“Rise and shine, y'all!!!”
“WuuuAAAAaaaAAAAiiiieeeEEEEeeee!!!” Trixie jumped wide awake as if she was leaping lava from her dreams. She hovered in midair for a few cartoonish seconds—hoof-kicking at everything and nothing—before falling back down on her tummy with eyes rolling painfully in opposite directions. “OoooOoooOoooghhhhuuuuu...” Shaking the rattles out of her furry head, she frowned sleepily across the sun-laden clearing of the Everfree Forest. “Who has the AUDACITY to wake the Great and Powerful Trixie from her beauty sleep?!?!”
A freckle-faced pony with a sunny complexion and an even sunnier voice tilted her brown hat back and hoofed Trixie a bouquet of white flowers. “Dig in! Breakfast is served!”
Trixie's lips parted as she squinted at Applejack, at the Forest, and at the many-many ponies all around them waking to a meal of gathered flora. “... … ...you have got to be kidding Trixie.”
“No jokes about it, sugarcube!” Applejack said, smiling. “It's on the house! Courtesy of Sunset Shimmer! She and Rainbow went foragin' about this morning and found this whole field full of these here scrumptious flowers! Better eat 'em while they're hot! Err... eheheh...” Applejack rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You know what I mean.” She dropped a few buds down at Trixie's drooping face and continued trotting off, carrying more bouquets in a makeshift twig “basket” towards the rest of the group. “I know t'ain't bacon and grits, but y'all will be surprised how tasty and fillin' it is!”
“... … …” Trixie squatted low to the ground, squinting suspiciously through her drooping bed hair at the flowers. Like a suspicious cat, she reached forward and lightly pawed the unappealing white petals of the bouquet.
Beside her, an orange figure squatted, munching liberally at his own “plate” of stalks. “Mrmmffff... y'know...” Flash Sentry managed between bites. “...I can't stop thinking about Applejack. Like...” He smiled in Trixie's direction. “...why does the universe allow her to manifest in this world with that hat on?”
“Is this what Trixie has been reduced to?” Trixie pouted, gingerly picking the flowers and still grimacing. “A muncher of weeds?”
“I don't even think Applejack was wearing a cowboy hat on the cruise ship,” Flash continued. “So, like, what's up with that?” He turned and looked over his shoulder at key participants of the breakfasting crowd. “Also, do you remember Rarity wearing that much eyeshadow? As a human, I mean...”
“Hmmmpff!” Trixie frowned. “Does sad-sack even care about how miserable Trixie is feeling?”
Flash swallowed some more petals and said, “You just woke up hungry. Have a bite or two. It's really not that bad.”
“Says you.”
“I mean it! You'd think it'd be... well... icky and gross and such. But it actually goes down pretty well! Also—and I didn't expect this, having a waaaaaaaay bigger mouth than usual—but it actually has an enjoyable consistency as you're munching down on it!”
“Meh.”
Flash squinted at Trixie. “I thought last night you were hungry enough to eat a horse.” He blushed almost immediately. “Er... eheheh... you know what I mean...”
“Flowers are not for eating,” Trixie grumbled, shaking the cobwebs out of her tangled mess of a bed-ridden mane. “Flowers are for replacing wands and bunny rabbits and flame in a top hat.”
“Fake plastic flowers, huh?” Flash winked.
“Mehhhhhhhhhhh...”
“Hah!” Flash smiled, munching on more petals. “I almost made up a Radiohead song.”
Trixie glared daggers at him. “What's gotten you so bright and cheery, sad-sack?”
“I'm trying to earn a new nickname.”
“Yes, well, it won't work...” Trixie sat up, crackling the joints in her petite pony body. “Grhhh... Trixie knows that you're just a pathetic pretender underneath.”
“Just like you're a grumpy female dog all over?”
“Trixie begs your pardon?!?”
“You want advice for waking up in the morning?”
“No.”
“Just shake it loose,” Flash said. “Quick and fast. Slam through your exhaustion and embrace the light. If we had running water, I'd suggest a cold shower.” He gestured with his hoof. “Going about mornings slow means your whole day will be slow. Then where will you be?”
“If Trixie is lucky, a coffin.”
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...” Flash bore a bittersweet smirk. “Come on, Trixie...”
“All of Trixie's performances are either in the late afternoon or at night. Trixie has never been and never shall be a morning person.”
“Well, you're not exactly a person anymore, so you're halfway through to a positive change!” Flash winked. “That'll give you a leg up! And we both have four of those!”
“Hrmmmff...” Trixie on her haunches, cradling the flowers in her fetlocks. “You should take up high school counseling.”
“Ayyyyyyy, thanks...”
“... … … Trixie hates high school counselors.”
Flash chuckled. “In a place and situation like this, I'd say it's best to direct your hate at something that doesn't currently exist.”
“Ughhh...” Trixie frowned at the scene bustling around them. “Why is everybody so bright and bushy-tailed?”
“Probably cuz they're fueling up with breakfast. You should too.” Flash ate his last flower, munched, and pointed towards a thinning treeline east of them. “According to Sunset and Rainbow Dash, we've only got an hour's trot to the forest's edge. Maybe less than that.”
“Then what?”
“The fields and plains of Central Equestria. Emerald hillsides, bright blue lakes, a huge castle in the distance...”
“Will Trixie be forced into a cutscene with a polygonal owl?”
“Huh?”
Trixie huffed. “I thought our journey was going to be a short one...”
“Oh! It is! Just... the challenge is going to be moving out in the open,” Flash said. “According to Sunset, each of us has a double in Equestria.”
“You mean there's another Trixie out there?”
“Didn't you know?” Flash smiled. “A Great and Powerful pony namesake!”
“Hah!” Trixie scoffed. “There's only one Grreat and Powerrful Trrixie! That horse doppelganger is nothing but an imposter! A horse hockey harlot!”
“Hey, that's the spirit!”
“Buh?”
“You're most energetic when you're competitive.” Flash pointed. “Maybe channel that energy into breakfast.”
Trixie once again eyed the unsightly food in her grasp. “Mrmmmm... where were we headed again?”
“Some place called 'Ponyville,'” Flash declared. “Aside from having a boring name, I know nothing about it. Except it has a castle... the Castle of Friendship, from the sound of things. That's where the portal is.”
“The portal that leads us back home?”
“Yeah...” Flash nodded. “Not sure why a horse castle has a portal that leads directly to Canterlot High School.” He tapped his muzzle in thought. “Guess that'd put a lot of bus drivers out of a job, if mass produced...”
“If all of our horse impostors are in Ponyville and beyond, then how are we going to get to the portal unseen?”
“That's the hard part,” Flash declared. “Sunny and Twilight are thinking it over. They're likely to give us a briefing just before we set out.”
“Oh joy.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie can't wait.”
“Sure you can. And there's one way to pass the time.”
“How's that?”
Flash pointed at the flowers in her grasp.
“Trixie... isn't quite sure...”
“Eat them,” Flash said. “We're trot buddies... not limp'and'drag buddies. We both need our strength to make it to our destination in one piece. Well... two pieces.”
“Is sad sack admitting that he would carry Trixie if he could?”
“Out of the question.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have feathers.”
“So?”
“It means I'm designed for flying. Not for pack muling.”
“Then... what is Trixie designed for?”
“Beats me, but you'd make a terrible warhorse.”
“Hrmmmfff... says you!” Trixie tilted her nose up. “The Grreat and Powerrful Trixie can be quite resourceful! There are many tricks up my sleeve!”
“Except you have no sleeves...”
“Fine! You want to see a capable colorful magic mare?! Trixie will show you!” And with that said, Trixie thrust half the bouquet in her muzzle. She munched and munched and munched... then froze in position, blinking wide.
Flash tilted his head to the side. “... … ...well?”
“... … ...does that pony in a hat have seconds?”
“Heh heh heh heh...”