//------------------------------//
// Well Intentioned Harm 
// Story: Mind Over Matter 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

"Leo," a stallion said to me, "it's time to wake up."
I opened my eyes at the new voice and turned over towards it. Before me were two doctors, a stallion and a mare. The stallion had a bright yellow coat and brown mane, and the mare looked like the mirror image of Sugar Belle, but with a more red coat and blue mane. I'd say they were both around the age my human body was, maybe a tad older, and seemed like they weren't doctors for very long. Both of them looked at me with faces that tried to appear upbeat, but we're clearly uncomfortable, if not concerned.
"Who are you?" I whispered, the anger I had in my dream fading away, being replaced by sadness and frustration at my circumstances.
"I'm Nurse Blaze," the stallion introduced, "and this is Nurse Petal. We'll be watching over you tonight."
"Why?" I asked. "Where's Doctor Spark."
 "Well, she had to go and get some things taken care of, but she’ll be back tomorrow morning. For now, how about we get you some dinner?”
“I’m not hungry,” I told them honestly.
“Oh,” Nurse Petal started, “I understand, but we wouldn’t want you to be hungry later,” she said. “What do you want to eat?”
I stayed silent and scratched my face. I didn't want anything to eat. I was feeling too bad about myself and my situation. Whenever it seemed like my circumstances couldn’t get worse, the bottom just fell out even further. It just didn’t end. I didn’t want to deal with all of this. Every minute that passed, I could feel its problems becoming my problems, its pain becoming my pain. Four days ago, it felt like it and I were entirely separate, but now it was feeling like I was never anybody else.
No, that wasn’t quite true. It felt like I had to deal with two sets of problems. This itching was a constant reminder of my other problem. I felt it wax and wane over the last two days, but it didn’t stop. I tried to tell myself it was just anxiousness, but I knew that wasn’t true. It was just easier to ignore when I wasn’t anxious. The feeling served as a constant reminder that my past was real, and made me jealous of the other Leo. He didn’t have to deal with this itching. He probably wasn’t just dropped in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t have to suffer through my problems. In fact, the way that genie said it, he got to just completely forget about his, too. He was on the road to a better life, and I was an abused, drug-addicted five-year-old. My chances of changing into something better than what I was before weren’t great.
I knew it was an awful thing to think, to be jealous of him. It might have only felt like I was abused, but he actually had to suffer through it. And the problems I had in my old body I largely brought on myself. But still, I couldn’t help it. I felt like I had completely lost out twice, and this time it wasn’t even my fault.
“Oh, I’m sorry Leo,” Nurse Petal said, reacting to my silence and seeing my sadness, and reached out to brush my mane with her hoof. “I know we’re not her, but we’ll be just as nice as Doctor Spark is.” Then, as if realizing she was doing something wrong, she quickly pulled her hoof back. "I'm sorry. Is it- is touching your mane making you uncomfortable?"
"It's fine," I said softly. I didn't even react to her touching me, and wasn't sure why she was concerned. I was sure that the notes I saw Doctor Spark writing said I didn't care. "Though I'd rather only Doctor Spark and Herbal Essence touch me," I thought.
"How about we do something fun?" Nurse Blaze broke in. "What's your favorite game to play?"
"I don't know," I told him, scratching my cheek. "I don't really play any games."
"What if we read a book?" he offered. "Or sang a song?".
I sighed. I didn't like to read, and the song I was thinking of at that moment would have gotten me in trouble, regardless of my history. I wanted to just sit there and feel sorry for myself. Or better yet, go back to sleep.
"Do you… do you want to talk about how you're feeling?"
"Not with you," I thought. "I've known you for all of ten seconds."
They stayed quiet, seeing if I would start talking, and I realized they weren't going to leave me alone. "Can you help me with my magic?" I asked, seeing that they weren't going to just let me sit and do nothing.
"Of course we can!" Nurse Blaze said, sounding excited by the prospect of doing something with me. "Doctor Spark did say we should work on that with you."
"Let me go get the box," his partner said.
For the third time in the past two days, the box of colorful chips was dumped in front of me. "Why do we use these chips?" I found myself asking as I started to grab at one of them.
"Well," Nurse Petal told me, "from what I hear, they each have their own magic field so that they're much easier to pick up."
With that, the chip I was trying to pick up quickly fell out of my grasp, maybe an inch above the bed. "So basically I'm the worst ever."
"You're not the worst ever," she started, reaching a hoof for my shoulder, then stopping herself before she touched me. "It's just, with you…"
"You just haven't had any good practice," Nurse Blaze finished for her.
I decided not to fight back and simply accepted their answers, putting my concentration back on the chips. A while passed, and I concentrated on getting the chips higher than a few inches in the air. However, I wasn't making nearly as much progress now as I had the past two days, and it gave me a horrific thought. 
“What if I’m disabled?” I suddenly asked worriedly, scratching my face.
Nurse Blaze laughed at that in a genuine way. “You’re not disabled, Leo. If you were, you wouldn’t be able to pick them up at all.”
That was a relief. I was already an abused, drug-addicted five-year-old. Being disabled would have just been too much for me to suffer through. At least, not without going crazy, or worse.
“It’s just harder for you right now because most ponies, and especially unicorns, start using their magic before their first birthday. You just don’t know quite how to do it yet.”
“Oh. Okay,” I said with annoyance. “You could have just stopped where you were before instead of telling me that I’m worse than a one-year-old ,” I thought.
“How about we stop for now and check on your bites?” he asked, quickly trying to change the subject after realizing how I took what he told me. “I’m going to have to touch your leg. Is that okay?”
“I guess,” I told him, annoyance still in my voice.
I watched as he started to unwrap the wounds that Doctor Night originally worked on as Nurse Petal stood next to the bed. It felt like a lot longer than yesterday he put that burning alcohol on and roughly scrubbed at my skin, and half a lifetime since I actually gave myself the wounds. 
Nurse Blaze had a poorly hidden grimace on his face, clearly not liking what he saw. “Oh, wow,” he said quietly.
“Is it bad?” I asked, getting worried again.
“No, it’s just… they’re deep.” He looked up, and I must have had a reaction to what he said. “But they’re not infected or anything,” he quickly added, “and should be completely healed up in a few months' time.”
“I’m sorry,” I tried to say, my embarrassment turning into shame, hating what I’d done to myself.
“You don’t need to be sorry, Leo,” Nurse Petal told me sympathetically, putting a hoof on my shoulder, then quickly taking it back off. “Is it okay if I touched your shoulder?”
I was getting frustrated with how little these two knew how to handle me. I knew they barely knew me besides whatever Doctor Spark wrote down, and were trying their best. They probably heard about how I reacted to my mother, too, but I wasn’t uncomfortable with anypony else touching me, and didn’t think I ever gave off that indication. The pair’s overcautiousness was making me upset.
“I wish Doctor Spark was here,” I said, scratching my cheek.
"I'm sorry," she told me.
That, too. All of the apologizing everyone did to me was getting on my nerves. I scratched myself again.
“And I know it’s hard,” she continued, “but we really need you not to scratch. You’re going to get sores doing that.”
My impulse was to argue. I wanted to tell them to put their hooves on me and stop me, but I decided not to. I knew they were just trying to help, but didn't seem to know how to deal with me. I told myself that I wanted to get better, and the only way to do that was to listen to what they had to say. Besides, their orders for me to stop scratching likely came directly from Doctor Spark.
“Okay,” I said annoyed, all of a sudden feeling extremely itchy, tears starting to form.
They seemed a bit surprised by my willingness to accept what they asked of me, and looked at me sadly. “I’m sorry, Leo,” Nurse Petal told me. “Did you want-”
“No,” I whispered, knowing exactly what she was about to ask.
She paused, then asked, “What about some ice cream? I bet that’ll make you feel better.”
Ice cream wasn't going to make me feel better. I wanted to see Doctor Spark or Herbal Essence. More than that, I wanted this itching to go away and the things that happened to this pony body to not affect me. But I knew that none of those things were going to happen, and with the way these two were looking at me, I knew they weren't going to let up until they found something they thought would make me feel better.
"I guess," I told them, humoring them.



Patient: Leo (M)
Characteristics: Green eyes, medium blue coat, blue/black mane, five years old
Report: Began visit with a sleeping Leo, who, when woken, was once again wary of my presence. During a brief breakfast, he claimed he
"Doctor Spark?" Blaze asked worriedly, interrupting her writing. "I think we have a problem."
She looked up from her clipboard, staying silent, waiting for him to explain himself.
"Uh, Leo's freaking out, and, um, we think he's about to hurt himself."
"Why?" she asked confused, standing up quickly. "Actually, tell me later," she told him, and hurried off to his room.
What she found when she got there was a young colt sitting on the bed, tears in his eyes, screaming angrily at Rose Petal, who was backed up against the wall, looking as though she was trying to explain herself. It wasn't ideal, but a slight relief. The previous two times Ivory Spark saw him bite himself, he was silent before he did it. Yelling might not have been the best outlet to let out his frustrations, but it was certainly much better than the former.
“Leo?” Ivory Spark called out. He turned to her at her voice, and immediately looked a bit less angry.
“She’s trying to hurt me!” he choked out.
“What?” she asked the colt, confused, as she made her way to his bed. "Why would Nurse Petal be trying to hurt you?"
“She put medicine in the ice cream, and I know cause she mixed it up and ice cream doesn’t come like that, and she thinks I’m too stupid to figure out what she’s trying to do!”. He got the whole sentence out in one gasp, and was crying by the end of it, trying to catch his breath.
The mare put her hoof in the colt's mane, trying to get him to calm down. "Nurse Blaze, Nurse Petal," she asked, "could you give Leo and I a few minutes alone?" 
She didn’t turn towards them, but the way she spoke made it clear that she was upset with them. The two heard her tone and quickly made their way out of the room, silently taking seats in front of the door.
True to her word, it was just a few minutes that Blaze and Rose Petal sat there before Ivory Spark came out. She didn’t look angry, but she did look suspicious as to what they did. However, before she could ask, Rose Petal started to talk.
“I’m sorry!” she said quickly, becoming tearful. “I- I didn’t think he’d notice! He was just so-”
“Stop. Did Doctor Night tell you to do this?”
“N-no” Rose Petal sniffed.
“Then why didn’t you ask before trying to sneak medicine to him?”
“He just looked so sad and upset and frustrated! And when I read your report, I was afraid to touch him! So I thought-”
“If you read my report,” Doctor Spark interrupted, trying to keep her composure, “then you should have seen where I said he was likely previously drugged.”
“I know, but you told us earlier that he said he took it himself!”
“He’s a foal. He’s going to lie. He might be afraid that if he tells the truth, he’s going to get hurt again. We’re trying to get him to stop resisting us and trust us, and what you did likely just set him several steps back. For all we know, his mother could have done the exact same thing to drug him.” 
"I'm sorry," Rose Petal said, trying to stop crying.
The mare stepped back and asking, “Did you know about this, Blaze?”
He looked down uncomfortably, quietly responding, “I thought it was a good idea.”
Ivory Spark was frustrated. She felt like she’d made a lot of progress with Leo earlier, and this, combined with that mother of his showing up, probably just pushed all of his progress back, making her job that much harder. Add in the fact that Thundertail’s actions earlier were making her question whether Leo should actually go with him and Herbal Essence, and she was understandably upset.
Although, Rose Petal was clearly more upset than herself, and Blaze looked quite undue about what just happened. Doctor Spark sighed. She couldn’t really be mad at them. They had good intentions, and with most other colts or fillies, it would have been a good tactic to use to get them to take medicine. She wouldn’t have been surprised if they were trained to do that. However, Leo was quite clearly one of the few exceptions to that tactic.
 “Look, both of you,” she started seriously, “I understand how you feel about him, and I feel the same way. I hate to see him hurting just as much as you do. But just listen to what I say, okay? Just follow my instructions, and if I didn't explicity say to do something, ask me or Doctor Night.” She sighed again, adding, “Now let me see if he’ll let you be in the same room as him so I can start my notes.”
"I'm sorry," Rose Petal tried to tell her.