Laughter
The room echoed with laughter.
Starlight was at her desk, unable to compose herself as she laughed about what transpired between you and Pinkie. She was just having a grand old time finding the whole thing amusing as you sat there, wrapped in a big blanket, still damp from falling into the fountain, and grumbling about the whole thing. Not even the moat around it, but the damn fountain. When Pinkie tripped, her spinning, you could swear, was going to send you back in time. Never mind being launched right into the damn water. And despite this, and the aftermath, Starlight laughed.
“...And then the singing! ‘I want to be the very best, like no one ever was!’” Starlight nearly fell over on that one. “I never even heard you sing before! That was so bad, Anon.”
Your eye twitched as you sunk your head further into the blanket, looking at her with a grumpy stare. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. It wasn’t that funny.”
“Oh come on, Anon, it’s hilarious. You’ve been here long enough to know how Pinkie is, and yet, you just had to go and prove some kind of point anyway. And then the fact she came to me when she thought you were possessed. Pffft, come on, how could I not laugh?” Starlight said, still giggling.
“Geez, Starlight. Look, if you knew how fast she spun, you’d know why I lost my grip there. Discord has spun me pretty damn hard, like a damn top, and it wasn’t even that bad. Also, plus, I could have drowned. Hmph, I thought we were supposed to be equals, and yet you’re just laughing at me as if I was a clown.” D-dammit, it wasn’t that funny.
“Ok, one, considering how hard your head seems to be, you being able to be confused like that is pretty funny to see. Two, again, Pinkie Pie. And three, you were singing some song about catching something called ‘Pokemon’. Anon, you were practically doing a whole silly little dance number. Considering it's you, there was no way I wasn’t going to find it funny. But if you want me to take it seriously...” Starlight stops for a moment, then suddenly cracks a smile as she goofily says. “Maybe we should see if Twilight has a ‘ghost checking’ machine somewhere.” She said before going into another laughing fit.
DAMMIT! You hop out of the blanket and climb onto her desk, looking at her with anger, your face red. “What about me nearly drowning, huh?!”
Starlight stopped for a moment, startled. She then rolled her eyes, grabbed you by the scruff with her magic, and wrapped the blanket around you as she plopped you back on the couch. “Anon, you fell into the fountain and, according to Pinkie Pie, immediately burst back out, into song. I highly doubt you were even close to drowning if you were able to sing like you did.”
“Oh yeah?!” You burst out of the blanket once again and pointed at Starlight. You just pointed, that was it.
Starlight merely stared at you for a moment, then gave you a sly look. “Yeah?”
You were silent for a moment, then began to wrap yourself back in your blanket as you let out a tiny sneeze. “Y-yeah…”
Starlight let out a small triumphant titter as she walked out from behind her desk and came up in front of you to pet you as she made sure you were nice and snug in the blanket. “Yeah. Just relax, Anon, ok? You’re going to catch a cold if you keep that up. By the way, Rarity told me what happened with you and Applejack. She wanted me to make sure you were actually ok. I already know you are, and all I can really tell you is to be careful with that whole ‘innocent colt’ routine. Some of us know who you really are.”
Hmph, even then, Applejack deserved the humiliation. “I know that. But Applejack accused me for no reason. You may think she had a reason, but she really had none. I did everything fair and square and she wanted to be all pissy because of how she got stuck in one of our ‘Ogres and Oubliettes’ sessions.”
“I know she didn’t have a reason, I already knew about the safe before now, so you couldn’t have cheated if what you said about your other charge was true. And if you were going to cheat, you would have had that needle. Trust me, the fact Applejack laid onto you without evidence isn’t something I think is ok. Just the same, garnering sympathy like that just to make things worse isn’t something you should do either. And before you jump on my case about mentioning that, let me reiterate that what Applejack did was not ok. Considering how well you did in her class and how well you seemed to listen in Rarity's, I can actually say I'm proud of you..”
Hn, guess you really couldn’t argue that. As long as Starlight acknowledged you were mostly doing the right thing, then everything was ok. “Alright, alright. As long as it’s understood I have been doing good. Actually, aside from this, and what happened with Rainbow, everything has been going fine so far. I doubt Aunt Fluttershy’s class is going to give me any trouble.”
“Rainbow Dash? Something happened?” Starlight asked as she returned to her desk. “Huh… Let me take a guess, did it have to do with the newly renovated stadium?”
You nod. “Yep. She spazzed because it didn’t have everything she wanted.”
Starlight chuckled at that. “Well of course, if it had everything she wanted we’d blow through the whole school budget just maintaining it. In fact…” Starlight opened her desk and put some papers on top of it. It seemed to be Rainbow’s list of wanted renovations, with another paper seemingly being the cost of said renovations, with estimated monthly maintenance bills attached “I thought it’d be fun to count up the bits needed to make it all happen. Take a look.” She says as she uses her magic to have the papers hover in front of you.
You just give it a stare. Was seven hundred bits a month a lot? And to get everything set up was nearly three thousand. You know everything was usually very low cost in Ponyville, so you had no idea how much anything like this really cost, especially for infrastructure. It was something Starlight was already able to notice from your expressions.
She sighed and pulled the papers back. “It’s a lot, Anon. Discord has spoiled you, I swear. You have no idea the value of anything, do you?”
“I know a bundle of apples are like two bits.” You say, until you realized she called you spoiled. “Hey! I know how much stuff cost. I pay for a lot of stuff all the time!”
“Yeah, with the money your Dad has given you. But that’s fine, it’s fine. Considering for all the time you’ve been in Equestria that Ponyville has been where you’ve been for most of it, that’s to be expected.” Starlight said as she relaxed in her seat. “Let’s not get into a fight about it. So, moving on…” She stops to look at you to make sure you were on the same page with her.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m not gonna start something with you, Starlight.” Dammit, why did she have to look at you like that. “But how about you stop teasing me, huh? Already been through enough today, I don’t need you to get up on my grill.”
“Sorry, Anon.” Starlight said with a sigh. “I had my fun, so let’s get serious. So, made any new friends?”
“Sorta, I met most of them before. I guess Sandbar is a new friend. But Smolder, Cozy, Yona, Ocellus, Gallus, and Silverstream are friends I already met. Seven total, not bad, eh?” You say with a grin.
“Yeah, actually, that isn’t bad.” Starlight says with a dark chuckle as she claps her hooves together. “Neighsay can’t do shit to us. I mean, you yourself can say they’re all on the level, right?”
Oh boy… “Yeah, number one, I can say they’re all really nice and friendly. Some being super nice and friendly. So yeah, Neighsay can’t say anything about it.”
“Awesome! But, wait, what’s number two then?” Starlight asked, confused.
“The very word that came out of your mouth just then.” You say as you find it hard to resist grinning.
“The word that came out of my mouth?” Starlight said as she pondered on that, trying to figure out how that could be number two. Then her eyes went wide when she realized it. “Dammit! I used a human curse ag-! DAMMIT! I MEAN DARNIT! UGH!” Starlight slams her face onto her desk as she groans hard. “I can’t be saying those kinds of things in front of the students. I gotta get out of this habit.”
“Dunno, you’re pretty cute when you get all flustered over it.” You say, giving her a cool grin before the blanket is suddenly pulled over your face.
“That’s not funny, Anon. This is a serious job.” Starlight says as she raises her head, staring at you, annoyed.
You flip the top of the blanket back, returning Starlight’s gaze with a puffed up one of annoyance. “Hey! I can poke fun too, y’know? Besides, what I said isn’t wrong.” You say as you try to point your hooves as guns… But have no fingers to make the clicky noises from your mouth make sense. Whatever, it still counts.
Starlight went silent for a moment, raised her hoof and shook it as she grimaced to herself. “Alright, that’s true, that’s fair. But still, I have to take my job seriously, k?”
“Alright, but to be fair, this is more of a social visit than you doing your job, right?” You say with another grin, only for the blanket to be thrown over your face again. You only chuckle this time, as Starlight lets one out of her own soon after.
“You’re a wise guy sometimes, Anon, I swear. But, with that out of the way…” Starlight takes a moment, relaxes, and tenses just a bit with her next words. “So, Chrysalis, anything new?”
You almost tensed there. But considering it seems Starlight was assuming you could have seen Chrysalis before school, then maybe… “Actually, yeah.”
“Yeah?” Starlight said, suddenly becoming a little fearful. “So, what’s new then?”
“Actually, if you’re worried it’s about her plans against Twilight, then no worries, that’s not what’s new.” You say.
“Huh? Then what?” Starlight asked, confused and curious.
“She said she felt some kind of disturbance in the Everfree Forest. Part of me thinks it’s nothing. But considering she has nothing to lose by mentioning it, it could also be something worth checking out. Y’know, to make sure it’s nothing crazy.” You say, rather calmly.
“Or she’s trying to lure you away to remove the chaotic equation to her plan. Kind of pointless, really, there’s no way she’s getting close to Twilight.” Starlight said, completely untrusting of Chrysalis.
“I dunno, it could be true. If it’s one thing I can confirm, Chrysalis won’t share Equestria with anypony, and she especially won’t let anyone take down Twilight before she gets her chance. Given Equestria’s track record, it might be worth looking into, y’know?” Again, considering this could be a ‘season boss’, it’d just be safer to look into it.
“That’s fair, it could be that too. Hmmmnnn…” Starlight began to think, coming out from behind her desk once more to pace up and down the room. “I could look into it myself. I could ask Maud to help me out so I’m not in there by myself. Can’t bring Trixie though, for obvious reasons.”
Wait.. “You’re friends with Maud?”
“Yeah, why?” Starlight asked.
Hm, you’d think you’d remember something like that. Then again, it was hard to remember every little detail, specially since you couldn’t remember those two ever hanging out. “Nothing. But why you two, exactly? Not knocking on your investigative skills or anything, but I know somepony who might be better for the job.” That somepony being Bonbon, of course.
“Well, because I’m very skilled at magic, and could get us out of any hairy situation. And Maud because her attention to detail is pretty much unmatched. Though, that is mostly towards rocks, she is still very perceptive. But, if you want to ask your friend to join us, I don’t mind, as long as he or she isn’t going to be a liability.” Starlight explains.
“Er…” Well, now you couldn’t just name Bonbon, secrets and all. “No, actually, ok. I see what you mean. Are you two going to be ok in that forest though?”
“We’ll be fine. We’ll make sure we’re properly geared up before we go check things out. But, what about your friend?” Starlight asked.
“Oh, yeah. Well, like I said, I see what you mean, so she isn’t exactly the best candidate. But then, er, if you both are going to check things out, do you even know what you’re looking for?” You ask.
“Do you?” Starlight asks back.
Nope… “Yeah, no.”
“Alright then, and given we’ve been in Equestria longer, I think we’re qualified enough to know if anything is wrong. All I’m expecting from you is to make sure you're ready at all times. And, speaking of ready, a small regiment of guards should be arriving from Canterlot and the Crystal Empire in a few days. Twilight isn’t looking forward to it, but more security is more security. Don’t worry, they’ll be instructed not to try to destroy Chrysalis or even apprehend her. All we have to do is stop her, right?” Starlight asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.” You say as you look upon your shackles. “All you gotta do is foil her plan and the curse is cancelled out.”
“Then I doubt, as long as everypony stays alert, we’re not going to have a problem.” Starlight says as she winks towards you. “You can count on us, Anon. Although…” Starlight begins to wonder about something. “You’re really really sure she’s planning on reforming?”
You nod. “I’m sure, she seems pretty ready to give up if things go sour.” You weren’t actually sure, but you were pretty sure. You were damned pretty sure.
“Well, ok then, nooooo problem. So, feeling better?” Starlight asked as she noticed you seemed pretty ok now, your sour mood gone.
“Yeah, I’m good.” You say as you throw off the blanket. “Guessing my Aunt’s class is starting now? Hrn, kinda feel bad about missing Pinkie’s class. Hope she doesn’t think less of me after that joke.”
“You’ll be fine, you know how she is.” Starlight says as she reassures you.
“Yeah, Pinkie is pretty forgiving. Uh, I guess I’ll be on my way then. But er, Starlight, can I ask you a question?” You needed to leave on something. One more tease, simply because her reaction to human stuff is always a delight.
“What is it?” Starlight asked.
“Have you fucked Trixie yet?” You ask her, giving her a cool grin.
“Dunno, have you fucked a cactus yet?” Starlight says back to you, exchanging your cool grin with one of her own.
G-Gyah?! “What in the?! What?!”
“I was pretty clear, wasn’t I? Yeah…” Starlight snickers as she balances an ink bottle on her hoof, staring at it with a smirk and half lidded eyes. “You can only saturate your teasing so much before it becomes predictable, Anon. Although, if you want, I can ask Zecora about some voodoo magic…” Starlight jumped up on her desk and pointed at you with a dominating look. “...So you can go fuck yourself! HAHA!” She cackled.
“Ooooooh, what does ‘Fuck yourself’ mean? Is that a cool hero maneuver?” Came a cute bubbling voice.
Both you and Starlight jump in surprise when you both peek back at the door. OH SHIT! IT WAS SILVERSTREAM!
“Er, ye- I MEAN NO! FORGET WE SAID ANYTHING!” You yell out as you fall back.
“Forget?” Silverstream asked as she sat down, rubbing her head before giggling. “It’s going to be hard to forget after just hearing it.”
Starlight’s eye was twitching as she fell back on her chair, she was internally cursing herself for once again cursing with human words. She had to think of something, ANYTHING, to make this go away. “Er, actually. It’s my nickname for Anon, since we’re friends!”
“WHAT?!” You say as you look back at Starlight. What was the fuck was she talking about?!
“That’s a nickname? That’s weird. Never heard of ‘Yourself’ as part of a nickname. Wow, I’ve been underwater for waaaay too long, I’m missing out on so many cool ways to nickname a friend!” Silverstream said, confused.
“Silverstre-” But before you could say anything, Starlight begins to talk over you, frantically.
“No, no! ‘Yourself’ isn’t part of it. Er, you see, I was just saying, er. ‘Fuck’, you need to go see for yourself.” Starlight said with a crazed chuckle.
“But I didn’t hear the ‘You nee-” But Silverstream is quickly cut off as Starlight screams out.
“THAT’S WHAT I SAID! Er! Ahrm, I mean. Well, er, you came in while I was privately counselling Anon. Silverstream, you know you’re supposed to knock before coming into my office, right?” Starlight said, nervous, her body twitching in fear and anxiety.
“Ooooh, right. I guess I got curious what all the yelling was about. Sorry. Is everything o- Nope, I can’t ask that. Private talk, right?” Silverstream asked Starlight.
“Yes, YES! I mean, yes. D-did you need anything else?” Starlight asked, hoping for a ‘no’.
“Nope, just going to my next class! Hey, Anon, your next class is your Aunt’s, right?” Silverstream asked, her excitement building.
“Yeah, wh-GYAH!” You jump back the moment Silverstream gets all excited and giddy.
“YEAH! Oooooohhh! I can’t wait! I bet there are so many secrets to learn about being kind between the two of you that my head could just explode trying to learn it all!” Silverstream said, still bouncing up and down with energy.
That was… Surprisingly morbid of her to say, given the context. “Y-yeah, er. Um, can’t wait! C-can I get another minute with Counselor Starlight, please?”
“Oh, sure! I’ll see you at class, Anon!” Silverstream said as she waved to you, then flew off in a zig zag as she silently repeated to herself how awesome class was going to be.
You close the door and look to Starlight, flustered, flabbergasted. “What the fuck was that?!”
“I dunno! I had to come up with something! I can’t have them repeating those kinds of words, learning about them, spreading it around. You know why!” Starlight said, on edge about the whole thing.
“Yeah, but why does my name have to be ‘Fuck’?!” Like, christ, why?!
“Because you had to be the one to try to get one on me! It’s not my fault! You should have just walked off!” Starlight bellowed back at you.
“Dammit, I… I… Fuck... Dammit, you shouldn’t have tried to fight back!” You yell back at her.
“Oh really?! So you think I’m supposed to be surprised and easy all the time?!” Starlight barks back at you.
“Yesssssirrrnooo? Er…” Oh boy…
“I see… Well, if you fee-OH NO! TWILIGHT?!” Starlight said in a sudden panic.
“WHAT?!” You look back, only to see nothing. You suddenly feel a magical kick on your rear as you roll through Starlight’s door and smash into the wall on the other side of the hallway. Your back hits the wall and you slide down along your face. You just lay there for a moment, even as students pass by, wondering what you were doing. “...I deserved that.”