You were sitting at the courtyard, while your friends ate lunch, conversing. Gallus was in front of you, preparing himself to tell a joke. He and Sandbar had Pinkie’s class with you after lunch, and apparently they had homework. Nothing too big it seemed, it was simply to tell a good joke. You weren’t really paying attention though, not after what happened at the stadium.
When Twilight and Rainbow found you and Scrappy from within the walls of the stadium, Scrappy was already quick to lie, mentioning that he had wandered inside following a squirrel, as dogs apparently do that. You went along with it, and Twilight thought it was funny, but asked him to take things more seriously. Rainbow’s class didn’t last much longer after that, as Twilight allowed everyone inside the Stadium anyway for a sneak peek. It was nice, it had a track, hurdles, a buckball field, a pool, all the essentials a stadium needed, especially one that big.
But that disturbance Chrysalis was talking about. Was it a season starter thing? A season ender? Or maybe it was nothing. Hmm.
“...Hey, Anon, are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting weird after following that changeling into the stadium.” Smolder noted as she gave you a gentle shake.
“Huh? Yeah, yeah…” You shake your head to regain your senses, and look to the worried faces of everyone with a tired but reassuring smile. “Sorry, guys, I’m more just overwhelmed due to this being my first day and all.”
“Seriously?” Gallus asked, skeptical. “I would have thought this would have been easy compared to your ‘hero work’.”
“Well, actually, I can understand how Anon feels. He usually doesn’t do too well in places that are overwhelmingly nice.” Ocellus says to everyone, to inform them.
“Yona find Anon so confusing, why would nice place overwhelm Anon?” Yona asked.
“Anon is more used to, well, not so nice stuff. B-but I’m sure despite all that, Anon surely has a good opinion about us and the school, right, Anon?” Ocellus asked as she looked at you. Hm, seems she was reading your emotions wrong this time, thinking you were just being overwhelmed with the goodness of the school.
“Really?” Sandbar himself was also rather confused. “He seemed fine before. Well, if that’s really what it is…” Sandbar leans against you and hugs you close. “Don’t even worry about it, Anon. If that’s what’s going on, you’re gonna love Gallus’s joke. We worked on it all night.”
“Ooooh, golly, I’m so interested in hearing it. Especially since griffon jokes are soooooo rare!” Cozy said, hovering up adorably as she looked to Gallus, waiting for it.
“Sandbar is right, Anon. I bet it'll be the funniest and most cheering up thing ever! Ooh! But then you’ll tell us one of your awesome stories, right?” Silverstream was practically hopping as she said all this, hoping to hear a yes out of you.
Man, the way she was staring at you, how could you even think of breaking her heart? “Yeah, sure, if everycreature is willing to listen.” Man, you really wished you could talk about the Storm Ravager and how you trounced him. But that was a secret to everyone, in which only you, Discord, and Fluttershy knew. Aside from Tempest and such.
“I kind of want to hear about how you and the counselor became friends. She kinda sperged on me yesterday and may have mentioned you reformed her or something. Like, reform reform? I didn’t take our counselor as evil or anything like that.” Smolder said as she rubbed the back of her head. “I mean, even by dragon standards, it doesn’t seem right. When a dragon is bad, yeah, you’ll know it, and so will everycreature else when they smell the burning...Erm, everything.”
“Oh, even I know that’s true. It was mentioned in the newspapers a couple times, about her and the town she used to rule over.” Sandbar said.
“Wow! I didn’t even know ponies could be evil! And counselor Starlight? Really? She’s so nice though, and a great listener! Are you sure that happened?” Silverstream asked, a little skeptical given her current view on Starlight.
“No, they're right. Counselor Starlight wasn’t that bad though, she was just, well, misguided.” Man, just the way they looked at you right now. It really was like it was when you first got here. Everyone loved you, everyone was amazed by you.
“Gee, I can’t even imagine Counselor Starlight as a bad pony. “ Cozy said, feeling down, her ears folding as she rubbed at her hooves. “She must have been so lonely, like me. But, it’s kind of weird, why didn’t you become counselor then, Anon? You’re really good at helping everycreature.” Well, we all knew the answer to that. Twilight is a cunt.
Ocellus nearly twisted at those words. She knew why, but said nothing.
“Yeah! I bet all the advice you’d ever have to give would have been the best!” Silverstream remarked, again, Ocellus twisting where she sat.
“Yo…” Gallus said, as he stood there, annoyed. “Don’t want to interrupt the praise game everycreature is doing right now. But I know some of you haven’t heard this joke yet and I want to make sure you all find it funny. Not like I care or anything, but it’s for the grade and… Yeah, me and Sandbar worked on it all night… So, y’know.” He did seem pretty upset that you were getting all the attention when he wanted to make sure his joke worked out. But all night for a joke? Cripes, was it even good? Either way, everyone apologizes and gives Gallus the floor.
He clears his throat, gets a little nervous at first, realizing he had a crowd of seven. But he already knew Sandbar laughed, and he himself loved the joke, so… “Ok, ok, here I go. Soooo, why did the griffon cross the road?”
Wut? A ‘Crossing the road’ joke? Cripes, sad.
“Yona want to know why! Why did griffon cross road?” She asked in excitement.
Gallus puts on a sly look as he extends his talons towards her like an open palm. “I’ll tell ya for twenty bits.”
Everyone but Yona, Ocellus, and you start laughing. Yona was just sitting there, confused. Ocellus looked irked. And to you? Yeah, you get it, buuuuut… Eh.
“What? But Yona don’t have twenty bits, why are you charging Yona for a joke?” Yona asked, confused.
“Er, I… Kinda wasn’t. It’s the joke, because, y’know, griffons are cheap.” Gallus explained as he rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. “Well, four out of seven is ok I guess. Ocellus, you didn’t think it was funny?”
“Erm, not really. It seemed self depreciating to me.” Ocellus explained.
“That’s the point. I wanted a joke that was kind of true about griffons. I just wanted to point out how cheap we were, and Sandbar wondered if the way we make deals could be part of the joke. Well, I thought it BEING the joke would make it really funny. Geez, I really hope that doesn’t affect my grade.” Gallus said as he began to wonder, feeling perhaps now that his joke may have been too much.
“Well, I thought it was really funny.” Smolder said. “Better than my joke. I made a fire pun and nocreature laughed! Ugh, I didn’t even know making jokes would be so tough.”
“Tch, well, I wanted at least more than half laughing. Anon, you didn’t find it funny? I thought you’d appreciate that kinda joke, considering chaos and all that.” Gallus said to you, wondering how he couldn’t make you laugh.
“Er, well, it was pretty good. I just, I dunno, it just didn’t hit the funny bone just right.” Oof, being put on the spot like that. It made you feel pretty bad about not laughing.
Gallus narrowed his eyes at you. Not understanding the joke or having qualms with the morality of it he can somewhat understand. But in his heart, he knew it was funny. “Yeah? Well, why don’t you tell a joke then? I want to hear what you find funny.”
“OH! SO DO I!” Silverstream giggled out. “I didn’t even get what Gallus’s joke meant either. But the way he told it was really funny! I know even if I don’t get Anon’s joke, It’ll be really funny too!”
“Ye-WHAT?!” Gallus looked over to Silverstream, dumbstruck. “You didn’t get it too, really?! Then why did you laugh?”
Silverstream shrugged. “Dunno, like I said, the way you told it was really funny. I didn’t know griffons were cheap. I didn’t even know what griffons were until I met you.” Silverstream then giggled a little as she brought her claws to her mouth. “Hehe, bits. It sounds like butts”
Gallus just leaned back as he brought his talons to his forehead, flabbergasted. “Oh boy, I don’t even know anymore.”
“Well, erm, we can still hear Anon’s joke, right? I’m so so so curious to hear what kind of jokes he likes. I bet they are realllllyyy funny!” Cozy added, laying on her tummy as she rested her chin on her hooves. “C’mon, Anon, pleeeease?”
Heh, so they want a really good joke? You didn’t really have any available, but you could take some inspiration from your human days to cobble one together. Hell, why not just use an antique, not like they ever heard it. “Ok, ok, alright. I’ll do it. So, how about this? There is this one adventurer pony who explores far and wide looking for the next big thrill. He’s a risk taker, he likes things dangerous, mysterious, actiony, with risk and peril. If it’s deadly, then he will defy death itself. Well, one day, he went to Manehatten for some rest and relaxation. During his stay, he ran into a pony who was speaking of something big and grand to a crowd, a possible new and dangerous adventure for him to try. The pony was up on a pedestal, and he said ‘Come one, come all. What I offer you is the biggest adventure of your lives! It’ll be dangerous, it will test your mettle, it will steel your nerves, or it just may drive you insane. What I offer you is a once in a lifetime opportunity to go through what may very well be the most harrowing trial in your existence. So, do we have any takers?’. Of course, hearing all this, the adventurer pony couldn’t resist and made himself known. The showpony immediately acknowledged him and said ‘Great! Here’s my wife, take her’. Haaa! Pretty good zinger, right?”
Gallus tried to hold it in, but he laughed, and Smolder laughed too, and that was it. What made this bad was not only was Ocellus looking at you as if you spit on god, but so was Yona. Sandbar just gasped in horror, and Cozy was just waiting there, as if maybe there was more to the joke. Even Silverstream was stunned.
“Yona not understand why others laugh. That not joke, that insult to ultimate yak-like unity.” Yona said as she looked at you with disappointment.
“Erm…” Silverstream gulped. “Yeah, I… Well, it was different.” Silverstream made a real nervous giggle as she shrugged. She was clearly uncomfortable with the joke, but didn’t want to insult you.
“I agree with Yona. Anon, that was very dark. That’s something I’d expect from an unreformed changeling.” Ocellus said, as if lecturing and scolding you at the same time. “I hope you don’t really think that’s a good joke.”
“Oh? I thought there was more to it. There isn’t?” Cozy asked, confused.
“Yeah, but that’s what made it so funny! Like, woah! You'd think a dragon would come up with that kind of joke.” Smolder applauded. “You guys don’t have to be so stiff, that was good stuff.”
“Yeah, wow, and I thought my joke was mean. Besides, Anon probably doesn’t think like that. Guy has a marefriend, right?” Gallus said, really impressed with your joke.
“Yeah, but… That was still, I dunno how to feel about it actually. It’s kinda funny, but it really is insulting to, like, everycreature who loves somecreature else.” Sandbar said, feeling uncomfortable with the situation.
Cripes, that’s the line?! A wife joke?! Maybe you could have told it better, shorten it. But damn, the fact these guys never heard it should have meant laughs all around. Instead you’re dealing with a bunch of goodie goodies. “Ah, c’mon. It’s a joke, right? Gallus is right, I don’t think like that, it’s just a joke. C’mon, lighten up. I bet Professor Pinkie would have found it hilarious. In fact, I have her class next, I could try telling the joke and see what happens.”
“Mmmmmmm, maybe you shouldn’t.” Silverstream said as she tapped her claws together nervously. “I don’t think anycreature should think less of you.”
“Aww, c’mon, I think everything will be fine.” Cozy said as she hovered up to the ledge of the fountain and turned to everyone. “Golly, you’re all overreacting, I think. Anon is right, it’s just a joke, you’re not meant to take it personally. In fact, sometimes you just need that teeny tiny ‘umf’ to get that laugh. My joke for Professor Pinkie’s was really lame and nocreature even giggled. I bet, if I had the ‘umf’ Anon and Gallus have for my joke, everycreature would have really really laughed lots! We’re all supposed to be friends! We’re supposed to support each other! If you really think Anon is being serious with that joke, then you just don’t understand that jokes can come from anywhere and be about anything, even if it’s poking fun at something.”
“Y’know, Cozy is right, you guys are being real sticks in the lava. It’s not like he said any names or anything like that, it’s just a really funny and surprising joke. Edgy jokes are still jokes, and if you take offense to them, then you don’t get the point at all.” Smolder added, looking to the rest of the group with a stern look as she crossed her arms.
“Yeah, it’s just like my joke. Sure, it’s on the nose, but that’s what makes it so good. Right, Sandbar?” Gallus said as he looked over to him.
“Well, yeah… I did find it really funny. Um, yeah, guys, I think they got a point.” Sandbar said as he came around to their side.
"I’ve been a seapony for so long that I didn’t realize that’s how jokes work. Alright! I’m ok with it!” Silverstream added as she saw their side of things.
“Yona didn’t think of it that way. Yona still think joke is insulting, but Yona also don’t want to be stick in lava, in case Yona also somehow come up with joke that come out same way.” And that’s Yona, leaving only Ocellus.
“C’mon, Ocellus. You know, just like I do, that you have heard a lot worse.” Like seriously, she saw the movies, she was around you and Chrysalis enough.
Ocellus hesitated, but she was clearly outnumbered at this point. She didn’t give in, but it was obvious she was in the wrong. “Well, I still don’t think the joke is funny at all. But I can respect your right to tell it. I’m just saying you should be careful who you tell it to. You never know if it might insult them.”
Bah, what a prude. Have all the changelings become that much of a pussy? Whatever, Scrappy probably would have died laughing from that joke. “Bah, I personally think that if it’s a joke, then you shouldn’t get so wound up over it. Besid-Huh?” And there was the bell, lunch was over, much to Silverstream’s chagrin.
“WHAT?! NO! AGH!” Silverstream yelled out as she hovered upwards. “Class can’t start now! I wanted to hear Anon’s hero stories! Awwww!” Silverstream grew depressed as she let her body go limp in mid air. “Now I’m sad…”
Aww, poor girl, she really wanted to hear your stories and you didn’t even get the chance to tell her one of them. “H-hey, Silverstream, no worries, ok? How about we meet up after school and I tell you a couple stories. But, er, only a couple, I got stuff I gotta do after school.” Yeah, like finally tell Diamond the whole shackles and Chrysalis’s plan thing.
“Really?!” Silverstream gasped in excitement as she flew down and grabbed onto you, hugging you with snuggly goodness. “I can’t wait! Ohhh, you’re so awesome, Anon! You’re the best!”
Ogggh, there were those feelings again. You almost melted in her grip. But your eyes trailed off towards Ocellus’s direction. She gave you an adorable but vicious look, almost protective in nature. Ugh, she knew what was up. You quickly squirm out of Silverstreams grip and act like you had to rush to class. Considering it seemed Gallus and Sandbar were also going to Pinkie’s class, that they would be your classmates this time. You quickly say goodbye to your friends, and head off with them. Laughter class, this should really be piss easy.