//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: The rant, a spark of evil, and the revenge // Story: The Aftermath of Twilight's Love Spell // by ThePinkedWonder //------------------------------// “I can’t believe it. Two months of wearing this sign. I know I broke the filly code, but it was an accident! I live to spread friendship and I've helped saved Equestria several times, so shouldn’t that...” Ten minutes after Princess Celestia had declared her to wear the “I can’t lie: I love big flanks” sign on her chest for two months, Princess Twilight Sparkle stomped out of her castle, ranting to herself. Even though it was true, she didn’t want to outright tell others the fact that she liked big flanks. At least, not unless they were her very special somepony or someponies.  She would have loved nothing less than (save for ignoring she’s a good pony and kick Starlight Glimmer’s flank for this) to remain in her castle, but she couldn’t. It was time for her semi-weekly counting of houses in Ponyville to satisfy the urges of her OCD, and it wasn’t going to happen by itself. The thought of being late to do something made her unable to just delay the task. Fortune rarely shone on Twilight this previous week, even if the actual sun overhead was, but it elected to at this moment: nopony was in sight. If there were ponies nearby, they were inside the surrounding houses. Knowing she wouldn't be ridiculed for the time being allowed Twilight to cease her ranting and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She sat on a red bench and focused her gaze on the houses in front of her. The cool breeze blowing onto her coat further relaxed her. “Okay. One, two, three, four, five--WHOA!” A powerful burst of white smoke materialized in front of Twilight, forcing her to scream and jump off the bench from surprise, but flapped her wings just fast enough to softly land. The experience also made her heart beat faster and harder. When the smoke cleared, it revealed an azure Unicorn. She had a pale-blue mane that ended in a curl on both sides of her head, and her tail was the same color. Her Cutie Mark was of a magician's...okay, fine, she’s the Great and Powerful Trixie, so why am I still explaining her appearance? Let’s just get to the good stuff. Now then, Trixie stood in front of Twilight with a scowl. “Trixie?” “Yes, it is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, and I have some questions for you, Twilight Sparkle!” Twilight was curious about why Trixie seemed upset, but she had other matters to concern herself with. Such as the sign she’d have to wear for seven more weeks. Even so, she asked, “What?” “I heard about that spell you cast last week. It made those you think are cute come after you for dates, correct?” “Yes?” Trixie pointed a hoof at herself. “I wasn’t affected, so you don’t think I'm cute?” Twilight tilted her head to the side. “Huh?” "Sure, the Great and Powerful Trixie could do better, but I would have appreciated at least being considered an option.” “If you can really do better, then why are you mad that I...don’t feel that way about you?” Trixie bit her lip and her ears drooped. “B-Because it’s...well...it’s insulting!” “Insulting?” “Yeah!" Trixie pointed the hoof that was pointed at herself to Twilight. "How would you like it if I thought every mare in Ponyville was cute, but not you?” Trixie raised a valid point. She didn't give the slightest thought of dating Princess Twilight Sparkle, though this underpaid narrator would question why not. But still, Twilight thought most of the mares in Ponyville were cute, but not Trixie, causing her pride to suffer a blow.  Twilight stuttered, “Uh...well, I s-see your point, b-but--” “You see?! What's wrong with me? Is it because I don't wear make-up?” “T-There’s nothing wrong with you, but--” “Is it my flank? I may not have the biggest flank, but you would still be hard-pressed to find a better one in all of Equestria! Look at it!” Trixie swung around to show her rear. Disclaimer: The lazy as hell writer of this absurd Twilight Sparkle-centered story wants me to remind you that a pony's flank is technically not their butts, but Equestrian ponies just like calling their butts that. Now with that disclaimer out of the way, back to the story. Then when it's over, I'm demanding a raise. Staring at Trixie’s “flank” Twilight muttered, “It’s uh...nice?” Trixie growled and spun around to face Twilight again with gritted teeth. “‘Nice’? ‘Nice’?! Not ‘great' or at least 'good'? I’ve never been so insulted, so consider this flank something you’ll never have!” With her rant over, Trixie huffed and stormed off, mumbling to herself. Twilight stood motionless with her mouth widened. After a moment, she said, “Okay, that was weird.” Twilight thought about Trixie’s flank, making her cheeks grow red. “And is it weird that I just got turn--no, I can’t!” Twilight slapped her cheek. The Alicorn couldn’t get any ideas; Starlight has been angry at her as it is. She just simply sat back on the bench and resumed her house-counting.  However, when she reached the sixth house, she felt great pain from something striking the back of her head. Everything went dark before the Princess even had a chance to scream. With a weak moan, Twilight slowly forced open her eyelids. The back of her head hurt, but the pain was manageable. The room's brown rock walls plus the room's dimmer light suggested she was in a cave. But Twilight couldn't even think "oh my head", because the smiling figure standing in front of her was far more alarming. She was black, with a dark-blue mane, but she wasn't a pony. Her legs had holes in them. Her thin, insect-like wings were the same color as her mane. A large, crooked horn grew out of her forehead. She was none other than the ex-Queen of the Changelings, Chrysalis herself! “Good. You finally woke up.” “Chrysalis?!” Twilight attempted to move her legs, but they wouldn’t budge an inch. Letting out fearful moans, she tried to tilt her head down, but she could barely move it either. With her heart rate elevated, she rolled her pupils down to look at herself and saw that her body was wrapped in a green cocoon and only her head was uncovered. However, the sign that had been on her chest was now stuck on the outside of the cocoon. "Yes, it is I, Queen Chrysalis! And, Princess Twilight Sparkle, or should I say 'lover of big flanks', I am going to have some fun with you.” The words "lover of big flanks" made Twilight stop moaning and growl. The bad mood she was in before returned, allowing the fear she felt to drop and the beating of her heart lowered in both speed and intensity. She also grew more oblivious to the pain from the back of her head. “Why do you have me in this cocoon? What’s going on?!” “I’m asking the questions here!” Chrysalis shot back with a scowl. “Now first, I did some research, and I know *shudder* the humiliation I suffered last week was your fault!” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Uh, that phrase wasn’t a question.” “Silence!” “If you want me to be silent, how can I answer your questions?” Twilight asked in a lecturing voice. Chrysalis raised a foreleg to point at Twilight, ready to deliver a counter-question, but quickly realized that she raised a valid argument. “I...fine, point taken.” Chrysalis moved the leg pointing at Twilight to her cheek and sighed. “Sorry, I have had a long week. After I fled Ponyville, it took three days of lying in a ball in the Badlands to regain my sanity.” “You’re not the only one to have had a bad week. Starlight and Princess Celestia are forcing me to wear this demeaning sign saying I love big flanks anytime I go outside for two months. If I refuse, they'll send me to Tartarus.” “Oh, so that’s why you had that sign on your chest when I snuck up behind you and captured you. Starlight Glimmer embarrassed both of us and I hate Celestia, so if I didn’t want revenge on you, I would propose that we join forces and teach those two a lesson! And it would be the closest we'll ever come to Chrylight.” “It wouldn’t matter anyway. Unless you make me evil, I’ll never team up with you!”  “Ha! Well, if my revenge doesn't kill you, maybe I'll come back for our team up later. With the way you stress out, you’ll drive yourself crazy and become evil on your own in the next three years. Anyway, let’s get back to what happened to me with those mares: what the buck did you do?” “If you mean when the mares in Ponyville chased after you, begging you to be their date, I invented a spell to have them do that to me. But before I could cast it on myself, it went awry and the magic flew into you.” Chrysalis disapprovingly shook her head. “Spells backfiring. I thought you, the so-called Element of Magic, would know better than that!” “Okay, it wasn’t that I just messed up: Starlight distracted me and I lost control of the magic for it!” Chrysalis gritted her teeth and growled. Without even trying, Starlight once again played a role in her humiliation. “Starlight Glimmer...of course. That’s the second time that sow did something to ruin my plans by luck. After I’m finished with you, she’s next!” “Well, at least you’re not putting all the blame on me.” “Of course not. That ridiculous ‘filly code’ you mares live your entire lives by doesn't apply to me, so why should I be irrationally furious at you for breaking it? Besides, I'm semi-irrationally furious at you for just casting the spell that--" "Uh, how can you feel semi-irrationally about something?" Chrysalis let out a growl full of annoyance. "Can you just cut the technicalities and let me rant?! Now where was I? Oh, yes. I'm semi-irrationally furious at you for casting the spell that gave me one of the worst days of my life: being hit on by...ponies! And during that, Starlight grabbed me and put her...ugh...tongue in my mouth!” Chrysalis covered her mouth with a foreleg, summoning all her willpower to not gag. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Chrysalis. Starlight's not Equestria's...most experienced kisser, but she couldn't have been that bad, and there’s nothing wrong with ponies.” “So, you wouldn’t feel weird if a Changeling hit on you?” Twilight’s eyes widened. Chrysalis had a point. If Changelings pursued Twilight for dates like ponies did to Chrysalis, she would feel quite awkward about it, despite having nothing against (reformed) Changelings. Thus she remained quiet and rolled her pupils to a side of her eyes to look away from Chrysalis. Chrysalis nodded her head, knowing she nailed a bull's-eye. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Chrysalis’s lips curled into an evil smile.  “But now...ha ha…let’s get to the fun part: my revenge.” Twilight knew she was helpless, but she nonetheless reset her pupils to the center of her eyes to look at Chrysalis and gritted her teeth out of defiance. “What are you going to do with me?” “Yes, what should I do to you?" Chrysalis formed an embarrassed smile. "You know, I was so busy drooling over this moment, I didn't think about what my revenge would be, so maybe I could...oh! I could break your horn as payment for the humiliation you put me through." Twilight gasped out of fear and shock. "That's barbaric! Don't you have any kind of feminine pride?!" "If you think that's barbaric, maybe I’ll rip your wings off. No, that might make someone happy.” “Huh? Why would someone want me to lose my wings? And why did you say ‘someone’?” “I just have a strange feeling that someone might enjoy you losing your wings and be made a Unicorn again, but I have no idea why. But enough about that: tearing off your wings would be too good for you, because you need to suffer for the disgrace that spell made me experience." Chrysalis raised her head up in thought. What could she subject Twilight Sparkle to that would quench her desire for retribution? Three seconds later, Chrysalis lowered her head, wearing a crooked grin. "Yessss, I know what to do to you now, and it's perfect! It'll be far worse for you than ripping off your horn and wings!” “What could be worse than tearing off my horn and wings? Are you going to simply kill me?!” “Ha ha, you’ll see. But first, we are going on a field trip to Tartarus.” With her magic, Chrysalis picked up the cocoon holding Twilight and carried her down the caves’ passageways while walking. Chrysalis could have flown to get to Tartarus faster, but the love she managed to eat last week was too high in calories, so Chrysalis chose to walk the whole way. Refusing to be taken without a fight, Twilight gritted her teeth and focused her energy in her horn to fire a magical blast. Alas, after she let out a grunt, nothing happened. “Oh, don’t try to use your pathetic magic because that cocoon seals off magic from ponies, even Alicorns. You forgot?” Not wanting to admit she forgot that it happened once when she, her friends, and the other Princesses were trapped in them and taken to the Changeling Hive, Twilight grumbled, “Maybe.” Later, in the bowels of Tartarus... Surrounded by cages filled with Bugbears, Cockatrices, Chimeras, and other dangerous creatures, Chrysalis was still carrying the cocooned Twilight in her magic. The latter was facing the former. High up on the top of a cone-shaped pillar, open at its top, was a cage containing one of the most feared villains in Equestria’s history. “Chrysalis, if your plan is to trap me here, it won't work! With the power of friendship, my friends will find me! And when I'm free, I'll form a well-thought-out plan to kick your flank because I'm in a bad mood because of this sign!” “See? I told you that stress is slowly turning you evil; you're making threats to get revenge physically. Next thing you know, you're going to make the mistake of telling me what your evil plan is. But I'm not planning to trap you in here forever anyway, so save those threats for when you fully become evil.” “If trapping me in Tartarus isn't your plan, then what is it?!” A male voice complained, “Hey! Quiet! Can’t a Centaur suffer an eternity in Tartarus in peace?” Twilight gasped. She was still facing Chrysalis and away from where the voice came from, but she recognized it, telling her that Chrysalis took her to the section of Tartarus holding Lord Tirek. She and Chrysalis were currently crossing the narrow zigzagging path leading to his cage. “Tirek? Why are you taking me to see him?” “For my revenge, of course. What, you think I'm dragging you down here for an afternoon picnic?” “I don’t understand,” Twilight said. After five seconds, she and Chrysalis had crossed the narrow path and were now in front of Tirek's cage. Chrysalis turned Twilight around, so she now faced Tirek's direction. Tirek rubbed his head and said, “For once, we are in agreement, because I don't understand either. What are... *snicker*...wait, what’s with that sign, Princess Twilight? I didn’t know you were a ‘flank mare’!” Twilight sighed. “Trust me, wearing this isn’t my idea.” Chrysalis asked, “And, Tirek, I’m sure you’re wondering why we’re here, right?” “The thought crossed my mind.” “I'll explain, but first, let me tell you what the Princess of Desperation here made me go through last week on Hearts and Hooves Day.” "Well, it's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon, so go ahead and tell your tale." Chrysalis explained what happened to her the previous week because of Twilight’s spell. After the story, Tirek fell over in laughter. “Ha ha! Wow, Chrysalis, she made you ‘the lovebug’?! Oh, that’s rich!” “Yeah, yeah, go ahead and get your laughs out. I'd MUCH rather take this over being pursued for dates and kissed by ponies.” After more laughter, Tirek stood back on his hooves and said, “Okay, I’m done. If you came to give me a laugh, Queen Lovebug, you did well, so leave and let me be, and take your little pony with you.” "Hey, I'm not a 'little' pony! I know I'm small for an Alicorn, but I'm still a normal size for a mare!" “And I’m not going anywhere until I have my revenge on this pathetic 'little' pony." Chrysalis turned Twilight around, so the two were facing each other again. “Now, I'm sure I know the answer, but have you ever been kissed before?” Twilight blushed and shouted, “That’s none of your business!” Chrysalis grinned. “I'll take that as a ‘no’. According to that filly code of yours, ruining a mare’s first kiss is one of the worst things you can do to them, correct?” “Yes. Some mares, including me, would rather die than have one of the most memorable moments of our lives ruined. But what does--” Twilight’s pupils shrank to half their normal size and she gasped deeply. Chrysalis's plot -- no, not that plot -- for her vengeance became clear. “No...no...you wouldn't! You couldn't!” Chrysalis’s grin grew bigger. “I can, and I will." Chrysalis once again spun Twilight around, so she faced Tirek a second time. "See the old geezer in that cage?” Tirek countered, “Please, you’re not exactly ‘young’ yourself.” Chrysalis lowered Twilight to glare at Tirek. “Well at least I don't look old!" Chrysalis lifted Twilight back up. "Anyway, flank lover, Tirek’s going to be your first kiss, so prepare yourself!” Twilight's pupils shrank even more, knowing for certain Chrysalis was scheming what she thought she was. "NO! I don’t want to have Tirek as my first kiss!” “As much as it pains me to agree with her, you’re not making us kiss, Queen Lovebug. I can hardly tolerate her presence, let alone locking lips with her!” “Gee, Tirek, I thought you would love to see her in agony.” Tirek fidgeted his fingers. “Well, yes, I would, because I despise her. But still, she and I kissing?” “Didn't you hear her? She said that she’d rather die than have her first kiss ruined. I thought you'd jump at the chance to kill this pony, let alone give her a fate worse than death!” A smile formed on Tirek’s lips. “That does sound appealing, but still--” “Didn’t she steal what was yours: the Alicorn magic of all the Alicorns in Equestria?” “Yes, she did--” Twilight's pupils returned to normal size. She scowled and interrupted, “Now wait just a second! That wasn’t your Alicorn magic, Tirek, and you know it! It was the Princesses' and my magic! You're not even an Alicorn!” Tirek groaned. “Just like a goody-goody to point out the boring technicalities.” Twilight's scowl weakened and her frown went from an angry one to a puzzled one. “How does being right about technicalities make me a--” Chrysalis interrupted, “Quiet, goody-goody, you just sit there and think about your kiss, like a good mare that's slowly turning evil." Tirek smiled. He loathed her as a kind-hearted pony, but an evil Twilight Sparkle was something he could get behind. "Wait, she's turning evil? I knew it would happen eventually with how she stresses out! Princess Twilight, when you're completely evil, come back and free me, then with my ruthlessness and your knowledge of the magic in Equestria, we'll rule Equestria together!" From both shock, anger, and deep down, knowing a trace of evil had formed in her from the past week's humiliation, Twilight shouted, "NO WAY! I am not becoming evil! I just stress out a lot!" "Sure, sure, and didn't you cast a mind-control spell just to get a date or ten?" Tirek countered with a smirk. "W-W-Well, Starlight used mind-control spells too, so why is nopony saying she's becoming evil?" Chrysalis guessed, "Maybe it's because that fool is too dangerous to ever be evil. With the recklessness I've seen from her, she might destroy Equestria without even meaning to if she ever becomes a villain or a lamer 'anti-villain'. But anyway, Tirek, here’s your chance to have your own revenge on the still-goody-goody Princess of Friendship! Are you gonna take it? Going once, going twice...” In truth, Chrysalis wasn’t actually going to take her “offer” off the table. She just didn’t want to appear too desperate. “Uh...okay, you win. Bring her to me, so we can kiss and we get to see her in glorious misery! Do I have to use tongue?” "Of course, if you want her to suffer as much as possible. It could even speed up her path to darkness." Staring at the caged Centaur that would be her first-ever kiss, Twilight begged, “No! Don't make me kiss him, Chrysalis! It’s bad enough I have to wear this sign for two months! Please don’t take away the magic of my first kiss!” Chrysalis ordered, “Just shut up and pucker up." “Wait, let’s just talk this over! Uh, how about I give you my castle and two versions of your own Spike and we call it even? Or let you rip off my horn and wings? I'll even give you one of my books and...wait, where’s Cerberus? Isn’t he supposed to be here?”  Tirek answered, “Oh, that three-headed mutt? He's in Las Pegasus on a two-week vacation.” Twilight had never wanted to see Cerberus more than now. He could have stopped Chrysalis, but with him on vacation, there was nothing to save her. Chrysalis used her magic to bend the bars of Tirek’s cage, then levitated the still-cocooned Twilight inside, still grunting and struggling to free herself. Twilight's and Lord Tirek's lips locked and they let out moans. Chrysalis laughed with immense pleasure at the sight, knowing Princess Twilight Sparkle was suffering the worst time of her life. It was almost worth being chased by mares and kissed by Starlight Glimmer the previous week. After ten seconds of one of the most improbable make-out sessions in Equestria's history, Chrysalis pulled Twilight away from Tirek. Tirek spat out the saliva Twilight got in his mouth, then wiped his lips for good measure. “Ugh, for a princess, you're an awful kisser! No wonder you never kissed anypony!” Chrysalis said, “To be fair, you would have probably enjoyed that a lot more if you were a pony.” "Fair enough. Now, you two can leave. But, Chrysalis?” “What?” “I think you wasted your opportunity for revenge.  As per the villain code, because you technically won because nopony foiled your plan, you can’t try another one and must release her unharmed.” “I did? How?” Tirek pointed at Twilight. “Just take a look at Princess Twilight, Queen Lovebug.” Chrysalis spun Twilight around and stared at her face. Chrysalis gasped and her jaw dropped to the ground. Twilight wasn’t crying or whimpering from a horrible first kiss. She wasn't even moaning from disgust. Instead, the Princess of Friendship was blushing and wearing a huge smile. Stars and hearts were in her eyes. The spark of evil once hidden deep in them was no longer in existence, making her pure of heart again. After Chrysalis's jaw returned to its normal position, she asked, “Seriously? You liked it?”