//------------------------------//
// I Just Need A Hug... 
// Story: Forever Loved 
// by Script Singer 
//------------------------------//

I sit in my bed, crying from the burning pain on my arms. I knew this habit was unhealthy, but it's the only thing that helps. I stare at the blood oozing down my hoof, unable to look away. 

Even though I have been in the hospital for suicide watch, I still struggled with my depression. I had learned new coping strategies, but none of them really seemed to work anymore. Cutting seems to be the only thing that really helps. 

Cutting myself is the only way I can express my frustration and anger. The only way to say how I feel. It also feels like an addiction. The adrenaline is like a high so I just keep doing it, because the low feels unbearable. 

A knock at my door pulls me out of my thoughts. I slowly get up as I look out the window, finding Pinkie Pie waiting outside. I opened up my window and called out to her. 

"I'll be down in just a moment!"

Pinkie looked up at me and smiled. 

I walked over to my closet picking up one of my light sweaters, putting it on despite the stings from my cuts. The weather is dreadful and hot lately, but I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I put on a fake smile and went downstairs to let her inside. 

Before I opened the door, I took a deep breath as I continued putting on the facade and opened the door. 

Before I could even fully open the door, Pinkie blasts her confetti cannon, blowing confetti in my mane. I just stare at her as she smiles with a cake on her head. 

"Happy one week before your birthday, Scriptie!"

I let out a slight giggle, trying to not let the mask fall off as I straightened out my mane.

"Thanks, Pinkie!" 

"I know you don't like cake, so I made you some ice cream instead!" She pulled out a cup of vanilla ice cream from nowhere. 

I'm never going to understand how she does that… I think to myself. 

"Thanks!" I took the ice cream from her and invited her inside, I sat down on my sofa, Pinkie skipping in behind me, cake bouncing on her head. 

She handed me a spoon before she sat down. I looked at her skeptically. 

"Don't worry, it's clean." 

I slowly took the spoon into my grasp and inspected it with a quick glance then proceeded to eat my ice cream as Pinkie pulled out a fork and ate her cake. 

"So, you made this at home then?" I asked before eating a scoop. 

"Mmhm!" Pinkie said, unable to talk with her mouth full. She swallowed, saying; "It's a new recipe I found from one of Twilight's books, you like it?"

I nodded my head as I swallowed another bite. 

Pinkie is the only pony who can make me smile these days, even if it's short-lasting. I try to hold onto those small sparks of light as much as I can. 

"You know, you really didn't have to come over today." 

"I know, but I just had a feeling I should come and see you!"

"I'm fine," I say as my smile quickly fades into a false one, hoping pinkie didn't notice. I took another bite of my ice cream. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah." 

 "Okay, if you say so."

We then proceeded to finish our desserts. Once we were finished, Pinkie broke the silence. 

"How about we go for a walk? I think we need some fresh air."

"Okay." I shrugged. "I need some exercise anyway."

Not that it really helps with my mood, but it's good to try to stay active. 

We walked outside and started talking a bit. I tried my best to listen and pay attention, but I kept spacing out occasionally. Pinkie's speed talking didn't help too much either. 

The cuts on my leg burned as the fabric rubbed against my coat. I tried to ignore it, but my mind fixated on it. It quickly turned into itching. I rubbed the aria as we continued walking. 

"How has your writing been going lately?" 

I shrugged. "Been kinda slow, haven't had the drive to write lately."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Just a bad case of writer's block I guess." I fibbed. 

"Oh, sorry to hear that, Scriptie!" 

"Nah, it's fine I'm used to it."

"Oh, I think I forgot something at my place, you okay if we stop by and grab it?"

"Sure." 

We then proceeded to walk towards the sweets shop where she lived. 

Pinkie opened the door to Sugar Cube Corner. 

"Why is it so dark in here?" I asked as I walked inside. 

Suddenly, a light turned on and confetti filled the room. 

"Surprise!"

I looked around, finding my friends in the room with party favors and party hats. Pinkie grabbed one out of nowhere and placed it on my head along with a noisemaker. 

I let out a giggle as a small smile grew on my face. I then turned to Pinkie. "You really didn't have to do this, Pinkie." 

"I know, but we had to celebrate with you at some point! After all, you're leaving town soon for a vacation and won't be back for like, a really really long time!" 

I rolled my eyes. "Pinkie, I'll only be gone for a month."

"Yeah, but what if-"

"I won't forget you, or anyone else, and I'll write to you whenever I can." 

Ellie walked over to me, putting her arm around my neck and chuckled. "Come on, Pinkie. Calm down, we're at a party. Let's just focus on celebrating right now."

I smiled at Ellie as a thank you and walked over to my friends to have some fun for the night. 

We played games, like pin the tail on the pony, dunking apples, and my all-time favorite, karaoke. I actually felt like I was happy for the first time in forever. 

After games, we opened presents. I decided to open Ellie's first. I shook the box, trying to figure out what it was. 

"Is it a new Daring Do book?" I asked jokingly. 

Ellie laughed. "You have to open it, and find out!"

I tore off the wrapping paper, one of my favorite things to do with presents, then opened the box finding a new sketchbook. 

"Thanks! I've been meaning to get a new one lately, my last one is almost full."

"Glad you like it!"

"Open mine next!" Pinkie squealed as she handed me a box. I took it and unwrapped it. 

"Oh, sweet! I've been meaning to find an easy recipes book for a while now, thanks!"

Pinkie let out a giggle. "I had a feeling!"

I opened Bookie's next, which was one of the latest mystery books that came out. Radioflash got me a new heart necklace and Lotus Moon got me a new flower hairpiece. 

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Pinkie dashed across the room then back to where she was before. "Lilly couldn't make it, but she left you this!"

I smiled at Pinkie as I took the present from her, opening it to find a first draft of her latest book. I carefully took out the book wrapped in twine and placed it next to my Daring Do book. 

Finally, it was time for everyone to go home. 

I thanked everyone for coming as they left, then walked back inside to rest for a bit. Pinkie sat down next to me. 

"Have fun?" She asked. 

I forced a tired smile. "Best party I've ever had."

Pinkie let out a giggle. 

We sat for a moment in silence. 

"So what happened to your arm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said as I pulled on my sleeve. Pinkie sighed and furrowed her brow. 

"Script, I saw them, let me see." She said as she stared me right in the eyes. "Please."

I sighed in defeat as I rolled up my sleeves, revealing several cuts on my arms. I heard a painful gasp come out of her mouth. 

"S-sorry, I... should just go..." I muttered. 

As I got up, Pinkie grabbed me by the hoof and pulled me back down. I looked away, unable to see the painful look in her eyes. I shut my eyes tight as I began to cry. I felt her pull me into a tight hug, almost like her usual strangling ones, but this one felt different  

It felt warm, almost like a soft blanket, like how Mom used to cradle me whenever I was scared. I slowly wrapped my hooves around her as I felt my walls crashing down. I began wailing at the top of my lungs as my eyes filled with tears. 

"Why does life have to be so cruel?" I sobbed. "I hate it! I hate it so bucking much... I never asked for any of this! I never wanted this!"

Pinkie just held me and gently stroked my mane, listening to me bawl like a filly.

"I might not know how to help you, but I know a hug can go a long way." She said. "But I need to ask you something, Script. Do you plan on killing yourself?”

"I've thought about it…" I sniffed. 

"You wanna stay at my place for the night?" 

I look at Pinkie with a tired smile. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

I then rested my head against her as she wrapped her arm around me. I finally felt like I was at peace and safe. 

"Thanks, Pinkie Pie," I say with a smile on my face.