Spitfire could not be angrier, more put-out, peeved, cheesed-off, or otherwise upset by the current state of affairs.
Her city, Couldsdale, was still smoking. They’d stopped the pink stuff from billowing out of the factories, but black wasn’t a sight better.
The Prime Minister and her entourage were not only furious at what happened, but had called for another press conference to get the Minister’s grievances out on the radio, and her picture in the papers the next day.
The factory would need weeks of reservicing before they could put together a squall, let alone First Snow again.
It was looking like a mountain of paperwork, griping city officials, and endless complaints from here til Hearth’s Warming for Spitfire, as she sat on the edge of the cloud city, chin on hoof in silent, furious contemplation. The only good thing was that she’d been given leave for a week, along with everypony else who’d been accosted in the Weather Factory by that UCB (Unknown Chaos Being).
So, at least Soarin and Wildfire would get something out of all this…
The former Wonderbolt felt a feathery wing drape across her shoulders. She didn’t visually acknowledge it, despite the gesture being from Royalty.
“Well,” Flurry Heart chuckled, “It isn’t all bad, now is it?”
“It stinks,” Spitfire grumbled.
“Well, yes, it does,” the Princess sighed, “But at least we got to see something interesting…"
Spitfire’s eyes ticked up, away from the ground slowly drifting by, and towards the… thing towing them.
A purple earth pony, with a spinning-propeller hat on her head, and spirals in her eyes, looked back over her shoulder from where she was piloting a little tugboat, and waved back at the two ponies. The boat puttered across the sky, dragging the whole of Cloudsdale behind it, despite only being connected by a length of yarn from its stern to the bit of cloud where Spitfire was now sitting.
“Dash,” she whispered-growled, “This is one of your stupid adventures, I just know it. And I’ll get you for this.”
“Hm?” Flurry smiled, “Plotting revenge?”
“Plotting revenge.”
“Need some help?”
Spitfire glanced up to the Princess, and smirked. “Yeah. That sounds good.”
The festivities surrounding Ann’s Cutie Mark had gone on deep into the night. There was much carousing, cake, and punch to be had, and all would agree it was a merry time to be in the Palace of Canterlot. And as the evening hours got nearer and nearer to day, the guests began to turn in for a restful sleep, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders specifically enjoying a sleepover together at the Palace itself.
By this point in the evening, however, the Royal Sisters had taken flight from the Palace, and were on their way back to Silver Shoals, confidant enough now in Grogar’s redemption to not need to foalsit him back in Ponyville.
Well, to be honest, ‘taken flight’ implied many things which were not, strictly speaking, true. Such a phrase sounded noble, and left the impression in one’s mind of grace, and beauty, and the wonderment of Alicorn Princesses soaring majestically through the sky.
In truth, Luna was quite alright, not being one to overindulge at parties. Her magical aura was busy at the moment holding her sister Celestia’s wings out in a ridged, gliding position, the former Princess of the Sun and former Equestrian Diarch being stuck in the throes of a diabetic coma after consuming several times her weight in cake.
Luna wondered, if anypony were to look up now, would they assume she were towing a weather balloon?
Eventually, a snork from her left signaled Celestia’s return to the land of the living.
“Enjoyed yourself tonight, did we? Tia?” Luna smirked while maintaining their heading.
“Guh, blegh… ulp!” the rapidly green-shifting Alicorn spluttered.
“You know it’s going to take a lot of work, or a lot of spellcasting to burn off all that cake.”
“Gul… bluegh…”
Luna nodded, sagely, “True enough. True enough. I do hope it was a good idea leaving Grogar behind for now.”
“Jibb glaurg?”
“As glad as I am for his sudden contrition,” the Moon Princess looked back over her shoulder as though she could still see Ponyville or the Palace from here, “I was under constant surveillance once I had been freed of the Nightmare. I only hope he maintains this change for the better.”
“…”
“Quite right!” Luna laughed, “I suppose we will just have to leave it in Anarchy’s capable hooves.”
Luna’s ears perked up at a sudden, suspiciously squelching, retching sound to her left.
“Sister,” she chided, “Somepony could be below us right now! Either practice your breathing exercises or aim for a bush!”
“I’ll never get used to teleporting,” Rainbow Dash grumbled and felt her stomach churn once Twilight had popped back up to the castle. It had been nice, getting the longest part of the journey out of the way, but there was a reason Dash, and Applejack, for that matter, preferred the old-fashioned way of getting somewhere. She could have taken them all the way, but both mares agreed they’d need a little walk tonight.
“Won’t hear no complaint from me,” Applejack sighed as she looked up the familiar path along Ponyville’s outskirts that would lead her home. “But at least we can git ahead of this Frosted business now, before she causes a ruckus.”
Rainbow Dash glanced down at the Apple matriarch. “You think she’ll cause trouble?”
“Well,” Applejack sighed, “Granny apparently kicked her out of the family at some point, an’ she never thought ta talk about her ageen. So… I’m inclined ta think Frosted’s trouble. Even if she weren’t no zombie.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Dash said quietly, less sure of that answer than she thought she would be.
The two walked and flew, respectively, along the dirt road. The moon and stars were out, and the cool autumn air was precisely what they both needed after a few good hours partying with friends.
“How long would it take somepony to run all the way from Canterlot to Sweet Apple Acres anyway?” Rainbow Dash mused. “Bet a pegasus could do it in… oh, six hours!”
“You?” Applejack snorted, “Or jes’ a regular pegasus? Cause, I think ye got the advantage there, bein’ the fastest mare alive.”
Rainbow laughed, “Heh, nah! I could do it in ten minutes, flat!”
“Sure, ye can,” Applejack just smiled at her exuberant wife, “But now, you git the right earth pony, an’ I bet we could beat any pegasus down tha’ mountain.”
“Falling off the mountain doesn’t count!” Dash rolled her eyes, “It’s too close to flying, which is a moral win for the pegasi!”
“Not… sure that’s how it works,” Applejack shook her head and took a moment to air out her Stetson. Fighting it out with an Alicorn Cozy Glow, partying with their friends, and then fighting it out in a different sense with Discord over his whole magical-screw-up involving Applejack and Dash’s foal…
Well, it tired a pony out something powerful.
They were just coming over the last rise before the farm itself, when Rainbow’s head raised up suddenly, and she said, “Uh… AJ?”
Applejack replaced her hat, and took a look up at the blue pegasus. “Yeah? What’s up, sugarcube?”
“What… color did they say Frosted Apple was?”
Applejack closed her eyes and tried to recall the precise discussion they’d had earlier in the evening. “I think… pale coat, like cream. An’ a fiery red mane and tail. Why?”
Rainbow’s eyes narrowed, and she pointed down the road with one hoof.
“Because I think that’s her… and she’s with the family!”
One could say that Applejack had, over the past so many years, learned to slow down and take her time with all things. One could say that she was a temperate sort, who preferred to take a moment to think something through before she took action.
One had clearly not seen an Apple mare when her family was threatened. Applejack fired off at a gallop so quick that it took Dash almost a full two-seconds to catch up. They swept down the road, kicking up a wall of dust and debris behind them as they went.
Applejack’s nostrils flared, and her eyes narrowed as she reached the farm proper, and saw that… that creature standing in the middle of the clearing, just feet away from Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Sugar Belle, and their colt Big Sugar.
The crème-colored mare, with her red mane and tail, and black Stetson, stood like a ghoulish vision from one of those Penny-Dreadfuls Apple Bloom loved to read. A pale ghost, that’s all she was.
They’d heard the commotion made by Rainbow’s wings and Applejack’s thundering hooves. All eyes were on them in an instant… though more confusion than relief, as Applejack would have expected.
And then, the creature turned…
The moonlight glinted off her tear-stained cheeks.
The energy drained away from Applejack’s legs as she neared. Rainbow noticed, and kept pace with her, both of them coming up short of the others by a good couple yards.
“Applejack! Rainbow!” Apple Bloom waved a hoof in happy greeting, “We were jes’ talkin’ ta Frosted Apple here! She says she’s family!”
“Git away from her!” Applejack snapped back, startling the rest of the Apples.
The farm was silent, except for the echoes of that sharp shout. Big Sugar hid behind his folks, and Apple Bloom, despite the confusion and alarm on her face, followed her sister’s warning and took several steps backward.
Rainbow Dash glanced back and forth, between Applejack, and Frosted. There was clear concern in her eyes, but for once, she kept silent as well.
Frosted looked back at the Apples she’d been talking to, and then towards the newest arrival, whose presence practically screamed Matriarch. Frosted fidgeted on the spot, clearly a little shaken, not sure what she needed to say, or to whom.
“Frosted Apple?” Applejack glared at her.
“Ah reckon Ah am,” Frosted licked her lips and tried to settle her stance, “Ah come home.”
“This ain’t yer home,” Applejack growled, “From what I’ve been told, you were kicked out.”
Frosted’s ears drooped, “Ah… Ah’d hoped… Ah mean, Greeny did tell me ta fix mah ways…”
It was at the mention of her cousin that had Frosted’s ears back up, eyes widening with a realization. She looked at Applejack, and then gazed directly at the shawl around her neck.
Applejack’s hoof went up, protectively, like she might suspect Frosted would snatch it away. “What?”
“Greeny…” Frosted tilted her hat down, tried to hide the fresh tears, “She’s… she’s gone, ain’t she?”
Applejack’s tone softened, if only a bit, “’Bout ten years.”
Frosted sniffed, but kept her head down. “Ah’d hoped she’d be here. Then… then Ah could ‘pologize… Ah gots nowhere else ta go. She was the only one who…”
Something touched Frosted’s shoulder. She shivered, at first, to feel that first hoof. But there was a warmth in it that she couldn’t deny.
It was only when she felt feathers envelope her in a hug that Frosted looked back up to see the cyan mare with the rainbow mane trying to comfort her.
“Ah… what?” was all she could say.
“You good with kids?” Rainbow Dash smiled, “Or, can you do chores to earn your keep?”
Frosted blinked.
“Ah… Ah can do. Yeah.”
That seemed enough for Rainbow, who just nodded, and started past her towards the house. “Good enough! We’ll start you out easy until you figure out the routine again. Being dead, you might have forgotten some things.”
“DASH!” Applejack’s angry shout caused Frosted and the other three Apples to flinch.
But Rainbow Dash just kept walking.
“Dashie!” Applejack charged forward, “What in tarnation are you thinkin’? We don’t know a thing about her! She’s a zombie fer land’s sake!”
Rainbow Dash stopped, and turned her head around to watch Applejack catch up to her. Then, she said, with as serious of a tone as any had heard come from Rainbow Dash before, “Sugarcube? She’s family, right?”
“What?” that caught the Apple mare off-guard, “I… I guess, technically…”
“Well, there you go!” Dash smiled, “Family is family. Even when the seas are wide, even when they’re not here. And especially if they are!”
Applejack’s ears twitched. All anger flushed out of her in an instant, replaced by a haunting sense of… déjà vu.
“Where’d…?”
“Granny,” Dash said, simple as that, “Right before… well, we’d been together just a bit. And she wanted to make sure I understood what I was getting into.”
Dash looked over to Frosted, who’d been taking in the whole exchange with a look that hinged on the line between sorrow and hope.
“Come on, Frosted,” she said, “Let’s get everypony fed up. I bet some apple pie and ice cream is the best desert right now!”
The whole Apple family watched Rainbow Dash trot back inside, and listened for a moment as she started getting plates and the spread going.
“Huh,” Sugar Belle smiled, “Did… did Rainbow Dash just out-Apple the Apples?”
“Eeyup…”
“Sure did…”
And with that, Frosted and Applejack were left alone in the yard, their family heading in for a plate of pie and ice cream for a late evening supper. They each, without looking at the other, sat down on their haunches, with a distant look to them. They pulled off their Stetsons, and wiped their brows before settling the hats back on their respective heads.
Then, they looked at one another.
This… would take some time.
Early morning light filled the Palace at Canterlot, and there was hardly a single pony who was not glad to see it. Guards and staff were beaming, bright and cheerful faces drinking in the sunlight of a new day they might not have seen had things gone a little wrong the previous night.
Though, much of the cheer was from the Cutie Mark Crusaders having made their leave at sunrise. Yes, getting those troublemakers out of Canterlot had lifted a terrible weight from everyponies’ shoulders.
Besides, with the Princess Twilight and her usual entourage, there was always Canterlot’s local troublemakers to deal with.
Prince Blueblood sat at the Royal table this breakfast time. It was a fine meal, he observed. Fresh fruit, good toast, eggs, and merely decent-enough waffles, which told him that Spike had not been awake this morning to prepare breakfast himself. It would be beneath his royal pedigree to admit such a thing, but Blueblood did so enjoy breakfast with Twilight for that reason.
And, he shot a sour look across the table at the other guest of the Princess, Spike at least tries to mimic the decorum of the court, unlike certain mages…
Celeste had a cup of coffee sitting in front of her, along with a muffin of some variety. But she hardly noticed. Her eyes were shut tight, and a long line of drool hung precariously from her open mouth directly over her drink.
Blueblood merely shook his head and took a sip of his warm morning tea. How he missed bringing Pearl along with him for these morning meetings. As much as he disliked her taking away time from his and the Princess’s important discussions about the state of the realm, she was both a good conversationalist, and a far more pleasant sort of company entirely from this… this vagabond who called herself an Archmage.
It was a moment later, at the striking of the clock, that the doors to the chamber slammed open, and Princess Twilight made her cheery debut.
“Good morning, my little ponies!” she smiled and shouted as she entered, a truly massive stack of paperwork held in her purple aura.
Celeste jumped as the door slammed, her coffee spilling, and that drop of drool swinging up and striking her directly in the eye. It took all of Blueblood’s diplomatic training and skill to not guffaw and chortle at the table. He had to bite his lip to stop himself, as well. Tears welled up. It was all very dramatic.
Still, Celeste’s sputtering cries thereafter didn’t stop the Prince from also noting how, just before the chamber doors closed behind the Princess, a certain Royal Advisor and Councilor of Generosity could be seen darting down the hall, neither clearly wanting to be seen by anycreature if they could help it.
Good for them, he mused. Least I could do is wish those two lovebirds well…
“I’m up! I’m up!” Celeste righted her coffee and wiped furiously at her eye before trying to give her sovereign a bright and shining morning smile.
Judging by Twilight’s blink-and-you-miss-it grimace, she did not succeed.
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” Blueblood nodded solemnly to his superior, “And to what do we owe the pleasure of your good mood this morning?”
The answer he received was a sledge of paperwork slamming down hard onto the table, shaking and rattling the good porcelain.
“Legal technicalities!” she cried out, a joyful sparkle in her eyes. “We have two parole hearings to get through today before Dusk Court, and so many loopholes and treaties to overview before then!”
“Oh,” Celeste sipped at her coffee and shot her Princess a curious eye, “And that’s… good?”
“Good? It’s great!” the Princess scooped up a whole plate of eggs in her magic and quaffed it like Blueblood had only seen Yaks compare. “It means checking laws in three kingdoms, cross-referencing sentences, judgements, about two-thousand years of legal precedent…”
Twilight turned her exuberant eyes on Blueblood. “Vladimir! I need you to meet the representatives from Scorpan’s Kingdom. They should be here to discuss Tirek’s parole possibilities within the hour. And Celeste?”
The unicorn stiffened, and tried to make herself as presentable as possible.
“Take a shower, and then run interference with Pharynx,” the Princess nodded affirmatively, “I don’t want him shooting down our ideas for Chrysalis until I’ve had a chance to look over changeling law. This has got to go off without a hitch!”
And with that, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, went a-cantering off to her study to prepare for the day like a merry school filly.
Celeste Lulamoon sighed, wearily, and in resignation. There was really no helping it when the Princess was like this. She turned her head back around to breakfast… and caught Blueblood grinning at her across the table.
“What do you want?” she asked, irritably.
Blueblood chuckled. “Oh, nothing at all. It’s just… you have a bit of muffin in your mane.”
His giggling was cut short, as a whole muffin smashed directly onto the end of his muzzle. The Prince scowled up at the mage, sitting smugly across from him, a platter of such pastries held up in her aura.
“And?” she asked, a smile returned to her.
Blueblood sighed, and started planning which suit he needed to change into on his way to meet Scorpan’s people. It would be one of those days, he knew it.
“I’m just saying,” Discord, the Regent of Chaos, said as he sat astride a large luggage-case that was walking itself into Fluttershy’s old cottage, “She’s three months old, already took over my old job, and now she’s living on her own here! I’m so proud of our little Ann!”
Fluttershy followed her special somedraconequus into her old house, her own saddlebags filled with every conceivable thing Ann and Cozy would need. It had been decided that living in the realm of Chaos might not be the healthiest thing for the little megalomaniac at the moment, and so Fluttershy had offered her old place for Ann and her ward to live.
“Like a long-term sleepover!” Ann had cheerfully declared.
“I know she’s capable,” Fluttershy sighed, “I just… wish she didn’t have to move away. Even if ‘away’ is just over here.”
The beaming Draconequus snapped his fingers and caused the luggage to burst at the seams, spraying the living room with blankets, scarves, polka-dotted underwear, more than a few of Ann’s school assignments, and several photographs of the Ponequus and her friends. Fluttershy reached out with a wing and grabbed at a few of the pictures, only to pause as she looked at them.
There was Ann and her friends after the big Buckball game, laughing and eating cake in the center of an arena built just for them. Ann looked positively exhausted in the picture, but she was smiling so brightly…
Ann and Cheese, surrounded by Angel Bunny’s family. Angel was scowling, but all his dozens of kits were thrilled to pile atop the little ponies. They were especially thrilled by the large, carrot-shaped rocket in the background…
“In hindsight,” she hummed, “it was good we shut that down before it got started.”
And the third picture…
Fluttershy hardly noticed Discord’s work preparing the cottage. She barely was aware that he was tossing streamers about, laying down beartraps, or rearranging the furniture so that no two chairs quite lined up with each other. She didn’t even notice when he nailed Cozy’s bed upside down to the ceiling.
But he noticed. After completing his prep, Discord looked over to see his favoritest pony in the world staring at one of those photographs… and crying.
“Fluttershy?” he asked, voice cracking with worry, “Is… is everything alright? Did the photo hurt you?”
Fluttershy sniffed, and shook her head. The smile on her lips allayed all fears, and could have made the sun rise all on its own, the Regent of Chaos did not doubt.
He went to join her in the middle of the room, and looked himself at the picture she held so dearly.
“I look horrible,” he said, smiling as well.
The picture, taken by an animated teapot, if Discord remembered correctly, was a simple one. Fluttershy was front and center, a gentle, motherly smile on her face, with Discord, sweaty and rundown, standing behind her.
Their eyes weren’t looking anywhere near the camera. They were too captivated by the tiny bundle in Fluttershy’s embrace. The one with a little button nose, a pink and black mane, and the tiniest little fuzzy white eyebrows you’d ever see.
“Things were so simple then,” Fluttershy sighed.
Discord snorted, softly, “Right. I seem to recall you crying almost as much as Ann back then.”
“I did not!” her smile didn’t move from where it was, “Though… that first night I was a bit upset when she turned Angel into a squeaky toy.”
“Oh, no. That was me,” Discord grinned, “But it was still Ann who turned all of the books in the house into flamingos…”
“Oh, yes,” Fluttershy giggled, “That’s right…”
The two stood together, arm over withers, hoof in paw, gazing lovingly at the pictures of their little one for… well, as much as Time meant anything to one such as Discord, it was a while. And yet, they never tired of it.
It was those warm memories, stirring in Fluttershy’s mind and heart that did it. She would always worry for Ann, the daughter who grew up so fast. But…
“I want another one.”
Discord blinked. He wasn’t sure he quite heard her.
“I beg your pardon?”
Fluttershy leaned into his side, and gave the Draconequus a nuzzle. “Ann is my wonderful, wonderful foal. Now, and forever. I love her with all my heart. But, um…”
The pegasus sighed, and looked back to the pictures.
“I didn’t really get to have her… as a foal. Not for long. I sort of wish I could do it… again. Slower.”
Discord’s head came down to level with hers, and he gave Fluttershy a worried look, “My dear, you know not to tease me like this.”
“Would it really be so bad?” she asked.
“You have to ask?” Discord rolled his eyes, “Have you been awake for the last few weeks? Have you seen how much Chaos even one foal of ours brought to our lives!?”
Fluttershy’s smile twitched, which caught Discord’s eye at once. It hadn’t faltered. No, no, indeed not! Her smile, for just a moment…
She looked positively mischievous!
“Again, would that be so bad?”
It took Discord a few moments to pick his jaw, and his tongue, off the floor. A superior smirk was working its way onto his smarmy face, when… a twinge of fear took hold.
Fluttershy noticed right away. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, it’s just…” Discord swallowed, “You want this to be… slower?”
She nodded.
“Like, regular pony style? Diapers and everything?”
Again, she nodded.
“Pinkie Pie had a fit when we skipped that part, plus the…” he blushed, “the bit that’s supposed to come before that. You know? With the bloating, and the… fluids…”
As the Regent of Chaos began to choke on the… “miracle” of pregnancy… Fluttershy’s smile only grew.
She reached up, and gave her beloved a soft kiss on the cheek. She then reached back, and with a little tug, pulled loose two little feathers from her wings.
Fluttershy dropped them both in Discord’s open paw.
“Well,” the usually shy and nervous pony said with a hint of iron, and half-lidded eyes, “That’s Pinkie’s problem. Discord?”
“Y-yes, my love?” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the most beautiful creature in all the Multiverse.
“Let’s make some magic…”
“And would your spawn enjoy a carbonated beverage with his muffin today? Or would the lifeblood of an apple poured into a glass be sufficient?”
Sugarcube Corner was experiencing something of a swell in customers that morning, nearly double the usual. Pumpkin and Pound Cake were all too busy running deliveries around Ponyville to cover the other aspects of the business, and so had called in Cheese and Pinkie Pie to help them out a bit during the rush. Pinkie was remarkably perky, considering she had just thrown some royal shindig up at Canterlot, but that was just Pinkie Pie for you.
They hadn’t expected Pinkie to bring along another employee, however. A rather dour, even sinister, ram. The most they got out of Pinkie’s rapidfire explanation was that he was family, or close to it, and that he was working off a debt by helping Pinkie, and therefore, Sugarcube Corner.
It was all rather strange. But, then again, their favorite foalsitter usually had things well-in-hoof, so why worry?
Grogar stared, hatefully, into the eyes of the mare he’d just spoken to, even as the Cake twins moved in and out of the kitchen door behind him, completely oblivious.
The mare herself, a young mother of golden coat and a minty green mane, did not return the gaze. She was far more captivated by what was happening in the kitchen, just over his shoulder.
The door, one of those ones that swung in and out, opened.
Pinkie Pie was… shivering all over? No, her ear twitched, and then her left eyelid, then her tongue stuck out. That would be the famous Pinkie Sense, if the mare had heard anything about it.
The door swung the other way.
Pinkie Pie was… distraught. Tears welled up in her eyes, and her breathing was shallow.
“No…” she whispered, which seemed to catch her husband’s attention, “No, they… they can’t do this to me again…”
“Pinkie? What’s…?”
The door swung in.
Cookie trays went flying up into the air. Cheese Sandwich leapt to and fro trying to catch falling utensils and loose dough.
All the while, Pinkie was screaming, “THEY CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!”
The door swung out.
The back wall was on fire. Cheese was screaming. Pinkie was screaming. The fire sprinklers were shooting frosting instead of water.
Grogar hadn’t flinched. His cold, dead eyes starred into the ordering mare’s soul, and demanded an answer.
“Will that complete your order, ma’am?”
All things considered, school had gone well for Ann and her friends that day. Sure, they had to explain to Silver Spoon how they had nearly toppled the Equestrian government and let loose one of the worst villains in their history upon an unsuspecting world… but after that explanation, she just mouthed the word ‘Crusaders’ and went about her day as usual.
With the ringing of the final bell, all the colts and fillies were now free for the day. Dib, Goldie, and Moon had decided to go for an afternoon flight over the gorges, and took off as soon as they were able. Shady, Flawless, and Pearl were invited to a small reading club that had formed under Ponyville’s newest librarian, Luster Dawn, with Shady mostly going so he could try and get Trixie Lulamoon’s autograph. They had split off from the others about halfway through the town.
Beau had earned himself an apprenticeship, and made his way straight to Yona’s Boutique once they'd gotten just past City Hall. He seemed very excited to learn about Prench style stitching.
This left Ann, Little Cheese, and Cozy Glow to make their way back to Ann’s home. Ann was content to trot all the way there, while Cozy buzzed along, a scowl practically etched onto her face.
Cheese… bounced. In a very Pinkie-like manner.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” Ann stared at her friend’s knees, certain they would shatter any moment.
“Nah,” Cheese shook his head, “I just gotta pretend they’re rubber, and it works out.”
Cozy Glow, for the first time in what felt like hours, said, “Eugh. You really are Pinkie’s kid, aren’t you?”
“Indubitably!” Cheese laughed, and bounced even higher.
The pink pegasus rolled her eyes at this. As they continued to pass through the town, she tried not to take note of all the attention she was getting. It seemed like, ever since the school, everywhere Cozy looked there was a familiar face.
Here, that shopkeeper looked like one of the snotty little colts she had tricked, as a prank, into believing the unicorns were going to take his hooves away. And there, by a swing-set, was a young mother Cozy swore she once talked into thinking griffons were disease-carriers.
Some good, low-key villainy back in the day. Now? Just the weirdest form of déjà vu she could ask for.
“Huh,” Ann shook her head and glowered a little, “I can’t believe this town.”
“What now?” Cozy raised an eyebrow.
Ann pointed around with a hoof, and said, “I’ve been doing kooky stuff around town for weeks now. I fly around on a giant marshmallow, I turn clouds into bicycles… heck, I once led a parade of onions through the town square… and as soon as they get a look at you, they’ve all forgotten about me!”
“Ann?” Cheese looked over at his slightly fuming friend, “I thought you didn’t like attention?”
“I’d like some recognition for the good Chaos I spread,” she huffed, “But, apparently, the only thing ponies like these days is a former villain walking around.”
Cozy snorted, “Are you kidding? They hate me!”
Ann stopped, dead in her tracks. Her face scrunched up, and twisted, and finally settled into a look of utter bafflement. “What? Why?”
“Because I tried to destroy and conquer the world, like, twice?”
“But…” Ann scratched her head with a wingtip, “Miss Silver Spoon likes you.”
“Silver Spoon spat on the floor when I came in,” Cozy frowned.
“Oh, I thought she was coming down with something,” Ann glanced down at her hooves.
Cheese, lightly bobbing up and down now that he wasn’t moving, shrugged and gave Cozy a little smile. “Well, look on the bright side.”
Cozy glared at the colt, and waited for him to elaborate.
He, eventually, realized she was waiting on him. “Oh, um… the bright side is that you got years and years to make them like you!”
“Oh yeah!” Ann yipped happily, “Your parole is gonna be, like, forever! So, you’ve got all the time in the world to turn things around.”
Cozy’s scowl… deepened. She floated in place, not giving a single, outward sign she’d heard anything the two foals had said.
“But,” Cheese grinned, “I know one way you can start making amends around here…”
The angry pink filly glared at Cheese. Then, through gritted teeth, she asked, “How?”
He coughed to clear his throat, and held out a hoof to point directly at Cozy.
“Apologize.”
“… Excuse me?”
“The first step to moving on from a bad thing,” Ann sat at a lectern, her professor-voice in full swing, “is to admit wrongdoing, and ask for forgiveness.”
Cozy snapped, “Yeah! I know what apologizing is!”
“Well, then apologize,” Cheese said, helpfully.
“For what!?”
Cozy felt a chair pop into existence under her, and a table joined it before her. Her forehooves were connected to the table by a chain, and Ann leaned over it towards her, dressed in a trench coat and hat like she was a character out of a Shadow Spade novel.
“Fer pluggin’ Cheese!” Ann mugged, “Ya canned him. Put him on ice. Sent him up ta sing-sing in a pinewood express. Deep-sixed. You gave him the Big One. The Big Sleep. The…”
“I think she gets it, Ann,” Cheese chuckled.
Cozy just sighed, “I really don’t. But I guess this is about me… shattering you?”
The table and chair vanished, leaving Cozy to plop down on her flank.
“Basically,” Cheese smiled, and held out a hoof for Cozy. The pink pegasus slapped his hoof aside and got herself up instead.
She stood there, glaring at the two foals she would probably be stuck with forever… and sighed.
“I’m… Cheese, I’m sorry I killed you.”
Cheese narrowed his eyes at Cozy, and scratched his chin. He seemed lost in thought for a moment, before he gave a solid nod.
“That works for me.”
“Awesome!” Ann cheered and wrapped the two up in a batwing hug, “Friendship Goals!”
“I hate all of you!” Cozy gasped for air amid Ann and Cheese’s laughter.
The three ended the hug after another moment, and continued their way onto the cottage, where Ann and Cozy would begin the latter’s lessons in friendship…
Ann’s eyes widened. A flash of silver and pink light snapped all across her form, like a zap of electricity running up a line. It left her mane and tail sticking straight up for a few seconds, and her eyes twitching with impossibilities.
“Oh… no…” she gasped, and turned to Cheese.
The yellow and pink colt looked like he’d licked a power outlet, his whole body still shaking slightly from a Pie Sensory Overload. The silver stripe in his hair blazed with pink light for a split second, just like Ann had just done.
“Cheese,” she said, an urgent fear overtaking her, “You know what this means!”
“Uh,” Cozy glanced between the two. She’d seen something, but the way these two were acting…
“It’s a sequel hook!” Cheese placed a hoof at his temple, “I… I never thought things would get this bad!”
Ann placed one hoof on Cheese’s shoulder, and met his eyes with her own. She willed determination into him, and the Pie seemed to steady.
She nodded, and said sternly, “We’ve prepared for this. Quick! To the cottage!”
The two bolted down the road, kicking up dust as they flew on hooves powered by a sudden, mighty determination.
Cozy just sighed, and waited for the—
Pop!
--teleportation effect to—
Pop!
--get her there.
But, as she neared the cottage, 50 yards at a time, which Cozy kinda remembered as being Professor Fluttershy’s old home, she couldn’t help but notice the windows were… glowing.
Ann reached the door first, and with a flick of her magic, opened it wide, letting loose a wave of blinding, white light.
“Mom!” she cried out into the light, “Dad! What’s going on!?”
The light receded. It took Ann several seconds to adjust to the new light levels, alongside Cheese… Cozy slowly made her way to the cottage from where the Lock spell had last deposited her, so she hadn’t been blinded at all. But as their eyes adjusted, there was a sight to behold.
Discord sat with Fluttershy, on the floor, in the middle of the living room. And held in both of Fluttershy’s forelegs were two little bundles.
Fluttershy looked up as the door opened, and smiled warmly at Ann.
“Would you… like to meet your siblings?”
“S-siblings?” Ann’s eye twitched.
Cozy’s did the same, though in a more defeated form. “There’s more of you…”
Despite her shock, the Ponequus walked forward, and took in the two, whimpering forms of her… siblings.
“That one,” Discord pointed out the one on the left, “is Mayhem, or May. And that one is Frenzy!”
Fluttershy sighed, “I did get to name Ann on my own, I suppose…”
Ann stared down at May. She was a little thing, gray-coated like her dad, with a true nest of a black and pink mane. She had a single horn, shaped like a changeling’s, and her eyes were every bit like Ann’s own as she peeked out at the world for the first time.
May squirmed, and managed to get a pair of pink butterfly wings loose from her swaddling. She cooed appreciably as her wings felt the cool air.
The other one, Ann turned to next, was a brilliant, pink colt with a white, misty, even ethereal mane. His eyes were deep blue, like Fluttershy’s, and he had both tiny little pegasus wings, and a crystalline, blue unicorn horn.
Ann’s eyes were wide with wonder as she took them in.
Then…
“You didn’t make an Alicorn, did you?” she looked plaintively up at Discord.
“Perish the thought!” the old Draconequus huffed, “As if I’d be so unoriginal! Zee here is merely a humble Ponequus, like yourself. He just… happens to look like an Alicorn, that’s all!”
“And May looks a little like a changeling because…?”
Discord waved his claw irritably, “Easy reference material, plus the butterfly theme fits with your mother…”
Fluttershy giggled and nuzzled her new foals. “It does!”
“… and why the third degree?” Discord snorted, “I didn’t expect the Ponish Inquisition…”
Ann, nearly destroying herself with restraint not to play off that old joke, finished giving her father a suspicious look… and nodded to her little sister and brother.
“They’re pretty cute, I guess.”
Cheese, sweating slightly, glanced back out the door, and then back in before he asked, “Ah, can I maybe stay the night? I… don’t think my home’s gonna be safe for a while after this…”
“Oh, yeah!” Ann’s eyes lit up, “We can have a little ‘New Babies and New Cozy’ party!”
Cozy grumbled. “Let’s not…”
It was at that precise moment that a little egg popped into existence, just a few feet above everycreature’s head. The whole Chaos family looked up, and watched the egg’s swift progress as it dropped from the cottage rafters…
Directly onto May’s head, where it cracked open and splattered mayonnaise all over the filly's face.
Everycreature gasped, Fluttershy most of all… except for little Zee, who began to giggle uncontrollably.
“Oh,” Discord winced, “I don’t like where this is going…”
Mayhem snarled. And as the little one glared, her brother’s swaddling popped away, leaving what appeared to be an itchy, itchy Hearth’s Warming sweater. The pink colt whined, and started scratching himself with his hooves, all to his sister’s tittering.
Ann looked up to meet Fluttershy’s eyes. Far earlier than is usual, Ann realized that her parents could make mistakes, and didn’t know all the answers. This, she contemplated, as her two newest siblings began rolling on the ground in the most adorable little fight she could ever imagine.
Well, adorable because it included babies. Less adorable was the constant bursts of red and blue Chaos that shifted the floorboards into different varieties of cheese, turned the furniture into tiny, dancing Discords, and caused a rather put-out Angel to drift slowly by in a bubble of anti-gravity.
Ann knew she had to say it. It was the obvious joke ending. And after avoiding the inquisition reference earlier, she knew she didn’t have the strength to object this time.
“Here we go again…”