//------------------------------// // Chapter 145 - A Shining Example of Foolishness // Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// Discord? What did he want? You take an alternative path back outside towards the courtyard of the school, to answer the call in private. You see the fountain in the center, and duck next to it to answer the call as other students walk about. You place your hoof over your ear and answer. “Discord? Yo, what’s up?” “Oh, nothing much, just deathly worried that YOU’VE BECOME HARMONIC, GOOD, AND STRAIGHT-EDGED!” Discord yelled angrily at you, with a bit of a sob as if he was worried. Good god, this again? “Discord, are you fucking serious? You really think this school is going to change who I am? Fuck, christ, it’s only the first day. And if you remember, I had to spend an entire week with Twilight, and nothing happened with that. You could literally have that not have happened and nothing would have changed. Fuck, man, if anything, I did something that would have made you proud.” You tell him. Yep, he got worried again over something he shouldn’t have. Probably let it build up inside until he couldn’t hold it and called you. “Hm? Something I’d be proud of?” Discord asked, suddenly calming down as he became intensely intrigued. “Do tell. I want to make sure you’re being truthful about that.” You just roll your eyes. Typical Discord. However, you also begin to smirk, because as you start to tell him everything that happened with Applejack, you actually became excited to hear how he reacts.  As you explain things, Discord never says a word, seemingly listening to your story all the way to the end. “And then I had some pie. Y’know, the one Applejack couldn’t take from me because she fucked up so bad. Discord, trust me, the face she had when she found out it was the other students that fucked up was fucking gold.” Discord chuckles, and then has a bit of a laugh. “I actually feel nauseated simply for missing that! And using your charm to use Rarity as salt on her wounds, oooooooh, now that is something I can say I would do. Serves her right anyway, blaming us for her own ineptitude, believing you would cheat at something so simple to solve that using magic to find an answer would have been a waste of talent. Ahhh, sooooo delicious. Good work, Anon, you were right, I am proud. Just remember not to pull that kind of stunt on Fluttershy, not something I should have to remind you about, but you never know.” “Aw, c’mon Discord, I know Fluttershy is off limits. But yeah, I made sure to get some gooooood revenge on Applejack. So, you gonna calm down now? I think I deserve a reward actually, don’t you think?” C’mon, Discord, do it. You managed to pull off a great feat of chaos, you deserved something. “Perhaps you do, but considering you and your broken horned friend bothered me yesterday… You get nothing.” Discord said with a chuckle “Doesn’t mean I’m still not proud of you though.”  Typical… “Ah well, alright. So, is that all then? You calm about everything?” “Yessss, I suppose. Oh, by the way, you have another important piece of mail that came in today. It’s a summons, actually. You really have a thing for riling up the royals, don’t you, Anon?” Discord said, his tone becoming sly. WHAT?! “Holy shit, what does Celestia want this time? Seriously, fuck off with her shit, why can’t she leave me alone?!”  “Not Celestia. This time, anyway” Discord states. Wut? “Not her? Well, it can’t be Luna, she just fucking invades my dreams whenever she wants something from me.” “Excellent deduction, it isn’t her either.” Discord says “Cadance?” Wut? What does she want? Discord began to giggle. “Oh, Anon, why do you always assume it’s a princess? Then again, the princes of Equestria aren’t anything of note, are they?” Princes? “What? Shining Armor? Is it him? What does he want?” “Oh, not much. Seems he couldn’t contain himself and wants to have a heart to heart with you. Seems he can’t stand his sister being in mortal peril, the jaws of absolution gnawing at her hooves, the end coming at any moment, those sorts of things. Says right here that he doesn’t actually believe you are capable of what you say you can do. I believe he just wants you to give up Chrysalis's location so he can arrest her. My, oh my, seems he’s fed up with the whole thing. Funny how it is just him and not his wife; Cadance must have some faith, even if it is just in Twilight. Shining must want to talk to you in private, and in secret, not wanting anypony else to know. Personally, I don’t see what he’s getting his armor twisted for, Chrysalis has no chance in succeeding in her plan. But sometimes I forget that ponies can be even more illogical than I am.” Discord said, musing to himself a bit on Shining’s intentions. Wuuuut?! The fuck?! Where does Shining get off?! Despite his position, he couldn’t protect Equestria from a paper bag! “Fuck him, he knows where to find me. If he really wants to talk, he can bring his ass right here to Ponyville. Hell, we’ll have a little pow wow with Twilight. Because we both know Twilight, knowing what’s up, isn’t going to risk a life, even if it is Chrysalis’s.” “Do you want me to reply to the letter for you then? I could just put down exactly what you said and be done with it.” Discord said. “No, just send him a letter saying if he wants to talk, then come down to Ponyville, talk to Twilight, and then come get me. I’m not going all the way over to the Crystal Empire to get talked down to by a non character.” You didn’t give a shit if you had a free teleport to get there, it was a waste of time either way. “Understood. I’ll keep the letter plain, brief, and boring. Other than that, I really have nothing else to talk about. All I ask is to make sure, if you are going to learn anything there, that what you learn is a little more ‘kindness’, if you know what I mean.” Discord said. “I know, I know, like I said, I know Fluttershy is off limits, and I’ll make sure she feels proud of me. Dunno how she’s going to react when she finds out how Applejack treated me though, it’ll probably be funny.” You say, grinning a little over it. “Undoubtedly to be the hot topic of our next tea session.” Discord said with his own little chuckle. “Yeah, heh, well. If that’s all then, I really got to be going before I’m late. And don’t tell me you don’t mind that, Discord, because just think about how Fluttershy would react if I did decide to be late for no reason.” You tell him. “Ah, now, you have me right there. Bravo. Well then, I’ll talk to you later, Anon, but be sure to let me know of any more antics you find yourself in. You have a chaotic day.” Discord says as the transmission is cut off. You should have been in a better mood after that praise. But Shining Armor wanting you to go over to meet with him over Chrysalis? Fuck him, that guy can never and has never done anything useful unless it was some lucky bullshit. He has no right to meddle in your plans. If he gave so much of a damn, then he’d just take a few extra measures to make sure Twilight is safe and that’s it. Considering Twilight is already on board with your plan, Shining Armor should have nothing to say about it. Seriously, fuck that guy. Whatever, you make your way towards Rainbow Dash’s classroom. As you do, you could already see her outside her door, talking to a rather gruff Stallion in overalls and a hard hat. You didn’t get a chance to hear what they were talking about, but whatever it was, Rainbow was beaming, she was excited aboueaszTDGAFSZRGD. “Anon! There you are! No time to say hello!” Rainbow Dash yells as she zips towards you, grabs you with her fucking wings, and rushes inside the classroom as she nearly dunks you into an empty seat and quickly hovers to her desk, looking to the class with a smile as she shook like she was Pinkie Pie. Hell, she didn't even go back outside to talk to the stallion either. What is this all about?! Yikes, that smarts! Your ass was not as strong as your head as it burned from the slam down onto your seat.  You noticed Ocellus was in this class too, as was Smolder and Yona. But you didn’t get a chance to do much of anything else as Rainbow Dash began to address the class in an excited and frantic manner. “Yo, everycreature, and welcome to another loyalty class. And, uhhh…” You could see Rainbow Dash quickly opening her desk and slamming in a bunch of papers into a drawer. “We have been doing tests about exactly that given to me by Headmare Twilight. Buuuuuuuut, that’s lame, especially since there is something we can do that is sooooooooo much cooler.” Cripes, she didn’t even introduce you to the class like Rarity or Applejack did. What the fuck got her so excited? Ocellus, already confused, began to speak. “Erm, professor? Does ‘coolness’ have anything to do with loyalty?” “What?! No, er, yes! Look, I’m gonna give you all a choice. Super boring paperwork, or super awesome surprise. So, who’s all for the paperwork!” Rainbow Dash calls out. No one said a word, except for Ocellus, who still just seemed rather confused. You had just regained your senses and was trying to figure out what the fuck has Rainbow Dash so excited, but you couldn’t guess what. Even more so, you kind of want to slap her for slamming your ass down like that. “Ok, one, and all for the super awesome surprise?!” And of course, everyone spoke up for this one. You, however, only said nothing because you wanted to just ask her what’s up, still finding yourself feeling that pained sting. But you weren’t going to get that chance to ask as Rainbow Dash immediately flew out of the room. “Alright, everycreature meet me out front, and don’t take too long, ok? Ok!” You just sat there, blinking. Wut? Did Rainbow Dash just ditch having to do any actual teaching work? Ugh, fine, whatever she’s interested in to slam you down like that has to be good, you’ll let it slide. It was then, suddenly, you felt a tapping at your side. It was Smolder, wanting to chat it up with you as you all began to exit the school. “Yo, what was that about? Does Professor Dash typically slam you down on your seat? Like,  as some sort of training exercise?” Training exercise? Oh, oh geez, she must have heard that RD trained you for that whole physical test thing. “Er, no actually, just seems like something has got her excited, and I know it has nothing to do with me. Was she acting like this yesterday?” Smolder shook her head. “Nope, she was acting like she had to get used to teaching period. You alright? It almost looked like she sent you through your chair.” “Yeah. Tch, you’d think she’d treat me better after everything we went through.” You say, still feeling the pain of being slammed onto a seat. Rubbing your butt with your hoof to try to soothe the sting. “Something tells me whatever it is that has got her this excited must be really cool. Especially if she didn't even care to check if you were ok.” Smolder shrugged as she shoulders you. “C’mon, Anon, don’t be a baby. It couldn’t have been that bad. Oh, by the way, you had Professor Rarity’s class just before this one, right? Nothing about dresses or tea parties or anything like that, right?” “No, there wasn’t any-Wait, a baby?! Hey, just to let you know, and you should know this, I’m a great and pow-” Oh god, don’t finish that phrase, Anon. You can smell it, the sense that Trixie can sense anyone else who calls themselves ‘great and powerful’. “Whatever, you know I can take anything thrown at me, I just wasn’t expecting that.” Smolder chuckled and waved her claws at you “Aw, c’mon, I was just messing with you. Relax, alright?” Hm, so she wants to play like that, eh? “Alright alright. Anyway, to answer your question, Professor Rarity had us all in dresses and suits. She said I looked adorable and served tea like a true little gentlecolt.” You say with a grin. “G-guh! Y-you mean, i-it’s like a real te-tea party?” Smolder asked as her eyes widened, stopping in her tracks as she nearly trips taking a step back, her face suddenly flushed with fear. “Nope, but now I know that… Wait, that stuff scares you? I mean, don’t be a baby dragon, Smolder, I was just messing with you.” You tell her with a grin, while deep in thought on how something like that could seemingly scare her so badly. “Ok, ok” Smolder says as she extends her arms, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “I get it, you got me, I’m sorry. Look, er, it’s not that I’m scared, it’s just that I’m a dragon, ok? Dragons don’t dress up like that at all. It’s embarrassing.” Tell that to Spike. Then again, he was an outlier, and you already got your humorous comeback at her, so it was all good. Still, it seemed to be freaking her out more than it should. Interesting, to say the least. “Well, I guess I can understand that. And besides, if you didn’t want to do that stuff and you talked it out with Counselor Starlight or Professor Rarity herself, I’m sure there could be some arrangements for that not to happen, if it even ever happens. I mean, we did get served tea, but it was just to relax the class, mostly the ones who experienced the whole thing with Professor Applejack.” “Oh, well, that’s ok, I guess. And everycreature got tea to ‘relax’ them? Hmph.” Smolder crossed her arms as she grunted. “Guess nocreature told her almost everycreature but us either trampled some flowers or straight out tried to cheat.” You shrug. “Yeah well, she did experience how Professor Applejack accused me and I think that was enough. Professor Rarity is nice, I really didn't want to see her more disappointed than she already was” “What you two talking about?” Yona asked suddenly, out of nowhere, as she slowed down her stride to walk with the both of you. “It’s not something scary, is it?” Ocellus asked as she joined in, feeling fearful vibes coming off Smolder. She hovered close to Yona and landed at her side. “You both don’t think Professor Rainbow Dash’s surprise is a prank, right? B-because I heard she’s actually a good pranker.” “I doubt it. Pranking the whole class wouldn’t sit well with Headmare Twilight. Then again, I have a feeling whatever she wants us to see wasn’t really sanctioned by her either.” It couldn’t be, given how she said she was straight up evading whatever Twilight wanted her to teach. And that stallion she was talking to, he had a hard hat on. Did it have to do with the renovations on the Colosseum? To convert it to a stadium? Yeah, that had to be it, right? “In fact, I think she’s taking us to see the new school stadium.” “What? Why? Yona thought secret would be about loyalty. If Yona wanted to see stadium, Yona would see it on own time, to either play pony games or cheer team on.” Yona said to herself as she began to think on it. “Maybe this like secret test instead, like one Ocellus talked about with Professor Applejack.” “I’d like to think it’s that. But I have a feeling Anon may be right. Should we tell Headmare Twilight? I don’t think the professors here are supposed to be deviating from teaching friendship lessons.” Ocellus said, wondering if what Rainbow Dash was doing was right. But you? Well, if Rainbow Dash was THAT excited over it, then whatever it was had to be cool. Well, maybe cool in a ‘TV Y’ sense, but you always wanted to see a ridiculously and cartoonishly modeled place before… That wasn’t Discord’s house. “Nah, c’mon, let’s check it out. If it is the new stadium, then it is still technically part of the school.  And besides, what’s wrong with a little fresh air, huh?” Oh man, you hope it has huge torches of twisting fire, or team lounges with literal soda fountains, maybe your face painted into the center of the stadium, since it was originally about you after all. The possibilities were endless, and you wanted to see what the place had become. “I’m with Anon on this one. Doing some boring classwork is so lame compared to seeing what our new stadium looks like.  Loyalty isn’t even that hard… Well, it is for dragons a lot of the times, but… Well, you get the point.” Smolder said. “Well, Yona does like the sound of looking at new stadium better than boring classwork.” Yona said. “Then it’s settled… Almost… Ocellus, c’mon, it’s not like stadiums get built every day. The professor obviously has a lot invested in this and she probably just wants to see it and show it off at the same time. If you were super excited about something, wouldn’t you want us to see it?” You ask her, more hoping than knowing she couldn’t fight that logic. “Well, that is true. If there was anything I wanted to show, I’d hope you all would want to see it. Mmmmm, ok, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to see the new stadium.” Ocellus said, finally convinced that it wasn’t worth it to alert Twilight of what Rainbow Dash was doing. And with that, you and the rest of the class exited the school to see what Rainbow Dash was so excited about. However, it seemed you all had to walk further as Rainbow Dash hurried you all along to the train station, seems it really was about the stadium. It's a long enough trek for Yona to step up to your side, seems she was curious about something. “Anon, Yona have question about your head.” Wut? “Uh, what about it?” “Yona been thinking about it, and Yona wonders how it REALLY got so tough. Yona know that not even earth ponies have heads as strong as yak. But Anon, despite being puny, has head as strong as Yona. So what Yona is really asking is what training did you do to get so tough? Yona figures that if she tries it, Yona be able to smash anything no matter how tough it is because Yona already strong yak.” Yona said. Wait, hold on, training your head? “I thought you thought that I ‘trained like yak’” You mention. Wondering why she was suddenly so curious. “Yona realize you couldn’t have trained like yak because you never meet yak before Yona. So then Yona realized it must be something different and also amazing if tiny pony can become almost as good as yak. Yona must know secret!” She says with a stomp, knocking nearly everyone down, except for you, you actually bounced up and fell on your head. “See? Like that, Yona wanna know how you don’t even feel any pain.” You may have not felt the impact, but that didn’t stop your body from slumping down and making you nearly eat literal dirt. You slowly stand up, spitting out any dirt near your mouth, and look to Yona with an annoyed and tired look. “Look, Yona, seriously? All you need to do to make your head stronger is to train like I do, by bashing your head into things. Also… Calm down with the stomping, geez.” “Wait…” Ocellus said. “I thought your head got stronger through constant clumsiness and unwanted head trauma.” Holy crap, Ocellus, was she totally ignorant on how embarrassing that sounded?! “W-what?! That’s not true! Do you have any idea how much work I put into my actual training to be able to headbash anything? I could smash through the stars themselves if I wanted to, even without my magic! It’s called hard work!” Really, where the fuck did she even get that idea?! I-it wasn’t true… “Yeah, are you sure about that, Ocellus? I’ve seen Anon use that thing before, literally nothing can beat it. Nothing so far, anyway.” Smolder said, confused by Ocellus’s assessment.  “I’m pretty sure.” Ocellus said, somehow ignorant of your plight despite her damned ability to read emotions. “Anon has fallen many times, even from really high up. He’s been hit, kicked, smashed. I even heard from our old q-, er, somecreature that Anon even accidentally ran into a cannonball launched at his head and survived it, possibly with no brain damage. I sometimes think Anon’s luck is really high or low at times, almost cosmically so. Though, involving his head, sometimes I wish he’d get that checked, you never know when it might be-EEP!” Goddammit, fuck that shit, you cut her off right there as you stomp towards the center of the group. “Fine, ok, I’m a little clumsy! But she is way over exaggerating it! You and Yona have seen me use my head before. Do you really think it’s because I trip or get hit or whatever she was saying? Because that’s just wrong. Also, I don’t need any kind of luck, I’m simply thatFASASSDAS” Suddenly, from above you, a gigantic and extremely dense metal cube comes flying out of nowhere and careens into your head, sending you spinning forward as you slide on the dirt with your face, the cube still flying forwards as a familiar Time Turner gives chase. “Sorry everypony!” He yelled as he ran by “A bit of trouble with the magnets! Everypony duck low now, my magnet experiment has sent this metallic object flying unpredictably!” He yelled out further as the cube suddenly makes a right, away from the class, as Time Turner disappears into the town, rushing towards the cube. “Woah, Anon! Are you alright?! D-do we need to get him to a hospital?! That thing was moving faster than lightning, I didn’t even see it coming! Anon, are you ok?!” Smolder yelled out as she, Ocellus, and Yona went to check up on you. You just laid there in the dirt, unmoving. Were you seriously dinged by the most random thing imaginable?! What were the chances?! Why is he even working on whatever magnet bullshit he was talking about?! Oh god, this was so embarrassing. “...That doesn’t count.” “What? What is he talking about?” Smolder turns to Ocellus, confused. “What does he mean by that?” “Er, well, I think it means that this highly unfortunate and unforeseeable event doesn’t count towards his luck.” Ocellus replied, still seemingly ignorant about how you felt. “Yona don’t know about that, but Yona suddenly fine with not training like Anon, Yona feels that yak luck is definitely best luck. Also, Yona likes her head enough not to break it like peanut.” Yona said, with a gulp, worried about the whole situation. You still continued to lay there, defeated, humiliated. Hell, RD didn’t even notice as her and most of the class continued walking. Goddammit….