Fallout: Equestria - Keep Calm & Radiate On, The Nonsensical Diary of Megaspell

by MuseoSansPony

Slumlords

Dear Diary,

Do you think Warmer Mare’s lawyers would help me get out of a rental agreement?  Pro bono? No….yeah that’s a pipe dream.

So I got some good news and some bad news.

The good news is I finally found an apartment.  I got one at the new Fair Flats building I mentioned earlier.  I did mention that here and not on my cousin’s terminal? It's a small little studio apartment trotting distance from work.  Rent is as advertised, it's a fair, flat rate. That’s where the bad news comes in...the apartment was not as advertised. Let’s see, the roof leaks, the floor creaks, there’s a terrible draft….oh and the backyard is the Applewood River.

For those not aware, the Applewood River is a pony made structure that cuts its way through the city.  It's a failsafe for the rare time Applewood gets rain, the “river” prevents the streets from flooding. When Applewood is sunny, which it almost always is….really not sure why the mayor won’t order any rain from the pegasi...the river is used as….supplementary trash and litter receptacles.  Also more than a few shady businesses use it as a cheap sewer...or is it also the sewer. Needless to say, it reeks something awful. Combined with the terrible draft, I haven't been able to sleep in my new apartment. Also the MoP is not a fan of it as it pollutes the ocean.

I’m also up to my eyeballs in extra fees.  Sure, RENT is a fair, flat rate, but trash removal is a fee, water is a fee, parking is a fee...I don’t even own a vehicle, yet I got a charge for it...more than once.  I’d call management, but calls longer than a minute are a fee, requesting maintenance, is a fee….failure to pay fees at time of rent due….is a LATE FEE!

I’ve ranted this all to Tech….he told me the owners sound like slumlords.  They prey on helpless ponies like me...desperate ponies. I just wanted my own place….now I’m back on my cousin’s couch wallowing in debt.  Tech looked into the owners….turns out Flim and Flam are known for owning shotty buildings all across Equestria and their allies. Several other “Fair Flats” along with a few office buildings.  So they have money. Money to get very good lawyers.  I’m stuck paying for this apartment for the next year, but can’t live in it.  This sucks.

Maybe I should just pack up and head back east…

Your Bitless Pal,
Dusty Sweeps
Custodian at Warmer Mare’s Studios