Thoughtletts
Chapter of Ultimate Madness
“You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”
—Robin Williams
Some of these wound up in Never The Final Word - Volume 2 (This time it’s personal), but I’m including them here because I’m too lazy to pick them out, like raisins in Raisin Bran. Besides, they’re good for you.
Present Perfect asks who would you ship with Starlight. I understand the OTP needed.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/894567/who-would-you-ship-with-starlight
She is my sun, my desire, and I long to be with her always. Her every breath brings joy to my innermost self, and I lean as close as I can to breathe in her scent while she is bent over her desk, hard at work. Spiced chillis and cinnamon tease my senses, bringing a thrill that exceeds all of my previous experiences. Taco Tuesday, of course, my favorite time of the week, and when I put on the most weight.
I yearn to nibble back when she gives me a thoughtful nip during a break in her studies, but alas, I dare not even try. I am a slave to her caress, bending to her touch with a surge of unattainable desire, for our differences are such that the love I feel throughout my body can never be quenched by the mingling of our bodies and production of offspring.
Or can we?
I take the time to display my desire to my love, shyly concealed from the view of others, and await her response. I yearn to see the seed of life grow within her, but to my dismay, even this rare display of my sexual prowess is ignored. Or at least until my hated rival approaches and engages my love with her crude attempts at intimacy.
"Hey, Starlight!" Trixie hopped up and sat on the principal's desk, giving Phyllis a shove to make space. "The school buckball game is about to start, and they're waiting on a certain great and powerful principal to make the opening announcements. Hey, you saved me a snack."
Trixie gave a quick bite at the white flower showing in Phyllis's foliage, only to have Starlight Glimmer yank the pot away from her at the last moment. "Strange," she murmured, looking at the tiny white flower. "I didn't know philodendrons flowered."
"Leave your botanical studies for school time," said Trixie, giving her friend a shove. "I've got a few hundred pounds of illegal fireworks to set off before somepony catches me, and after the buckball game is the perfect time to dispose of the evidence... I mean celebrate our school victory."
"Okay, okay." Starlight trotted for the door, turning back at the last minute to pluck the white flower out of Phyllis's pot and tuck it behind her ear.
As she left her office for the evening, she never even heard the inaudible screams of the mangled plant as it mourned the loss of its masculinity while clinging to the faint positive of his love being displayed for all to see.
If only she understood his pain, both physical and emotional.
Coffee Minion is taking a sabbatical. I wonder if anybody else is considering it
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/891183/sabbatical
You know, we need a story about Twiggles taking a sabbatical.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Since Tirec destroyed my house last week, and I've got a new crystal castle to get broken in, I think this is a good time for me to take a sabbatical. I'll see you when I get back in a year.
Your fellow princess
Twilight Sparkle
The ground shook under the footfalls of the titanic animated Ghost Apple tree as it stomped toward town, bellowing at the top of its lungs and swiping at passing ponies. Well, all except for a relaxed alicorn taking in a sandwich at the local deli.
"Sabbatical!" she called out, which made the huge tree pause, then look down. "I'm off work until next year, so if you want to make an appointment or something?"
"Greouuufffff," breathed the huge plant.
"A week after I get back," mused Twilight as she scribbled in her calendar. "Got it. Hope it's not too much inconvenience, but I really needed some me time."
"Hasssffffullll," groaned the animated tree as it turned and began making its way back to the forest.
"You're welcome!" called out Twilight, then took another bite of her sandwich. "Don't know why I didn't do this earlier."
Estee makes a short blog post on a Pokemon character Grand Oak. I add the logical extension
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/889092/kanto-legalized-it
Legalized...oak?
“So, Twilight,” panted Spike while raking furiously, “ why do we gather up all of the library leaves and store them in the basement every year?”
Twilight Sparkle took a long drag off her cigarette, held it for a while, then let it out in a long whoosh. “Because sometimes Mama just needs a little something special for her nerves when we come back from missions.”
Errant has a wonderful little story about Rarity confronting Twilight Sparkle about her failure to find appropriate dates. I had to scribble something in the margins.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/457709/twilight-sparkle-has-a-type
"No psychological profiles?" Twilight tried her best not to scowl as she trotted back into her crystal castle. "The nerve! To think I do psychological profiles on anypony that might fit into a prospective dating pool!" She stalked into the second library annex, the one she had kept clear of books so she could have enough table space and file cabinets for her research project. "I can't believe Rarity of all ponies would think I kept psychological profiles on anypony."
She yanked the drawer labelled 'Ra-Re' open and leafed through the folders inside until she found the one she wanted, then made a few changes inside.
☑ - Overly nosy
☑ - Honest and direct
A few moments with an abacus revealed the end score was unchanged, and she jammed the folder back into the file cabinet with a growing sense of discomfort. "They're not psychological profiles," she muttered. "They're compatibility matrices. Totally different."
The Writer’s Group had a nice thread on Is Princess Cadence an Empath. I took it to the natural end.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/50/the-writers-group/thread/425550/is-princess-cadence-an-empath
"Look, honey. I had to. You know it."
"Yeah," grunted Shining Armor, still looking out the window.
"He was holding the entire empire hostage. He was threatening our ponies. I didn't have any choice."
"I know, dear." Shining Armor finally looked back at the bed, where the Griffon emperor was curled up around Princess Cadence, who was politely fending him off at hoof's length. "It's just... we have an army." He gave a brief unhappy snort. "It was my turn, anyway."
"You can have the next one, Shiny." Cadence patted the edge of the covers. "Now, come to bed."
Grimm has a wonderful story called “And I Would Live in Stone” about Chrysalis and her future.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/454522/and-i-would-live-in-stone
Airy Words has a nice addendum. I added an additional addendum.
There was no choice. I spat defiance at my eternal enemy, determined to meet my end as a Queen, not a mewing grub.
And then... Twilight smiled. Oh, not the smile of viciously crushing an enemy beneath her hoof. A smile of victory, of complete triumph, and joy.
“Good,” she said beneath her breath, and turned for the exit to my pestulant prison. “Walk with me, Your Majesty, one last time. There is something I must show you.”
I was sore tempted to merely remain sprawled out where I was, but there was something about the gait of the purple menace, a ginger motion of pain withheld no matter how she set one hoof after another. So I followed, cautious despite my temporary infirmity and gathering what meager scraps of power I could during the short trip.
There at the entrance to Tartarus, she stood. Proud. Noble. Vulnerable to a single stroke from behind which would end our battle forever, if I had the strength, which I did not. Instead, I continued until I stood beside her, and gaped at the sight below in the valley.
It was a city of steel and stone, stretching up to the sky and glittering in the sunlight like a faceted jewel of immense size. Through the artificial canyons and cliffs flew all the creatures of Equestria, from griffons and pegasi all the way to those colored monstrosities which once were my own children, and spread out in the streets below were the rest. Carriages of mysterious unknown origin traveled the narrow paths between pedestrians, and even soared into the sky without a single creature pulling them, although it was difficult to tell from the colorful advertisements which adorned every flat surface of both vehicles and buildings.
The sight should have brought an invigorating burst of emotions to feed upon, but all I could feel was a dull malise, which thickened as my nemesis spoke.
“Thousands of years of peace. I thought friendship was the answer, but after a time… Without challenges to their lives, the citizens of Equestria have grown slothful and complacent. My own student who rules in my stead since my retirement does not even have friends of her own anymore.”
“My heart bleeds,” I mutter, although I conceal a burst of joy at the sight of the complacent citizenry, so ripe for plunder and my own rule.
Twilight looks up into the sky and takes a deep breath, tainted with the scent of petrochemicals and rot that fill my own nostrils. “I know in her heart, she can bring the world back into balance. What she needs… is you.”
“Me?” I snarl. “I will not bend to your will, so what makes you think I will— wait.”
To my consternation, the alicorn is still smiling, as if my every word had been anticipated. Far worse, her body is beginning to fade in the bright sunshine, and I begin to see her devious scheme.
“You think I cannot defeat your overfed spawn?” I spit at the fading alicorn. “I will crush her! I will grind her bones to powder, and bring all of your beloved creatures under my rule! For thousands of years, I have not yielded! Equestria will be mine!”
“Good,’ says Twilight. “That’s exactly what she needs.”
Then there is nothing but a few wisps of fading purple light chasing around the sunbeams. I fume and scream at what can no longer hear my profanities, tear up the ground, and gnash my fangs in frustration. My vengeance cries out for her blood in vain, for my nemesis has gone where I dare not follow. Even the open doors to Tartarus behind me fail to give me allies in my quest to the power I deserve, for all of the imprisoned monsters are gone, warped and twisted to the sickly cause of Friendship, save myself.
After a time, I cease my futile ranting and consider my options. It would serve Twilight right if I were to accede to her constant requests after she had passed, but I spit that out and grind a hoof into the idea. To be honest with myself, as I hate doing, there is only one path I can take where my victory over her is assured. Only one option left to the last Changeling Queen in the world.
I gather my strength and walk into the valley, looking forward to the fight.
JediMasterEd has a poignant blog post about radio and vacuum tubes. I can’t help it. I blame the moose.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/878675/armies-of-the-night
Subtle? I don't believe I know that word. (Although I am a fan of R. Crumb)
It was the Seventh Cycle of Renewal before Oosh taught me of the ancient race, an experience that shaped my every cycle since with endless questions and curious exploration. I was but a few hundred units in weight, nowhere near large enough to maintain my own hydrogen flame by gravity alone, and needed to gather near my elders while accumulating mass and knowledge. He held my exosphere in gentle gravitational lensing until I had achieved a parabolic shape, and watched silently for several pulses until I spoke.
"There is nothing but random noise in the spectrum, ancestor. It is a common radio star."
"Listen," rumbled Oosh in the sloshing of metallic hydrogen and second-generation metals deep within his core. "Divide the song, split it by frequencies over and over until you can distinguish the Song among the Songs. There, you will find the Humans which live in your deepest core memories, which have been passed from the One unto you."
It made little sense, but I did as he requested, stretching further with my tenuous accretion disk and refining the curvature of my body until I felt... Not one Song, but thousands upon thousands, split by frequency and amplitude, burst in packets of digital ones and zeroes, woven and mixed until I lost myself in their glory.
"Ahh," rumble Oosh. "You hear." His own bulk effortlessly swelled into a parabolic disk a thousand times my size. "Focus, young one, and you will hear the gift that The One gave to this small speck so many Cycles ago. Every timeperiod they call a year, it repeats, a Song of Joy to the Sacrifice of our One who proclaimed their own One."
And there it was, in the crude language of their kind that only made the Song greater. I remained with Oosh until the Song was over, and accepted his gift of hydrogen and sodium, before drifting back out to my stable orbit. There have been many Cycles since, but every timeperiod relative to that distant place, I listen and wonder. Thousands upon thousands of their timeperiods have passed since they sang their Songs, carried on the electromagnetic winds of radio waves. There have been times when I have skipped through the Underspace to listen to the way the Song changes over time, although I have never undertaken the great journey it would take to skip to their world and see what has become of the Singers. It is sufficient to think of how their kind must have reclined in lakes of liquid hydrogen and Sang their Songs of Joy every timeperiod, rejoicing over their own One in their special way. Sometimes I wonder about the knowledge I have of their language, how we can understand what these unknown creatures Sang so long ago. Or perhaps those same creatures shed their singing forms to become us, rising into the stars alongside their Song.
thatoneguyisbestpony has a ‘Ponies on Earth’ story in Admiral Biscuit’s challenge which is just an adorable look at what human and pony construction workers have to go through. Of course I added to it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/454353/the-new-pony
I would imagine each pony race would have their own construction idiosyncrasies.
"Hey!" I waved the new guy over. Just when I was getting used to having a pegasus on the crew, here came something else to knock my sanity into the scrap pile. "Bender, can I get a moment, please."
"Sure thing, Boss." The unicorn stopped under my stepladder and looked up with big yellow eyes, which went well with the hard hat (with hole for his horn) and bright yellow vest. If there were some sort of dress code for construction workers, Bender could have strutted down the runway in a minute. He even managed to keep his hair... that is mane neatly combed at the end of the day when he took the hard hat off. "Oh, you found the T junction splice I had to do in order to meet the LEED standards for air circulation. I was going to tell you about that as soon as I tested the other airflow diverter, just to make sure it was going to meet code. We'll need a change order, too."
"What do you mean, diverter?" I asked, waving one hand at the air return. "This goes straight into that support beam! It can't--" As impossible as it seemed, there was airflow coming out of the unfinished ductwork, and when I bent over and looked through it, I could see daylight and part of a tree. Which was a pretty good trick, considering the only trees on the site were on the other side of the building, and there was no sign of any cuts on the support beam.
"I thought bringing in fresh air from under the maple tree would make the building smell better," continued Bender, "so I employed a simple n-orthogonal dimensional bracing strut splice to cross-link the spatial coordinates. Once I finish the thermal exchanger and retune the spinwise torquing, the exhaust air should match the intake air temperature within a quarter of a degree. Not the best solution, but it's the best I could do given the time available if we're going to finish next week."
ArgonMatrix has this wonderful short story about Grogar visiting Princess Twilight Sparkle and negotiating a ‘please don’t shoot me in the face with rainbow lasers and I’ll be good, ok?’ deal, and I just couldn’t leave well enough alone.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/454028/friendship-bewitched
"So..." Starlight Glimmer moved her ficus to the other side of the principal's desk next to the 'Best Headmare Ever' mug full of empathy cocoa and just observed Twilight for a moment. There were twitches, and sprung up hairs, as well as that creepy smile to observe, which really did not proclaim 'The Princess of the Realm is Sane' in any kind of body language. Instead of calling for the School Counselor (which would not have helped Twilight's stress level, since Starlight Glimmer had not found a way to break the news about Trixie's new job to Twilight Sparkle yet), she let out her breath and asked, "How can the School of Friendship help you?"
"I've... got a new student for you," started Twilight before rolling right into her next question. "Do you remember when we talked a few months ago about how I had been so angry that Princess Celestia would pawn off her problems on me, and you said it was because she was testing to see if I'd be a good princess at first, and to see how good a job I'd do with ruling the kingdom later, and I laughed and laughed?
"Yes..." started Starlight Glimmer slowly.
"Well, I just wanted to say congratulations ahead of time and to get preening lessons from Rainbow Dash when you have a chance because here's your new student and good luck!"
There was a flash of purple, and Twilight Sparkle was gone. There was, however, a creature remaining in her place.
Starlight took a cautious sip of her cocoa, let out her breath, and made her best attempt at a smile. "Welcome to our school?"
MaxTheBlack has a wonderful chapter on the advantages of proper rest. I grabbed my can of spray paint to add a little something
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/445461/14/your-family-and-you/chapter-13-to-see-if-i-still-feel
Rx - The Big Hairy Creature Living in the Library
For: Sleeping disorder
Administer one purple alicorn at bedtime (topical) as needed. Caution: Do not take with alcohol. Unexpected results may occur if other female creatures are applied at the same time. Use only as directed.
Signed: Doctor Luna
Alex has a wonderful take on our two favorite nitwits, Starlight and Trixle as they try to find a way to get rid of a huge pile of illicit fireworks. I had to light a fuse.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/407904/trixies-back-alley-at-midnight-firework-shop
Trixie and Starlight remained seated next to each other when the first puffs of sparks and smoke billowed over Canterlot. After all, they had their campfire nearby, with toasted marshmallows within easy reach, and a comfortable wagon with which to make their escape if needed. It was fairly obvious just where the fireworks had been procured, particularly since Fluttershy's demonstration last night, which required a great deal of proactive cover-up and a few memory spells from the two of them to avoid prison. This display of fireworks over the nation's capitol...
"The fireworks manufacturer really managed to get the colors right," mused Trixie. "Perhaps, before we flee the country for Zebrica, we should pick up a variety pack. You know, just in case we need to raise some money when we get there."
"If we're going to blame Boom Boom for the disaster, it really doesn't look good for us to be his best customer," said Starlight. "Perhaps when the furor dies down and he corrects the labels."
They watched the distant gyrating columns of sparks and animated exploding shapes for a time before Trixie asked, "What needed correcting on the label?"
Starlight closed her eyes, pressed a hoof against her forehead, and let out a sigh. "Seriously? You work at a school, so you should have better spelling skills. They should have been labeled Explicit, not Illicit."
In Hairball, Mark gives a thoughtful and insightful view on why pegasi are like cats. I carry it to the logical (and messy) conclusion.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/452147/hairball
Yet one more thing that Alicorn Twilight has to get used to.
"Spike! Come down off that bookcase right now! I'm not dying, and my guts are not on the floor! It's just a hairball! Oh, stop pretending to throw up and just... Oh, you're not pretending. I better go get a mop."