“...Please, Starlight! I told you ‘I’m sorry’ like a million times! Do I still have to wear this sign?”
“Yep! Twilight, you agreed to wear it for a month to make up for last week and in return, I'll keep what happened from Princess Celestia!”
“I know it's only been a week, but it’s becoming too embarrassing! I'm a princess, and princesses aren’t supposed to be seen wearing things like this, so can’t you let me take it off now? Pleasssse?”
“NO! You are keeping that on for another three weeks!”
There was serious begging occurring in Princess Twilight Sparkle's Castle of Friendship.
In the center of the library of her castle, Twilight, a lavender Alicorn, was pleading for forgiveness from Starlight Glimmer, a violet Unicorn. Twilight's ears were drooped and she was lying on her stomach at Starlight's hooves, looking up at her friend, with an "interesting” sign on her chest. With an intense scowl, Starlight glared down at Twilight. Usually, the smell of the books on the bookshelves lining the library's walls would ease Twilight, but not at this moment.
It is rare that Twilight and Starlight argue. It is even rarer that Starlight would choose to hold a grudge against somepony, let alone Twilight, her close friend and former teacher. Today, however, was a rare time that the normally super-forgiving Starlight refused to let things go for the time being.
How bad did Twilight Sparkle screw up? Well, sit back and let this underpaid narrator sum up to you what that adorkable pony did last week.
Wait, some of you are already sitting down? Well, okay then, let's continue.
Last week on Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight cast a spell that would make everypony in Ponyville that she thought was cute ask her out on a date; she was too shy to request them herself. There were a lot, all mares in fact, and Starlight was one of the mares affected by Twilight's spell. No complaints from me about Starlight Glimmer being cute.
But anyway, the spell backfired; it caused the mares to chase after not Twilight, but Queen Chrysalis. The Queen, or ex-Queen I guess, happened to pick that time to "visit" Ponyville to feed on love and to get revenge on Starlight for (in Chrysalis's words) stealing her hive. Chrysalis didn’t handle the attention well, and she eventually fled Ponyville while on the verge of going crazy from it.
And you thought the legendary “Want it, Need it” spell fiasco was bad!
“What if I teach you some new spells? You love learning new spells, right?” Twilight proposed with a smile, hoping her adorkableness would allow Starlight to relent.
It did not.
Still glaring down at Twilight, Starlight shook her head. “Not this time. As bad as what you’re wearing is, what your spell made me do was worse! And another thing: even if I didn’t interrupt you when you were casting it, you should’ve known love spells has too high a chance of backfiring for anypony but Princess Cadance to cast! Even I know that!”
“Fine, but kissing...Chrysalis couldn’t be that bad!”
Starlight growled. Even though she wasn’t in control of herself and had limited awareness of her actions when the spell affected her, she remembered enough to feel angry about it. “Not that bad...Twilight ‘Romance’ Sparkle, because of your spell, my first kiss was with QUEEN BUCKING CHRYSALIS! I’ll prefer losing my Cutie Mark over that! Worse, my first kiss was supposed to be a magical time for me, and you ruined it, breaking the sacred filly code!”
“Well, maybe Chrysalis wasn't the...best option for a first kiss, but she couldn’t have been that bad, she is a queen. Besides, I hate to bring it up, but you ruined Equestria with a spell before, remember?”
Starlight groaned. Under normal conditions, she would have yielded to Twilight's point, but this wasn't a "normal" condition. “Okay, first, it didn’t do the second-worst crime that a mare can do: break the filly code. Second, I only wanted to ruin your friendships, not cause the apocalypse. Three, I was going through a phase back then. And four, it was just that one time, Twilight!”
“Uh, seven times. You changed the past for the worse seven times before you took my hoof.”
The correction softened Starlight’s scowl. “Okay, seven times, but still--”
“But I forgave you for that immediately, so why can’t you let this go now?”
Starlight closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, then opened her eyes again. She needed to say her next words calmly to most effectively make her point. “Okay, Twilight, let’s say I cast a spell that made your first kiss be with Lord Tirek instead of destroying Equestria. Now, even if I cried at your hooves and begged for mercy, where would you have put me for causing 'Tireklight'?”
Twilight’s pupils shrank. She gulped, bit her lip, and looked away. She was hoping Starlight wouldn’t ask this kind of counter-question. The urge to lie shamelessly was strong. However, Twilight knew that if she did and later let it slip that she lied, Starlight would never let her hear the end of it. Even worse, the Element of Honesty, an orange Earth Pony named Applejack, would have stuck her hoof up Twilight’s...you know.
“Well?” Starlight questioned in an icy tone showing next to no patience.
Twilight sighed and slowly turned her head back to Starlight. "Have I ever said that you have gotten better at naming things since 'Our Town' because 'Tireklight' was pretty cle--"
"Twilight Sparkle!"
"Eep! Okay, I would have sent you to Tartarus!”
Starlight nodded her head in an "I knew it" motion. “Uh-uh. And where would I be right now?”
“Tartarus.”
“And when would you have let me out?”
“I…*gulp*...have no idea.”
“I rest my case,” Starlight said. Her glare was less intense, due to her point being proven, but it still showed she wouldn't give in to Twilight's pleas.
Twilight sighed in understanding. “Okay, I get it: the filly code decrees that a mare ruining the magic of another mare’s or filly's first kiss is an unforgivable sin, even for a princess like myself. I also understand that, as the one it was broken to, the code decrees that you gained the authority to lock me away in Tartarus for it.”
“Yep! But I’m not throwing you in there because you taught me friendship, as long as you wear that sign any time you leave the castle, for a month.”
Twilight put her hooves together in a begging motion. “But can I do something else to get this sign off? I’ll even give you my Alicorn wings AND your own version of Spike to atone!”
“I don’t--wait.” in a confused voice, Starlight asked, “My ‘own version’ of Spike? Why not just give me the real Spike?”
“That’s because I'm not desperate enough to give you my Spike. Plus, it would be the worst crime a mare can do: break the big sister/mom code, which precedes even the filly code.”
“Fair enough. You would have to be an absolute monster of a mare to break the big sister/mom code.”
“But please, Starlight Glimmer, I’ll do anything else!”
Starlight placed a hoof on her cheek and pondered what to do. She was hiding it, but Twilight’s words were slightly wearing her down. “Okay, I have an idea. Stand up. I'll be right back.”
Twilight grinned, her ears perked up, and she sprung to her hooves, hope filling her heart.
Starlight ran out of the library. After a minute, she ran back in, holding a ball of magic glowing turquoise, the same size of the ponies' eyes. “I want you to say what you did last week into this. I had a feeling this might happen, so I created this sphere a few days ago and hid it in my room.”
Twilight stared at the magic and tilted her head to the side. She was happy for this chance, but was still baffled by what Starlight could have been thinking. “Why?”
Starlight growled and questioned, “Twilight, do you want me to let you take that thing off or not?!”
Twilight rapidly nodded her head. “I-I do, so I’ll do it!” Twilight leaned toward the magical ball so her mouth could enter it. The magic felt like hot air (literally) when her mouth made contact with it. Once in position, she repeated what happened the previous week that later broke the filly code. How she mastered a spell that would have attracted the mares she thought was cute to her, ask her on a date, and perhaps even kiss her. How it went wrong and its siren call-like effect went into Chrysalis instead, giving the Changeling a day to forget. After Twilight had finished, the ball vanished.
A mere second later, a female voice that shook books off the library’s bookshelves bellowed, “PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!”
“EEP!” Twilight jumped half the distance to the ceiling from shock, but flapped her wings to keep herself airborne. After another second, a bright white light flashed throughout the library, forcing another yelp from Twilight. The whole time, Starlight smiled, but otherwise didn’t respond.
When the light cleared, a white Alicorn stood in the library. She had a flowing light-blue, pink, and light-green mane, and wore a gold crown on her head. Her Cutie Mark was of the sun.
She was the ruler of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle's mentor and former teacher, Princess Celestia.
Uh-oh. Twilight’s in trouble!
Twilight slowed her wing flaps to return to the floor, then immediately fell on her stomach, facing her mentor. “P-P-Princess Celestia? W-What are you doing here?”
Wearing a scowl, Celestia strode to Twilight and soon towered over the smaller Princess. She remained quiet.
Sweat flowed down Twilight’s forehead. She gulped and smiled nervously. Her ears drooped again and her pounding heart beat at triple its regular speed. Even Starlight gulped from nerves, but was still too mad at Twilight to defend her.
After a tense moment, which felt like a day to Twilight, Celestia growled. She shook her head and paced back and forth as she ranted, “I can’t believe you, Twilight Sparkle. I understand that like anypony, you will sometimes make mistakes. That is a fact of life and not even I am immune to making them. But out of all the mistakes you have ever made, this one...OOH!” Celestia stomped a hoof. The sound of the hoof slamming onto the crystal floor sent shivers down Twilight’s spine.
Twilight again gulped. She has seen Princess Celestia angry at her before, but not like this, and why was she mad at her anyway? Twilight collected her courage and meekly said, “Princess Celestia, I don't understand. Why are you so mad at me?”
Celestia stopped pacing. After a deep breath, her horn glowed gold, and the books on the floor were levitated back to the bookshelves. With the books in their rightful places, Celestia turned to face Twilight once again. “First, Twilight, I'm sorry about knocking over your books. I know how much you love them, and I will buy you some more later. But as for your question, I just heard about your actions last week. I would like an explanation for this grand high treason.”
Twilight guessed that when she spoke into Starlight's ball of magic, it somehow carried her voice to Celestia. How Celestia arrived so quickly was one of several questions on Twilight's mind, but she first asked, “Wait, ‘grand high treason’? What I did isn't a kind of trea--”
Celestia interrupted, “It is. Breaking the sacred filly code is considered ‘grand high treason’ as the code decrees. Just like every female pony that has ever lived, you were born with the knowledge of the filly code: didn’t you know that already?”
“Oh, yeah, and I did. I’m just having a bad week.”
“And it is only getting worse for you. Now then, why did you cast a love spell that later ruined the magic of Starlight Glimmer’s first kiss?”
Twilight gulped yet again. It wasn’t just fear holding back her tongue, but shame. Even if Celestia is like her second mother, how could the mare admit that it was all because she, the Princess of Friendship, was desperate for a date or ten? She was also worried that Celestia might bring up the “Want it, Need it” spell fiasco, which Twilight conveniently never informed Starlight about. After a deep breath, Twilight explained her reasons and when she finished, she smiled sheepishly.
“What?” Celestia asked in a chilling voice.
Twilight's smile flipped into a frown. “I’m so sorry, Princess Celestia! I didn’t mean for that spell to break the filly code! Please don’t send me back to Magic Kindergarten!”
“Uh, you know that would be letting you off easy, right?” Celestia asked in a much calmer but puzzled voice. “You should go to Tartarus for breaking the filly code, even by accident.”
“Oh. In that case, I can’t believe I’m saying it, but please send me back to Magic Kindergarten as my punishment!”
“Before I decide what to do, words cannot express just how disappointed I am right now, Twilight. You have told me how Starlight learned to not over-rely on her magic, thanks to your guidance. You told me how bad a mess she was when you took her under your wing, and how she used to be unable to last an hour without casting spells--”
Starlight interrupted, “Hey! Even at my worst, I could have gone at least an hour without my spells! I just...had trouble going longer than four hours without casting one.”
Celestia lifted her head to Starlight. “Really? Because Twilight told me--”
“Uh, let’s get back to my punishment. When will I have to report to school?”
Celestia looked down at Twilight again, who was still lying on her stomach in submission. “Before we get to that, I have another question to ask: Twilight, the spell you cast was supposed to make everypony you thought was cute come after you for dates, correct?”
“Yes.”
“I see. As wrong as that is, there is something else that disappoints me even more.”
“W-What is it?”
Celestia closed her eyes and sighed. It wasn’t out of anger, but of disappointment. What could she be sad about? Twilight wanted to ask that question, but understood it would be best to remain silent.
Starlight was thinking she needed to keep quiet about how she still struggles to go longer than four hours without using spells. In fact, if she didn't cast one in the next fifteen minutes, the urge would force her to impulsively unleash random spells.
That would end BADLY.
After some time in deep thought, Celestia opened her eyes and said, “You always told me whenever you mastered a new spell. So, the thing that disappoints me the most is that you didn’t tell me about that spell!”
“I know, and I’m so--wait, what?”
“What?!” Starlight exclaimed with her eyes widened.
“Yes. Twilight, you think you have waited a long time to have dates for Hearts and Hooves Day? Filly, try a THOUSAND years!”
“What?!” both Twilight and Starlight asked.
“Yes, and I suppose I should explain myself, so you two won’t shout ‘What?’ again like this is EWF (Equestrian Wrestling Federation) Hoofdown. Before Luna became Nightmare Moon, she was my wingmare. However, ever since I had to send her to the moon, I’ve been dateless!”
Twilight asked, “But in that case, why hasn’t she...helped when she returned?”
“That’s because being alone on the moon for a thousand years had made Luna lose her edge and now she’s on the...socially inept side. But before it happened, Luna was one of the best mares at getting dates, and was one of the reasons she became a night owl. She may have thought I had more overall admiration, but she was peerless at landing dates, and it made her the best wingmare in Equestria’s history! Thanks to her, I was spoiled for choice!”
Twilight said, “Wow. I never knew that.”
Starlight set a hoof on her cheek. “Hmm. Princess Luna once told me that she saw a lot of herself in me, so does that mean that I could finally bag Su--”
Celestia interrupted, “So that spell could have finally solved my own dating problem!”
Twilight asked, “But you’re the ruler of Equestria, so why can’t you get a date? I’m sure stallions would be, uh, interested.”
Celestia’s ears drooped and she looked away. She sighed, turned her head back to Twilight, and answered, “That’s because I’m too shy to work my magic without a good wingmare. I asked Princess Cadance to use her magic to get me dates, but she said it 'wouldn't be ethical'. Kind of a hypocrite if you ask me with the spells she does use.”
This was something Twilight had already thought about. For years, she had begged Cadance to use her magic as the Princess of Love to make Twilight's crushes ask her out. Unfortunately for Twilight, Cadance always flatly refused to perform the spells for it.
Celestia's eyes locked onto the sign on Twilight's chest. It forced giggles from her and she perked her ears back up. "Twilight, I don’t question that you really do think what it says, but why is that sign on your chest?”
“This? Starlight’s forcing me to wear this for a month as an ‘unofficial’ punishment.”
Celestia giggled again and said, “Is that so? Good idea, Starlight!”
Starlight giggled in return. “Thanks, Princess Celestia.”
Celestia’s smile faded and a frown took its place again. “But, Twilight, as for your official punishment for breaking the filly code, I will tell you what: since Starlight appears to have chosen to spare you from going to Tartarus, I will deliver no further punishment, as long as you teach me that spell to get dates.”
Twilight again gulped, setting a new Equestrian world record for most nervous gulps in five minutes (six) and bit her lip. “Uh...I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, but I can’t. The magic for the spell I wrote for it is still in Chrysalis's body in an inactive state. The magic can only be created once, so the spell can't be cast again.”
Celestia sighed, her hopes for her own dates dashed. “Is that so? In that case, I will extend your punishment of wearing that sign for one month, to two months.”
Twilight’s pupils shrank and she leaped to her hooves. Wearing the sign for a month was already too much, but having to wear it for two months? It would be unbearable! “WHAT?! Please, please, Princess Celestia, don’t make me wear this for two months! I'll die of embarrassment! Besides, as a grown mare and a princess, I shouldn’t be wearing things like this on me! Especially not when foals are nearby!”
“Well, Twilight, perhaps the next time you master a love spell, you’ll let me know immediately, and whether it was an accident or not, you broke the filly code. Anyway, I must take my leave. I need to drink some cid--uh, go over some paperwork to help me forget about how I could have had dates last week during Hearts and Hooves Day.” Celestia turned around to walk toward one of the library’s light-green double-doors.
“No, Princess Celestia, please reconsider!”
Celestia made no response to Twilight’s pleas and simply walked out of the door.
Twilight whined and looked down. She had no idea how she would tolerate two months of wearing the humiliating sign of “I can’t lie: I love big flanks” on her chest.
Starlight took no pity and smirked. “Well, Twilight, looks like you would have been better off not begging me to let you take that off. But think of it this way: at least every mare’s eyes are on you now, just not for dates. See you later, big flank lover!” Starlight trotted out of the room. She needed to cast a spell to relieve her itch to cast them: her four-hour limit was nearly up.
Alone in the library, Twilight screamed and stomped her hooves. The sound from the hooves' frustration-filled slam could be heard outside of the castle. It is times like these when Princess Twilight has to remind herself that she's the Princess of Friendship and thus can't physically hurt anypony, unless it's a last resort.
“Starlight Glimmer, if I ever turn evil, you are going to be the first to go.” Twilight thought about it. The deeds of a certain Earth Pony that she heard about surfaced into her head, making the Alicorn quickly change her mind.
“Actually, make that second: Spoiled Rich would still be the first to go.”