//------------------------------//
// An Unexpected Party 
// Story: There's a Pony In My House! 
// by WhispersInTheDark 
//------------------------------//

I turned off the TV as she nodded. "Yes, it's my special talent, communicating with other species."

I had about a million questions, but I finally settled on, "What's your name?" I looked down at the one who was still lying back, impatiently waiting for me to continue scratching her. "And what's her name?"

She smiled. "I'm Fluttershy, and that's Rainbow Dash."

"Huh. I was calling you Bolt and Butterfly."

She giggled. "That's cute! What's your name?"

"Carl."

She smiled. "I like it! It's a very Human name!"

I got poked by...umm...Rainbow, so I started scratching her belly again. But I didn't let it distract me. "So...what are you all doing here? On Earth, I mean?"

Her eyes brightened. "Oh, that's easy! We're here to spread the message of Love and Friendship™!"

I stared at her. "Come again?"

"Love and Friendship™! You Humans really need to hear our message, considering all your wars and such." She took a deep breath, and began:

"We ponies have a special force that connects us, called Harmony. Harmony and friendship are what brings us together, and helps everypony ("Say that again?") ...umm...everypony ("That's what I thought you said.") get along so well. In fact, there's a Tree of Harmony that is one of the most powerful objects in our world, that created the Elements of Harmony. Oh, I must tell you about those! ("If you must...") There are six of them, and they are Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness, Laughter, and Magic! My five friends and I were chosen to wear these Elements, and Rainbow Dash's is Loyalty, Applejack is Honesty, Rarity is Generosity, Pinkie Pie's is Laughter, Twilight's is Magic, and mine is Kindness! With them, we spread Love and Friendship™ throughout the land, and everypony is happy! Even when they're not, we all do what we can to help them! I must tell you about some of our adventures! We..."

I held up my hand. "That's okay, I think I get the gist of it." I could feel my teeth aching from all the sugary sap she was spouting. "You ponies are superior moral beings, here to lead us lowly Earthlings to Paradise."

The sarcasm was immediately lost on her, for she merely waved a hoof, smiled and said, "That's quite right. You desperately need our help."

I arched an eyebrow. "So, how do you plan on...ahem..." helping" us?"

She grinned. "By example, of course! Once you're shown how to live, we can only expect you to emulate us!" I looked at her, then at the pony who was currently enjoying a belly scritch.

"Does that...example...include invading my home, drinking my beer, and milk, and invading my privacy?" She waved this off again.

"We didn't think you'd mind. After all, we're only looking out for your wellbeing. How could you refuse?" She lay down again. "Speaking of which, I could use some more attention here." She pointed to her midsection. But I got to my feet.

"Yeah, I think I'm done here."

Both gazed at me, then Fluttershy said, "Is something wrong?" Before I could answer, I heard more scratching at my door.

"Now what?" I said as I went to open it. This time, it was a bright pink pony, bouncing up and down on my welcome mat, with the biggest grin I'd ever seen plastered on ( I assumed) her face. She bounced past me and went up to the other ponies and gave them each a hug. I guessed she knew them.

Then it dawned on me: this had to be Pinkie Pie, the one with the Laughter thingie. I went back to the door and looked out, expecting to see the rest of them on their way, but there was no sign of more ponies. I breathed a sigh of relief, but before I could turn around, I heard an explosion! I whipped my head back in the direction of my living room, only to be struck speechless. In the short time I'd been at my door, my entire downstairs had been redecorated with balloons, streamers, and confetti! The pink one was slicing up a cake she'd gotten from God knows where, and was passing out slices. She bounced up to me and placed a plate in my hands, then booped my nose. I couldn't speak. I looked around and saw a pink cannon sitting off to the side, with bits of confetti and streamers still clinging to it. Where the hell did that come from?!

As I stood there stunned, the pinkie went to my stereo and started blasting techno music, then produced a disco ball from her mane. She threw it up to the ceiling, where it stuck and started rotating, casting colored lights all over the place! While I was standing there with my mouth hanging open ( and wondering where the music came from, as I hate techno music and didn't have a copy) the door burst inward behind me and about a fuckton of ponies started pouring in! A couple of them rolled a keg in and set it up, while most started dancing with each other, on my furniture! Then I saw a few of them talking to Rainbow, who pointed to her ears and then stood on her hind legs and rubbed her belly. Then she pointed to me. They all turned as one and stared at me, made an "ooooo" sound, then suddenly I was rushed by a crowd of them, all pointing to their ears, while some also got on their own hind legs and exposed their bellies! I'm in trouble!

"What the hell is going on?!?"

I turned to see who had shouted and saw two cops standing there in my doorway, surveying the scene. One pointed at me and repeated his question, but had to shout to be heard over the music and dancing. "What is all this?!"

I put one finger in my ear and leaned forward. "These ponies just all showed up out of nowhere, and started partying!"

He exchanged a look with his partner, then looked at all the ponies clustered around me, still pointing to their ears. "Did you give any of them ear scritches?!"

"What?!"

"I said, did you give any of them ear scritches?! Or belly rubs?!" I nodded.

"Yes, a couple of them!!"

He stared at me. "You fool!! Now you'll never get rid of them!! Don't you watch the news?!" 

Before I could answer, several of the ponies clustered around me turned their attention to the new humans, and gathered around them, clearly hoping for ear scritches. One mare, bolder than the rest, got up on her hind legs, placed her head against one of the cops' chests and wiggled her ears at him while giving him the biggest puppy-dog eyes she could. He looked down at her, while his hand began to move on its own towards her oh-so scritchible ears. Then he got ahold of himself and shook his head. She stuck out her bottom lip and poured on more of the charm, but he held fast. He took a step back and she landed on her hooves, very upset. He ignored her.

"Get this party under control, or we're hauling you in for disturbing the peace!!" With that, they both turned and left. The utter unfairness of that statement made my blood boil. I didn't ask for this! I wended my way past all the dancing ponies and those still bugging me for my attention, set the plate down and made it to the stereo, then switched it forcefully off. All stopped dead still and stared at me.

"Get. The Fuck. OUT!!"

The silence continued, as I angrily pointed to my door. Then one pony began sobbing, then another, until there was a great wail and they all started crying! Oh, jeez, NOW what am I supposed to do? I did the only thing I could think to do. "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry! But you're all too loud, and I don't want to get into trouble!" Then Fluttershy spoke to them all in their language, and they all calmed down, sniffed, then headed for my door. As they all walked out with their heads down, I felt like the world's biggest jerk.

But it had to be done.

Soon, I was left with Pinkie, Dash, and Fluttershy, and a house still festooned with party trappings. I dreaded the thought of cleanup, but as it turned out, I needn't have bothered. In a flash, the pink one dashed around the room, removing the balloons, streamers, disco ball and even the confetti. She tucked it all back into her cannon (somehow) and wheeled it out, closing the door after her. Fluttershy hopped up on the couch next to me.

"I'm sorry. We didn't mean to get you into trouble. I hope you can forgive us?" I smiled at her.

"It's okay, no real harm done. I'm sorry I hurt all your friends' feelings." She smiled back.

Then, even though I knew it was a mistake, I reached over and gave her ears a good scratch. Rainbow's eyes widened and she climbed up on the other side and gazed at me hopefully while wiggling her ears. "Why the hell not?" I said to myself and gave her what she wanted. Her eyes closed and her tongue polled out, but she managed to keep from moaning this time. They both sighed and lay down, placing their heads on my lap as I continued the scratching. I smiled and lay back, and was soon fast asleep.

When I awoke, it was morning, and my friends were nowhere in sight. I felt a pang of disappointment but reasoned it was probably for the best.

But still, I missed them.