It didn’t take Lex long to find the source of Egg Basket’s discontent.
The camp had been bustling for the last few days, the long-overdue influx of supplies and food creating a flurry of activity as temporary living quarters were constructed and a makeshift market had sprung up. The attendant celebrating hadn’t entirely abated yet either, with several ponies raising a ruckus as they tossed around a hoofball they’d acquired from somewhere. But the largest commotion, one that had already drawn more than a few of the camp’s population, was being caused by a pair of stallions.
They were both unicorns, tall and somewhat slender, and were quite clearly brothers judging from how similar their appearances were. Both had pale, light grayish olive coats, with their manes and tails being solid red except for a thick white stripe down their centers. They were even dressed the same, with blue-and-white striped shirts, bowties, and boater hats. Only the fact that one had a mustache and the other was clean-shaven served to differentiate them, save for their cutie marks; the mustachioed one had an apple with a slice cut out of it, while the other’s flank had what could only have been the missing slice.
The two of them were apparently in the middle of a musical number, judging from the animated way they were moving in time with each other, one of them excitedly rushing through the crowd of ponies gathered around them while the other leaped on top of a makeshift table they’d constructed, having laid a few planks over what looked like two relatively-flat pieces of rubble from the ruins of the train station. Although Lex was too far away to hear exactly what they were singing, the crowd seemed to be wrapped up in it, prancing and swaying to whatever tempo the duo had set. But he was less concerned with that than he was with what was behind the pair of ponies: a large pile of cloth sacks, several dozen of them from the look of it.
Even as Lex watched, the mustachioed stallion put his forelegs around several ponies in the crowd, saying – or, more likely from how he was still moving in a quick beat, singing – something to them. A moment later, the ponies smiled brightly and trotted up to his counterpart, who leaped down from the table just in time for those ponies to begin piling bits onto it. It was only after they’d turned over a considerable mass of coins that the clean-shaven stallion grinned, a cheerful expression on his face as his horn lit up, floating one of the sacks over to the collection of ponies, who seemed overjoyed to receive it. The brothers didn’t miss a beat, moving in tandem as they began to dance around the crowd, repeatedly pointing at the bags behind them, and a moment later more members of the crowd rushed forward, eagerly thrusting money at the pair.
“You see?” called Egg Basket, who had followed Lex outside. “Those two’re bamboozlin’ everypony, just like I said!”
“It’ll be alright,” replied Garden, having come along as well. “Lex won’t let them get away with this, just watch.”
But Lex didn’t bother to acknowledge Garden’s vote of confidence, increasing his pace as the ponies in the crowd began to turn over their money in greater quantities. The unicorn brothers were only too happy to rake them in, and as Lex grew closer he could just start to hear the tail end of their song over the cheers from the ponies around them.
“So if your belly’s rumbling and you’ve got a lot to do,” sang the mustached stallion.
“When hunger makes your every task a bite more than you can chew,” intoned the other.
“Then have no fear, just look right here, you won’t find these on other wagons, trains, or boats!” they chorused, harmonizing perfectly before breaking into a rapid back-and-forth.
“It’s our vitamin-fortified!”
“Expert-verified!”
“Whole-grain purified!”
“Good-for-your-insides!”
“Flim Flam Brothers super-energizing quality oats!”
The last line was not only sung in unison, but the crowd chimed in as well. The pile of coins on the improvised table was steadily growing larger, but it didn’t escape Lex’s notice how it took several ponies turning over their money before a single sack of oats was dispensed. The sight made him grit his teeth as he stalked forward. “WHAT,” he bellowed, “IS GOING ON HERE?!”
His shout brought the singing to an instant halt, with everypony freezing in place as they turned to look at him, eyes wide. But the unicorn brothers recovered almost instantly. “Why look, Flam,” spoke up the clean-shaven stallion smoothly, “I do believe it’s the pony of the hour himself!”
“I’d say you’re right, Flim,” replied the mustached stallion easily. “The stallion whose name is on everypony’s lips as the savior of Vanhoover and who, if I might add, is rapidly becoming known as quite the ladies’ colt!”
“Lex Legis!” grinned Flim, smiling as though greeting an old friend. He trotted forward, the crowd parting instantly. “I can’t tell you how good it is to finally meet you in person! Ever since we arrived here, we’ve heard nothing but amazing stories about the hero who’s done so much for so many people!”
Flam moved in perfect tandem with his brother, the two of them casually sidling up to Lex. “Indeed! The pony known far and wide for having a fearsome appearance that conceals a heart of gold! Just yesterday, my brother and I heard of your marvelous exploits while we were in Tall Tale, and knew we had to come running to help!”
“And so here we are!” announced Flim dramatically, standing up on his hind legs and gesturing at the large collection of oat-filled sacks. “Together with the freshest and most nutritious oats that we could find, all for the good ponies of Vanhoover!”
“Just like we knew you would have done, had you been in possession of such delectable, and dare I say, sorely-needed source of sustenance!” added Flam. “You’re truly an inspiration to everypony here!”
The crowd seemed to eat up the praise that was being lavished on him, nodding and grinning with each new compliment. But Lex couldn’t have cared less about platitudes from strangers, instead walking right past the pair to where they’d stacked their product. Eyeing the bags for a moment, he lifted one up, testing the weight before he laid it on the table and tore it open, using his circlet to examine them for magical signatures. Finding none, his eyes glowed as he then used his dark magic to enhance his senses, taking in the scent of the oats that spilled out before tasting a few.
The Flim Flam brothers seemed to take this as a victory, grinning as they turned to address the crowd. “You see, folks? Our high-quality oats are so good that even Vanhoover’s hero can’t wait to have some!” crowed Flim.
“Come and get a bag of Lex Legis-approved oats right away, before they’re all gone!” echoed Flam.
“All bags must go!”
“We simply can’t keep them in stock!”
“What do you say, Lex? Aren’t these the finest fare you’ve had this side of the mountains?”
The question, posed by Flim, had everypony waiting with baited breath as Lex finally turned to look at the two. But the expression on his face was one of contempt, regarding the brothers in front of him with undisguised loathing. “These,” he announced, “are ordinary steel-cut oats. The kind you can find in any store across Equestria.”
Both unicorns seemed taken aback by the hostility in his voice, but once again they recovered their poise in less than a heartbeat. “Well not any store, wouldn’t you say?” asked Flam.
“Quite right, brother of mine,” answered Flim. “Why, just look at the state Vanhoover’s in! I’d wager that there aren’t any oats to be found in this town!”
Flam nodded. “And since everypony knows that the farms in this region only grow subterranean flora, and the train service to wider Equestria has been out for weeks, I’d venture that these are the only oats to be found for miles around!”
The crowd was already nodding, but Lex had no intention of letting them continue their travesty continue. “And is that your justification,” he hissed, letting a sliver of his anger leak into his voice, “for charging three hundred bits for a five-pound bag of them, instead of the sixty that they’d cost elsewhere?!”
Although he wouldn’t have called it an emergency the way Egg Basket had, Lex had to admit that the old stallion had been right to bring this to his attention. The farm pony had made it clear how thrilled he’d been to find oats for sale, only for his joy to turn to disbelief when he’d heard how high the singing brothers had raised the price for each bag. Garden Gate had shared his horror, having seen the price of oats back when she and her companions had fled back to Ponyville and concurring that what the Flim Flam brothers were charging was nothing less than highway robbery.
His angry exclamation made both brothers wince, shooting nervous glances around, but they quickly found their smiles again. “Well, we might have been forced to raise the price a little,” admitted Flim.
“But only because of necessary expenses required to bring our product here, where it was sorely needed,” noted Flam. “After all, there were transportation expenses.”
“Finders’ fees.”
“Advertising charges.”
“Bagging costs.”
“So you see, we really had no choice but to raise our rates,” sighed Flim, flinging a foreleg over his head, as though about to swoon. “After all, if we go hungry, we’d end up eating our own product instead of bringing it here where it could do the most good!”
“And besides, everypony here doesn’t seem to mind having to pitch in a little more to help get through the tough times,” smiled Flam, waving a hoof toward the ponies who’d already bought bags, and were now looking back and forth between their purchases and the unfolding altercation. Unlike the unicorn salespony, they were no longer smiling, instead looking like they weren’t sure what to believe.
“A four hundred percent increase in price is not ‘a little more’ by any measure!” snarled Lex, growing angrier by the minute. How could these two be so morally bankrupt?! The ponies that had survived Vanhoover’s collapse had suffered unimaginable hardships, many of which were still ongoing, and yet the stallions in front of him were quite content to treat the widespread suffering that everyone here had endured as an opportunity to make money!
But in spite of his anger, the Flim Flam brothers didn’t seem put off. If anything, they almost looked pleased by his indictment of their business practice. “Well, if you think our prices are too high for the local market to bear, maybe you’d care to purchase these oats yourself?” suggested Flim, grinning slyly.
“We’ve heard that you’ve been, shall we say, banking a lot of money lately,” noted Flam with a matching expression. “We’d be more than happy to sell you our product wholesale, for…how about eighty percent of what we were charging the public?”
“Eighty-five, brother,” corrected Flim. “We can’t forget about our travel expenses.”
“Ah yes, good thinking, brother,” mused Flam, before turning back to Lex. “So, what do you say? Care to live up to your heroic reputation by lifting this burdensome burden off the overburdened public?”
“As we said, we have full faith in you,” added Flam. “After all, you’re well-regarded for your even-hoofed approach to public policy. Why, just imagine what would happen if you weren’t possessed of such penetrating perspicacity! Simply seizing our assets-”
“Or mauling us with magic!”
“-would send a terrible signal to this province’s prospective producers of potential profit!”
“Why, I can almost see the headlines now!” cried Flim. “Local ponies cursed for selling food to the needy, all because one pony thought the price was too high!”
“I daresay nopony would come to sell their wares here then!”
Flam’s melodramatic declaration ended with him and his brother grinning, first at each other and then at Lex, speaking in unison. “So what do you say? Do we have a deal?”
For a moment, Lex was speechless with rage. This wasn’t some instance of two ponies being blinded by greed. They were deliberately and meticulously working to manipulate the situation to their advantage, and were holding Vanhoover’s nascent economic stimulus hostage to do it!
Tall Tale, he realized. They said they heard about me in Tall Tale. Ribbon Cutter had mentioned that the city had recently reopened its rail service; no doubt these two had been among the first ponies back, probably with some other money-making scheme in mind, only to hear about what was happening in Vanhoover. It wouldn’t have been difficult. In fact, it would have been almost impossible to avoid; with Lex demanding right of first refusal on all of the city’s timber exports, all of Tall Tale would have been talking about Vanhoover’s situation. That, and perhaps a few well-placed questions of their own, would have told these two all they needed to know in order to come up with this little scheme.
But just because they’d heard about him from the ponies in Tall Tale didn’t mean they knew everything about what he could do…
“No,” announced Lex.
Flim and Flam blinked in unison. “No?” repeated the former.
“No what?” asked the latter.
“No, I won’t buy your product,” answered Lex, forcing his anger down. As much as he hated to admit it, these two were right. If he lost his temper and cursed them, or even seized the food they were selling, word might get around to other potential vendors. Lex had seen first-hoof how much ponies loved to gossip, and the situation in Vanhoover was still precarious enough that the chilling effect of his taking these two to task could very well imperil the city’s recovery. That couldn’t be allowed to happen.
But that didn’t mean he had to play these con artists’ game, either.
“You’d rather let the public pay for these oats out of their own threadbare pockets?” asked Flim, surprised.
“Doesn’t your civic-mindedness require that you take on hardship for the public good?” echoed Flam.
“The public won’t have to pay for what you’re selling,” responded Lex in measured tones. “And I have every intention of seeing to everypony’s needs. Like this.”
And then he started casting a spell.
Flim and Flam scampered back, their faces turning pale, and the rest of the crowd slowly moved away as well. But Lex wasn’t casting a spell on anypony there. Instead, he had something very different in mind.
Although exiling Severance had cost him the ability to recharge his most powerful magic, Lex still had other forms of spellcasting available. In this case, he was using one of the divine spells that the Night Mare had given him. Specifically, the one that created food and water from nothing. Although he’d cast that spell earlier in the morning to provide for his own breakfast, the reservoir of magic in his circlet was sufficient to let him use it again now. But he didn’t stop there; as he performed the necessary gestures and chanted the liturgical incantation, he slowly channeled additional energy through his body, feeding it into the spell, pushing it beyond its normal limits.
Doing so, he knew, would increase not only the quantity of the food created, but also the quality of it. He’d learned that when he’d done this same thing several days ago, creating a massive banquet filled with myriad foodstuffs for everypony here. But that had been when he’d enhanced himself with a spell to increase his physical endurance, using it to try and augment how much energy he could channel through his body and into the spell, inadvertently touching off a feedback loop that had very nearly killed him. This time, however, he wasn’t using that spell; indeed, he couldn’t, since it was a thaumaturgical one that he didn’t have prepared.
But although he wouldn’t be able to create a massive quantity of food that could feed hundreds of ponies, he could still create a considerable amount like this. And while the type of food wouldn’t be nearly as diverse as before, it would still be notable. Even better, it would mostly be oat-based. After all, it normally made porridge.
And porridge was made from oats.
It took several minutes to finish casting, but when he did the result was exactly what he’d expected. From out of nowhere, plain tables had been created, lined with piping-hot oatmeal, oatcakes, oat muffins, oat bread, and numerous other foods of similar make. The sight was enough to make everypony cheer, rushing over and helping themselves to the unexpected feast, save for the Flim Flam brothers, who stared wide-eyed as their sales strategy was suddenly undercut. The sight was one that Lex found deeply satisfying.
“As you can see,” he smirked, “there’s no need for anypony here to buy your product, myself included. Certainly not at such inflated prices.”
“Well…er…that’s fine,” sputtered Flim. “We can always take our wares elsewhere.”
“That’s right! Oats are Equestria’s most beloved food!” gulped Flam.
“Indeed they are,” added Lex. “Which is why you’ll never make a profit. After all, oats are available in every grocery store across Equestria. Whatever you pay to transport these will be costs that you'll never recoup."
For once, neither stallion had anything to say, glancing at each other miserably. Although he had no ability to intuit other people's emotions, Lex found it easy to guess what they were thinking now. Buying all those bags of oats had undoubtedly cost them a fair amount, since they'd quite clearly purchased them on the retail market in Tall Tale. That meant that they stood to lose a fair amount of money, since they no longer had a venue where their goods commanded high prices.
It was exactly what they deserved, Lex knew. But as much as he enjoyed the sight of them so disheartened, he indulged in it for only a moment. "Now, here's what's going to happen. You will sell me all of those bags, right now, for seventy-five bits each, non-negotiable."
Both stallions' eyes lit up at that. "Really?"
"You mean it?"
Lex nodded, not bothering to elaborate. Although he knew better than to admit it, the camp needed what these two were selling. While he could in theory keep casting that spell every day, doing so wasn't optimal. Any food created by that spell that wasn't consumed within twenty-four hours decayed into inedibility, meaning that it couldn't be used to create a stockpile. Similarly, now that Severance was gone, Lex knew he needed to carefully manage how much magic he used; although his circlet and his divine spellcasting would replenish themselves daily, as did his dark magic, he needed to do everything he could to keep them ready in case some other emergency happened...much like what had happened just now. Particularly since food still needed to be stockpiled, since he was still expecting the population to explode once he started resurrecting ponies.
And, of course, this solution would make sure to encourage future commercial activity, given what loudmouths these two seemed to be. They might not be making the fortune they were obviously intent on, but they'd be walking away with a profit. That would have to be enough.
Apparently it was, since both of them rushed forward to shake Lex's hooves. "Well, I have to say, it's been quite the pleasure doing business with you, my good fellow!" beamed Flim.
"Indubitably!" grinned Flam. "It takes a stallion with scads of sufficient sagacity to find such a stupendous solution!"
"It's impressive!"
"It's inspiring!
"It's what's best for everypony," growled Lex, his good mood falling at the sight of those two's elation. "And once this transaction is complete, it would be best for you if you never tried anything like this again." He let the statement hang in the air, giving both stallions a glare that made their smiles wither. Mollified, he turned and walked past the two of them.
He'd tell Trotsworth to pay those two, and then he had every intention of putting them out of his mind. There were more important things to focus on. One of which was right where he'd left her (Egg Basket having gone to help himself to the feast Lex had conjured up), smiling and falling in behind him as he headed back toward the manor. With a glance, Lex indicated that she should walk next to him instead; now that this so-called emergency had been dealt with, he could go back to what he'd been focusing on before.
"Tell me what happened after you reached Canterlot."