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// Epilogue 2 - Canon? We don't need no stinking Canon! 
// Story: Anarchy: Pony of Chaos 
// by Ninjadeadbeard 
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Twilight’s sun dipped below the horizon, at last bringing the day to an end. The orange hues bled out of the streets of Ponyville, replaced by the deeper purples, and eventually the blues of night. The grand old city had seen many sunsets like this one, and would see many more like it in the eons to come.

But for one couple, making their way out of town, towards the top of Kite Hill, the highest natural elevation near the city, this would be their last in this world.

For Discord and Fluttershy, the Former Spirit of Chaos and the Element of Kindness, respectively, were ready to die.

“You know?” the ancient, silvered mare mused, “I remember when we renamed it Kite Hill. Starlight’s funeral was so beautiful. I wish Sunburst had lived to see it.”

Discord, hardly changed by the centuries since his retirement, pushed along his wife’s chair and chuckled, “I think you didn’t mean to be cruel with that wish, my love.”

“Oops!” Fluttershy blushed, “I forgot! Please, don’t think poorly of me. I’m so forgetful these days…”

Discord leaned down and gave her a soft peck atop her silver mane, “Never. It’s natural for a pony your age to be a little forgetful.”

“Hm,” Fluttershy nodded, “Oh… how old am I again? Funny thing, memory.”

“Four-hundred and eighty-eight!” Discord loudly pronounced as they crested the hilltop, “But you don’t look a day over two-hundred. By design, you know…”

The two slowed down. Or, rather, Discord slowed down, and the chair-bound mare had to oblige him. They sat beneath a sea of stars, both looking up for a moment to marvel at the heavens one last time. A Draconequus paw settled onto Fluttershy’s shoulder, and her hoof held onto it in turn.

A small cough, however, interrupted their quiet moment.

“Um, hi?” Anarchy, Princess of Chaos, waved a hoof at her parents, who now turned to look at her. “What… is this?”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy frowned, “Is something the matter?”

“Besides the fact that you’ve suddenly gotten old?” Ann trot forward, looking over her shoulder at the city below the hill, “I mean, Ponyville looks like Manehattan right now. And I’ve gotten taller again. So, yeah. Something’s the matter.”

Discord gave Ann a look she’d only seen once or twice on her father’s face, and neither of those occasions were very good. He scrunched up his nose and sneered in her direction.

“Dad? What’s wrong with you? Seriously, a minute ago, we were all hunky-dorey getting to know Zee and May…”

Ann looked about, growing concern on her face, “Oh no! Where are the babies!?”

“Babies?” Fluttershy shook her head, “Ann, you’re not making any sense! May’s been working in Canterlot for… oh my, centuries now. And Frenzy…”

Fluttershy looked away, “Well, he always took more after his uncle in that regard…”

“What?” Ann sputtered, “Centuries? Canterlot? Uncle Zephyr? What?”

It was then that Ann noticed her father’s face shift. Before, he seemed positively peeved, like she had just interrupted something important. Now though, he almost looked… scared? No, concerned. Definitely concerned.

Discord glanced between Ann and Fluttershy several times, in rapid succession. Seeming to have made up his mind, the Draconequus reached over, and snapped his fingers right in front of his wife.

Fluttershy fell fast asleep, instantly. Magically. Her adorable little snores only confirmed it.

“Please,” Discord said with a pleading tone to his voice, “Please tell me you know what an Epilogue is?”

Ann frowned and threw up her forelegs, “Epilogue? Of course, I know what an epilogue is! What do you think I am? An idiot?”

She put on her best pout and crossed her forelegs in front of her. Then, with just the right amount of huff, she added, “But, for the benefit of the readership, why don’t you explain to them what an epilogue is?”

Discord gave a flat look to his daughter, and raised one eyebrow suspiciously.

“Ahem,” Ann coughed again, then smiled sheepishly, “Please?”

This got the former Lord to smile, and roll his eyes mirthfully. He began walking to the edge of the hill, and beckoned Ann to follow. They approached the edge, where Discord took his seat. Ann sat down beside him, and leaned in, as though she were listening to a story.

“Alright,” he began, “So… when you tell a story, what parts do you need?”

Ann frowned, and stuck her tongue out in thought. “I… think Miss Silver Spoon didn’t get to that part with us. Shady says he likes stories where everything makes sense…”

Discord pinched the bridge of his nose, “Okay, let me make this simple. Every story begins. Every story has something happen in it, and then every story…?”

He left the last part hanging for Ann, and she was quick to pick up the pattern he was laying out for her.

“Ends,” she said, “Every story needs… an ending…”

“Good! Glad you can follow along.” He held out his claw, and waved it about theatrically, “But sometimes, there aren’t enough endings to an ending. Sometimes, where the story should stop, and where the author wants it to stop, are two entirely different things.”

“I don’t think I get it,” Ann laid down in the grass, “If the story stops… then the story stops. There can’t be more ending than the ending… right?”

She felt her dad’s talons take hold of her cheek.

“Ah, my darling little thing,” Discord chuckled, “Proof that you don’t know quite everything yet!”

Ann didn’t resist, per say, but she didn’t much care for the cheek-pinching. Never did. Never will. Once he let go, she rubbed the sore spot and thought over her father’s strange remarks.

“Hmmm,” she hummed, “So… an epilogue is when the writer makes a mistake?”

Discord shrugged, “Close enough. He forgot to put more of something or somepony in his story, and desperately wants to throw some more in before it’s all over and he can’t anymore.”

“Can’t? Anymore?” Ann’s face morphed from confusion, to concern, to suddenly fearful. “Does… does that mean he’s not gonna write about us anymore!?”

“Ann…” Discord tried to speak calmly.

“OMIGOSH!” Ann leapt up into the air, “But I still had so much to do! So much to experience!!!”

“Ann…”

The Ponequus spun around in the air, pulling at her ears. “Did… did I not try hard enough? Didn’t people like my stories!?”

“Ann!”

“Was there fanart!? TELL ME THERE WAS FANART!!!”

Deciding that he’d had enough of this, Discord stuck his pinky talons into his mouth and let loose a shrieking whistle. The sound split the air, and cracked more than a few windows in the city down below. Far in the distance, one could hear car alarms going off.

Ann landed on her haunches, and covered her ears through the ordeal, even keeping her eyes shut, just in case. When it was all over, she slowly lifted her head, and looked up at her father.

“He’s going to write more of us, you know?” Discord said, warmly, with a smile. “He’s just got a bunch of other projects to get to.”

“Oh… that makes sense,” Ann mumbled. Her cheeks practically glowed in the night, so embarrassed was she.

Then, her face went all quizzical again. “But… wasn’t the last chapter an epilogue?”

“Can’t have too many epilogues, in my opinion.” Discord chuckled, and began walking around the hill top.

Ann pondered this.

“So…” she tapped her chin, “Why is this epilogue so much further ahead than the last? I… I was kinda hoping to be a foal for a while…”

Discord nodded, knowingly, “And you will. Jumping ahead like this doesn’t set anything in stone.”

“It doesn’t?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Then,” Ann waved her hoof about, trying to collect her thoughts, “Why is that? What’s the point?”

Discord smirked, and raised his eyebrows magnificently.

“Why, my dear,” he laughed, “Because this isn’t canon!”

“It’s…” Ann was taken aback, “It’s not?”

“Nope!” Discord smiled with glee, “Right now, anything is possible! The author wanted so desperately to have one more go with us before wrapping up that he went ahead and plotted this out!”

“Then what’s the point!?” Ann scowled, “If nothing matters…”

“Then everything matters!”

“That… that doesn’t make sense,” Ann shook her head.

Discord just nodded. “Yes. And?”

Ann paused in thought.

“Oh,” she sighed, “I guess that would make this…”

“Chaos Central!” little fireworks went off as Discord laughed.

Ann facehoofed, again. This was yet another of her Dad’s weird Chaos ventures. She’d thought she’d be done with these things by now.

“So… what?” she said, “We get to just… spout off headcanons and crackships to our hearts’ content?”

The way Discord’s smile kept growing, Ann was certain he’d pop before too long. And when that happened, she was not cleaning up the mess.

“But why does Mom have to be old?”

Discord sighed, and sat down in front her again. He pulled a chunk of grass out of the hill, revealing it to be filled with nougat, which he began sucking on with wild abandon.

“Basically,” he said in between mouthfuls, “This writer guy came up with a little Tolkien homage way back when he started planning this all out. But, in the meantime, things changed. Ideas changed. And before you know it, he had that whole ‘Twilight investigating Alicornhood for her friends’ subplot.”

“Oh, yeah,” Ann nodded, following along, “Guess that’s gonna come up with the sequel? Or, anthology? What the heck is he doing…?”

Discord waved her concerns away, “Regardless, things changed, but he liked the idea too much to delete, so here we are. We have a nice family moment, hint at some lore that may…”

“Or may not!” Ann smiled at the notion, now catching onto what this whole business was about.

“… come to pass!” Discord cheered, “And then wrap up the whole series for the moment with a song!”

Ann frowned again, “A song?”

“Well,” he shrugged back, and hopped up to his feet, “Theme song. I guess he listens to it while writing you.”

“That’s not weird or creepy at all,” Ann groaned.

Discord walked back over to where they’d left Fluttershy snoozing. “Now, help me out with this, have some fun, and let’s give your mother a nice ‘Grey Havens’ type send-off before the author makes everyone immortal and ruins his own alt-verse.”

“Would that be so bad?” Ann trotted over to where she thought she’d been standing before.

“Eh,” Discord shrugged, “Personally, I like the sadder stories where everyone dies. They’re more realistic, and they tend to have Twilight maturing and moving past loss, like a real person ought.”

“She’s a magical purple horse!”

“Irrelevant!” Discord brought his talons up, ready to snap the story back on track, when he looked over to Ann and asked, “We need to seed more lore stuff. Who’d you ship yourself with?”

“What?”

He persisted. “Come on, who’d you ship yourself with? Cheese? I know you liked him enough to go evil…”

“What!?” Ann’s eyes flashed fire as she realized what he was asking, “Ew! Dad! No! I’m three-months old! I shouldn’t be shipping with anycreature!”

“You’re a couple centuries old right now…”

“Stop it! You’re my Dad! Stop thinking about it!”

Discord huffed. “Fine! I was just trying to be an involved parent…”

“Just snap your dang fingers already!” she scowled, “And stop thinking about my love life before I do!”

The Draconequus quickly snapped his fingers, and Fluttershy awoke. She groggily lifted herself up in her chair, and yawned deeply. Then, almost embarrassed, she looked around, and blushed.

“Oh my! I didn’t mean to nod off there!”

Ann walked up to her, smiling, “Ah, it’s okay, Mom. It’s past bedtime, right?”

“Oh, yes. I suppose it is,” Fluttershy looked up at her husband again, “Didn’t you say there was something to see up here?”

“In a while, my dear,” Discord patted her head, “Just a little while, then I’ll show you my surprise.”

The three took up a spot atop the hill, and took in the stars once more. They’d shifted and changed in the short time they’d been up tonight, courtesy, no doubt, of a bored and awake Luna killing time before her next…

“Gig?” Discord offered, glancing curiously over at Ann.

“I guess?” she hummed for a moment before saying, “Maybe she’s a DJ?”

Discord frowned, but said nothing. He clearly didn’t approve, but it had already been established in the canon-not-canon of the epilogue.

“It will just be Twilight left,” Fluttershy sighed, wiping away a little tear, “She’ll only have Flurry Heart and her family, and Celestia and Luna… oh, and Celeste…”

“Liches…” Discord scoffed and rolled his eyes in contempt.

“Gesundheit,” Ann whispered.

“… and then there’s the Apples, the Pies, Ann, May, Zee, my animals…”

Fluttershy blinked a few times, and for once not to look past a cataract.

“Um, on second thought, I think Twilight will be fine, actually. It sounds like she’s still got a lot of us around…”

Fluttershy slightly leaned forward, and began glancing around.

“Mom?” Ann frowned, “What’s wrong?”

“Just feels like somepony is missing,” the elderly mare continued looking about. Then, she looked to her daughter, and asked, “Where’s Cozy Glow?”

Ann’s lips tightened. She’d completely forgotten about her parolee! The Ponequus looked up to her father, panic settling in.

Discord shrugged, and mouthed back, ‘Make something up!’

So… that’s what she did.

“Cozy… um,” Ann patted the grass at her hooves, “She’s… fine.”

“Fine?” asked Fluttershy.

“Fine!?” Discord gritted his teeth.

“Yes,” Ann nodded, “Um… we’re fine.”

“We?” asked Fluttershy.

“WE!?” Discord began tearing his ears off.

“Yes,” Ann licked her lips, thinking fast. Too fast. “We’re married, remember?”

Discord’s teeth clenched so hard they shattered. Fluttershy’s eyes widened, slightly… but then she just nodded, and smiled once more.

“Oh, yes. I forgot. The grandfoals were cute, at least…”

Ann took a step out of Fluttershy’s view and started silently retching and choking. Discord joined her, quickly pouring both a cup of seltzer. That being downed, Ann pulled a pair of ear-mufflers out, and placed them over Fluttershy’s head from behind.

“What was that!?” she whispered, shocked and disturbed by what she’d said.

“A good sign I need to take you to improv classes when we get back to Continuity,” Discord shivered, “Eugh… grandfoals…”

“Don’t remind me!”

“Well, we’d better stop before this Not-Real-Reality can’t take it anymore,” Discord glanced around, wondering aloud about the universe’s stability, “Don’t want Lil Cheese to have turned into an accountant or something…”

Ann grabbed her father by the shoulder, and forced the Draconequus to face her. “Look, Dad… Mom’s supposed to be the reader, right? That’s the metaphor we’re working with here?”

“Right,” he nodded.

“Good,” Ann frowned, “So, you want to give her a good send-off? Give the readers a good send-off? Then, now. Do it, now!”

“Alright. Alright!” he sighed, “Spoilsport…”

Ann smirked, “They’ve already read over a hundred-thousand words, you know. Don’t want to drag out that good will any more than we have to. Now get on with it!”

Fluttershy, ear-mufflers still on, gasped. “Oh no!”

Ann whipped them off her mother’s head and leaned in close, “What’s wrong?”

The Element of Kindness blushed, “I forgot about Sombra. He and Twilight’s anniversary is coming up soon. Wish I’d left a gift or something…”

Ann and Discord shared a look. It was angry. It was disgusted.

“Right,” Discord sighed, “Shipping was a dumb idea. This needs to end. Oh, look!”

Right where the Regent of Chaos pointed, off in the star-studded sky, a new light appeared. Slowly, the light approached, as the light of a boat that comes near the shore. It bobbed, and flickered, and it shone white as the moon.

And then, Ann realized it really was a boat. A rowboat, to be specific. The craft set its prow into the top of the hill, mooring itself. It was worked in dark oak, covered in spiraling designs and symbols of life; trees, birds, animals big and small.

The boat’s pilot appeared to be a rather small pony, dressed in a familiar white robe and beard.

Ann glanced up at the pilot. “Uh… why are you wearing that?”

“Because you didn’t,” Screwball peaked out from under her hood and winked her spiraling eyes.

“Huh?” Ann frowned.

Screwball looked around for a moment, looking for something. Then, the earth filly pulled out a stack of papers crudely stapled together, and began flipping through them.

“Okay,” she paused in her quick reading, “Is this the first or second draft?”

“We’re up to three,” Discord held up a claw with the number. “You’ve got an older script.”

Screwball tossed the whole thing over her head, “Oh, phooey! Who’s playing Gandalf then?”

Ann rolled her eyes, “Don’t you have your own universe to annoy?”

“Well!” the other pony of Chaos sniffed, “I can see where I’m not wanted. Fine then! Have it your way!”

Screwball took a bow before her small audience, and then spun her propeller hat with a swat from her hoof. It spun and spun and spun… until the filly herself was suddenly sucked straight into the hat, and… poof!

She was gone.

“Hm,” said Fluttershy, smiling, “She was nice.”

Discord coughed into his paw, then said, “Yes, well… um, Fluttershy? I do believe your ship has come in.”

“Ship?” the pegasus tilted her head, curious.

Discord indicated the floating rowboat, “Indeed! It’s time that we made our final exit.”

“Oh,” this time, her voice was low, and quiet, “Already?”

Ann’s hoof fell onto her shoulder, and the elderly mare looked up into the face of the first Ponequus she ever loved.

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” Ann smiled. Her throat tightened, but she pushed onward, saying, “We’ll see each other again, right?”

Fluttershy smiled back, and reached up to nuzzle her little girl one more time. “Yes,” she said, softly, “I suppose you’re right. Every journey ends, but that’s never the end of the story…”

Lord and Princess of Chaos locked eyes with one another, and nodded as one.

“Couldn’t have said it better,” Discord held out a paw for his beloved.

Fluttershy took his paw, and, with great difficulty, she pulled herself from the chair. Her hooves were shaky, and her vision blurred. Her wings shivered in a cold wind only she could feel… and yet, she stood.

In fact, she walked. It wasn’t more than a few feet away, but Fluttershy’s legs held as she marched forward, one hoof supported by Discord, and a protective batwing from Ann held over her other side, just in case.

The three reached the boat, and Fluttershy stepped aboard. Instantly, Ann could see the change. Her mother’s legs steadied. Her wings ceased their fidgeting. The old mare turned…

And Ann saw a smile that could coax the sun out at midnight. Its beatific nature felt like a rush of cool, clean air, like a sip of spring water. It was so beautiful, Ann thought she would cry.

In fact, she did. The tears flowed on their own, without her consent. It had only hit her now, just what this was. Just why this was happening. This was the end. The real ending. Be it her mother, or the readers, or innocence, or what have you… this story was over, and she could never take it back or do it over.

It was the finality of it all that got to Ann. That things had to end.

Fluttershy, dear Fluttershy, saw all that and more. She reached over the lip of the boat, and kissed Ann’s tears.

“Well,” Fluttershy sighed, meeting Ann’s eyes with her own, and sharing all the love she could through that one act, “Here, at last, at the edge of Kite Hill, comes the end of our fellowship. I won’t say, ‘don’t cry’, Ann. Not all tears are evil.”

Ann… just stared. She glanced, quickly, to her dad…

Whose jaw had dropped. When their eyes met, he silently asked her, ‘Did you tell her about that quote?’

‘No!’ Ann’s eyes screamed, ‘I thought you did!’

They stared at one another a moment… before the giggling started. And within moments, Ponequus, Draconequus, and pegasus were laughing beneath the starry, starry night. All thoughts of loss, or of threads, or of narrative devices were forgotten for a moment.

They could just live. And laugh. And love.

As family.

There were no more words, nor tears to share. Discord picked up the discarded paddle, and stood at the back of the little boat. While whistling a  jaunty tune, he pushed off from the edge of the hill, and allowed the boat to drift back into the air.

Discord and Fluttershy waved their last goodbyes, and with a flourish that was all his own, the former Lord of Chaos carried his beloved into the night sky. He looked out, and saw the first star on the right. There was his goal now… straight on til morning… and then… white shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise…





As that boat sailed off into its final journey, Ann waved her last goodbyes. For now, she hoped. Whether this was the first tale of many, or the very last, she didn’t know. But as she lay down atop the hill overlooking Ponyville, she could only hope and wonder.

And dream. She could always dream of the words to come. Of Zap Apple’s first steps, and of May and Zee’s first days of school. The adventures she and the other Crusaders would go on. Cheese, and Shady, and Pearl, and Goldie, and Dib, and Beau, and Flawless, and Moon… The laughs they’d share. The heartache too. The beauty of imagination unbound.

“And the fanart,” Ann smiled, as sleep closed in, “Gotta remember the fanart. Hope they get my eyes right…”






The Real End