"May the rivers of Britain run red with the blood of your enemies." The teller spoke In Gobbledygook as Pinkie and Albus moved to leave the building, their financial business concluded.
Pinkie knew what this was! An opportunity to show that she was hip with the Goblins so to speak. That she knew the lingo and that she knew how to behave in proper Goblin culture.
"And may the women of your enemies lay bleeding from your corrupted Goblin cock." Pinkie replied solemnly in equally fluent Gobbledygook.
Albus was horrified. The Goblins were horrified. The other customers were confused on why everyone was horrified.
"What? I thought we were trying to gross each other out with our cruelty?"
The teller ran away crying "It's not corrupt, it's not!"
"I am afraid that Goblins are particularly sensitive concerning their manhood Pinkie. Where did you learn this particular phrase?"
She pointed towards the guard she was poking earlier. "He taught me some Goblin phrasing. But I may have mispronounced it some."
"What were you trying to say?"
"I hope your enemy's girlfriend likes you more."
"Well… You were close."
"What did I say?"
"Best not repeat it Pinkie. I think we've outstayed our welcome for today."
Albus manoeuvred Pinkie quickly towards the exit.
"Come on there is shopping to do."
xxx
First on the agenda were potion supplies. It's handy to have a cauldron to put your stuff in. Pinkie got all her first year potion materials making sure to be extra careful with the porcupine quills. The cauldron itself wasn't the best. It was a bit spotty. But who could beat those prices?
Books were next. She made some light conversation with a bushy haired girl in the bookstore who was really excited about books. She reminded her of someone but for the life of her she couldn't remember who. Together they found a lot of neat second hand books tucked away in dark dingy corner. This brought the excitement to whole new levels since now more books could be acquired. Pinkie wasn't certain but she thought she might've made a new friend in that little store.
Next came the trunk. It was your basic run'o the mill storage box made of some undefinable material. The owner seemed glad to be rid of it. Pinkie didn't mind. At home she had loads of stickers and glitter to decorate the trunk with. It could be a fun little project right before school.
Pinkie was starting to struggle lugging all these supplies around. Luckily Albus' shrinking charm is second to none. Pinkie stuffed everything in her trunk which Albus shrunk.
"I'm thrilled to have my junk in the shrunk trunk." She informed Albus.
"Indeed," Albus replied. "When you get home, make sure you spelunk in your shrunk trunk for your junk, lest it create a funk."
"Oh please, of course I will spelunk in my shrunk trunk to release the funk I'm not drunk."
"Perhaps you could place your thoroughly spelunked shrunk trunk underneath your bunk, it could clear up some gunk."
"I am not such a skunk to leave my spelunked shrunk trunk covered in gunk underneath my bunk."
"Verily, but even if you debunk the being of a skunk could leave their spelunked shrunk trunk covered in gunk underneath their bunk, I would not have thunk you to slam dunk an old drunk you little punk."
"..."
Pinkie and Albus started laughing together.
"Wow, I think you won that one." Pinkie said.
"Oh hardly, I believe many of those were not real words."
After that little moment it was time to continue their quest for more school supplies. Or so it should have gone. Instead Pinkie was once again distracted by something in the magical world. A small little pet store was seemingly hiding in between two pillars. Pan's Pets it was called.
"Oh look there's a pet store over there! Do you think we can have a little lookyloo?"
"Of course. Lead the way."
The little store sold all sorts of cute critters. Pinkie saw small adorable rodents to gawk at and fish that made blub noises.
Albus looked on and was wrestling with the idea of giving Pinkie an owl. While technically against the rules for a headmaster to do so. It could really help with communication with the orphanage.
Ah, that was the solution. Technically it would be the property of the orphanage not Pinkie Pie. A welcome gift from one institution to another to the magical world. Yes that will do nicely.
"Pinkie I am going to step out for a little bit, I will return shortly. Will you be alright here?"
"Sure Albie. Miss Jackalope here was just telling me a fascinating tale about a mongoose and a hippogriff that he knew. Quite the scandal."
"No doubt." Albus said and left the shop to get an owl at Eeylops Owl Emporium. The current store's main competitor who held the monopoly on selling owls.
A cacophony of hooting, barking and other owl noises welcomed Albus when he stepped over the threshold. With an expert eye he examined every owl trying to find one that will suit Pinkie the best.
His eyes settled on a young whiskered screech owl. It had the most adorable ears. Yes this one will do nicely.
He purchased the owl along with some food and a cage and other paraphernalia and hurried back to Pan's Pets.
Pinkie gave Albus a wave when he returned to the shop.
"Who's your friend?" She asked.
"This is a whiskered screech owl and currently she is without a name. I was hoping that you would give her one since she will be your new companion when you go to Hogwarts."
"You gave me a pet?" Pinkie felt overwhelmed. She ran up to Albus and gave him a fierce hug.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank You!"
"You're welcome Pinkie. Though technically I would appreciate it if we pretended that I gave it to the orphanage instead. Technically I'm not allowed to give presents to students."
"..."
"..."
Pinkie named him Owlicious.
xxx
Gerric Ollivander was enjoying a perfectly ordinary start of his day in his workshop. It was the time of year where most young wizards and witches were ready to purchase their first wand, so he liked to start early in making some of them.
He was currently wearing his safety goggles and was working the delicate procedure of melding the dragon heartstring with the wood. Birch in this case. Now since birch wood is quite bendy some people like it to be stiffened up a bit. That was what he was going to do with this one. An even ten inches of stiff birch wood and dragon heartstring. Oh yes this one will be quite special. Sparks started flying as he brought his hammer down.
xxx
Gerric had a pleasant flow going when the bell rang alerting him of a fresh customer. Putting the finishing touches on the wand he was working on he quickly placed it in it's box while it was still smouldering and hurried his way to the store front.
xxx
Pinkie and Albus were waiting patiently behind the counter. Albus greeted the wand maker as he placed his newly made wand in a rack somewhere.
"Good morning Albus. Bringing another fresh batch of students for their first wand is it? It's been a while for you."
"Just this one I'm afraid. The others will be coming with Minerva."
"I see, well you-"
Gerric's eyes landed upon Pinkies. He blinked once, twice. three times.
"Something wrong Gerric?"
"Wrong?" He replied absent-mindedly. "No, no nothings wrong." He seemed to snap out of whatever fugue he was in. "Come on let's get you a wand young lady."
He grabbed the first wand within reach and gave it to Pinkie to sample.
"Right, so which arm is your wand arm?"
"Well... I flip pancakes with righty but I use old lefty for writing and school stuff."
"Hmm tricky tricky. Hold on a second."
He waved his wand around and some measuring tape started measuring Pinkie in random places including but not limited to a single string of hair and a nostril.
"Try this one. Maple and dragonheartstring, eight inches, quite supple."
Pinkie grabbed the wand with both hands and enthusiastically started waving it. The wand sounded like a wet fart with every wave. It started to smell like it as well.
"For heavens sake! Please stop waving it around!" Gerric said while taking it from Pinkie. "Right something a bit more..."
He handed her another one.
"Rosewood and phoenix feather. Great for transfiguration."
Pinkie used her left hand with this one and waved it about a bit more gently. Still this one started coughing a serious sounding dry cough.
"Right definitely not that one."
"I think it was ill."
"I'll have to check it for wandrot."
On and on it went until Pinkie tried half the wands in the shop. Gerric Ollivander was starting to get a little bit worried. Normally at this stage he would at least get an inkling at what sort of witch he was dealing with.
"Young lady I want you to enter these hallowed halls of my store and see if your magic can find your wand for you."
Albus raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"Normally I would know already. Now I don't. We may have to consider that your wand is not in my store." He said turning to Pinkie.
"Go on Pinkie. Let your magic guide you."
Pinkie started roaming the store trying different wands but the result was always the same. A weird bodily function that felt like rejection. In the mean time she saw other children buying their wands quite easily while she was still fumbling around in these corridors. She was starting to get a little worried when she noticed a dusty cardboard box filled with wands.
"Mister Gerric? What are these wands right here?"
Gerric rode a ladder into the corridor that Pinkie was in and looked at what she was pointing at.
"Don't waste your time with those. They are failed experiments I did using muggle materials. Carbon fibre, aluminium, you name it. They're rubbish" He said and scooted away
Still Pinkie felt something reaching out to her from that box. "I am a good wand!" It seemed to say. "You'll see! I am, I am!"
So she decided to ignore Gerric's advice. After all wouldn't it be sad if these wands never found their owner? Rummaging around in the box she found a rather stubby looking wand in an unpolished brown colour.
When she grabbed hold of it the entire store exploded in a fountain of confetti and party whistle noises. Her hair turned extremely poofy for a second before settling back down in her regular curls.
"Wow, what a rush!"
Gerric zipped back into the corridor,
"I think I've found my wand!"
She handed the wand over to Gerric for inspection.
"Chipboard and unicorn tail hair. Six inches. Nothing special." He looked a little lost and confused.
"I don't even have a box for this."
"That's okay I can put it in my shrunk trunk."
"No, I'll find something for you to put it in. Curious... I could've sworn..." He mumbled as he moved to get Pinkie a suitable wand box.
Pinkie ran back to the front of the store to show Albus her new wand.
"Look!" She shouted while spraying confetti from her wand. "I've got a wand! It's made of chipboard and Unicorn tail hair."
"Chipboard? I've never heard of such a material. What is it?"
She stopped her confetti conjuring for a second to think.
"I dunno, compressed wood bits? I suppose it doesn't matter."
She pointed her wand and it made a party whistle noise.
"It's great fun though!"
Albus nodded to her in agreement.
"Well it seems we acquired everything needed for a first year term at Hogwarts and we still have some time left. Shall we get some ice-cream as we while away the time?"
Pinkie looked like Christmas came early.
"Do you even have to ask?"
xxx
The ice-cream parlour of Florian Fortescue was pleasantly busy with children and grown-ups alike either enjoying ice-cream or clamouring for it. Those in line at the counter were often found discussing what sort of flavour they wanted and Albus and Pinkie were no different.
"I think I want strawberry black peppercorn. Or, or maybe blue Java banana and chocolate. Geez this is one of the hardest decision of my life! How do these people do it?!"
"Peace Pinkie. Tell you what. I choose for you and you choose for me. That way not only will we have delicious ice-cream. It will also be a nice surprise."
It was obvious from her expression that Pinkie approved of this development immensely.
As they were eating their many flavoured ice-cream at a nice cosy table in the corner, the subject of magic came up as it was wont do between wizards and witches.
"So what does magic feel like for you Pinkie? For instance when I use my magic the image of a nice roaring flame, perfect for warming ones extremities after a long winter walk not irregularly enters my mind. I suppose it is one of the reasons why Fawkes my phoenix stays close to me."
Pinkie turned her spoon around in her mouth as her expression changed. She put the spoon back in her cup and looked outside the window.
"Sometimes it feels like I'm standing atop of an endless blue ocean with sunny skies end seagulls macking in the wind. It's nice and very peaceful."
Then she turned to Albus.
"But sometimes it feels like there are thousands of savage horses underneath my skin or galloping on a plain or something and it frightens me. I don't know them. It's something I can't place."
Albus looked at her directly over his half-moon spectacles for a moment looking contemplative.
"Pinkie, from your first statement it is safe for me to assume that you are probably going to be a very interesting witch."
He took a bite from his ice-cream and thought it through some more.
"As for your second statement. Do these horses appear in times of stress? Or perhaps when you are about to perform some accidental magic?"
"Yes!"
"Hmm, then perhaps it is your magic trying to defend you? I do not believe these horses as you say are necessarily something you need to be frightened about. Perhaps they are your magic's way of expressing intense emotion and the emotion is part of you.
He smiled at her
"And it's a little bit silly to be afraid of yourself don't you think?"
"I guess. But they do feel distinct. Sometimes I can see individual traits on them. For instance one of them is a really dark mare and she always has a really white mare right beside her. They are always galloping upfront."
"Have you ever tried communicating with these horses?"
"Yes, but I can't understand them. They're very busy and loud."
"All the more proof that they are part of yourself. I have also noticed a certain propensity for the loud in you." He said with a wink. Albus noticed that his joke fell a little flat because she was still worried.
"Give it time Pinkie and do not worry about it overmuch. Lest we forget that your magic is still developing and will probably find it's balance in it's own unique way has it does for us all."
Relief flooded Pinkie as she secretly feared that her magic was bad or something.
"You know it's really nice to talk to someone about this. When I tried to talk to people in the orphanage about it. They just don't really understand I guess. Even though they try."
"I imagine it's hard to try to understand something when you have never experienced it yourself."
Albus ate the last of his ice-cream with gusto.
"When term starts and you still have questions about your magic you could always go to the nurses office. Madam Pomfrey can run some tests for you and see what's what."
"I'll keep it in mind. Thanks for the ice-cream Albie!"
They stood from their cosy table and made room for some other sugar craving patrons.
"Now come. Let us bring you back to your home."
"Great I can't wait to show of all my new stuff and Owlicious!"
xxx
"Tell me Gorefist. What were your experiences with the heir of the Pie family?"
"She quite easily overruled our great foe Albus Dumbledore during our trek through the mines. I'm sure we all felt the magic surging through our lands. She is not to be trifled with"
The female head of the medical wing at Gringotts turned towards her king.
"That's not even half of it. Have you heard what she'd done to poor Bonecruncher? She build him up with confectionery of such divine taste that for a moment he was truly at peace with himself and the universe only to utterly destroy him when she left Gringotts. It was the ultimate power play. I fear he will be under the care of my mind healers for some time."
The head of the intelligence department nodded along.
"Indeed, our assassins also found cupcakes in their pockets. They wisely backed away from any attempts after finding them. Those stupid enough to have eaten one also swear to its divine delicacy. We fear their loyalties can no longer be trusted."
"So cunning, incredibly powerful and no scruples whatsoever. The client didn't lie that's for certain."
King Ragnuk slammed his throne with his fist.
"Damn it! This bint is playing four dimensional chess while we're here eating glue and crayons!"
"So what's our next move?" A brave goblin asked.
"Nothing, we delay. We tell our client that the attempt was made then we wait and see how this plays out. I want spies in the vicinity of the target at all times and activate our agent at Hogwarts at once. Keep me notified of any changes. Go."
The goblins of the council exited the war room and left Ragnuk with his thoughts.
"Let's see what you do next heiress Pie. The ball is in your court."