//------------------------------// // 21 - What to do When Things Fall Apart // Story: The Amulet Job // by Rambling Writer //------------------------------// The thing with being a spy was the possibility of being captured. Bon Bon hadn’t run into it that much; she was usually more concerned with monsters and other arcane critters, and the non-monster missions she’d been on had run as smooth as butter. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been worried about her freedom. But now, staring up at Goumada, the very mare they were robbing, the very mare whose security system she’d just broken into, the mare who’d just said she’d been looking for her, Bon Bon wished that had actually happened once or twice. She couldn’t remember what she was supposed to do in times like this. Play it cool and try to deflect Goumada’s attention? Deny everything? Run away? Make up some excuse and try to sidle off? Break into an impromptu song and dance routine and hope the rest of the casino got caught up in it? She settled on cluelessness. Or, to be more precise, her malfunctioning brain threw out no clues, which she took to heart. “You have?” she asked. Her voice was far more steady than it had any right to be. Goumada nodded. “I heard of your problems and came over to help.” She leaned in close. Bon Bon didn’t shy away, but it was a struggle to keep her ears in their casual positions and her tail refused to keep still. And what was Goumada talking about, anyway? “Being able to look like the head bad guy has its perks.” For the second time in half as many minutes, Bon Bon’s heart stopped. No. No way. That wasn’t possible. And yet- “Thorax?” she dared to whisper. Goumada’s grin was far too dorky to be from Goumada. “I heard about what was going on through the anklet while cashing my poker chips,” he whispered. “And if those guards see you’re with her, they won’t bother you!” “No, just- You need to get out of here! You’re worth more than me!” “But I can’t leave you behind!” Thorax protested. It was downright surreal to hear Goumada talking like that. “What about friendship?” “What about- Look, just-” Bon Bon hurriedly scanned the crowd. She didn’t see any guards nearby. And she didn’t see Goumada, either. “We need to get out of here before you’re found out! Head for the exit, now.” “You’re welcome,” mumbled Thorax, his ears drooping. Ponies got out of their way as they walked for the exit, but Bon Bon knew knew knew knew KNEW that that was a sign everything was just going to go downhill hard sooner or later. Probably sooner. That was how things worked. Thorax kept trying to ask questions (“Did it go good? Sunburst sounded happy.”) and she kept rebuffing him to stay alert (“Keep your head down.”). She wanted to run, but that would draw too much attention. “Hey!” someone yelled. “You! Next to Goumada! Stop walking or I’ll jinx you!” Bon Bon bit her tongue and turned around. A snarling unicorn guard was running towards her. She slid to a stop before them. “Ma’am,” she said to Goumada, “I-” “-have no further business here,” said Thorax, holding his head high. “Begone.” He waved a hoof dismissively. One of the guard’s ears drooped and she made an “eh?” sound. She cleared her throat and said, “Ma’am, I saw this pony-” “That is irrelevant, whatever it is,” snapped Thorax. His voice was surprisingly hard. Not quite up to the real Goumada’s level, but pretty darn close. “I know her. She is trustworthy. Whatever you said about her, call it off.” “Ma’am-” “Now.” “Yes’m,” the guard said quickly. She glanced at Bon Bon, frowning, then walked away, muttering, “I don’t give the orders, I follow them, doesn’t she remember…” Bon Bon gaped at Thorax. He grinned and winked at her (and almost made her run for the hills, because a crime boss was grinning and winking at her). “Your lessons were good,” he whispered. “Come on.” He started walking for the exit. After a second of blinking, Bon Bon followed. “I didn’t tell you how to sound murderous,” she said. “Which, I mean, good job, but…” “I just did my best to channel Chrysalis. She was nasty.” Thorax turned to look Bon Bon in the eye. “And that wasn’t even half of her. I’m not-” Thorax collided with another pony. As they staggered away from each other, they both fell into the crowd, which barely paid them any attention. Bon Bon was quickly at Thorax’s side, pulling him back to his feet. “I’m alright,” he whispered. Guards swarmed around the other pony, helping her up. “Watch your path!” she snapped. “You need to watch yours!” Thorax snapped back. Less strongly, but good enough. “Don’t you know who I am?” “And you do not know who I am? I own this establishment!” And Goumada pushed her way out of the crowd to stand in front of Thorax. If swears were a fuel source, Bon Bon’s thoughts alone could’ve powered Equestria for the next century. Thorax stared at Goumada. Goumada stared at Thorax. Long-dormant reflexes kicked on. Bon Bon bolted, shoving her way into the crowd as Goumada bellowed, “Guards! Seize that changeling!” The crowd’s attention spread out like a ripple as those words echoed above the din. Everything that wasn’t Bon Bon slowed down. Ponies seemed to congeal into each other as they turned to look at Goumada and Thorax, and Bon Bon had to fight to push ponies aside. She heard the flamelike whoosh of Thorax’s shapeshifting, but didn’t turn around. She couldn’t stop. She could only pray that- “There it goes! Earth pony stallion, blue coat, blue mane! Stop it!” Okay. Thorax seemed to be doing okay. Honestly, Thorax might’ve had it better than her. At least he could poof into another shape to confuse the guards for a few seconds. She was stuck as herself. The same herself that Goumada and all the other guards had seen, keeping her from entering the casino in the normal way ever again. Goose’s son of a stot-blasting hayseed crapbucket. (Whatever the hay that meant.) She burst out into a lucky open area. On the other side, a guard pulled himself from the crowd. He noticed her and pointed. “You!” he bellowed. “Halt!” She would’ve preferred the Elements of Harmony, but the only element Bon Bon had was that of surprise. She charged, her head low, and before the guard could brace, Bon Bon had closed the gap. She jinked in one direction, stuck a leg out in the other, and reared to catch the guard in the neck. Momentum carried the guard up onto her own rear legs, then still onwards onto her back. Bon Bon gave gravity a little help and smashed the guard into the floor as she kept moving. She hadn’t broken her stride and it hadn’t taken two seconds. Somepony in the crowd started screaming. Of course. Bon Bon figured she looked like some kind of violent robber, clotheslining a guard with no problem. Then more people screamed, then more, and pandemonium took hold. Ponies began running every which way, only some heading for the exit. The throng buffeted Bon Bon about like she was caught in a riptide and her hearing bled into tinnitus. Another guard materialized from the crowd and noticed her. Bon Bon bodyslammed him back into the crowd, fell on him as hard as she could, rolled, and kept running. She was almost at the door. By now, panicked ponies were streaming out of the casino, most probably not even aware what they were running from. But once everypony started running from something, it was a good idea to follow. Once she was through the doors and outside, Bon Bon slowed her pace just enough to move at the same pace as them. She ripped off her suit coat, buttons popping, and tossed it away. Then her undershirt. Hopefully, the guards would start by looking for somepony wearing their uniforms. It might just be enough for her to get away. The second she had the space to, Bon Bon galloped away. She crossed the street, ducked into an alley, took the most winding route she could think of. She kept her ears moving; she could still hear the yells from the crowd. But no close hoofbeats. She looked up. No pegasi seemed to be following her, either. She collapsed against a wall, holding her face in her hooves, and slowly slid down. She screamed; she was too angry to cry. One single mistake, and the element of surprise was dead, gone, found again, cremated, and scattered to the wind. Goumada knew a changeling was around. It wouldn’t be long before she looked over the cameras and recognized Bon Bon and knew that somepony was trying to break in. Goodbye, anonymity. Hello, tightened security. Goodbye, easy casino entry. Hello, constantly surveilled entr- Somepony tapped her on the shoulder. “Bon Bon?” Bon Bon reflexively grabbed the hoof, hauled the guard over her shoulder, threw him to the ground, and was about to put him in a triangle choke when he put up his hooves and squealed, “It’s me! It’s Thorax! Don’t hurt me!” “Thorax?” The guard vanished in a cloud of blue fire. “I’m okay,” Thorax whispered, keeping his hooves up. “I wasn’t followed. I looked. Constantly. I could find you because I followed your emotions.” His voice got even quieter. “Those weren’t hard to miss.” Bon Bon stuck her head up and looked around. They were the only people in this alley. Bon Bon let herself rest a fraction less tensely and helped Thorax to his feet. “You’re not hurt?” “Not physically, but-” Thorax collapsed onto his rump and hung his head in his hooves. “Sweet Chrysalis, I can’t do anything right,” he moaned. “I play poker, I get accused of cheating. I try to get you out safely, and I-” He cringed and buzzed his wings. “I should just go,” he said quietly. “Back to the Crystal Empire. Why did I think I could do this? I’m just a-” Bon Bon slapped him across the face, just hard enough to knock him out of his self-pity loop. She’d seen it plenty of times before. Rubbing his cheek, Thorax stared at Bon Bon, blinking slowly. “Ow,” he protested in a clear I’m-not-that-hurt-but-I-don’t-know-what-else-to-say voice. “I’ll be frank,” said Bon Bon. “You screwed up. Like, a lot. But you still came up with the plan to get those tracking bits into the vault, right?” “Yeah,” mumbled Thorax, “but-” “You were still the first one to find the vault, right?” “Yeah, but-” “You still got the bits from poker, right?” “Yeah, but-” “You still got through the vents and into the elevator, right?” “Yeah, but-” “Those things, you did great!” Bon Bon sat down next to Thorax. “I know this seems bad, but we’re not dead yet. We just- got a concussion. A bad one. But we’re not out of this yet.” She nudged Thorax lightly. “Did you really think it’d stay as easy as it’s been?” “Yes.” Ah, innocence. Bon Bon didn’t have the heart to tell him that they’d been lucky to get this far without anything getting screwed up. Which was probably why their luck had run out so quickly today. A voice came in over the anklet; she made a “Wait a moment” gesture to Thorax. “Bon Bon?” asked Sunburst, a few bad reports away from completely aghast. “Yes, Sunburst?” asked Bon Bon, a few bad reports away from completely despondent. “Why are the casino’s communications are blazing with reports about a changeling?” Bon Bon swallowed. Best to get it over with. “After Thorax heard that- Wait, you’re listening in on their communications?” “Well, yeah. See, after you implanted the gems, all of the different, um, flavors of magic got pushed through to the receiver here, so if I tune it in the right way, I can isolate-” “SUNBURST!” Starlight screamed. “Ask her what the heck is going on in there!” “Um. Anyway. What’s going on in there?” “Thorax heard that I was being followed,” Bon Bon said, “and he turned into Goumada to make it look like I was with her. And then… we ran into the real Goumada.” “Oooooh…” You didn’t need to imagine hard to hear the unsaid curse that followed. “We both escaped, but now Goumada knows there’s a changeling around her casino, and I think she spotted me as a thief.” “…” “Thorax and I are coming back to the villa. We’ll explain then.” Without waiting for a response, Bon Bon unbuckled her anklet. She needed to think her own thoughts. Thorax was lightly kicking at the ground. He looked up when Bon Bon stopped talking. He didn’t say anything, but he seemed smaller than usual and his ear fins were quivering. Bon Bon wanted to reassure him, but the only words that wanted to come out of her mouth were, “Come on. Let’s get back to the others.” Starlight had thought she’d felt bad before. That was a weekend resort compared to this. A weekend resort compared to this. A resort with a water park, with inner tubes and water slides and lazy rivers. And every single drink had those stupid little umbrellas in it. Celestia, she needed a break. Everyone was in the living room. Bon Bon was pacing back and forth, explaining what had happened. Thorax was sitting in the corner and looking like he was valiantly fighting the urge to turn into a chair. “…then I got out, and Thorax followed my emotions to track me down,” said Bon Bon. “And…” She shrugged. “Here we are.” “Sorry,” mumbled Thorax. His ears drooped. “No one’s blaming you, Thorax,” said Starlight. Gilda raised her claws. “I am.” “Shut up,” snapped Rainbow. The entire room went silent. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. From the way Thorax was squirming, Starlight guessed the emotions he was feeling weren’t just unpleasant, but intense. That could probably describe her alone, to boot. To think she’d been confident. What was she thinking? That she’d swoop in like Twilight, save the day, and walk away smiling? Against somepony who had the police force in her pocket and wouldn’t hesitate to use it? Did she really think she could outwit ponies who were trained to make buildings as secure as possible? Did she really think she could’ve led some podunk ponies in doing this in the first place? Somepony coughed. Sunburst. “So, u-um…” He pushed his glasses up his muzzle. “Now what?” Everyone looked at Bon Bon; she took a step back. “Don’t look at me,” she said quickly. “This is Starlight’s rodeo.” Everyone looked at Starlight; she swallowed. The best option was — always had been — to just walk away. Could she, in good conscience, do that? They were so close, but what little remained had just gotten hard. She started straightening her mane with her hooves. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “Maybe… if we just-” “Is this really that bad?” Derpy suddenly asked. Everyone looked at Derpy. “That… bad…” said Bon Bon. One of her ears twitched. “Yes it’s that bad! What do you think just happened?” “None of our plans got broken because of it.” “We didn’t have any plans yet.” “Exactly! We were making it up as we went already, and now we’ll just need to do a little more making up and be a bit more careful about what we do. And we know where just about everything is, so do we need to do any more infiltrating before the heist?” “I- We-” Bon Bon frowned. “I… guess not… probably…” “So we might not even need to set foot in the casino until the heist, which means we can stay out of trouble! Yeah, it’s bad, just not as bad as we think.” Silence fell over the room again. Nobody looked at anybody else, everyone being caught up in their own thoughts (except for Derpy, already caught up and already back out, who was nibbling at a muffin). Starlight stared at the floor. Goumada knew a changeling was around… but who would imagine a changeling was trying to steal money, rather than love? She knew somepony was trying to get into the security hub… but would she imagine that that pony was specifically trying to steal the Alicorn Amulet back? (Probably, if only from paranoia. But Starlight was trying to stay positive.) Bon Bon couldn’t get back into the casino through the main entrance… but what did she need to get back in for? (The heist itself. But then, the entrance had never been much of an option for Starlight, so they probably would’ve had to find another way in anyway.) And they’d been worried about security before. The only difference now was that it was tighter. A lot tighter. Tighter than they could’ve thought. Upon making her decision, Starlight stood up. “Take an hour or two to do whatever you want, okay? We need to clear our heads before we make another move. Brainstorm if you want, veg out and eat Cheez Whiz on the couch if you want, I don’t care. Just calm down for a bit. Me, I’m going to pig out on jelly foals.” She turned around and walked to the kitchen. Suddenly, she realized the Doctor was walking alongside her. “Can’t let you have all the jelly foals, ah?” he said. He smiled, but it wasn’t as wide as it usually was. “Together, our glorious indulgence and self-pity shall know no bounds!” “That’s probably true already,” said Starlight. “I’m pretty darn good at self-pity.” They broke open one of the larger bags of jelly foals, dumped it on the table, and began chowing away. The faux-fruit taste rolled around Starlight’s mouth, slowing her thoughts down. Only now did she realize just how much they’d been taking for granted: Goumada’s ignorance, security not knowing somepony was trying to break in, simply being able to walk in the front door… Yeah. This was going to be tricky. And the anniversary was in a week. Starlight swallowed. “So. Got any ideas?” The Doctor shook his head. “Not at the moment, sadly. Perhaps I need some sugar to get my brain started.” He started chewing on a jelly foal, then whispered loudly, “Even though carbs, not sugars, are what get your brain started.” “Hmm.” Starlight looked at one of the foals. It kind of looked like Goumada, maybe? She bit its head off and felt a bit better. “Ways in?” she muttered to herself. “Main entrance: ha ha, nope. Service entrances: probably not, especially if Goumada ups security. Airship landing platform: definitely not. Second most-obvious way in, and most of us can’t fly, anyway.” “Can’t you?” asked the Doctor. “Self-levitation and all?” “Yep. Not too hard, once you get the hang of it.” “Wish I could,” mumbled the Doctor. He rubbed his flat forehead. “So,” Starlight continued to herself, “we need an entrance that isn’t on the ground floor or the roof. Through one of the hotel rooms?” She devoured the rest of her Goumada effigy. “Too bad they don’t have balconies.” “Maybe Rainbow can ‘accidentally’ break through one of the windows during the rainboom,” joked the Doctor. “You know she’d survive.” “That mare could slam into the ground at rainboom speeds and walk away smiling,” said Starlight. “But where would we start, anyway?” Gilda suddenly stomped into the room and dropped herself into the chair next to Starlight. “Hey, so, uh, can I be excused? Like, completely? I mean, this whole thing just kinda went sideways and pear-shaped at the same time, and I want to get back to Griffonstone while I’m behind.” “What about your money?” asked the Doctor. “I like my life more than money, thanks,” said Gilda, rolling her eyes. “C’mon, even griffons aren’t that greedy, you dweeb. …Well, most griffons. Like, sixty percent. If you round up.” She rustled her wings and attempted to look away without actually looking away. “Not yet,” said Starlight. “We could still find a way to do this, and we need all the help we can get.” She wasn’t even being blindly optimistic to keep up morale; she really did think they could recover this, even if they needed to be extra creative about everything. “Uh-huh. Great.” Gilda grabbed a fistful of jelly foals, stuffed them in her mouth, and managed to swallow them without chewing. “So should I mail my epitaph back to Griffonstone now or tomorrow? Not that it’ll matter, since nogriff’d visit my grave, anyway.” She blinked and grabbed some more jelly foals. “I mean, seriously. Most of our recon for the past, what, week? That just got flushed down the toilet. We don’t know what’s happening or where most of the guards are. And they’ll be alert for real this time, so anybody suspicious hanging around is gonna attract attention. Tell me, how’re we gonna get information on the guards with all that?” A lightbulb went off in Starlight’s head. “Your boyfriend.” “…Could I have a minute to scream into a pillow?” “Go ahead.” “Thank you.” Once Gilda was gone, Starlight turned to the Doctor, who was chewing thoughtfully. “Do you think it’ll work?” “Don’t see why it wouldn’t,” the Doctor replied. “Just tell him, ‘hey, stuff went down, let us know what Goumada thinks’. It’s not even like he needs to do anything more than telling us what’s up, right?” “Dunno. Let’s see what Bon Bon thinks.” Starlight quickly found Bon Bon, sat her down in the dining room, and told her the plan. Bon Bon frowned, staring at the table and fiddling with a placemat. “I don’t know,” she said eventually. “I’m not too keen on getting a guard involved this deeply-” “For the last time, Gilda was pretty confident about him!” said Starlight. “-but if he was telling the truth, then… Yeah, this isn’t half bad.” Bon Bon looked Starlight in the eye. “But you’re the one going with Gilda to get him to do it.” Starlight hadn’t imagined it any other way. “Of course!” she said. “I can do this, no problem.” Maybe. Probably. And she could try some magic on him if she couldn’t. Bad idea, but at that point, it’d be the only idea. “Good.” Bon Bon eyed the pile of candy on the table. “You two aren’t going to eat all of that, are you?” “Help yourself,” said the Doctor.