"Hey trix, wake up. It's almost noon!"
"mrmph" I murmur, sliding out of sleep.
"Come on, wakey wakey, silly filly!"
I grumble, attempting to open my eyes to ascertain the source of sound. The light stabs my retinas and I immediately shut them, but my brief foray into vision allows me to deduce that Starlight Glimmer is in my wagon. Oh, right.
Last night happened.
Oh wow, I think, replaying our discussion in my head. Last night happened!
My new paramour's voice cuts my reverie short. "Come on, sleepy head, time to wake up!"
"Ugh. Please go away," I mumble. "Trixie is nursing a Great and Powerful Hangover."
"I can see that. Do you remember any of last night?"
"Trixie got really drunk and vulnerable and confessed her love for you and then we cuddled. Also you snore like a fucking hydra."
"Yeah, I figured that's why you left. Heh, sorry about that. I think my sinuses are messed up."
"And I think you're literally cursed. I don't understand how anypony can snore that loud."
"Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Twilight and I had to soundproof my room so the whole castle doesn't resonate!"
"Amazing is not the word I would use," I retort, attempting to open my eyes again and quickly regretting it. "But that would explain all the baffling."
"I think you mean acoustic foam, but yeah, that's why."
"Whatever. Nerd. But, um, did you mean everything you said last night? About me being your best friend and never abandoning me?" I brave the evil sunlight to squint at her expectantly.
Starlight reaches across my hammock to hug me. "Every bit of it. Did you mean everything you said about loving me?"
"Of course. Why do you think I got so drunk?"
A grimace. "Trixie, I think you could really benefit from therapy."
"And ruin my massively inflated ego and egregious narcissism? Perish the thought!"
Starlight shakes her head and laughs. "You never cease to amaze me. I don't understand how you can simultaneously be so self-aware but also so oblivious."
"Trixie is a mare of many talents," I reply, beaming.
She makes a show of rolling her eyes. "Riiiight. Well, anyway, I brought you water, eggs, and toast. And sunglasses."
"Awww, you didn't have to do that," I protest, slowly attempting to roll out of my hammock before deciding I will instead spend the rest of my days ensconced in its embrace. Fuck, I drank a lot.
"I know, but I chose to. You're worth it. Now come on, eat up so we can go tell Twilight we're dating and freak her out!"
In a flash I'm on my hooves. "I'm always down to freak out Twilight Sparkle," I reply proudly.
"Yeah, I know. It's kind of one of your defining character traits."
"Finally!"
"Finally?!" we shout in unison.
"Yeah, I've been waiting for one of you to make a move for months!"
"You knew we had crushes on each other?" I ask, nibbling my toast in Twilight's kitchen, sunglasses upon my bloodshot eyes.
Twilight scoffs. "I mean, duh! Neither of you is exactly what I'd call subtle. It was pretty obvious."
"Oh," we both say, blushing in unison. Starlight blushes more than me. The Stoic and Reticent Trixie does not wear her heart out on her sleeve. She is a mysterious enigma.
"Yeah, it wasn't hard to figure out. It took all my willpower not to meddle and to let things progress at their own pace. You know how I love friendshipping."
"Well, thank you, I appreciate your restraint," Starlight replies.
"Of course. A true, true friend helps a friend in need, and sometimes the best way to help is to take a hooves-off approach. Although, I do hope you'll answer one question for me. Trixie, you said you told Starlight you loved her first, right?"
"Indeed. The Impassioned and Highly Emotive Trixie spilled her heart out in splendidly romantic fashion!"
The two mares stare at me. "What? Trixie retracts her previous claim of stoicism. I am consistently capriciously contradictory!"
Starlight rolls her eyes, chuckling, while Twilight simply shrugs. "Huh, well, looks like I owe Cadance 20 bits!"
"You were betting on us?" Starlight my girlfriend asks, incredulously.
Twilight rubs her neck sheepishly. "Look, castle life can get... monotonous. Cadance and I have a few different running bets to liven things up."
Unannounced, Tempest Shadow trots into the castle's kitchen, a sleep mask still dangling from her neck. "Morning Twilight. Morning Starlight. Morning...weird narcissistic blue horse."
Ignoring the tragedy of Tempest being unfamiliar with my Great and Powerfulness, my eyes light up. "Wait, are you two?!" I gesture excitedly between Twilight and Tempest.
Sparkle's eyes dilate. "Not a word!" she growls. "I do NOT need the tabloids to find out I've been sleeping with Equestria's former number one enemy!"
Tempest pops her head back in. "Awwww, you thought I was a bigger threat than the Storm King? I'm flattered!"
Twilight facehoofs. Starlight and I glance at each other and grin deviously.
"Hey, Trixie, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I don't know," I reply. "What are you thinking, best friend and lover?"
"I'm thinking we have some Great and Powerful Blackmail Information now."
And that's why Twilight copyedits my promotional material and gives me free magic lessons.
