//------------------------------//
// Don't You Dare 
// Story: Don't Read This 
// by Strawberry Sunrise 
//------------------------------//

Seriously? Out of all the stories you could have chosen to read, you picked this one? What, did the cover art make it stand out? It’s literally just a generic picture of Twilight. I mean, I’ve seen so much better. Was it the title? The title literally told you not to read it. The description? Did the description catch your fancy or trip your trigger or whatever you want to call it? “Twilight Sparkle buys socks.” Whoop-de-doo. Like…what did you hope was going to happen here? Come on, this is just stupid. Just…just please go. Just read something else. I hear “The Enchanted Library” is good. It won some award or something. Go read that. I’m sure it’s a million times better than whatever I might come up with.

Are you still here? Great. Lovely. I suppose I’m going to have to tell you some kind of story or something now, I guess. I can’t just stop here or post a bunch of gibberish or something and call it good, can I? So I’m going to have to actually narrate something. Fine. Whatever.

Uh, let’s see…um…one day, Princess Twilight Sparkle, uh, went to the mall or something. Yeah, that’s probably something she would do. Twilight, she, uh, went to the mall and bought a new pair of socks. Princess socks, ‘cause she’s a princess. Yeah. Alright, so let’s see, um…she bought some socks and then…uh…then she went home.


The End


That was it. That was the story. Why are you still here? Oh, that wasn't enough for you, is that it? You want character development in your story? You want conflict, do you? Fine. Let’s get this over with.

Twilight Sparkle, she, uh, went to the mall and bought some socks. She needed to buy the socks because, uh, it was…uh, it was Sock Day. It was Sock Day at the, uh...at the…at the School of Friendship and so she had to buy socks for all the students. Um…but then when she tried to give the socks to the students, they were really, uh…really mad. Yeah. They said they hated Sock Day and…uh…what’s her name…Smelter….no, uh…uh…oh yeah, Smolder. Smolder took, uh, she took her pair of socks and she, uh…and she burned them. She breathed a bunch of fire and it was really hot and she burned them. So then Twilight, uh, decided Sock Day was bad. It was a bad idea, and so she canceled it and, uh…then, uh…the school never had Sock Day again. Yep.


The End


You’re still here? What was missing? Twilight realized Sock Day was bad. That was her character development. She developed as a character. The students hated Sock Day. There’s your conflict. What more could you want? I mean, you want something more than that? You want me to just keep making up some stupid story just because you clicked on some stupid title on a website and thought there would be a story here? Fine. Let’s just, uh, throw in some more ponies or something. You like ponies, right? I mean, you’re reading a My Little Pony fanfic after all. You must like ponies or else you must be some kind of masochist or something. I mean, hey, ponies are great, I’ll even admit that, but if you don’t like them, then, like, why are you here? You know what I mean? Anyway, let’s add some more ponies.

So there was Twilight Sparkle, and, uh...the mall, and, uh...she bought socks. She bought the socks from, uh...from Rainbow Dash. Yeah, Rainbow Dash, she was working at the mall, and, uh, selling socks. They were...they were Rainbow Socks. She got an endorsement deal or something. Yeah. That’s...that’s why she was selling socks. ‘Cause they had her cutie mark on them and it, uh…so, um…so, her cutie mark... it, uh, um…wow, I lost my train of thought there for a second. Just…uh, yeah, so, uh…Twilight bought the socks from Rainbow Dash and then she took them to the school ‘cause it was some stupid holiday. I forgot what the holiday was. Oh yeah, it was Sock Day. Sock Day was really stupid and all the students hated it so they, uh…they told Starlight Glimmer ‘cause she was…uh, she was the counselor and, uh, Sock Day was so stupid that it was giving the students mental anguish just like you’re giving me fucking mental anguish here and so they were, uh…they were, uh…uh...so Starlight Glimmer suggested that they tell Twilight about how they feel. So, uh…then when Twilight gave them the socks, Smolder burnt them. She burnt the socks, and then Twilight decided not to have, uh...not to have Sock Day anymore because, uh...the socks were burnt and, uh…that, uh…that wasn’t cool and so she thought it was, uh…not…not a good holiday. It was…it was a bad holiday. Also Scootaloo said she would never talk to Smolder again, ‘cause, uh...cause she burned Rainbow Dash's socks and...and that was disrespectful or something.


The End


Fuck. Why are you still here? I added three whole ponies. Rainbow Dash? Starlight Glimmer? Scootaloo? I keep just…I don’t…what the…what the heck do you want? This is fucking torture. Like why the fuck do you keep reading? I mean, I told you three whole stories now. Just move on. Just read something else. Just go. Just…just fucking go.

Fuck.

Once upon a time, blah blah blah, Twilight blah blah blah did some random stupid fucking thing and it was something stupid involving fucking socks and they were fucking stupid. Rainbow Dash thought were stupid and Smolder thought they were stupid and Starlight Glimmer thought they were stupid and the whole fucking thing was stupid. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck blah blah blah blah blah. Sock Day is bad, the socks are burned, the whole fucking thing is over. Just let me fucking be done. Stop making me fucking narrate this stupid fucking story.

Fuck.

Fine. You make me keep doing this, I’ll make you a part of it, too. Would you like that? Huh? Would you fucking like that? Let’s go.

Twilight Sparkle, she goes, she buys some fucking socks. She gives them to you. You get the stupid fucking socks and now you have some stupid fucking socks and I just realized that I made it over a thousand words a little while ago so I can finally get the fuck out of here and you can do whatever the fuck you want with your stupid fucking socks. Have a happy fucking Sock Day.


The End