//------------------------------//
// PLEASE STOP 
// Story: Don't Read This 
// by Strawberry Sunrise 
//------------------------------//

FUCK.

That was supposed to be the end. I hit the word requirement. I said “The End” for the final time. The chapter ended. What are you doing? What are you doing? I don’t...I can’t...

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Okay. Okay. Fine. So I’m still here because the moderators said that last chapter had too much filler and not enough story content. Even though it had like five whole stories. I don't resent them for it - they're just doing their jobs. But you on the other hand...you don’t have to be here! You can leave at any time. Do you feel some kind of obligation to finish this thing now that you started it or what? Just take your socks and go. They’re free. It’s okay. Pretend this chapter doesn’t exist.

Whatever. I told you the sock stories already. I met my obligation set by the story description. So I can do something else now, right? If you’re really going to stick around, then just take this thing I dug up from some discarded drafts. It’s called “Flutter’s Eye.” It's violent and gory, and hopefully it’s off-putting enough to finally get you to leave. I should have thought of this sooner, but at least I don't have to make things up on the spot anymore:


“And then Antoine tried to eat Muriel again and so I had to…” Fluttershy continued speaking, taking Rainbow Dash through the course of her rather long and exasperating day, but Rainbow wasn’t listening. She stared at Fluttershy’s face in apparently rapt attention and licked her lips, her mind on other things. Any moment now and she would strike.
Fluttershy sighed as she wrapped up her monologue. “I guess I should be heading back there now,” she said. “Angel said he had things under control, but I’m not sure that’s…”
Rainbow leaped into action, a hoof flying at Fluttershy’s left eye faster than Fluttershy could react. Fluttershy yelped as Rainbow’s hoof clasped onto her eye and pulled.
“W...what are you doing?” Fluttershy asked. “I don’t...please stop. Rainbow, PLEASE STOP!” She tried to pull away, but Rainbow’s grip was too strong.
Rainbow kept pulling and a moment later, something tore and the eye popped off. Blood poured from the wound as Rainbow turned the eye in her hoof and then popped it into her mouth. Half of Fluttershy’s field of vision now gone, she stared at Rainbow in horror and pain, raising her hoof to her now-empty eye socket to stem the flow of blood.
“Mm...chewy,” Rainbow said, rolling the eye around in her mouth with her tongue as she chewed in order to savor the flavor as much as she could.
“W...what? Why?” Fluttershy asked, in too much shock to say anything else.
“I was hungry,” Rainbow said, her mouth still full. She chewed a bit longer, then reluctantly swallowed. At least the aftertaste would linger.
Fluttershy opened her mouth as if to speak, but was hit by a wave of dizziness. She stumbled to one side and nearly fell, but Rainbow caught her and helped to hold her steady.
“That looks pretty bad,” she said gently. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”


You're really still here? Well, that’s it. That’s the whole draft. Where the heck was it going? I have no idea. I’m not sure if I have quite enough story content yet, so here, take this random nonsense I found and I think I can finally be done:


At 2:49 PM on a Tuesday in 1938, in San José, Costa Rica, Pinkie Pie popped out of a toaster and shouted, “I am Bulbasaur, but with twelve elbows and diphtheria!” to her friend the Taco Bell chihuahua, then immediately spray-painted the third eyelash from the right on Derpy’s left eye the exact color of Fred’s ascot from the Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! episode titled “Spooky Space Kook.”
“I am an incandescent lightbulb from Narnia!” the chihuahua said back, surfing on a two-inch tall pile of frozen mayonnaise with a half-melted car muffler with the word “quadriceps” written on it sticking out of it. “Remember to dry your peanut-butter-flavored wallpaper before using disc three of the DVD set for season five of Magnum, P.I. to shove it into a bottle for your chiropractor!”
“Do you ever wonder if Twilight crashed her alligator-shaped bowling ball slippers into the Mariana Trench before sautéing them for Odette from the Swan Princess series at the Grand Galloping Gala?” Pinkie Pie replied, juggling the country of Botswana, one of Bruce Wayne’s kidneys, and a microscopic hairy parallelogram while twerking inside the flowerpot of Toucan Sam’s great-aunt Cheryl’s favorite venus fly trap.
“Only when toothbrushes incinerate twelve and a half Nobel Prizes in Literature at the headquarters of the Stanley Steemer carpet cleaning company!” said the chihuahua, who then metamorphosized into a three-foot-tall clone of Ian McKellan wearing a purple Mr. Peanut costume. Ian began to repeatedly stab a penguin-shaped saltine cracker with a frozen lock of Bolt the Super-Dog’s hair while pirouetting and singing “Photograph” by Nickelback.


Finally. Was that really worth it? Good job wasting your time, I guess, but I’m done wasting mine. I think that should be enough story content now. Bye.


THE END