--- Breakdown ---
"What am I to you?"
Spike's question was clearly one that was born of Twilight's earlier comment. It only made sense, as it was a concern that Spike would naturally come to hold in his heart. Just as Twilight had debated whether or not she was a maternal figure in his life. There was no denying that Twilight loved the little guy with all of her heart, but going so far as to call herself his mother? Even after six years, she wasn't quite sure if she saw herself like that.
She did hatch his egg and had been the one to raise him, but their relationship was far more complicated than that. So much so that going so far as to call herself a "mother" never came to mind. At least not enough for Twilight to make a decision one way or the other. To her, it didn't really seem necessary. She did her best to keep Spike safe, happy, and healthy, and that was enough for both her and him. She didn't need a title to prove that.
Besides, a mother was supposed to love her child unconditionally. And Twilight would be lying if she said that all of her love for him was just that. And that fact hurt her to no end whenever she was unfortunate enough to make herself think about that aspect of their relationship.
"Spike, I love you." Her answer came without much hesitation, but it did come alongside the first smile Twilight had been able to show all day. "I love you as much as someone can love, and even more than that. I've told you this before."
"I know... but you said... I just... I don't know..."
Twilight's gaze narrowed as she studied the dragon's body language. He was nervous and unsure of himself, that much was certain. The conclusion to the conversation with Rainbow had gotten to him in a different way then it had with Twilight herself. She was reminded of the other morning when Spike was having an internal crisis over being a dragon. Though this was a much different kind of identity dilemma. He was confused and conflicted, and those simple few words from Twilight had been the trigger for it all. After a moment's reflection, she suddenly recalled that this topic hadn't come up with Spike before.
It seemed like it was finally time for some clarification.
This problem took unquestioned priority over all other issues on Twilight's plate at the moment. And seeing as how Spike couldn't even finish his own statement just now, she surmised that she would need to act with swiftness, grace, and tact. Hopefully, the idea that just popped into her head was one that could do just that.
She said nothing. Not at first, at the very least. Instead, she approached Spike while he was distracted with his thoughts. She sat down on her hind legs and waited to be taken notice of, a calm and kindly smile upon her face. It took time for Spike to finally notice his caretaker's gaze that had fallen upon him, his conflicted eyes growing wide. His immediate responce was to try and back away, but he managed to anchor himself in place.
The silent stare down did not last long before Twilight made the first move, moving slowly as to not startle him, she kindly pulled the dragon into a tender embrace. The alicorn said absolutely nothing as she did this, emphasizing the hug with her wings as she secured her gentle hold of her closest companion. Spike simply sat there, letting this happen as his frantic mind began to try and catch up with what was going on. His look of shock slowly faded, his eyes gently closing as he returned the hug, resting his head upon Twilight's shoulder. And following her example, Spike said nothing.
And now that Spike couldn't see her face, Twilight finally allowed herself to grimace. Just as she said earlier, she did love Spike. She loved him more than she ever thought she could love another living thing. The circumstances that had brought him into her life were ones that Twilight wouldn't change for the world, and she meant that sentiment in spite of those circumstances. But she knew that there was a small piece of that love that had been born for severely selfish reasons.
After all, Spike was a dragon. A very unique dragon, but still a dragon. And way back when, back when the little guy didn't even live with her, there was a bit of a study on him at the queen's request. Nothing invasive or harmful, just some routine examinations and a few blood tests. It was how they found out everything they knew about him and whatever other long dragons were out there. It was how they learned he was an omnivorous creature, it was how they found out his gender. And it was how they came to the hypothesis that his lifespan was about the same as his more well-known cousins. Thousands of years, hundreds of thousands even, at the absolute minimum.
It wasn't the only reason she had grown attached to him, it wasn't even a deciding factor. And even though she absolutely hated herself for it, it did help. It helped in ways Twilight needed the absolute most back when she first became an alicorn. It helped more than any school, or any private lesson, or any attempt at a motivational talk from her family could ever give her. Spike was far more to her than just a dragon, or a friend, or a loved one.
To Twilight Sparkle, Spike was her hope.
And it absolutely tore her apart knowing that she couldn't tell him any of this. Not yet, at the least. He was still young, with his whole life ahead of him. He didn't need to know the awful truth that, given enough time, he and Twilight would be alone. Truly alone. Far more isolated then they had been over these past two years. In a way, their travels about the world were a way of preparing them both for the inevitable. Other ponies and other people just don't last forever. That someday, they just would never see certain people ever again. They'd be gone. They'd be dust. A lingering dread that Twilight had been carrying deep inside of her for six long years. One that she hoped to spare Spike from for as long as she possibly could.
Because how in the world could she possibly explain that to a child?
"Spike...?" She spoke slowly and shakily, feeling the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. It hadn't taken much to drag up this wellspring of repressed emotions in her, and she was fighting as hard as she could to keep herself together. For his sake. And for her own, as well.
There was a short period where silence once more took over, but Spike was able to give an answer in time. "Yeah?"
"You're... everything to me..." She nearly choked on her own words, fighting for all she was worth to hold herself back from just breaking down into a sobbing mess right then and there. She held him tighter, shaking slightly as her building emotions began to rouse and writhe within her even greater than before. The day thus far had been a long and hard one for many reasons, as had the recent days that had preceded it. All for a variety of different reasons, but now, all that mental and emotional weight was now balanced atop the deepest and darkest of Twilight's secrets and anxieties, the unspeakable truths that she kept even from Spike. And that she tried to hide from herself.
"You are everything to me," she emphasized with great intent, lightly sobbing as she lovingly pulled her dragon closer to her. "You are absolutely everything... don't ever forget that... please..."