//------------------------------// // Chapter Seventy, A "‘Normal’" Day: Monday. // Story: Airship Mauled // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -A week later, Manehatten, one minute before midnight, Snickers- I lifted the heavy round thing with all my might, I heaved while flapping my wings to get it up on the edge. Once I did, I happily sighed. I now waited like great bond partner told me to. “Coo.” At exactly midnight, I push the green round thing slightly with my flippers and it started rolling. I spread my wings and took off after the ball dropped out of sight. -Big Apple (Manehatten), 3AM, ???- A loud thud woke me from my sleep, I lit my horn and looked at the alarm clock. I knew I had heard something, but I didn’t know what. I looked out the window and balcony and glanced in every direction, but I didn’t see anything. I muttered something angrily at the gods, all of them, for bothering me at this ungodly hour. After going to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. Dull black mane, horn poking out of said mane, dull black tail, dark red fur, cutie mark of a circle of black and red checkered patterns. I often had nightmares of becoming an all-powerful alicorn and loud noises had me on edge, especially since I had reasons to be on edge. Yep, I am still good old Wheel Twist… no wings or being left to a horrible fate for me. Just another day in Manehatten. Nobody was out to get me, I was going to be okay and things were going to be fine. I just needed a little more sleep. I crawled into bed and looked at my alarm clock and pulled the covers up to my neck. Before I closed my eyes, I glanced about the room in a paranoid fashion. I thought I saw the shadow of a cats head and shivered. It was likely just my imagination. -Across the street, construction site, unfinished building, seventh floor, Fizzle- I slugged a mare across the face with a double hoofed hammer blow knocking her out. Looking to see how Jade was doing, she was in the middle of yanking a pegasus out of the air with her yo-yo. She grappled them to the ground and started punching their temple repeatedly. “Be careful Fizzy, we need to make sure nobody bothers my plans without attracting too much attention!” Well that was pretty hard to do Jade, because we apparently came across a bunch of mob ponies that don’t like us being all up in their business. Well we were here first, so they were technically all up in our business. “Why are all of you guys even holding a meeting on the seventh floor of a building that doesn’t have any walls?!” I shouted as slammed a unicorn back first into a girder. “Anything with wings could fly by and see you!” “Let’s be honest here toots, no pony would expect us to be doing deals at night on a building in the middle of being constructed, you dig?” My left hoof met his face in a fairly bloody display of my militaristic training and toned muscles. “Don’t call me toots, only those in my herd can do that!” I growled as I hit the fedora wearing stallion again. That knocked him out. “Fizzy, please try to beat them up a little more quietly!” Jade shouted, not even bothering with being quiet in the slightest herself. “Also, can I get a little help here toots?!” “Do you seriously want to sleep on a couch without Maries or me for the rest of the year Jaded?!” I rolled my eyes and looked in Jade’s direction as she was struggling with keeping an earth pony in a sleeper hold and was barely fending off two others with her legs. “Also, isn’t it a bit hypocritical when you’re doing a lot of shouting?!” “Maybe, I think we’re both just being loud out of the audacity of it now!” The earth pony Jade held eventually went limp and she made the winged pony back off with a quick launch of her yo-yo. I lit my horn and hit a unicorn with a blast of lightning before they could get Jade and leapt forward to help my beloved kitty with three more ponies. -A few hours later, apartment, Wheel Twist- I heard the ringing of my alarm clock, I slapped a hoof down on it. Whoever those noisy jerks were, it didn’t help me get much too more sleep. I grumbled out several choice words about this morning and went to use the bathroom, take a shower and then would start out my day right with a nice quiet breakfast. The shower went perfectly fine if a little cold. When I opened the fridge, I blinked in confusion at what I saw inside. “Sorry! We emptied your fridge…” I just stared at the two grey winged ponies in my refrigerator. One had a red mane, looked to be dyed, and the other hade a blonde one. One was clearly wall eyed and the other was cross eyed. The blonde one had spoken and was in the middle of eating a muffin. “Beware the signs, for they always hunt in grapes and eat the intellectual risen yeast!” The other one was far less informative and much weirder. She seemed to be slightly unhinged. I didn’t know who these two were or how they got into my apartment to eat all my food, but I was definitely spooked and my paranoia was ramping up quickly. Slowly closing the refrigerator door and making no sudden movements, worried the two strangers would attack me, I quickly decided to go out and eat. I wasn’t about to attack them if they were hired ninjas, I would also need a new apartment if they were out to get me. -Still at the apartment- “See, he didn’t mind in the slightest Ditzy! He certainly seemed like a nice guy to me.” Derpy said in a jovial manner. “Now, do you remember what packages we have to deliver today?” “Left… what was the olive branch being jammed into the kumquat of inadequacy again?” Ditzy asked. “Typing is a negative on the traits alone, if he were a godhood he would be horribly unsuited for the narrative in progress when in terms of a fruit of Saddle Arabian tastes.” “It’s off the eastern street from the city’s most famous thoroughfare, you can’t possibly miss it! My package is going to be easier since I can just pick it up from the local bakery and deliver it to where it needs to be this evening. Yours is actually time sensitive though.” Derpy responded, then she decided to ask something of her friend Ditzy. “Even if he isn’t your type Ditzy, do you think he’ll be able to avoid the ‘keep left’ signs? It’s almost like someone’s been breeding them for something very nefarious or evil, so long as you don’t damage them and destroy them completely they are relatively harmless if annoyingly persistent in getting you to stay to their left.” “The keep right ones could be an easier spoken vernacular in terms of infectious problems.” Said a smiling Ditzy. “Yeah, this city has fallen on hard times when living eldritch directional signs randomly start attacking ponies.” Derpy grumbled. “It’s why I prefer to live in Ponyville. Yes, before you say anything Ditzy, I really do like Time Turner and everyone knows Ponyville is crazy. At least the things that happen there are more fun than dangerous.” -Streets of Manehatten, Wheel Twist- It was another day in this dark depressing world, even if the sun was shining and ponies everywhere were bright eyed and bushy tailed. “I really don’t know what makes me keep wanting to come back here Vinyl, it has none of the respect and class that Canterlot does.” I ignored the two mares walking down the street, the mare with the tinted glasses looked familiar to me. It’ll probably come to me later. Now what to eat for breakfast? Hayburger has a decent breakfast menu if anything. I started to make my way there thinking of what to order when I came across someone who obviously came from Hayburger not to long ago. Only they were in the oddest situation I think I have ever seen in all my life. “Some pony help me with these nasty things!” It was an earth pony mare with long, hoof length, brown hair and turquoise colored fur, she was also wearing some odd necklace and her grey eyes were glaring fiercely at her aggressors. It was barely six thirty this morning and I was staring at the things currently attack her and trying to get at the hayburger on rye bread. She was fighting them off fairly well with her hooves, but the boxes seemed to be taking blunt force pretty well for some odd reason. Said boxes looked to be animated with rear pony legs sticking out the bottom of them and they were constantly bumping and jumping at the mare viciously. She held her sandwich above her and away from them, the boxes that all had the words ‘stay left’ written on them in big letters. The mare in question had several bruises on her and I glared at the boxes, just a bunch of a fillies and colts messing with the mare. I sent a blast of magic at one of the boxes and watched as the top half of the box tore open and several white tentacles burst out. Said tentacles were apparently the same outer material as the rest of the boxy sign, it screeched loudly as it turned towards me. It was here that I figured out something, mostly that these weren’t fillies and colts running around in boxes with blocky writing on them. It was apparently some monster in the shape of a box with the words ‘stay left’ written on them and it charged me while the other continued to attack the mare by bumping into her aggressively. I blasted the box with a ball of fire from my horn. If a unicorn was going to learn offensive magic for self-defense, then hitting something with fire was the way to go… unless it was immune to fire or magic. The exceedingly odd beast exploded into a shower of wood, cardboard and burnt fleshy tentacles. Ugh, whatever god created these things was going to near or at the top of my list of things I disliked now. Several quick blasts of fire and the earth pony smashing them, after we were battered and bruised we paused to caught our breaths as we calmly dealt with the last one. “That… wait where’s my sandwich?” We turned and saw one last evil ‘stay left’ sign box running away with a sandwich slowly sinking into the material on top of it. “Never mind.” The mare flipped her mane, readjusted her odd necklace and started to walk off with an angry look in her eyes. “Wait! What’s your name? I’m Wheel Twist.” I could use some help if someone was out to get me today. “Guess I can tell you, I’m Stochastic Labor.” The mare’s eyes darted about as she started stomping away in anger, she looked about as paranoid as I did. “Now don’t bother me, I’ve got better things to do than talk to another stallion that thinks with his dangly bits.” -Two minutes later, Hayburger Supreme Manehatten Branch- My day was starting out badly and I probably should have called the boys in to help me, but I didn’t think I was in serious trouble yet. I walked up to the counter and saw an odd sight in the kitchen. A kitsune, a dragon and… was that a fire breathing goat?! Who let these guys cook food in a pony establishment? No... It was no business of mine, I looked to the pony at the counter for early morning. “I would like…” I started, before I rudely was cut off. It was going to be one of those days wasn’t it? “Wait your turn dude sir.” The register pony stated clearly, I blinked and looked about as there wasn’t even a single pony in front of me at all. “I don’t see anyone else…” He cut me off once again with a held up hoof and then pointed down at something. I looked to what his hoof was pointing at. What I had first assumed was some sort of foals meal toy was actually a turtle with a bit bag looking at the menu items. “Seriously?! You’re serving that!” I received a fairly angry glare from the turtle who waved a flipper at me. “Coo!” The turtle shouted. “The little miss is right dude, she is a paying customer sir.” The register pony stated dutifully. “Please, wait for your turn.” I grumbled to myself quietly and watched as the turtle turn back to the register pony all smiles. “Coo, hiss, coo hiss, coo!” The turtle finally stated after a bit and the register pony wrote something down. “Would you like hay fries with that?” The register pony saw the turtle nod eagerly and made several intricate gestures with her flippers. “To go order on the hay fries? We’ll make them after you’re done with your meal so you can carry them to your friends okay?” I tune them out and when I blinked the turtle was no long there. “Hey dude, welcome to the Hayburger, home of the hayburger, may I take your order?” Ugh, did the register pony really have to say that? “Yes, it my honor to state that to every pony! Also sorry about reading your mind, it helps me deal with all kinds of foreigners that come through here. I’m Toasty Brain by the way. Making toasted bread is a special talent of mine.” “Don’t care, I’m hungry.” The register pony was a very odd winged pony with dreadlocks and the brown eyes, but I seriously doubted he could actually read my mind. “I’ll have a Double hayburger meal on rye, extra crispy. Spice on the hay fries.” “Whatever you choose to believe, that’s on you.” The pony told me with smile. “One number three, smart butt, double up on the sun baking and napalm the potato patch! Your order will be finished soon sir.” -At this time, Maria- “Well we don’t know who the target is, but today is looking good as far as fast food is concerned.” I was missing my sisters, but I did want to spend some time as my own being for a while. Mara and Marie would be okay a Sabre Sniger for a while. I loosed a jet of controlled flames from my mouth and made the hay patty a little crispier then normal. “Cooking fast food this way is actually kind of fun. I don’t think any of us will ever beat matriarch Kuril, much less a pony gifted at this kind of thing.” “Yes, I too find particular enjoyment in working with food!” As usual Flamberge was loud and jolly, he turned his gaze to his kitsune girlfriend to see she was having fun with making the desserts using her magical flames. “Restaurant is fun, though fast food is quite common, do not eat often.” Sweetcakes fanned her flames and watched as the small apple pies she had folded over with her plastic covered paws started to bulge slightly and emit a wondrously delicious smell. “So we’re just supposed to work efficiently?” I wondered, how exactly did we currently factor into Jade’s unexplained plan?