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// I've seen some crazy stuff, but this!! 
// Story: Equestrian Battle Tendency 
// by luckyboys121 
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JoJo stared up in horror as the monster before him shifted his arms into wings while smugly saying, "Did you really think a little eruption was enough to conquer the likes of me? I'll just fly my way to safety."

As his mind went into overtime to try and find a way out of this he thought, "Bugger all, I know this wasn't much of a plan to begin with, but it still couldn't have gone worse. Now I'm about to die helpless while Kars goes to finish off Von Stroheim, and then everyone else on Earth!"

Just as JoJo was about to fall into a pit of despair at the idea of all his friends and his last remaining family member dieing, Kars began to flap away as he said, "ENJOY THE FRUITS OF YOUR FOLLY JOJO!"

Suddenly something no one could of possible expected happened, the very arm that Kars had sliced off JoJo a few moments ago had somehow launched itself right into Kars's throat. As JoJo chuckled at seeing this smug bastard suddenly coughing  up blood, he said, "Who's laughing now?" 

Seeing that Kars could do little more then cough up more blood as a response, his confidence became fully restored as he pointed at him saying, "LET ME GUESS! You're gonna say, 'did you plan this too JoJo, tell me?!'"

Kars turned his attention back to JoJo as his throat started to heal and he struggled to say, "How-how do you always know?" It appeared his pain wasn't over yet though as while his focus was turned to JoJo, rocks suddenly shot into his body both wounding him and launching much higher and faster. He screamed from the pain before yelling, "DID YOU PLAN THIS TOO JOJO, TELL ME?!"

JoJo smiled at this, not just because he was right but because he could see more rocks rocketing towards Kars that he couldn't possible dodge. He decided now was the best time to add insult to injury as he yelled, "WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING, I SET THE TRAP AND YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO IT! ALL OF THIS WENT DOWN LIKE CLOCKWORK!" He then pumped his fist into the air to make it look as though he was somehow controlling the rocks that now pummeled Kars's body as he once again screamed in pain.

It was at that moment Kars realized what exactly was happening as he could feel the air disappear around him and gravity lose it's hold as he screamed, "NO DAMN YOU!" before dissapearing into the vacuum of space.

JoJo now had the biggest smile of his life as he watched Kars drift further and further away until he couldn't see him anymore and he thought to himself, "I know I should be upset I couldn't actually kill you, but having you live forever thinking I outsmarted you is even better." It was at that point he felt the rock he was on come to its apex before it started tumbling down.

He knew he was probably going to die, but his smile never faded as he took comfort in the fact that everyone else would be OK. "It's over granny and Strohiem. Old Speedwagon, Smokey, and... Lisa Lisa, everyone... goodbye," he thought before he closed his eyes accepting his fate as he soon passed out from a combination of the G force on his body and his severe blood loss, expecting never to wake up again. 

Meanwhile in the Golden Oaks Library

As Spike dusted the shelf thinking, "I don't know why I have to do this so often. It's not like Twilight lets these books sit long enough to actually get dusty." He then glanced over to see Twilight reading her latest book from Celestia as he said, "Well I guess I can complain out loud if I want, I doubt she's gonna hear me anytime soon."

He had every reason to believe this as Twilight had been reading this book nonstop last night, he would have criticized her for pulling an all nighter like this, but  given all the times she had caught him staying up reading comics he didn't have much room to talk. 

He simply shook his head before he suddenly heard a scream from her as he ran up in concern saying, "OH MY GOSH TWILIGHT! WHAT'S WRONG!"

The mare quickly turned to him with bloodshot eyes filled with horror as she stammered, "It smu-smu-"

"It what Twilight?" asked Spike as he placed his claw on her in concern. 

Twilight then turned her eyes down to Spike, further showing the horror in them as she said, "It's smudged."

At hearing this Spike's concern suddenly turned to confusion as he said, "What?"

Twilight then levitated the book in front of him as she said, "The last page of Starwirl's Unabridged Guide to Arcane Energy Fields is smudged to the point that I CAN'T READ IT!" 

While Twilight had a look on her face as if this was the end of the world, Spike simply face clawed as he said, "Is that all?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IS THAT ALL!?" said Twilight offended at how lightly he was taking this.

"Well I mean, can't you just ask Celestia for another copy or something?" asked Spike casually as he got back to work.

"No I can't, this is the only copy and it came from her personal library, it's unknown if there is even another copy in all of Equestria," said Twilight in fear that she would never see how this tome ended.

Spike looked at her and sighed as he said, "Well that was the only copy from Celestia's library in Canterlot Castle, but maybe she or Luna had one in their old castle."

At this Twilight's fear suddenly melted to excitement as she said, "OF COURSE! The Castle of the Two Sisters, we were so busy looking for the Elements of Harmony last time we where there that I didn't even think to check the library."

Spike smiled at Twilight's sudden joy as he got to work dusting and said, "We can check it out after I finish the chores, and I'm sure some of other friends wouldn't mind a trip there we should ask them along the way."

Unfortunately for Spike Twilight couldn't contain her excitement and had grabbed a map of the Everfree Forest and her saddlebag and had left as soon as he turned his back. 


Meanwhile in the Everfree forest

JoJo groaned as he began to regain consciousness. He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it as the sudden light began to disorient him. "Damn it all, this pounding headache almost makes me wish I had died," he said before he forced himself to reopen his eyes and let them adjust. "Though, I haven't the foggiest idea how I didn't die," he said before he finally got a clear look around and continued saying, "or how I ended up in a forest of all places."

He then tried to get on his feet, only to have his balance feel completely wrong as he immediately fell back down. He chuckled as he said, "Well I suppose it was naive of me to think that I would suddenly be unscathed, even if I don't feel anywhere as bad as I should. I suppose I must have been Hamon breathing in my sleep to heal some of it." He then turned his gaze down saying, "Now what's see what the damage is EH!" He stammered as he couldn't exactly tell what he was looking at, as he saw his green tank top and scarf but beyond that nothing looked recognizable.

"Wha-WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled as he brought his front hooves in front of his face, "WHA-WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HANDS!? There like hooves, and," he then got up on all fours and looked back as he said, "and so do my feet and... why the hell do I have tattoo of a magnifying glass on my ass!" He went from confusion to anger as he said, "Wha- OH I GET IT! This must have been some kind of final revenge from Kars! He could change his own body after all, so it stands to reason he might have been able to change the bodies of others as well." 

He groaned before saying, "Well I suppose there are worse things then being turned into... I want to say horse but given my size relative to these trees pony seems more fitting, albeit a little emasculating." He then got to his hooves and began walking as he said, "Well I suppose it can't be helped, all I can do is get back to Lisa Lisa and hope she has some kind of Hamon technique to change me back." 

As he began walking noticing something shiny nearby and moved towards it. Once he got close he smiled as said, "Oh what luck, the Red Stone of Aja landed here too!" He picked it up and tucked it into his shirt before he paused as he said, "Wait... how did I just pick that up with hooves?"

In another part of the Everfree

Twilight giddily looked at her saddle bag full of books as she said, "I can't believe how much was in just the one library I found, not just the book I needed, but all kinds of others from the Pre-Equestrian Era! I just wish I had grabbed a bigger saddle bag." 

As she walked she began to stumble a little bit as she said, "Woah, guess I was a bit more tired then I thought, maybe I should have waited for Spike after all."

Then as if to answer that yes she should have, Twilight began to hear growls as several yellow glowing eyes began to appear around her."

"Tim-timber wolves," stammered Twilight as she ignited her horn to defend herself, or at least tried to her as she soon discovered her mind was too fatigued to do even the most basic of combat spells. Upon seeing just how helpless their prey was, the timber wolves exited their hiding places and began approaching her as she nervously chuckled saying, "Yup, definitely should have waited for Spike." 

She looked for an opening, and as soon as she found she took off running, not knowing where she was headed as long as it was away from them. Unfortunately in her haste she didn't notice several low hanging vines and soon found herself tripped and tangled up in them. She struggled to try and break free of them as she heard the wolves approaching. It didn't take long to for her to realize she wouldn't be able to get out in time, and after weighing her options she realized she couldn't hide as they where tracking her by smell. So even though noise could lead to her being found faster she screamed, "SOMEPONY PLEASE HELP! HELP!!"

JoJo's ears perked up at the shrill call as he made his way towards it saying, "That, that sounded like a woman in danger... damn, I really wish I had my old body right now, even if this one can fight I think the woman would be more appreciative if a muscular and are I share deviously handsome man saved her instead of some horse. I suppose it can't be helped though, horse body or no horse body Joseph Joestar isn't the type to run away from someone who needs help."

"HELP SOMEPONY! ANYPONY!" yelled Twilight as she saw the wolves getting closer and closer. Just when she started to lose a hope, her calls where answered as suddenly a muscular earth pony stallion came rushing from forest and now stood between her and the wolves.

The stallion glanced back and smiled as he said, "Hmm, well looks like the Kars revenge theory didn't pan out unless he somehow turned the whole world into ponies."

"Wha-," stammered Twilight in confusion as she couldn't make a lick of sense out of what her "savior" was saying.

He only smiled at this as he said, "Don't worry about it mademoiselle, just sit tight and let Joseph Joestar do his thing."

He then turned his sights to the timber wolves and with a look of determination took in a Hamon breath.



He felt the energy flow into his hoof and while he still wasn't sure about his fighting ability in this body, he charged forward and struck the nearest timber wolf saying, "Hamon Overdrive!" only to receive an instant surprise as it cracked apart from this one hit. "Wha-what the," he glanced at the remains in confusion before looking at the other creatures standing before him as he said, "You- you guys are made of sticks?" 

He then paused with a smirk as he got back into his fighting stance saying, "Well I guess I've seen more bizarre things then this, and at least this makes my job here easier." 

Twilight began yelling at him, "WAIT THEY-"

But her words fell on deaf ears as JoJo happily began smacking the wolves as he said, "Say this is actually kind of fun, it's like fighting paper mache dolls." 

Soon JoJo had cracked apart all of them and confidently swaggered over to Twilight as he said, "No need to thank me, just doing what any gentleman would."

He soon reached her and began to untie her as she said, "Hurry, we have to get out of here."

"Oh hoh, well if you insist on thanking me I suppose I wouldn't object to having dinner with you tonight, you know you're actually kind of cute for a pony girl," said JoJo as he took his sweet time untangling the vines.

"What, no," said Twilight blushing as she tried to continue only to be interrupted again.

"Don't worry, it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, heck after all the Italian food I've been having to eat recently I could go for some classic fish and chips," said JoJo before finally getting the vines untied.

Twilight instantly leaped to her hooves embarrassed as she said, "I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU YOU IDIOT! LOOK BEHIND YOU!"

JoJo did as he was told and turned to see the wolves where now coming back together as he said, "Huh, they can regenerate."

"YES! That is what I was trying to tell you, timber wolves aren't particular durable but they never give up when they've found prey and that's what makes them dangerous," said Twilight.

"I see," said JoJo as he turned back to wolves with a huge smile saying, "Well then I guess it's time for my secret technique."

"Se-secret technique, what kind of secret technique?" asked Twilight.

JoJo only smiled wider before doing a sharp one 180 turn and taking off as he said, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" 

"Wha-what kind of technique is that!?" asked Twilight in agitation as she followed after him. 

"I'd say it's a pretty good one when dealing with immortal creatures like these," said JoJo as he quickly made his way forward.

"Well.. I guess," said Twilight as she couldn't argue his point, and honestly would have done the same thing after blasting them herself if she could, but something about the way this stallion did it just seemed to rub her the wrong way.

And so they kept running and running until they got past the tree line and saw there was nowhere left to run as they reached a cliffs edge.

As they sat at the edge and saw the creatures making there way towards them, Twilight turned to JoJo annoyed as she said, "Great plan."

JoJo simply smiled at this as he said, "Thanks but it's not over yet."

"Wha-wha," said Twilight as her annoyance melted into surprise and confusion.



"You see it is not mere coincidence that we have ended up at this cliff, I could tell by the incline of the ground and the way the wind was flowing that there had to be one here," said JoJo confidently. 

"OK, but how is that going to help us?" asked Twilight even more curious.

JoJo's smile turned more smug as he pointed in front of them and said, "Why don't you take a look at the ground in front of us."

Twilight did and gasped in shock as she said, "Wha- are, are those the vines I was tied up in... formed into a web?"

"Indeed they are," said JoJo as the timber wolves finally made there way in front of them, and just as they where about to reach them he placed his hooves onto the edge of the vines saying, "The're the perfect conductor for my Hamon Overdrive!"

He pumped the vines full of Hamon causing the Timberwolves to break apart again, only this time due to their momentum the pieces kept going afterwards. The wolves had all been running at full speed, excited that their prey had finally been cornered, but that excitement was there undoing as their speed carried all their remains past Twilight and JoJo and over the cliff edge.

The two of them watched as the pile of the sticks that had been chasing them now tumbled away. 

"Wow," said Twilight as she looked over embarrassed saying, "I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Eh, you're not the first," said JoJo with a casual shrug. 

Twilight smiled this as she thought, "That was actually really clever of him, I guess this stallion is smarter then he looks." She then reached out her hoof as she said, "Well thank you for saving me, my names Twilight Sparkle and... what did you say your name was again?"

He took her hoof as he said, "Joseph Joestar, but please... call me JoJo."