//------------------------------// // Mares, Sex, Zonys, and Zebras // Story: Rarity's Colt: A New Life // by Mocha Star //------------------------------// Snickers sat in class taking notes with a pencil in his lips and he was writing poorly, but still writing. He took pride in his advancements, no matter how small they seemed to be. The end of class bell rang and Snickers left the schoolhouse with his group of fillies following him with Silver Spoon close to his side, but not touching. They all talked in their own conversations, laughed at one another’s jokes when they heard something they recognized, and enjoyed each other’s company all the way to Rarity’s boutique. They entered through the back door and quickly ascended the stairs as quietly as they could so they wouldn’t interrupt Rarity while she worked with a client. Sweetie closed her room door once everypony was in and pranced to Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara to join their conversation. Snicker sat with Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom, lying on their bellies with their forehooves almost touching. Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom noticed and were waiting with bated breath for Snickers to reach the last inch to touch Silver Spoon and let her know she could start to court him. “...and then I saw Twist drop her tomato in the grass and she had to eat the grass to get her tomato,” Snickers laughed with Silver Spoon while Apple Bloom chuckled.  “That’s a good one. And it happened just today? Where was I?” “You were on the swings with Sweetie pushing you and Scootaloo.” Silver Spoon hummed happily. “Yeah, and I was with Snickers and I saw it happen.” Snickers nodded. “Yeah, she’s my witness to the tomato incident,” he pointed at Silver Spoon and set his hoof down. He felt his hoof contact something and noticed he bumped Silver’s. “Sorry about that, I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  Snickers looked up from her hoof to see Silver blushing and smiling. “No, my sweet stallion. I trust you won’t ever hurt me.” Snickers shook his head in resignation. “Not again… Silver, I’ve told you a hundred times that I’m not looking to start a relationship right now and that I’m not a stallion yet. You gotta stop thinking about sex so much and more about what games to play to have fun as a filly.” Snickers reached up and booped Silver’s nose, smirking when the grey filly scrunched her face and wiggled her muzzle to the best of her ability. “Don’t boop me unless you want me to show you how I’m going to boop you, once you take me as your alpha mare.” Snickers’s tail swayed side to side on the floor and his posture told of his annoyance with the filly and her comment. “Okay, if you’re not gonna go easy with the sex talk, I’m gonna have to spend some time away from you to help you cool off.” “You’re the only reason I’m so hot,” Silver said under her breath, just barely audible.  Snickers heard her and stood up, before he could walk past her, Silver Spoon leaned forward and wrapped her forelegs around the closest of his. “No, I didn’t mean it. Well, I did,” she admitted,” but it’s just… like, fillies; am I right?” Silver giggled cutely and Snickers had to admit it was a bit endearing. He relaxed and she let his leg go, looking up at him from a more submissive posture. “Silver,” Snickers said and rested his forehoof on a spot between his eyes, “what are we gonna do if you keep hounding me about this and I actually stop liking you as a close friend and move to a casual friend, or less?” Silver’s right ear drooped as thoughts crossed her mind, then the other joined it and her proud posture slumped away. The others in the room stopped talking and Snickers closed his eyes to control the glare he’d have given the fillies in the room for making him the center of drama once again.  Silver looked up and met his eyes with worry. “Snickers, I didn’t think you’d be so different the first time I saw you. After you hurt me and did that stuff, I wasn’t sure about you at all. Then I saw the toughest colt ever, like in the Ant Crawler series, right in front of me. But, I can’t tame you being the alpha mare, can I?” Snickers cocked his head slightly, quickly decided to talk to Rarity about what he wasn’t understanding, and chose what he thought was the best option. “Silver Spoon, I don’t know what I want yet. I’m not even a stallion; I haven’t started… you know,” he glanced to the fillies that were paying close attention to him. Diamond giggled when she noticed his awkward look. “He means ejaculation, girls! It’s the white stuff that makes babies when his special somepony lets him mount her,” she teased with a wink.  “Ew! Gross, I’m not letting that stuff get near me!”  “Me, too. Mah sis already wants me ta start poppin’ foals out like Ah was a bitch in heat.” “He-he, don’t look at me, I’m not gonna have one of those in me without good reason.” “She has a good point!” “Who? Diamond, or Scootaloo?” “Yes!” “What about in the other holes?” “Like my nose? Grosser!” “How about mouth?” “Butt?” “Butt and mouth?”  “Butt breath!” The fillies all started laughing, leaving Snickers and Silver to themselves for a moment. Snickers shook his head. “Look, I like you. Don’t think I don’t, I’m just not ready to grow up yet. Being grown up sucks, and life in Equestria is way awesome. I don’t want to rush it, because you only get to be a kid once, right?” “But, I can marry you and you can move in with me. I have a really good house and family, you should see it before you make a real choice.” Snickers shook his head. “No, I’ll come over to play, but that’s it. You need to stop pushing me so much for that stuff, or I might not want it when we’re both ready. Haven’t you ever had a pony pushing you to do something you didn’t want to do until you couldn’t stand to be with them?” Silver Spoon’s eyes glazed over and a frown formed on her face; her sightline went to Diamond Tiara. “Yes, she wanted me to play dress up and play ‘taste the jewels’, but the jewels weren’t what I thought she was talking about. She took her turn first and that’s how I learned I wasn’t into fillies the same as she was, but she kept trying to play dress up and I stopped all together at her house.”  Silver looked up to Snickers again and sighed as her gaze dropped to her hooves as she spoke quietly. “Okay, I’m being a total Diamond about this, I guess. But, like, you’re just so… mare-like. You’re strong and confident like my mother, you have such good graces like my auntie, and you always smell like flowers and stallion… and it’s…” Silver inhaled deeply over five seconds and shivered visibly.  Snickers turned his ear to listen to the other fillies and cringed, focusing back on his conversation with Silver Spoon as being the lesser of two evils. “...about drinking it with supper?” “No, cereal!” “Oatmeal?” “What about if it comes out his color?” “Chocolate flavor but white color?” “No, the other way.” “What about when it comes out?” “What’s it taste like, Scootaloo?” “Salty.” “Snickers’s is?” “What about the color of his penis?” “Yeah, will that change anything about the emasculampation?” “Ejaculation.” “Don’t be a dictionary!” “You’re a dictionary!”  Diamond’s voice cut above the gallery. “Snickers, they’re talking about your dictionary over here!” “Quiet!” “Hush.” “He can’t hear us because his ears are the wrong way.” “So?” “So?” “So, he can still hear; he ain’t deaf.” “Penis, penis, penis.” There were giggles around the room and Snickers heard Silver restraining her own. “Silver, go be with the girls, I’m gonna go see mom about Kiwe. He should be in the kitchen starting supper, so I won’t be but a moment, darling.” Sweetie Belle gasped loudly and waved the other fillies into a big huddle. Snickers felt embarrassment after speaking like Rarity, but it was made all the worse when, as he left the room, he was bid farewell with a teasing chorus of, “See you soon, darling,” from a gaggle of giggling girls.  Snickers shut the door urgently and made his way downstairs as quickly as he could, pleased the stairs were oddly long to accommodate the equine body and biology. “Mom?” He called when he entered the quiet showroom. He went to the kitchen, her sewing area, and finally peeked into the changing rooms. “Her room was closed, but she hasn’t been taking care of herself hardly at all since the day I lost my voice and Harmony can go fuck itself… she’s not down here, the basement has, , dirt, so she won’t be there. She must have gone out, but why? And without a note? Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for a little GPS or subdermal tracking implant to find who I’m looking for.” Snickers went to the front door and noticed the sign was turned to ‘closed’. He rushed to his bit bag and took two out, slipped them into the top of his mane where a small cloth kerchief had been placed for ‘politeness emergencies’, as Rarity called them, and went out to the market with the hope of finding a tasty treat to snack on.  The crowd was a bit more subdued when he reached the market and went to a sandwich stand to buy a simple vegetable sandwich to snack on. He went three stalls over to buy a large juice; and with his snack he sat at a picnic table to eat without females endlessly talking about sex and the like. “So, I’m lying on my back, like some Camel Sutra pose, with Dark on top when he moves his hind leg--” Snickers turned his head. “...to wash my tail twice, and I still smelled like her. What if he finds out I was with her? What am I gonna do?” Snickers sipped his drink and looked at the table and his food, his ears turned to another catchy voice. “...can’t put her off ferever, she’s the finest zap apple in the whole orchard. Ah just can’t see her settlin’ down with a mare like me until she--” Snickers flattened his ears to his head and, in the muffled silence, sate his hunger and thirst quickly before getting up and returning the plate and cup to the nearest wash basin to clean them before returning them to the stands he got them from. “Can’t he th’top walking like that?” “Hush, Twist, he might hear you.” “If I can thee hith thiney thmile, he can hear me forever.” “Ugh, you got it bad. Go talk to him, he looks nice.” “No, he’th the one that beat up Thilver Thpoon and Diamond Thiara. Thilver claimed him, tho I have to wait to athk Thilver.” Snickers washed quicker as the nearby fillies talked just below conversation level.  “Silver’s his mare already? Dang, colt moves fast,” the voice giggled with Twist’s. “Jutht wait, he thways hith tail and you can thee hith hangerth. Tho full he’th gotta be ready thoon.” “Twist!” The other filly said with a happy gasp. “You’re just awful.” Snickers picked the plate up in his teeth and balanced the cup on it, rushed to return them, and then noticed that there were only mares around the market. From end to end, mares; talking about what seemed to be the only topic they cared about. A topic he wanted less to do with at that moment than anything he could think of.  “Where’s Kiwe? I need a male in my presence before I turn into a cowering mess.” Wind rushed around him and kicked dust into the air, covering him before he could get out of the way. “Oh, hey sport! How’s it hanging? Get it, cuz you’re a colt?” Rainbow laughed and flew around Snickers. “Dusty, Rarity’s gonna freak when she comes back with her guest and sees you dirty like that.” Snickers looked around and took note of the mares in the area. “Nothing compared to how dirty you are every morning you leave your house.” Rainbow snickered and landed to lean close to him. “At least I wash after I’m done, you probably strut like you have a herd every day of the week.” “At least I’d get real action, not in a solid form for eighteen bits in some Manehattan back alley.” Rainbow puffed her wing feathers. “It was was more than…” she blushed once she realized she slipped and Snickers laughed loudly at her.  “Wow, what creature? Perhaps a gryphon?” Snickers suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows. Rainbow hopped into a hover and looked across the street. “Uh, you win this round, spunky. I’ll see you in a few, I’ve gotta go check something at home quick.” “Yeah, price tag or size?” Snickers shouted when Rainbow took off leaving her rainbow contrail behind her. “” Snickers felt his cheeks tingle and he shook his head at what he’d said. “Not saying that again, nope, nope.” “Oh, and why not, lady killer?” Snickers halted his first step and grimaced. He looked to his side at the grinning green mare. “Uh, h-hi, Lyra. I didn’t see you there.” “I know, I was lying down in the shade reading these music sheets; clearly I was totally hiding behind that one small tree,” she pointed behind herself and Snickers saw several pages lying in an uneven stack, the tree was barely the width of her head and he wondered how he didn’t notice her. “Uh, sorry you had to hear that. I know it’s for a colt like me to talk to a mare like that, and I’ll apologize .” Lyra laughed loudly. “Snickers, you remember I can understand every language, right? From the single night you came to my meeting, when I admitted it to you and the group.” Snickers’s eyes widened in recollection. “Don’t worry, I like a little mare talk now and then, and you look like you walked right into the middle of the market before two in the afternoon.” Lyra snickered. “I remember you saying you don’t know a lot about pony culture, so come lay down with me under the tree and I’ll fill you in on what you walked in to. “Stallions and colts don’t go to the market unless only they can work the stalls between noon and two because that’s lunch time. Since Ponyville is almost entirely female, that means it’s the best time for us to gather and talk about our personal lives with one another and, well, gossip; because we all have our own lives and can’t see one another as often as we like.  “Small town or not, everypony can’t see their friends every day; so, we meet at lunch in the market. Now, silly colt,” Lyra tapped his nose, “don’t go there unless you’re looking for a reason to listen to stories that will certainly make you uncomfortable or have other effects on your body you might not understand until you’re older.” Snickers laid his head on his forelegs and huffed. “Why do I learn stuff after I make a mistake? So much trouble can be fix or passed by if Equestria came with some kind of survival guide to pony culture or something.” Lyra giggled sweetly and Snickers saw the cutest smile on her lips. “Maybe that’s what you’re meant to do with your life. Learn what’s okay and then write it down so other creatures don’t make the same mistakes.” “Or maybe I’m meant to skip stones down a river while wearing a clown hat,” Snickers snarked back. “Cutie marks don’t make any sense, sometimes. And I’m not even old enough to vote, why would anypony take anything I write serious?” Lyra put a forehoof on his foreleg in a platonic manner. “You have to give yourself more credit, as long as you’re honest with yourself and true to what you do, then you can do anything you want. I believe in you; you have to believe in you, too.” “That’s more of your group that I don’t wanna hear! Why can’t I just get a single answer from anypony before I fuck up? I shouldn’t have to help anyone do anything to not do what I did because the should know that doing the thing they did was my fault because I made the mistake and I feel like such a fuck up and I just can’t do anything right and… and,” Snickers sniffled and was pulled into a hug by Lyra. “Lyra, why can’t I understand ponies?  “I try so much, but every filly wants me to be theirs next season, there are almost no colts to hang out with and I’ve only met three in a month I’ve been here outside school. I came looking for the one and… all I found was mares talking about sex. I just want a day without that coming up, is that too much to ask for?” Lyra rubbed the back of Snickers’s neck and her hoof went through his mane, messing up the styling he’d worked on that morning for almost half an hour; but he didn’t care right then.  “Snickers, I’m so sorry. I thought you knew about that, and about how to avoid it… there’s a way, but it can make you uncomfortable at first.” Snickers shook his head against Lyra’s neck. “I don’t care. I need a break from so much sex everywhere I go. I want fillies to stop checking under me, or flashing me and giggling when I see under their tails, and talking about me being their first, and mares and their sexploits.” Lyra hummed a laugh. “Sexploits? I have to remember that one. Okay, I have to talk with Rarity, then. I can’t help you the way you need, but she can with a lot more ease.” Snickers scooted back and looked at Lyra awkwardly. “Ugh, no, it’s not anything sexual. I just have to ask her about casting the spell or finding the right enchantment. “I’ve heard about it, but it’s a mother’s duty to talk to their foal about it. And, I seriously thought you knew; it’s one of those things you don’t know because you just don’t, Snickers. Don’t feel bad. So, should I come with you?” Snickers smirked. “Well, I don’t think I’m old enough, or your type.” Lyra stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s why fillies are so enamoured by you, if you talk like that you’ll have ponies begging to be in a herd with you just to be near them for the chance to talk naughty with a stallion.” Snickers groaned. “I’m not a stallion!” Lyra got up and took her musical notes in her magic, rolled them, and slipped them into a bag she had set behind the tree. “C’mon, I think I saw Rarity about ten minutes ago with Zecora heading out of town with,” she looked side to side and made a full turn around to check for any large horses before leaning closer to whisper, “Kiwi.” Snickers furrowed his brow. “His name’s Kiwe, ‘key-whey’, got it? Don’t let me hear you mess up his name again, or else.” Lyra leaned back from his expression, adult or filly, there was a respect held for colts and stallions she couldn’t deny overtook her. She nodded twice and turned away, forcing herself to break away from the heated look he was giving her. Snickers noticed her tail lower than it usually seemed to be and her head was dipped a bit, her ears were certainly a bit turned back, too.  He was learning a lot about pony emotions through their body actions, and she was acting like a scolded filly. “Lyra?” “Yes, Snickers?” She answered with one ear turning back to him.  “I’m sorry I was mean a few seconds ago, I wanna be your friend and didn’t mean to be that way. You’re a really nice mare and I’d like to go to your group again, if you’d let me.” Lyra’s posture lifted and she looked back at him. “Really? You’ll come back? Because I would like to see better attendance and less creatures hiding in cloaks. Anyway, I appreciate it, either way and I’ll take you to where I saw them last, but if they went into the forest, I’m not going after them and neither are you, got it, Crusader?” “Yeah, I get it. Show me the way, oh mighty way shower,” he dipped his head curtly and they both shared a sarcastic laugh.  Lyra quickly led him around town and to the area the catapult had been before it was moved to the lake area when they saw Rarity walking back by herself. Lyra hopped up and reared so she could wave to Rarity and together, Lyra and Snickers galloped to the posh mare. “Darlings, whatever are you doing out here? Oh, my; is everything well at home, Snickers?” “No, mom, honest! Everything’s fine, nothing’s out of the ordinary and nothing’s bothering me, because I’d tell you if it was.” Rarity looked deadpan at Snickers, then kindly at Lyra. “Would you be a dear and tell me what’s really happening?” “Sure,” Lyra looked at Snickers for a split second. “He was feeling lonely for a colt to hang out with so he just got away from the market; it’s one o’clock, by the way,” Rarity gasped behind her hoof and looked apologetically at Snickers. “And then he let me know about how the fillies and mares make him… I guess uncomfortable is the right word, so I told him about the want not-see not spell.” Rarity nodded in understanding. “I know of it, but I wonder if it’s what Snickers really needs. He’s not at the age where he’s affected the same as a stallion or mare would be, and he gets along so well with the fillies in his herd that it’s bound to come to light regardless.” “I’m not in a herd, mom! I told you I broke it up after Harmony jacked off in my dreams and tried to change my brain.” “Well, that’s certainly a… unique way to phrase what happened. And, my little prince, could you not bring up our little shared vision? It was quite upsetting. Lyra, are you okay?” Snickers looked aside to see Lyra looking down at him with sparkling eyes and biting her bottom lip. Lyra looked at Rarity and snerked. “That is so adorable! You call him your ‘little prince’? I love him even more now,” she said wrapping him in yellow magic and pulling him into a tight hug. “Aww, who’s a great little prince from another world? You are… yes you are.” Rarity forced Lyra’s magic from Snickers and pulled him towards herself with a disappointed look. “Lyra, I’d thank you to not talk to my son as though he were some common house pet, and to use decorum when using your magic on a foal with his past and present issues with the world at large.” Lyra was a bit crestfallen and hurt, but accepted the accusations. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I just heard that little name and he’s so cute that it just overwhelmed me. I won’t lose control like that again, honest. Filly Scout’s honor.” “You were in the Filly Scouts?” Rarity asked. “Oh, hey, it’s time for me to meet Bonbon at the shake shack. Catch you two later,” Lyra turned on a hoof and galloped back to town.  “Mom, why are so many ponies just so weird?” “I truly don’t know, Snickers. But, they’re not as awkward in larger cities as they are in small towns.” Snickers nodded. “Yeah, different strokes for different folks.” Rarity released her magic holding him and he fell onto his rump with a groan. “That’s for using uncouth speech again. And, what is on your shirt? I helped you dress this morning while Kiwe cooked breakfast, and you come home with grass stains and mud around your cuffs,” she walked around him giving him a complete once over naming everything off about his already limited outfit. “Mom,” Snickers moaned for several seconds until Rarity stopped. “Where’s Kiwe? I wanna have boy time, I can’t be around girls right now. Fillies are just as bad as mares, sometimes. I said the most normal thing and Silver went into her eternal love for me, then Diamond made a joke, and then all of them were talking… just…” he fell to his side and dug his forehoof into the soil. “I need a boy to play with.” Rarity bit back a scolding at his further messing of his custom shirt, a joke at how she could use a boy toy herself, and the desire to drag Snickers to the spa and give him the deluxe works again, but this time she’d make sure he got the adult treatment including imported mud mask facials, having his ears deep cleaned, and making sure he got a full body massage without any frisky business… at least not while he was in the room.  “Ugh, Snickers… there’s a reason I go to the spa, and seeing you being so messy is one of them. Come along, darling. I’ve sent Kiwe with Zecora to catch up at her hut; why, when Zecora found out I had come across Kiwe she was quite thrilled and it turns out that they are related by blood. Can you believe it?” Snickers got up and moved into place by Rarity’s side and slightly back, listening to her talk more attently now. “It seems as though zebra’s are quite nomadic, like the ponies of olde, but they are quite intent on keeping family logs with one of their two cities across the Zebracan continent.  “Zecora has a third cousin from a tribe that crosses with her former tribe that knows Kiwe’s mother and her family. From what little I was able to glean from Zecora’s rhyme speech, Kiwe went to find his father and destiny just over a year ago and had been thought lost to the world in some adventure; which is a clever way to say they hoped he wasn’t in the Great Meadows. “Hm, I wonder if Zebra believe in the Great Meadows, which are also called the Pastures Beyond, as a place for an afterlife. Minotaurs, so I’ve heard, speak of joining the Mighty Minos, Unas of Lazo, Lord of the labyrinth,” she said in a quiet bellow and chuckle. “They are quite big on titles and pomp. “Now, the gryohons believe in… what was it? It’s only referenced in a couple of books I’ve read, none of the romantic ones, either. Well, the history is a bit lost on me, but I do know they believe that their duty is to live honorably and when they pass on, they go to a quite confusing world of their own that hosts any ecosystem they want and they hunt and start a new family with the lost souls of other creatures worthy of them… and so on, and so on.  “It’s quite a romanticized view of what we believe, but they are predators to our prey; so many things won’t exactly cross over as easily understood. Have I told you I actually met a gryphon here in Ponyville? She was far from my first gryphon, but at the top of the rude list of all time. Why, she even made Fluttershy cry for simply walking some ducks through town. The nerve of some hens,” Rarity snorted. “Wow, that bird sounds like a real… wet blanket. Did you sew her into a dress lined with chain metal so she couldn’t get out of it and had to run away like a wild grafnal?” “What in Equestria is a ‘grafnal’?” “Oh,” Snickers thought of the mental image of the creature he thought of. “Well, imagine a rat the size of a filly without a tail, omnivorous, six legs, four eyes, and loves to cuddle the creature it bonds itself to. Uh, kinda like a weird spider dog that’s scared of everything until it’s domesticated.” Snickers heard Rarity retch and cover her mouth with a hoof. “Ugh, that sounds like an absolutely horrid monstrosity. I hope you never had one going after you, did you?” “Going after… mom, it was my favorite animal,” he said flatly. “My last one’s name was Gallagher, after some ancient jester that played to the crowds.” Rarity swallowed exaggeratedly. “Well, I hope this comedian was better than the creature you had.” Snickers shrugged, smiling internally. “I chose the name because when I got Gallagher, he jumped onto this mouse that scared my mom and the mouse popped like a paint filled balloon across the dinner table when the Grand Taxier was collecting his dues. It was all over him and the heart was still beating on his fat nose. I almost peed laughing, especially when my mom offered to cook the little rat for a tax break that year.” Snickers stopped and looked up to find out why Rarity had stopped. He wasn’t expecting her to actually change color as she became more and more ill. She turned to her right and ducked her head into the nearest bush to vacate her stomach. Snickers watched and his good mood fell quickly. “Mom, are you okay? Did I say something, again? Mom, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sick; I was just trying to be funny and this wasn’t supposed to happen.” Snickers rested his forehoof on her back and moved in small circles to comfort her as best he could. Rarity spit and coughed shortly after she started, then backed out of the bush and cast a spell encasing the greens in a blue field of energy. “Snickers, come along. I am in more need of the spa than I thought I was.” Trying to save the moment, he tried another joke. “So, do you think you’re pregnant from that vision we had?” Rarity snorted with a short nicker. “I’d hope not, lest I find a way to have a piece of my mind with them and demand restitutions.” “Uhm… good plan?” Snickers said, not sure of how to respond. “Yes, I believe it is, too. Now, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t speak of gore and vicera in such detail; it clearly makes me ill to think of the innards of the food I am required to eat. Thankfully in small portions and without knowing what actually happened to the meats before they reach my sight.” Snickers shook his head and stayed quiet until he got to the showers in the spa. “Mom, are Zebra’s bad?” Rarity looked back at Snickers and stopped washing her mane. “Why would you think that?” “Well,” he said waiting for his tail to be cleaned from a second shower head in the stall, “I haven’t seen or heard of them besides Zecora, and now Kiwe. And what I heard was they’re evil enchanters that dance around their cauldrons to put ponies into trances before they… sacrifice them to their dark gods.” Rarity snickered, then giggled, then laughed loudly enough it echoed in the small room. “Oh, darling, that’s priceless. It seems Pinkie’s little song still floats around out there… she didn’t tell you that about Zebra’s, did she?” Snickers shook his head. “Well, they’re little different than any pony; much in the same way you are from ponies.  “There are cultural differences, to be certain, but they’re certainly not sacrificing entranced creatures to various gods for nefarious purposes. Once you meet Zecora, you’re sure to like her as much as we did when we first actually met her and spent some time over tea having a nice talk between the lot of us.” “Oh… um, okay then. I guess it was just a rumor then, and that’s good.” “Indeed it is, now was your coat at least once. You needn’t do more than rub down with water since the girls at the spa will take care of all your other needs.” Rarity noticed him smirk just a little. “None of that until you’re older, young stallion; so put it out of your mind.” Snickers coughed and sputtered water he’d inhaled. “Wh-what? They actually do… that stuff? Sex at the spa?” Rarity was under the water and letting it tickle inside her ears. “Of course, it’s not a brothel by any means, but for a dozen bits a pony can have a little extra stress relief.” Rarity sighed quietly. “However for a stallion it’s practically free compared to a girl’s needs. Anyway, don’t worry about that until you’re a several months into being an adult producing seed for a lucky mare’s needs.” Rarity giggled and blushed slightly. “Why, you may even have other patrons offering to help; I remember when I was younger and I talked Big Mac into coming to the spa. I had to help three other mares…” she opened her eyes and through the water cascading through the mane across her face, she saw the slack jawed water logged expression Snickers was giving her. “Ahem, I apologize for that. “I tend to spend more time with other mares and I let slip some inappropriate talk that you shouldn’t have heard.” Snickers blew air from his nose sending water misting away. “No, tell me about how you and three other mares got another stallion off in one of the rooms I’m going to be in. It’s a total normal thing to put into a kid’s mind that he might be lying on the same chair or table another stallion came all over.” “Snickers, I apologized and I hope you understand that I mean it. Just, put it out of your mind and we’ll go on as though I said nothing.” Snickers grumbled and ducked back under the water to further muffle his unhappy words until Rarity turned the water off. She helped him dry off until he was damp, then don his robe and they went to the hot tub first. Snickers took the time to swim from one end to the other with growing skill while Rarity let the hot water do its job and soothe her body. Together, the two went through massages that focused on Snickers’s back and sides; Rarity made sure to take a moment to speak with her masseuse in whispers before Snickers was taken to the grooming room and left to have his coat brushed and hooves buffed. When his hooves were done but his left forehoof Rarity arrived and flopped onto the chair next to him.  “Well,” she said breathily, “how goes your grooming, my little prince?” “Did you just… you know, in there?” he motioned with his head back the way she’d come from.  Rarity rolled her eyes and let the mare that had followed her start brushing her coat. “Everypony does it, I just had a little help this time. Oh, don’t give me that look. I had to tell you to wash your forelegs when you were done the first time, just wait until it gets messy.” “Don’t make me think of that, it’s gonna be terrible, I can already tell.” Rarity tittered. “Whyever would you think that?” Snickers narrowed his eyes at her. “Three fillies want my foal already, mares are gonna be begging me to do stuff with them, I don’t know how long I’ll last either, so that’s a big problem. From what I hear, it’s not very impressive for the mares so that’s why stallions have to do so much more work… I mean, less than a minute? Really?!”  Rarity hushed him and noticed he was the center of attention. “Well, since you wish to bring it up; maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of sex to reproduce? Fun is for mares to have, stallions just can’t keep up and that’s a sad truth.” There were several quiet agreements from around the room.  “Bah, , I used to go for half an hour at the worst of times!” All the mares and the single stallion employee’s mouths dropped open, but Snickers didn’t notice. “I can’t believe everything’s so screwed up here,” he snapped and dropped his head to the pillow with his eyes closed.  A din of whispers turned to conversations about how long stallions tended to last with a minute and a half being the winner and belonging to a pregnant mare having her horn filed. “...but even then I had to be on top in that weird way that’s like sitting, and I had to stop every few seconds to keep him from finishing. But, I have our foal and we’re both happy.” “Well, I’d love for a stallion to last long enough to let me do the things they write about in those romance books. Instead I have to use toys to get that release and, dammit, it’s never the same as the feeling of a stallion’s cock hitting my womb!” “Madam, please watch your language. There’s a foal in the room, a colt at that.” “I don’t care, he started it and clearly knows about sex from some books or something. I want to talk like a mare right now and I want to talk about feeling an orgasm with a real stallion in me, not some magical dildo or enchanted construct. The only time I’ve ever orgasmed with a real stallion was when I was eight and in my spring season. “I was on my herbs and potions and had to take care of myself before I let the stallion mount me and give his three thrusts to finish us both off. It’s a travesty, is what it is.” Rarity scoffed loudly enough to be heard. “Well, we can’t blame our ancestors, now can we? Being hunted like mice by hawks they only had a few seconds to do the deed, lest they be attacked by a lion or something.” “That’s no excuse for now! Why don’t they make a potion so stallions can last longer?” “Yeah, I agree.” “Me, too.” “I wanna cum with a stallion, not before or after.” Snickers pressed his ears to his head and tried to shut the conversation out. Finally he whinnied and got the attention of the room. “Ladies, look… being a guy isn’t easy in the first place. For some reason, I’m treated like the last glass of water for a hundred leagues in a desert and I don’t get it. “I’m actually tired of it, okay? I don’t want to take sides, but seriously,” he said loudly and his voice cracked, “I kinda get why guy wanna be done quick; with every mare hounding them for sex all the time it’s enough to make me wanna run to away and find some secret town without any girls at all.” He flopped back down and pressed his ears to his head, ready for the arguing about sex to begin again. To his curiosity the sound of sniffling and crying reached him instead. He sat up and looked around the room, seven mares looked at him with tears running down their cheeks. Even the employees were looking at him sadly.  Once one started crying the rest began and only Rarity barely held back the sobs that racked her body like she was being jumped on from behind. The only other stallion in the room sulked out quickly and added to the wonder of what he had said to cause all this. Snickers opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say, so he closed it. Rarity got up and took the file from the floor the mare caring for him had dropped and set it on the chair. “Let’s go, I think you need to know a story and Cheerilee can tell it best of any of us.” Snickers got up and walked out the short way to the lobby leaving the sad scene behind him, his own body showing the signs of sadness by the time they reentered the warm summer air. “Mom, what happened in there? Is it because I yelled, because I’m sorry if it was my fault. I’ll go back and say I’m sorry so you don’t get banned.” Rarity hugged him with a foreleg. “Hush, my little prince, hush. Nothing is your fault… you just said something that reminded us all of a dark moment in our history and you clearly don’t know about it. What’s worse, is it seems it may be happening again,” she said dourly. “Come along, I believe she’s in the market and will be more than willing to help you learn a bit about pony history.” *** Snickers sat in his room looking at the ceiling from his position leaning against his bed. Quick hoofsteps pattered down the hall closing in on his room and a striped maned colt entered his room. “Snickers, it is great to see you after such a long day; do you have anything you wish to play?” Kiwe practically pranced past the glum colt and carefully slid his saddlebags off his body and turned to them. “My cousin it turns out live in the Everfree, it was she who gave these to me. I have a pestle and mortar, a book as well. I had a great day, it was truly swell. Had you been there you would have seen that my cousin, regardless of how distant, is quite keen.” “Yeah, good for you,” Snickers said, looking back up to the ceiling.  Kiwe stopped unpacking and looked at Snickers. “Oh… are you okay? Please, tell me what is wrong and I will do what I can to make it better.” Snickers clicked his tongue. “Do you know about the day of a thousand sorrows?” “Yes, why do you ask? Ah, you have only just learned of it, haven’t you?” Snickers nodded. “Yeah. I’m doing a shit job being a good pony to you on your second day here, aren’t I? I should be running around,” he gestured with a foreleg, “playing stuff and teaching you which filly smells the best, or whatever the shit.” Kiwe’s voice was kind, but firm, “What you learned should not affect your attitude in such a way, if you do not wish to do so, then we do not have to play.” “That’s not it, Kiwe,” Snickers practically snapped. “I fucked up again. Every damn week I can’t not fuck something up. I made a dozen mares cry because I said something that was a horrible even in pony history without knowing it. Now they all think I said it to hurt them and I bet they hate me and are telling everypony in town to stay away from me.” “Must I slap you to bring you to your senses? What you are saying is foolish, Snickers, and you must stop.” Snickers looked up and felt the crown of his head bump the bed. “Just punch me in the throat and save the world the trouble.” Kiwe gasped and stepped back, looking at the exposed colt across the room from him. “I will never do such a thing without cause, and your feelings at the moment do not count. Shall I get your mother, because you speak of concerning things.” “Why bother? She was there and took me to the teacher so she could tell me, now she knows I didn’t know and is probably telling everypony about me being ignorant of that too.” Kiwe growled. “Stop this at once, my friend. I will not see you at your end, you will get on the bed and talk to me, or by Celestia I will kick your inner tree.” Snickers slowly lowered his head to look at Kiwe. “My what?” Snickers looked at Kiwe and followed his line of sight down his underbelly. “Oh… fine.” Snickers lethargically turned around and climbed up the side of the mattress with ease, ever since Apple Bloom had shown him where to plant his hooves it wasn’t a problem. “Showoff.” Kiwe hopped up without any trouble and landed on the bed with all four hooves by the time Snickers had gotten his last leg up. “You can do the same, I can teach you if you wish.” Snickers raised an eyebrow ever so slightly and the corner of his mouth twitched into a fraction of a smile that Kiwe noticed. “Whatever.” “Tell me, my brother, what bothers you so much you would ask for death over a comforting hug?" Snickers lay his chin on his forelegs. “I used to be a lot older and experienced, but I always made little mistakes and got yelled at a lot. I would be punished in a lot of different ways, some worse than others, but in the end I was always told what I did wrong and how to fix it from happening again.  “Now that I’m here, I don’t know anything about anything that everyone else does. I keep making huge fuck ups and being told what I did wrong, but not how to fix them from happening again. Then I do something like it again and again, and I have to learn what I’m doing wrong by being the most messed up kid in the country. “Before my birthday next spring, I think I’ll be banished from the whole planet and have to live on another planet at this rate.” Kiwe couldn’t help but laugh. “That is a very good imagination you have, but here is what I feel will happen. You will get lots of hugs, candy, treats, and affection for what you’re feeling at this moment. You give not only yourself, but ponykind too little credit. I don’t say this to placate you, but as the truth.  “Every creature is more kind than you seem to believe, and even you are kinder than you feel you are. You helped me come into your home and accepted me right away, as though we were longtime friends or penpals. You introduced me to the fillies in your life that you care about most and I see your willingness to protect them to almost any extreme. “You’re a good colt, you just have to believe you are and know that learning is part of growing up.” Snickers sat up and blinked several times quickly. “Wow, you just overloaded my brain, I think. Are you sure you’re not an adult, that was really smart and stuff.” Kiwe chuckled. “Nay, brother. Come, let us go and I shall introduce you to my distant cousin, Zecora. She will like to meet the colt that helped to save my future from one with such a shady past.” “Woah, she’s here? Like, downstairs; right now?” Snickers asked, becoming apprehensive.  “Well, it would be most rude to have her wait outside to meet you.” Kiwe hopped to the floor and was followed distantly by Snickers. “Are you sure she’s gonna be cool with meeting me?” Kiwe looked back and his horn lit, grabbed Snickers by his collar, and pulled him to his side. “Walk with me and know no fear, for you are a friend I hold very dear.” Snickers bristled at the feeling of his coat being rubbed by Kiwe’s, then it quickly turned to a relaxing sensation; just like when he was with his girls he was comforted in a way. Snickers and Kiwe walked in step down the stairs and into the kitchen to meet Zecora.  “Ah, and who is this? You are Snickers, if I didn’t know any better. It is going to be cold soon, but don’t you like this weather?”  Snickers looked Zecora over and smirked. “You rhyme better than Kiwe,” he said, giving his friend a playful elbow to his ribs. “As though you are one to talk, if you cannot do, then take a walk,” Kiwe stuck out his tongue to punctuate his comment. “Hear me now, cousin of mine. There is more to life than speaking in rhyme. Climb the mightiest hill you will ever see, and find yourself alone because of what you said when you were as tall as my knee. There is a lesson to be had in everything you do, lest you lose a friend when you need one, or maybe two.” Kiwe lowered his head in respect. “Yes, Zecora. I apologize for my offense, Snickers. I hope you forgive me.” Snickers looked between the adult zebra and colt beside him, then to Rarity as she sipped some tea with a content smile. “Okay, sure. I forgive you for what you said… uh, let’s be friends and... break some bread.” There were polite chuckles around him, but Snickers was proud he managed a rhyme, regardless. Zecora waved Snickers closer to herself and he waited. “Why do you hesitate friendly colt, is there something I said that makes me seem like a dolt?” Zecora’s smile brought a smile to Snickers’s face. “Uh, no, it’s nothing like that. Um, Miss Zecora,” Snickers rubbed his right foreleg with his left and his ears lowered, “I’m sorry because I said something mean about you because I thought it was what I should have said, but it was really bad for me to have said it and… I understand if you find out and are upset, but I really am sorry.” Zecora hummed a quiet laugh. “Do you mean when you spoke ill of me and my kind to the green mare with a lyre on her behind?” Snickers felt shocked, but nodded weakly. “She and I are friends for nearly a year, after I was accepted into town and given a pear,” she shrugged and looked at Rarity. “Yes,” Rarity interjected, “it was quite odd, but Mayor Mare presented Zecora with a pear at the festivities. It turns out that Ivory Scroll, that’s the mayor’s name, if you were wondering, was put on the spot and grabbed the first thing she could when she was pulled from her office.” Zecora laughed. “Yes, I recall that moment quite well. ‘And to welcome our new friend, a fruit that we do not sell.’” Rarity joined in the laughter with Zecora. “Y-you see, ponies in Ponyville don’t sell pears on principal because of the Apple family and some falling out they had with pear farmers a generation back. Ivory has a taste for them and offered it as a gift because, ahem, ‘Like our new friend, we will not sell her short any more than we will sell pears in this town.’” Snickers and Kiwe shared an unimpressed look while the mares enjoyed the laugh they had. “Oh, how good it is to laugh and be merry in such a way, I wish I could stay for the rest of the day. But, as it just happens to be there is a lot of work back at my home for me. Cousin Kiwe, before I go; is there anything else you would like to know?” Kiwe tapped his chin. “I do not believe so, but I wish you could stay. Family is hard to come by with mine being so far away.” Snickers moved aside when Zecora stood up and he had to crane his neck to see her since she was a few inches taller than Rarity. “I would like to stay and will come back as I must, but in Rarity’s hooves do you I entrust.” Kiwe reared and stood on his hind legs to hug Zecora. “I will miss you with each rising sun and setting moon, may your spirit be pleasant and as calm as floating bamboo.” “And may your travels be smooth and your belly full,” Zecora playfully swatted Kiwe’s rump, “and do not hesitate to find a nice girl.” “C-cousin?!” Kiwe stumbled back and fell onto his flank. “I am not seeking a girl to love, I have more travels to make and must be free as a dove.” “And even the most free bird must roost some day--” “For me that time is far away,” Kiwe interrupted.  Zecora let out a loud belly laugh and moved swiftly to pick him up into a hug. “I will return in two days to check on you, stay safe, stay healthy, and stay true.” Kiwe let out a choking sound and inhaled when Zecora relaxed her grip on him. “I shall, cousin. I will miss you, but it will not be very long with friends like Snickers by my side.” Zecora smiled at the colts. “I must take my leave. Rarity, would you walk with me?” “Certainly, darling. You two wait here for a moment, I need a mare’s minute with Zecora.” Kiwe went to the fridge while Snickers sat where Zecora was sitting. He noticed it was warm still and smelled spicy and aromatic like tea he’d never sampled. Snickers blushed when he realized what he was smelling and debated running from the room or accepting the fact he really liked how Zecora smelled. It reminded him of his mother’s cooking in a comforting way. Pans and pots clattered bringing Snickers back to reality in time to watch Kiwe hold two small pans in his foreleg while a pot rested on the frog of the hoof on the same foreleg. Kiwe moved without trouble and slid each onto its own burner and with a spark of magic the fires were lit. A knife began chopping vegetables, some oil dribbled from an oil flask into a pan, and water collected into a sphere that was carefully lowered into the pot. “” Snickers said watching the dance occuring around Snickers as it happeend. “What was that, Snickers?” Rarity chided.  “Ah! Oh, nothing! I was just complimenting Kiwe under my breath, honest.” Rarity hummed. “Yes, well… I heard that word again ‘’, and that’s a bit in the jar.” “Wha- but, mom! I didn’t say a single bad word just now!” Rarity shook her head. “I know the game you’re playing because I did the same when I was learning basic Prench. You didn’t say a bad word because I didn’t understand it, or because it wasn’t in Ponish. But, you still said it and you were caught. So, please go put a bit in the jar.” Snickers puffed his cheeks in frustration, then hopped to the floor and stomped to his saddlebags in the next room. The sound of a coin being added to an already stable pile grated on his nerves, so he added several more and felt better with each bit he added to the jar. “Snickers, I said only one bit. There’s no paying for what you might say, young stallion.” “I’m not, mom,” Snickers said after he dropped another bit into the jar and his mouth was free, “that’s for what bad words I’ve said over the past couple days. So now I’m even and you can buy me an ice cream when you break this open to repaint the boutique in a couple weeks.” Rarity smirked. “A bit ambitious, aren’t we?” “Nope, just expecting something to happen that’ll cost me all the donated bits I’ve earned from the Pony Launcher and I’ll swear so much that a mare might get pregnant from what I’ll end up saying.” Rarity tugged his ear with her magic. “That’s not the way a stallion should talk about mares.” Snickers wished he had active magic manipulation to do the same to her right then. “But mares talk about it, so that’s okay?” Kiwe opened an eye to peek at the family’s bickering and smiled until his concentration waned and he lost some onion slices before they could make it into the sautee pan.