The problem with dying is that it’s virtually indistinguishable from falling asleep.
My first sergeant told me that back in Neighami. He’d been talking about the few times he’d taken somepony to the hospital after they had an accident. Said their little hearts stopped for a few minutes, then started right up again. All they would ever remember was drifting off to a fitful sleep, a peace they’d never felt since the time they were fillies or colts.
So I’d hope you can understand why I said I died when I started this story. It felt just like that, the brief moment of pain before a deep sleep. The only good sleep I thought I’d ever get, and it was coming forty years ahead of schedule.
You can imagine my disappointment when I woke up. For a moment I thought I was in a different room, pushed into some other wing of the hospital. Yet the unmistakable black marks of a magic battle covered the floor I could just make out at the foot of my bed. The disarray once filling the room now seemed to be clear, swept away by some poor underpaid nurse who would never understand the fate of the world had been decided here.
“Wakey-wakey, Police Lady!” a high-pitched voice called out. I turned and saw Zephyr Breeze looking at me. He sat up in his bed now, a thin level of scruff covering his chin and hair thrown into the closest thing to a beehive it could be.
“Mr. Breeze,” I said. “Soul returned, I assume?”
“You assumed correct! That Alabaster or whatever he called himself couldn’t keep me down to save his life.”
“And I’m sure you thanked all the responsible parties for making you better?”
“Of course! I may be a lean, mean, ancient-warlord-fighting machine, but I do know how to express a little bit of gratitude.”
“Then I recommend dishing it out now,” a voice said from the door. I turned to see Twilight Sparkle standing there, mane flowing as gently as ever. “Because your roommate’s the only reason we got your soul back.”
I gave a sharp chuckle. “And all it cost was a few hours of consciousness. Do I get a Royal Guard pension for pulling that stunt?”
“Oh please,” Zephyr groaned. “I’ve been with the Royal Guards before, and their dental is absolute rubbish.”
Twilight smiled. “The good news is both of you will be out of here by tomorrow. All the doctors have told me there are no signs of permanent damage from Alamon’s black magic. The better news is that Lieutenant Marewell here will be leaving as a captain, if Chief Driftwood takes my recommendation.”
“Well how about that?” I said. “Maybe now I can spend more nights behind a desk instead of chasing escaped warlords from ancient times.”
“That’s the funny thing about Ponyville. It’s either nothing but excitement or the dullest town this side of Equestria.” Twilight grinned. “I think that’s why I still love it here.”
I nodded. “I’m starting to see its charms. And I’m not talking about the magic of friendship.”
“Give it time,” Twilight laughed. “Speaking of which, a friend of yours is here to see you.” She stepped aside, revealing Jay to be standing right behind her. A bunch of flowers filled his hooves, crushed along the stems where he’d gripped it too hard.
My eyebrows arched. “Daisies, Jay? And here I thought you of all stallions would know how to ask a mare out.”
He chuckled, placing the flowers at the foot of the bed. “Might still be on the table. Depends on how gullible the pain meds are making you.”
I shook my head. “Sergeants are below my radar, anyway.” I looked back at Princess Twilight, her face in telltale amusement. “And you, Princess? You going back to Canterlot to get back to business?”
“Eventually,” she said. “For now, I’ve got a few friends I want to see while I’m in the area. Starlight and Sunburst are nice enough to open their home to me. Though I guess it’s still my castle, but that’s beside the point. The real point is that I’m sticking around for a few days. Maybe we’ll even cross paths again.”
“Maybe. Maybe.” A cloud filled my visage, and I glanced back over at Zephyr. “By the way, Zephyr, what were you and Sunburst arguing over to begin with? You know, back at the antique shop?”
“Oh!” Zephyr said, throwing his hooves in the air. “That egghead was getting bent all out of shape over the coloring of the amulet’s holder. Kept saying it was gold when it was clearly hazel sunshine!”
My face fell. “Really? You guys were arguing over color?”
“It’s the most important aspect!” Zephyr squealed. “You wouldn’t put mahogany as the same color as copper! Lives are decided by the hue!”
“Hoo, boy,” I sighed. "Guess we better ban all color-coding debates until we find all the other disappeared war criminals." Jay and Twilight shook their heads in amusement.
“Well, I need to get back to Central,” Jay said, trotting towards the door. “The paperwork for everything last night still isn’t halfway done.”
“I’ll help you when I’m out of here,” I called as he disappeared from view. The princess stood before me and nodded her head. It was a polite way of saying she’d said her piece and needed to hit the road.
“Thanks for your help, Princess,” I said.
She shook her head. “No, thank you, Lieutenant. Had you not told Starlight to contact me, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything in time. Alamon might’ve sucked the whole town dry before I could put a stop to him.” She gave a slight bow. “Ponyville and Equestria will always be in your debt, and you’re always welcome in my court.”
I bent my head as low as I could. It was the closest thing to a bow I could make in the bed. “I was just doing my job. Like it or not, Ponyville is my home now, and I made an oath to protect it to the best of my ability.”
“And you will keep doing a wonderful job.” Twilight turned around and began making her way toward the door.
“Oh, and Princess?” I called out. She stopped in her tracks and looked back at me. “What happened to Alamon?”
Twilight chuckled. “He won’t be a problem any longer. Let’s just say he’s getting all the attention he wanted somewhere far away from here.”