here for you now. We can start over; it’s a whole new world now.” “I promise, I’ll be good … I’ll use my powers for the benefit of creaturekind … I’ll make you proud, father!” “We know,” Pinkie says, “and we’ll be right there with you.” For what seems like an eternity, the three embrace as the tears flow … … but soon, they detect the sound of wretching. Pinkie turns her head and sees Chrysalis hacking and choking. “Oh hey Chrissy, how long have you been hanging around here?”