Spitfire and Wasp

by The FraudulentBrit

The Two Captains

“Oh for Celestia’s sake.” Spitfire groaned as she struggled to realize that the pony standing before her was Black Adder. She had already had enough of him threatening Soarin and making a fool of her, and now she was forced to tolerate his presence again. “What are you doing here?” She asked.

“I’m coming back from my lunch break.” Black Adder dead panned as he stepped forward towards Spitfire. As he closed the distance until he was muzzle to muzzle with her, he continued, “And I would very much like to enter my office ma’am.” Spitfire groaned as she stepped out of the way, allowing Black Adder to enter his office. The secretary then said, “As you can see Mr. Adder, one of the Wonderbolts has decided to take in a foster foal.”

“Really?” Black Adder asked, his eyes widening in curiousity. As he made his way towards his desk, he began to speak again, “Because if I may Captain, you have a reputation of being as cuddly and friendly as an impudent porcupine.” He then shot Spitfire a cheeky smile.

“Very funny.” Spitfire sarcastically replied. She then turned to ask the assistant something, but found that she had disappeared. This meant that she was alone with one of the most obnoxious ponies she had ever met.

“You were going to ask if there were any other ponies you could talk to, weren’t you?” Black Adder smugly asked. “Because when to famous or influential ponies taking in foals, I’m the only stallion for the job.”

Spitfire could only sigh as she replied, “Fine, let’s get this over with.” She then proceeded to enter Black Adder’s office. As she made her way to the chair in front of his desk, Black Adder asked, “So, I overheard you already have a foal in mind.”

“Yes.” Spitfire answered. “Well, not exactly. “Really?” Black Adder asked as he pulled out a tray containing a pitcher of water and two glasses. As he poured the glasses with water, he asked, “I take it this means you have your eyes on something like a griffon or hippogriff?” Spitfire hesitated for a moment, nervously scratching the back of her neck. Black Adder noticed her nervousness and asked, “A changling?”

After a few more seconds, Spitfire answered, “A Halfling actually.” “A Halfling?” Black Adder asked, momentarily confused. He then continued, “What in the name of the Princess do you mean by….” Within a few seconds, he realized what she meant. He then asked, “Do you mean one of those creatures that attacked the Wonderbolts’ Derby?”

Spitfire hesitated for a moment before she began to explain. “You see, last night I ran into one of them, a small Halfling named Wasp. Unlike the others, he sounds and acts like he’s a little foal, and apparently he ran away from that dragon.” She then took one of the glasses of water and took a large gulp. “To be honest for a moment I thought I was making a big mistake.” As Black Adder took the other glass, he asked, “So what made you want to double down?” Spitfire took a deep breath and replied, “Last night I woke up to him having a nightmare.” Just saying this made her shudder. Black Adder asked, “A nightmare?” “Yeah.” Spitfire answered. “Wasp didn’t tell me exactly what it was, but he was in tears begging me not to send him back to Megaton.”

After taking a moment to compose herself, Spitfire steeled herself and began to speak again. “Look, that monster treated him horribly, and right now the only other ponies he’s met have either threatened him or still see him as some kind of freak.” Black Adder simply let Spitfire’s words sink in, not letting any emotion show. After a few more moments, Black Adder asked, “Where is he now?”

Spitfire answered, “He’s with High Winds. I didn’t want Wasp having to deal with this kind of interrogation or skepticism.” Black Adder replied, “Hardly the worst choice. After all, High Winds is a familiar name around here, and she has a track record almost as clean as a mint condition bar of soap.” He then rose from his seat and said, “So, what are standing we around like gaggle of geese for?” “Huh?” Spitfire asked. Black Adder sighed and explained, “You’re going to take me to Wasp so I can meet him. After all, I need to be familiar with him if I’m going to be his social worker.” He then shot Spitfire a smug yet warm look. Spitfire was a bit hesitant, as she still didn’t entirely trust Black Adder, but she knew that right now, he was her best chance of keeping Wasp, so she simply sighed as she said, “Ok. Follow me.”

“Alright every-pony!” Black Adder enthusiastically called out as he pulled his olive-khaki cap off of the coat rack and continued. “Once more into the fray as we go to fight the huns!” Spitfire couldn’t help but let out a gentle laugh as she said, “Follow me.”

“Wasp doesn’t get it.” Wasp said to High Winds. He had spent the last two and a half hours probing her and Tailwind with question after question, ranging from how clouds were made to what other kinds of ponies were like. As much as his curiousity was endearing, High Winds could only take so much of his probing (as well as his long, drawn out voice) and was starting to lose her patience.

“For the last time…” High Winds began. “Pegasi have wings, unicorns have horns, Alicorns have both, and earth ponies don’t have either.” She now found herself taking a deep breath, relieved that she had made her point as clear as possible.

Wasp then began to speak again. “Fire Spitter says she is Wonderbolt, but Wasp saw picture and pony in picture didn’t look like her. Pony in picture was blue with yellow stripes. She also says you are Wonderbolt, but you don’t look like pony in picture either.”

High Winds slammed her head against the wall in annoyance. “Ugh!” She groaned. “I can’t take this right now!” Wasp backed away in fear as Tailwind rushed over to her wife. “Honey, calm down!” She cried to High Winds. “You’re scaring Wasp!” High Winds realized that she had been making a scene, especially now that she noticed Wasp was cowering and wimpering. She made her way over to the frightened Halfling and apologized. “I’m sorry for losing my temper.” She gently rested her hoof under his chin and continued, “Guess I’m still worn out from yesterday.”

The mere mention of the previous day was enough to make Wasp look away in shame. “Wasp is sorry he was at fancy race yesterday.” High Winds then reassured him, “That wasn’t your fault. It was that mean dragon that made you attack.” “Wasp knows.” The young Halfling sighed. “Wasp just happy he doesn’t have to listen to dragon butt anymore.” Both High Winds and Tailwind found themselves choking back laughter at the sudden use of such a dirty term.

It was at this moment that the small group heard the sound of a door opening, followed by a filly’s voice calling out, “Mommy! We’re home.” Before either High Winds, Tailwind, or Wasp could react, two Pegasus fillies, one red with a blue mane in a ponytail and another green with red braided pigtails, entered the kitchen, only find their mothers with a weird insect like creature. Being face to face with such an odd being, they did the only thing one would expect.

They both let out terrifying screams.

The green filly shouted, “Mommy! It’s one of the monsters!” Wasp, for his part, screamed in fear as he tried to fly away, only to trip on the kitchen table and crash into the cloud floor. Tailwind managed to make her way to her daughters and began to plead to them. “Girls, I need you to calm down.” Both fillies managed to partially calm down, no longer shouting but breathing heavily as Wasp managed to get back to his feet.

“Girls…” Tailwind began. “This is Wasp, and he’s going to be living with Spitfire.” The red filly snuck a glance at Wasp and asked, “But isn’t he one of those freaks that attacked mom at the Derby yesterday?” It was at that moment that Wasp started to growl angrily. “What did filly call Wasp?” He angrily asked, his voice deepening and becoming more guttural. As the two fillies began to back down, High Winds walked up to Wasp and demanded, “Wasp, calm down right now!”

Wasp realized he was being chastised and immediately backed down, shrinking into himself and raising his arms and wings to shield himself. He then gulped and began to speak. “Wasp is sorry. But Wasp doesn’t like being called a freak.”

It was then that the green filly made her way up to the scared Halfling. Her foster sister tried to call out to her. “Pin Up, get back here.” The red filly whispered loudly. The green filly then walked up to Wasp and extended her hoof. “Hi. I’m Pin Up.” Wasp hesitated for a moment before he extended one of his arms and replied, “Wasp’s name is Wasp.” Pin Up then apologized to the Halfling. “Sorry for screaming. I was scared for a moment for my mommies.” Wasp replied, “Wasp thinks he understands. Wasp wouldn’t know what to do without Fire Spitter.” “You mean Spitfire?” Pin Up asked. Wasp replied, “Yeah. Wasp has trouble with names.”

Pin Up then asked, “So, friends?” Wasp pondered for a moment before he replied, “Wasp never had friends before.” Pin Up then wrapped her hooves around the Halfling, an action that startled him for a moment before he reciprocated it as he replied, “Wasp likes having friends.”

The red filly then walked up to her foster sister and Wasp and introduced herself. “Hey, I’m Rotor Blade.” As she held her hoof out, she continued, “It’s, uh, good to meet you Wasp. Sorry about screaming and…” She was tackled by Wasp as he wrapped his arms and wings around her. “Wasp is happy to meet you!” he screamed happily.

As the three children continued to chat, Tailwinds faced High Winds and said, “I love it when foals make new friends.” High Winds leaned against her wife as she replied, “I do too.”

“So, how come you know High Winds?” Spitfire asked Black Adder. She and Black Adder had departed the FPS office and were now making their way towards High Winds’s house.

Black Adder replied, “I did say that I’m the pony they call when celebrities want to take foals in, and around here you don’t get much more famous than the Wonderbolts.” He said this rather plainly and calmly, but Spitfire noticed that he said “Wonderbolts” with a small but barely noticeable amount of annoyance. He then continued, “After a few weeks, she and her wife proved themselves to be perfect candidates for taking in foster foals.”

“So…” Spitfire nervously began. “Do you think I’d be a good parent?” She’d never thought she’d actually ask that kind of question to any-pony, let alone someone who was effectively a total stranger. If anything, Spitfire felt she didn’t even sound like herself. After a few seconds, Black Adder replied, “Professionally, I can’t state an opinion yet.” He then shot her a somewhat mischievous look as he replied, “Personally, I have more than a few doubts.”

“What kind of doubts?” Spitfire asked as she began to slow down. Black Adder explained, “You have a reputation for being very quick to anger, you’re occasionally prone to negligence, and if what I’ve heard is true, you can be a bit dense.”

This thinly veiled insult infuriated Spitfire. She flew in front of Black Adder and angrily asked, “How do you know all that anyway?” Black Adder, unmoved by her attempt to intimidate him, replied, “You’re famous captain, and there are ponies who dedicate themselves to knowing everything about you. That and you have made a fair bit of yourself after the whole world learned about your brother.”

Of course. Spitfire remembered that after the little “excursion” involving her brother Old Silver, she had pretty much admitted many of her personal flaws and issues public. True, some issues, such as her probation for her decisions regarding the “hired help,” were easy to tolerate and just move on. However, this lead to ponies uncovering more dirt on her, and it resulted in the Wonderbolts losing a fair bit of respect as well as forcing them to cancel more than a few shows. To add icing to the cake, the team even had to remove Spitfire from a few shows or else face the performances being cancelled.

“Well…” Spitfire hesitated as she realized that, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Black Adder wasn’t entirely wrong. Black Adder then continued, “Luckily, I am hoping you can prove me wrong Captain.” Spitfire could only sigh and reply, “Thanks.”

As Spitfire and Black Adder approached High Winds’s house, the aforementioned Wonderbolt and her wife exited the structure and made their way up to the Pegasus and bat-pony. Tailwind stepped forward and greeted her new guest. “Black Adder! So good to see you again!” she then wrapped the bat-pony in a large hug. High Winds then walked up and said, “Honey, I think you’re crushing him.” As Tailwind released Black Adder, he replied, “Don’t worry, I’ve survived the Anacondians, so think a simple hug wouldn’t harm me too much.”

“Anacondians?” Spitfire asked. Black Adder turned to face her and, as he straightened his hat, began to explain, “One of my first missions with the 15^th Lunar Lancers saw us stopping a group of maddened constrictors who had a voracious appetite for pony flesh.” High Winds then joined the conversation. “Ehg, I remember you told me about them when we first took in Pin Up. She had nightmares for weeks.” Black Adder then asked, “Speaking of foals, where is Wasp?”

It was then that Pin Up and Rotor Blade ran out of the house, only for the former to be tackled by Wasp. As Spitfire and Black Adder started to approach the young children, High Winds stopped them. As Spitfire gave her teammate a confused look, Wasp and Pin Up began to laugh as the Halfling said, “Pin Up is it.” He then began to buzz around as he and the other fillies continued to giggle.

High Winds explained, “They’ve been playing since the kids came home from school.” Tailwind then added, “There was a somewhat awkward first impression, but I think the girls like him.” Spitfire continued to watch Wasp fly around with High Winds’s foals, smiling as they continued to play tag. She then turned to Black Adder and said, “Looks like he can at least make friends.”

Wasp then noticed Spitfire had returned and made a beeline towards her. “Fire Spitter!!” He cried out as he tackled her, wrapping his arms around her. “You come back for Wasp!” Spitfire couldn’t help but let out a gentle giggle as she replied, “Of course I did. I couldn’t stay away from you forever.”

As Wasp finished his hug, he noticed Black Adder was staring at him. “Who is new pony?” He asked as he began to back away nervously. As Spitfire struggled to find a way to explain her new acquaintance, Black Adder walked up to Wasp, confidence and an aura of authority emanating from him.

“Hello there.” Black Adder said gently as he extended his hoof to Wasp. “My name is Black Adder.” Wasp hesitated for a few moments, his many eyes darting between Black Adder’s face and hoof. He then extended his arm as he replied, “Wasp’s name is Wasp.” Black Adder shook Wasp’s hand as he said, “It is an honor to meet you Wasp.” Spitfire let out a sigh of relief. She had been nervous about how Black Adder would react to Wasp, especially considering how he initially treated the other Wonderbolts.

Black Adder then began to explain to Wasp, “You see my friend, Spitfire wants to take you in, and I am going to make sure that she can.” Wasp’s eyes grew in excitement as he asked, “So Wasp get to stay with Fire Spitter?” “Hopefully.” Black Adder replied. Wasp then leapt into the air as he began to happily cry out, “Wasp gets to stay with Fire Spitter!” He continued to fly around and shout in joy until he, as well as the others, heard the unmistakable sound of Wasp’s stomach growling. “Wasp is hungry.” The young Halfling said meekly as he made his way to Spitfire and Black Adder.

Spitfire then said, “I think I have an idea.”

Black Adder would admit to himself that he’d seen many odd, interesting, and even disgusting things in his life. Even with this in mind, he hadn’t been prepared to see all three traits wrapped in a package of endearing adorableness as seeing Wasp tear a slice of pizza to shreds.

After having said their farewells to High Winds and her family (as well as managing to convince Wasp that he could visit Pin Up and Rotor Blade in the future), Spitfire had invited Black Adder to join her and Wasp for dinner, as well as allow Wasp to experience pizza for the first time. Needless to say, the fact that Wasp had devoured half of the pizza, spreading cheese, tomato sauce, and grease all over the kitchen made it clear that he found it delicious.

Spitfire then faced Wasp and began to speak. “Wasp, what did I tell you about table manners?” Wasp began to look away nervously as he replied, “Wasp is sorry.” Spitfire let out a relieved sigh and continued, “It’s ok Wasp. We’ll clean it up in a little bit.”

Black Adder then remarked, “Those are certainly some interesting table manners.” Wasp nervously replied, “Wasp is sorry. Megaton never really taught us manners.” “No, I figured not.” Black Adder replied. As he took a sip of his drink, he explained, “From what little I saw of that dragon, he didn’t seem to be the parenting kind of being.” Wasp then sighed as he replied, “Megaton doesn’t act like High Winds and Tailwind, or like you and Fire Spitter.”

“Spitfire!” Spitfire said out loud. “My name is Spitfire! Not Fire Spitter, Spitfire!” Wasp then began to whimper and, before either Spitfire or Black Adder could act, darted out of his chair and ran up to the guest room.

Black Adder turned to Spitfire and sternly reminded her, “That is the sort of behavior that I can’t allow.” Spitfire realized what she’d done and held her head in shame. Black Adder then added, “Luckily, that is exactly why I am here.” Spitfire could only reply with a simple, “Thanks.”

“Wasp?” Spitfire asked as she entered the room. Sure enough, Wasp was hiding under the covers. As Spitfire began to approach him, Wasp pulled the blanket over him as he began to cry, “Wasp is sorry! Please don’t hurt Wasp!” Spitfire felt her heart break into several small pieces. After all, she had scared him.

“Wasp, I’m sorry.” Spitfire gently apologized. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.” Wasp then rose from the sheets as he began to speak. “Wasp just gets confused with names. And Spifti… Spitty Fire…. Fire Spitter is hard for Wasp to remember.” Spitfire simply made her way up to him and wrapped her hooves and wings around him. As Wasp returned the favor, she began to explain, “You know what, I think Fire Spitter has a nice ring to it.” “Really?” Wasp asked. Spitfire replied, “You bet.”

As Wasp let out a big yawn, Spitfire let out a giggle as she said, “I think some-pony is tired. Get some sleep Wasp, I’ll get everything cleaned up.” “Ok.” Wasp replied as he allowed his exhaustion to consume him and drift off into a peaceful slumber. She then tucked him in and, before she realized it, planted a small kiss on his forehead. Spitfire then departed the room turning off the lights so Wasp would hopefully have a good night’s sleep.

Spitfire then returned to the kitchen, only to find that Black Adder had already cleaned most of the mess up. He then noticed she had returned and began to speak. “Oh, I figured you had more important issues than cleaning up pizza stains.” “Thanks.” Spitfire replied. “Sorry for snapping at him. Guess I kinda got annoyed at that nickname he gave me.”

Black Adder began to laugh to himself as he said, “A Wonderbolt not liking a nickname, isn’t that rich?” Spitfire rolled her eyes as she replied, “Ha ha, I know, we’re all a bunch of hypocrites.”

It was then that Black Adder said, “That does remind me of something important.” “What is it?” Spitfire asked. Black Adder, setting the rag he had been using on the table, explained, “Unless you’re planning on keeping Wasp hidden from the outside world, which I think is a rather idiotic move, You’re going to have to understand to show him to the world.” Spitfire asked, “What, like a prop?” Black Adder replied, “Oh no. I meant to say that it would be best to make known that he’s with you, so that other ponies can’t use him as some sort of blackmail material.”

Spitfire knew he was right. As much as she felt that announcing to all of Equestria that she had taken a Halfling in, she knew if Wasp was kept hidden from prying eyes, he could be used as leverage against not only her, but the team. Sighing, Spitfire replied, “Ok. I’ll tell the other Wonderbolts once we resume training.”

“Very well.” Black Adder said. “I’ll also need to report not only to FPS, but Princess Twilight’s court so that they know Wasp isn’t a scout for Megaton.” Spitfire nodded and replied, “Thanks Black Adder.” “Anytime Captain.” The bat pony replied. As he walked over to the door, he picked up his cap and jacket as he said, “Besides, you might need some-pony who can kill you twelve different ways with his bare hooves to keep an eye on you two.” He then gave a quick wink as he darted out the door and off into the skies.

Spitfire simply sighed as she said to herself, “What a jerk.” Despite essentially insulting him, she couldn’t help but smile. After all, despite her personal issues with him, Black Adder had been willing to help, even when he knew that Wasp had been a Halfling. All in all, she felt that despite his rough edges, right now he was one of her best chances of keeping Wasp safe.

However, exhaustion from a long day caught up to her, and Spitfire decided to get ready for bed. After all, it was going to be a long couple of days.