There's no feeling worse than knowing you have to do something so horrid, but in some demented and twisted form of nature, it's the right thing to do.
It sickened me, but I couldn't let my beloved Fluttershy remain a victim of that monstrosity! I refused to let the one I loved fall victim to something she couldn't even control, no matter how hard we tried to save her from the darkness that she had been cursed to wander in for the rest of her- I mean its life!
Never before had I experienced such excruciating pain, feeling as if my heart had been shattered to pieces as if it were made of glass. It had hurt so much that it had pushed me over the edge, changing me into somepony I wasn't. The Element of Loyalty had fallen and had been replaced with an ungrateful monster that pushed away all of her friends and family, all because she refused to accept the harsh reality that had befallen her.
The reality that she had no choice but to kill the one she loved in some twisted act of kindness that freed her of the control of the creature that had bore her form. I still remember the day that it all began. A day I dread and have come to accept as the worst day of my life. But, perhaps I should start from the beginning.
Not long after the Flutterbat incident, Fluttershy had begun to experience trauma from the experience, and as a result, seeked help from her closest friends. I won't bother with boring and pointless details, and will just skip to the things that matter. To put it short and sweet, I became the main pony that Flutters came to out of the five. I had been friends with her since Junior Flight Camp, so she felt I understood her the most, and honestly, that wasn't a total lie.
She was scared, no, terrified of becoming that abomination again, and cried to me every time that we met up. I've never been the best with words, but I always listened and did my best to assure her that Flutterbat was gone and was never coming back. Not as long as I was around to stop it.
She cried each time, and it broke my heart to see her in pain, so I'd always hold her tight to show her I was absolutely serious about what I said. I hated to see her hurt! I just wanted to take her pain away, and reform her back to the Fluttershy I once knew before the entire Flutterbat situation happened!
Fluttershy saw that too, and over time, we grew close. Closer than we ever had before. We met up more often than usual, and even began- yep, you guessed it- dating. Now, you're probably wondering how Flutters and I became, well, a thing. Well, to put it simple, we began to see each other as more than just friends over the months of meeting up, as much as find ourselves acting more "intimate" towards one another. However, the whole truth came out when Fluttershy's nightmares had stopped, and was replaced by something else. Me.
We didn't notice this until later on, during one of our meetups. Out of nowhere, she just came out and said it, and to be honest, I had no idea what to say in response. I just sat completely in shock that Fluttershy, of all ponies, had just spat out her feelings for somepony like me! I couldn't say anything, and just thought hard about the words I had just heard.
"I can't hold it in any longer... Rainbow, I've fallen in love with you!"
I mean, how does one respond to something like that? Never did I take Flutters as somepony with an attraction for mares, but as I thought harder in those many seconds of shock and confusion, I came to the reality that I too had fallen in love with her, but was too blind and stubborn to even think of it actually being true. Holding the dumbest expression I could, I turned to her, her head hanging in shame at what she may have just said may have just destroyed our friendship. I only swallowed hard and said nothing like a loser, my pride being the culprit.
"I-I'm sorry... I'll just l-leave now...
I don't know what suddenly rushed through me following those words, but I just broke out of my trans of bafflement and lunged into her, my lips meeting hers. We collapsed to the floor in an embrace, and while both of us were completely lost and unsure if what we were doing was right or wrong, at the same time we didn't care, and just let our feelings coalesce into a passionate moment of romance.
What followed was one of the best moments of my life, and I have never forgotten one moment of it. Every kiss, caress, sensation, and just knowing that Fluttershy loved me as much as I did her is a phenomenon I'll never forget as long as I continue to live. I don't know how long we embraced one another. It felt like forever to both of us, and in our personal eternity, we felt like we were on top of the world. No cares. No worries. Just us. Alone. Together as one. Forever.
We broke the news to the others not long after and dated for a few months, then during one evening while resting on a cloud, upon Luna's setting of the sun, Flutters proposed, revealing a small box with the ring I still wear around my neck with a silver chain holding it in place, close to my heart. Embedded with the symbol that matched my cutie mark, I accepted with not even a single moment of hesitation, embracing her with a passionate kiss and tears of unlimited amounts of joy rolling from my eyes, staining my face.
I was one of the luckiest mares alive, and was honestly a mess when it came to the big day; you know your casual pre-marriage stuff. Luckily for me, Applejack was able to talk some sense into me, brutal honesty at its finest.
"I-I can't do it, Applejack! I'm not good enough for some mare as perfect as her!"
I still remember the look she gave me, capitalizing her next words by stomping one of her hooves violently on the floor.
"Lands sake, girl! Calm yourself!"
Immediately, I knew that she was serious, but I was a frazzled mess of emotions, too lost in my own world to even comprehend what she was saying. The next exclamation though, broke me out of that state of mind.
"Rainbow Dash!"
I jumped at that. It was one of those cases of when you know someone is dead-set on getting your attention, and without a doubt, it worked.
"Do you really love Fluttershy?"
My answer came out shaky and nearly unrecognizable.
"Y-Yeah...
"Then why are ya' even questionin' if she's the mare for you?"
Again, I was nearly unable to answer, but somehow managed to mutter out something.
Well, because...
I didn't have a chance to even finish my sentence, before Applejack interrupted me.
Because nothin!
That was the words that begun the whole parade of brutal honesty, and I couldn't have been more unprepared for the harshness that I was about to experience, but it needed to happen.
"You've been with this mare for months, and haven't regretted a single moment of it. Am I right?"
"Well, yeah-
"Would Fluttershy have stuck around if she didn't love you?"
"No, but-
"Then why are we even needin' to have this conversation?"
I was stumped. Applejack had somehow managed to hit me right where it counted with only three questions. Not to mention, she had also summed up the whole conversation and had left me completely speechless. She only continued to land blows I couldn't recover from, knocking me out cold slowly but surely.
"Every since you and Fluttershy started datin,' I've seen her change drastically in a good way. Whenever she's around ya,' I see a totally different mare, and it's because of you that she's not scared of the simplest things anymore. You've made her braver in the face of danger and more confident in everythin' she does.
YOU did that, RD. That's why she loves ya.' Not because your the fastest flyer in Equestria. Not because of your ability to perform the Sonic Rainboom. She loves you for you, and the way I see it, you two are meant to be together. That's why your here and why she's out there waitin' for ya' to join her in holy matrimony upon that stage."
AJ had hit hard, and everything she had said was one-hundred percent true, and I couldn't argue with the truth. I sucked up every since of doubt I had, and with all my confidence and determination to wed the mare I loved with all of my being, walked out of that dressing room, down the aisle, and joined the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria upon that stage, meeting the gaze of her sapphire blue eyes with my own through her veil.
With Celestia's words, along with the presentation of the rings and the usual "I do's" from both of us, we kissed and sealed the deal, happily bound as one for the rest of our lives.
Or at least, that's what I wished was the case. This story doesn't end with a happily ever after...
Three years passed, and our life together couldn't have been more perfect, up until Fluttershy's nightmares had returned once again. Each night, she woke up in a cold sweat, the bed sheets soaked and damp, her screams being what awoke me from my slumber. I would always ask her what was wrong, but it wasn't until the third time that she came out with the truth. Being her wife, I did my best to comfort her, but the nightmares only progressed to the point of where she woke up in tears.
We consulted medical attention after a week of the reoccurring night scares, but it may as well have been a waste of time, the conclusion always being the same.
"She's perfectly healthy, and we can't find any sort of problems with her physical health."
The doctors prescribed her some sleeping medication, but the nightmares only continued, and the medication didn't help her one bit. We gave up on seeking medical help, and instead turned to Twilight for help, hoping that maybe there was some spell that could help to rid Fluttershy of the nightmares.
Twilight tried and tried to find something, even going as far as hypnotism to try and find the root of the issue, but in the end, there was nothing Twilight could do, suggesting that we go to Zecora for help. With nowhere to turn, we followed Twilight's suggestion and went to Zecora for what we hoped was a solution to the issue. Zecora didn't seem stunned at all by the whole thing, and resorted to some sort of mind-delving potion.
"The problem is not one visible to the eye, the answers you seek lie inside of her mind."
That was all Zecora stated, and while neither Flutters or I understood exactly what she meant, we had nowhere else to go. She gave Fluttershy half of the potion, the other half being for Zecora herself. Drinking down the potion, all that followed was well, nothing. It was kinda similar to when Twilight drank the potion that took her back to the past; glowing eyes and motionless movement for what felt like forever.
When something finally had happened, it terrified me to no end. Zecora had begun to yell aloud as if she were being chased by something. She waved her legs in the air attempting to shoo away some sort of creature or something, but nothing was there, and all that followed was all the more terrifying. Zecora screamed, but it wasn't just your casual scream, it was ear piercing wails of mercy, as if she were being attacked or mauled by something.
That wasn't the end of it however. It continued onward with Zecora uttering coughs, choked cries of pain and mercy, and lastly, a collapse to the floor, her eyes shutting. I was advised not to intervene, but I was scared for her safety as much as Fluttershy's, and right as I made an attempt to help Zecora in whatever trans she may have been in, she jumped upward with a large intake of breath, along with blood leaking from her tear ducts. She breathed heavily, along with Fluttershy as well who had come back to reality as well.
Unsure what to do, I helped Zecora back up, but as soon as I made an attempt to wipe the blood away, she pushed away my hoof.
"The tears contain the answers you seek, wipe them away, you'll destroy everything."
I was in a state of complete disturbance upon that statement, but didn't argue, allowing Zecora to follow through with whatever she planned to do next. She took a small flask and caressed them across where the bloody tears had seeped from her sockets, collecting them, and approaching her large cauldron. Gently, she dropped the contents of the flask into the brewing cauldron, and what followed was what seemed like some form of a horror movie being played within the brew.
A scene of terror played out within the cauldron's contents, the scene being Fluttershy trotting at a hasty speed away from Flutterbat high in the sky. The scene played out in horrid fashion, Flutterbat catching Fluttershy and mauling her to death, the screams and pleas for mercy matching what Zecora had done while in the trans perfectly. I pleaded for Zecora to stop the gruesome scene being played out, the scenario being too disturbing to watch.
Zecora followed my pleas, breaking the scene as fast as she could muster. I rushed to Fluttershy, and quickly embraced her, both of us crying from the malicious show that we both had just witnessed. It took awhile for both Fluttershy and I to calm down, Zecora being kind enough to give us hospitality, until we were calm enough to leave on our own. She had even put on a pot of tea to help "calm the mind" as Zecora put it, and strangely enough, it did help.
Once all three of us were calmed to a stable state, the end result of how to go about fixing Fluttershy's current predicament had come to light. Zecora looked shaken by the whole thing, which scared Fluttershy and I both.
"This is worse than I could've thought. There is no cure for Fluttershy, I fear not.
The scene you just bared is not the last. Indeed, this show will come to pass.
How to stop this, is not an easy feat, you both must be strong if you wish to succeed.
Fluttershy will never be the same, for you Rainbow Dash, I have only one thing to say.
Never give up on the mare you love, for your relationship will be very rough.
A time will come when you must decide to do what is right, it will not be easy, no, it will be a great plight
You will be tested greatly in time, what the outcome may be is for you to decide."
I never would've imagined just how relevant those words were, until it did come to pass. Zecora wasn't lying, but being me, I just left confused on what she met. Unfortunately, it wouldn't take long to understand. No more than even a week after, the nightmares continuously got worse, up to the point that Flutter's couldn't even sleep and had practically become a night owl, or should I say.... a night bat...
The signs had begun to show, but I just refused to believe that Flutterbat was even something that could be a factor. I was dead wrong, and I had begun to see it, but by the time I realized it, I was too late... too late to save her. Becoming a restless pony was only the start, and progressed to something more... demented. Fluttershy had gone from kind and sweet to voracious, snappy, and violent.
Every time I'd try to talk to her, she'd snap back, not wanting to talk about it, and at times would even resort to trying to bite me or pin me down like prey. Luckily, she came back to her senses before she could do anything violent, and would isolate herself from me, claiming that she didn't want to hurt me. Her eyes had also developed a bloody tint to them, and everytime she'd even glare at me, I'd start to get a sense of... fear.
I can't describe it, but there was always something about that "stare" that made every inch of my fur rise on my body, and I didn't any other explanation except that somehow, someway, Flutterbat was back. I didn't chance it, and made an attempt to get Fluttershy help, but she refused it, and the more I enticed her on the subject, she'd grow more and more violent. That's when it happened...
She actually bit me, and not just a little nip, she actually bit into my right foreleg like a predator would to its helpless prey. That isn't the scary part though. No... the horror unfolded when she caught the scent of my blood, protruding out of my wound. The bite force was unbelievable, and all I could do was shout in complete and utter pain, unable to break free of her grasp, and upon catching the scent of my crimson body fluid, the bite force increased ten-fold.
Screaming is all I remember doing, too afraid to try pulling free of her hold, knowing that if I did, I'd lose a limb. I just cried, shouted, and begged to Celestia that it was just a terrible nightmare. It seemed like forever, but eventually I came to the solution that nopony could hear my screams or pleas of sheer pain, both from the bite force and the pain in my heart of what I had to do to get free...
Knowing nopony was coming to save me, I closed my eyes and threw all of my strength into a last-ditch effort in the form of a blow, connecting right to the side of Fluttershy's head...
The blow had caused her teeth to cut through untainted flesh, causing even more blood to spill from my wounds, but it was enough to put the "thing" that had bit me into a temporary slumber. The bite force receded, and after loosening the grip on my forearm enough, I pulled free my limb. When I saw the damage, I wanted to vomit; there were two very distinct marks on my flesh that had penetrated past the muscle, into the bone.
I was smart not to try pulling free while it was still awake, otherwise, I would've lost my right forearm and would've probably bled to death. I made haste with my wound, wrapping it tight with a bandage to stop the bleeding, but the real danger was that Flutterbat was only knocked out temporarily, and I needed to find some way to contain it before it opened its eyes again.
I followed my first instinct, and flew quickly to the Golden Oak Library, waking a very irritated Twilight. However, once she saw my wound, and the blood that had begun to seep out of the bandage, she quickly took the initiative to find out why I had come to her in the middle of the night in such a frantic state.
I explained everything and Twilight was just as shocked as I was. The Element of Kindness would never commit such a violent and horrifying act, and that remains true, because my Fluttershy did NOT do it. Flutterbat did. With Applejack's help, we were able to lasso the monster and contain it before it could harm anypony else. However, we had no idea where to go from there, except to Celestia in hopes of some miracle cure.
We didn't. Instead, Twilight attempted to use the same spell she did to rid Fluttershy of Flutterbat before. We hoped and prayed that it would solve the problem, but hope was lost in this endeavor. It only made it more violent and aggressive, and Twilight, wanting to see if she could find a solution first, scavenged her library for any books to do with entities or possession, which at the time, seemed sensible.
While Twilight and the others worked on finding some miracle to save Fluttershy, I kept hoping that she would just return to normal, just like she always did, and that marks the beginning of my downfall. I just wanted things to go back to normal. That one day, the mare I had wed would come back to me. Wishful thinking, Rainbow Dash...
Weeks passed, turning into months, and by the time we had ran out of solutions, it was close to a year. We had tried everything; spells, homemade remedies, ridiculous mythological solutions, etc. All had failed and any hope of saving Fluttershy from the monster that had corrupted her mind had begun to shimmer like dying embers of a fire. With nowhere else to go, we contacted Celestia, praying to the eons that she would have an answer to this.
More like praying to false gods that never existed.
She arrived not long after sending the letter, and confronted the "thing" that we had kept confined to chains in one of Applejack's spare barns. The creature met her eyes, speaking hatred and bloodlust, and bared its fangs as defense. Celestia was shaken by the sight, and as she attempted to get closer, that thing just continued to violently lunge at her, being pulled down by the chains each time.
I hated it. I hated all of it. Every moment, minute, and second I had to see my beloved in pain, lost in some world she couldn't escape. It hurt more than anything. An indescribable pain that I couldn't explain, knowing Fluttershy was in there somewhere, lost to the eons in search of her friends and the mare she loved.
It disgusted me, and as much as I wanted to just kill that abomination, I couldn't! It was as if it were taunting me endlessly, knowing I couldn't do a damn thing! I was angry, sad, hurt, and lost in a conflict! I just wanted it to stop, but it just continued to devour me! I could only sit there and just... do nothing!
The pain would only continue to worsen at the answer to Celestia's attempt to rid the monster that plagued the mare I loved...
Celestia attempted some sort of mind spell to search for the soul that had been lost to a void of unadulterated darkness, but all efforts would fail, along with an answer that would destroy me mentally and physically forever...
Hours passed. Hours of suspense, emotions, and anticipation, until a sudden heavy intake of air in the form of a fearful gasp emanated from Celestia, reminding me exactly of the day when Zecora performed her mind delve potion, minus no blood leaking from her tear ducts. I could only stand in shock as she collapsed to the barn floor, landing hard. This was the moment that would change me; change me into a.. a... monster...
After helping her back up, Celestia gave me the most brutal and tragic response I could've never been prepared for.
"Well! Anything?!"
"I-I...
Celestia had taken a sudden pause, which I knew immediately meant bad news, but my desire clouded my judgement, making the next words all the more impactful.
"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I searched for her as long as I could, but all that I saw, was darkness. Fluttershy was nowhere in the void, but something, I fear, was...
"Fluttershy! It had to be her! Who else could it have been!?"
"Rainbow Dash. All I saw... was...
"SPIT IT!"
I regret how I responded so... arrogantly. All Celestia was trying to do was help, but again, I was masked by the want for my beloved to be returned from this void. Twilight cut in, knowing that I had been in the wrong for acting so selfish.
"Rainbow, please calm...
So begun the death of the Element of Loyalty.
"You calm down!"
Applejack had cut in quickly, seeing every other pony present was too stunned or scared to act.
"Rainbow, Twilight's just tryin' to help! Calm yourself!"
"I'll calm down when I have my Fluttershy back!"
"We all want Fluttershy back, sugarcube, but we're gettin' nowhere by causin an unnecessary ruckus for no reason! Pull yourself together, and like the rest of us, allow Celestia to speak!"
Applejack was right, so I just responded with a huff, and allowed Celestia to speak at last. Little did I know that the next words spoken would be what would kill me in more ways than one.
"I-I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, but all I saw in the void was... the creature that now bares Fluttershy's form. Fluttershy is non-existent, and I'm afraid... I'm afraid that she's lost to the darkness, as I couldn't sense her in the void, nor could I hear her calls for help... I'm sorry, Rainbow, but your beloved... is gone."
Broken. That was the only word that could describe how I felt. I never extorted anger or went into an outrage in denial. I only fell in defeat, my heart shattered, and my will to live, gone. I didn't speak or even move a muscle. The words sunk in like knives penetrating flesh, my leaking wounds spilling blood as cold as ice. I wasn't sure what happened, nor could I even describe it. I just fell into a state of mind where I hoped to unite with the mare I had lost to a... a... monstrosity. One that now mocked me with its stare and overall appearance.
After coming out of the darkness that now bore my form, I didn't do anything, except scream in agonizing pain, hoping for my beloved Fluttershy to hear my calls, but no answer ever came. We had tried everything, and all attempts had failed. Now where did I go? What did I do? Cry? Die? Go on living?
My friends tried to comfort me in my loss, but all I could think of was two words; what now?
I had no idea, and would never know until I came to realization on what I had to do to free myself and Fluttershy of the corruption and pain.
It all came in one moment. Like a culmination of emotions that could not be tamed by any creature, no matter their age, or how experienced they may be. The day when I saw my beloved behind the facade of a mockery; a cry for help. For freedom...
I had isolated myself from every one of my friends and family to try and handle the pain on my own, but in doing that, I had betrayed my own element, and up until I saw the reflection of myself in the mirror that dreadful morning, I wanted to just die away in my own self agony, but I couldn't. I still had yet to free Fluttershy of her prison.
It hit hard, but I knew it was right. It felt wrong, but I just pounded it in my head that the creature before me was NOT my beloved. It took me months to get to where I had stood, hoping and praying that Celestia was wrong, but "it's" appearance was enough to answer my doubts. Fluttershy wasn't dead; she was trapped, and I had to free her through an act of kindness.
Tears filled my eyes as I walked toward the creature, it's skin a pale-yellow, eyes blood-red, and It's once-pegasus wings now bat wings. Even the cutie mark had changed from three beautiful pink flowers to three pink vampire bats, sealing the nail in the coffin. I gripped the knife in my hoof tightly, as the monster snarled and bared its fangs at me. What once was the most beautiful mare in Equestria was now nothing but an eyesore.
Bruised scars were visible where the constraints attached to It's limbs had tore through the flesh, after being yanked back to the floor by the chains that held It contained in the fragile shed I now stood in. Staring with anger, my friends behind me holding their emotions, I confronted the monster that had torn me down physically and mentally over the past year, gripping the knife and intentionally showing It the scar it had given me that one night.
It sneered and snickered at the sight of the scar, but I gave It no emotions to feed off. I only gave it a glare, my magenta eyes meeting It's piercing crimson eyes. I wanted It to know that I was neither afraid or sad. I wanted It to know that I would not cower any longer! That this was the last time it would violate the sight of what was once the mare I loved! I wanted it to FEAR ME!
Holding the knife up, the being cowered as I spoke my last words to It.
"I'm sorry, Flutters. For everything. But now, I know what I need to do."
The foul creature lunged toward me in a selfless attempt to stop what I was about to do, but with careful aim, I freed her. The blade penetrated the monster's windpipe, emanating a series of choking sounds as I felt the warm crimson liquid begin to run down my forearm like a waterfall.
"Please forgive me. I love you and always will."
I pulled the blood-soaked blade from the creature, watching as It died. It convulsed for what felt like forever, but eventually the gasps for air and emanations of choking on blood died down, and when they did, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time; peace and harmony. As if an unbearable weight had been lifted from my shoulders at long last.
I dropped the blade, and for the first time ever since the night the monster took her form, I cried. I broke, my wings falling to the floor, and my emotions pouring out in a fit of sadness unlike any other. I felt like a filly who had stubbed their hoof, and had no shame in it, knowing that this had to happen in order for my beloved to be freed of the corruption of Flutterbat. She wasn't in pain anymore or trapped in a labyrinth of darkness with no exit. She was free.
The tears continued to fall and my friends continued to comfort me, causing a warmth to come over me, knowing that I too had been freed. I was corrupted with anger and denial, but now that the darkness that both my beloved and I had become lost in had been extinguished, I could move on. I could move on at last, knowing she is free from that monster, and while it did hurt like absolute hell, I took it with all the strength I could muster.
My life has not been the same since, and it never will be. To lose your beloved is one thing, but to lose yourself at the same time is almost impossible to come back from once the dust has settled. But in the end, I did come back from it, and that's all that matters. Fluttershy's absence here still hurts like hell, but it also helps me to remember that I came back from the darkness that Flutterbat had put me in, all thanks to the one thing that Fluttershy taught all of us; if we all just show a little kindness, we can see things in a different light.