"So what happened," Valey narrated, waving her hooves, "was like this: I was Ironridge's biggest slacker. Oh, I got stuff done, but I made a show of not doing anything and kind of just worked behind the scenes. And the best prank is where you take some dudes who are incompetent, give them a task you know they'll fail at that you don't want done anyway, and sit back and watch the show. So I had these goons, and I was like, 'Hey, let's set up a roadblock in the Earth District!' Probably did it a hundred times before that. Not to actually block anyone, but to have fun seeing how badly they got wrecked by everyone just walking right past them, you know? Now, when Sparky and her caravan rolled along, I expected that. She was sorta competent, and easy to fluster, so that was all cool. But what I wasn't counting on?" She glanced around the room dramatically. "Was Pancake."
Most of the room raised eyebrows, but Maple scratched an ear. "I feel like I might have been exhausted from the night of travel and slept through this on the delivery cart..."
Valey waved a hoof. "Yeah, well, Pancake was wide awake, and I could tell instantly that he was a scrub. If any of you haven't met him..." She glanced around again. "Actually, nah, I think all of you have. But he was a fraud. A loon. Black and red evil-cultist mane, coupled with the girliest pastel-pink coat you've ever seen. So I was like, this is the opportunity of a lifetime... and introduced myself to Ironflanks and Starlight by throwing a melon straight at his head. Nailed him, too. You could say it made an impression."
Shinespark blinked, giving her a strange look. "That's not what happened. It was your guards who threw the melon, they threw it at one of my subordinates who was already making a fool of himself, and you didn't stop napping until after that. You slept through it too."
Valey glared owlishly. "Hey, I'm telling the story!"
Amber burst out laughing.
"Yeah, yuck it up." Valey folded her forehooves behind her head and relaxed again. "Anyway, I followed these three for a bit 'cuz I thought Starlight smelled nice, offered to share some fruit with them, bailed them out when they were lost and we were instantly besties. True story."
"Perhaps omitting the part where Maple was taken captive by the Defense Force," Gerardo muttered, "and where I journeyed to Skyfreeze and forged a path across a blistering snowfield at night to try to reach an official and bring her some aid..."
Valey shrugged. "Ain't no aid better than me."
Slipstream, meanwhile, was shivering, a deeply unpleasant look on her face. "Oh, I did not need to remember that night. I fell in a snowdrift and had the worst cold of my life afterward."
"But you did assist me," Gerardo encouraged with a wink. "And as such, the start of a legendary partnership was born."
"Well, I'm glad you can remember what you did that night," Maple sighed. "All of it was so chaotic, all I can remember was running and tunnels and being afraid, and I think that happened more than once in Ironridge."
"I mean, half of it, I'm just making up what I'd do if I was in that situation again today." Valey belched, rotating her already-empty plate and spinning it atop a wingtip. "But yeah. I had a good feeling about them. We became besties."
Maple raised an eyebrow. "What I do remember was you telling us over and over not to get attached to you. It wasn't that quick. Also, I remember you thinking you could carry both me and Starlight at the same time, and you started calling me Ironflanks when you failed."
"Nyeheheh... Good times."
Gerardo grinned broadly. "Oh, indeed. Meanwhile, I had a rendezvous with a jaded Sky District inspector, obtained some fake security credentials, and marauded all across the Earth District and the Defense Force base..."
Harshwater turned to Slipstream and scratched her head. "This feels less like a coherent story and more like a bragging contest. Or is it just me? I can't follow at all."
"I was there, and I can't follow." Slipstream shook her head. "At least, there for part of it. But I think they've earned the right to brag. It's a celebration about where we've been, after all."
"I know bragging when I see it," Felicity added, "And this is certainly more of a celebration. Most braggarts care about their audience actually knowing what their deeds were."
Valey blinked over at the sound stone. "Oh bananas, you actually don't know what we're talking about, do you?"
"Haven't the foggiest. Not beyond what you've told me in some of our talks about how you used to be quite the wannabe villain yourself, at least."
"Okay, I was not a wannabe." Valey frowned, crossing her heart with a hoof. "I was the terror of Ironridge. Back me up on this, Sparky."
Shinespark nodded vehemently. "Was and is the terror of Ironridge."
A look crossed Jamjars' face that suggested she had a snarky or inappropriate remark, but she was wise enough to keep it to herself. No one was in the mood for a damper on the party.
"You wanna know how terrifying I was?" Valey gestured ominously. "When I was getting Ironflanks and Starlight out of the Stone District, we passed through this Earth District town called Blueleaf, and I got lead into a trap and ambushed by a pile of foals who were super upset I got their parents kicked down from above. Didn't even break a sweat fending it..." Her eyes shadowed. "Oh, bananas. Okay, maybe that's not the coolest thing I ever did."
"You had kids attempting to take revenge for things you did to their parents? That's the kind of thing I would expect out of Gyre, darling, not you."
"Yeah, yeah..." Valey waved a hoof, frowning. "So, point is, I actually did used to be pretty not very nice, even if I kept it to excessive pranks. Like hiring guards who would throw melons at lower-class executives. And harassing my employees by flirting with their special someponies. Bananas..."
Shinespark put a hoof on her shoulder. "You changed, though."
"You did," Maple agreed, "and I believed in you. Remember?"
"Hah. I remember telling you about moon glass. Trying to scare you away." Valey rolled her eyes. "Don't even remember how it came up. We were on a cart, and it was raining, and I guess you were being really stubborn about being nice to me and it was kind of making me feel awkward 'cuz that just doesn't happen? Real nice now, though. Must give you the biggest warm fuzzy to think about how being so stubbornly nice to someone who wasn't asking for it earned us the friendship we have today."
Maple took Valey's other shoulder. "You were absolutely worth it."
"Yeah, well..." Valey shrugged and relaxed. "Somewhere in there I got paged by stinking Herman to go help with some stuff, and got trapped and locked in that room for a million years until you got me out, which isn't very brag-worthy. So it's your stage for now, Birdo."
Gerardo chuckled. "Oh, I'm not sure my heroics were that noteworthy. I mostly snuck off to Sosa and met our friend Shinespark."
"One of the last few days Sosa ever had," Shinespark added. "I'm glad you got to see it. I spent that day running around as well. Looking back, it's a blur next to everything that came later."
"It might be a blur for you," Maple murmured, "but I'll never forget when we met White Chocolate. That was... a very important meeting for me."
"White Chocolate? Is that someone who joined up and left before you came to the Empire? I don't believe I've heard the name, darling."
Maple nodded, though Felicity wouldn't be able to see it. "White Chocolate is Jamjars' mother. We think she was Willow's twin sister, only living in Ironridge. I'm not even sure how to describe her..."
"You'd like her," Jamjars cut in, looking at the sound stone. "She's a lot like you, Felicity."
Valey silently glared at Jamjars, motioning for her to knock it off.
"Ahaha... Good company, hmm? Well, I can always use a sympathetic face. A shame she's probably continents away..."
"Well, we met her," Maple sighed. "And we met Shinespark, and met back up with Gerardo, and saw the Immortal Dream, which hadn't been named yet, and learned so many things I can't even begin to remember. It was a bit of a stressful time. Talking about the bombs on the dam, and what to do about them..."
"It's a long story," Shinespark agreed, leaving it at that.
Gerardo politely cleared his throat. "Ah, but one with a most thrilling course! Some dastard was trying to floor Sosa, we learned, and the politics of the situation involved an immeasurable amount of tension and second-guessing. Though I believe most of our day was actually spent assisting with evacuation preparations..."
"Helping White Chocolate move her family," Maple clarified. "She had... a lot of foals. I don't remember if it was eleven or twelve."
"Twenty-eight," Jamjars helpfully corrected.
"Eleven foals!?" Felicity gasped, winding herself in the process. "That's... but... What kind of masochist would one have to even be to go through all this twice, let alone double digits..."
"The kind who's lost control of their life," Maple quietly murmured, "and is afraid to make changes, because even though what they're doing isn't working, they're too scared to do anything but what's familiar. Her husband had left her, so she was on her own with them, too."
There was a sputtering from the other side of the sound stone. "That sounds... deeply unfortunate for all involved."
"It was." Maple shrugged. "We helped her. I think Gerardo's right, and it took most of the day."
"Yeah, but at some point you bailed me out, right?" Valey raised an eyebrow. "And I tried to bail you out in return, and I think Starlight might'a slapped me for the way I did it but I don't really remember. And then we fought, like, a million goons."
Starlight folded her ears. With how good of a time everyone seemed to be having, even talking about the bad things that happened in Ironridge, it made her want to try it and see if it could feel good too. "I passed out from trying to shoot down the mercenaries with crystal."
Valey glanced at her, nodding approvingly. "Bananas, yeah, you did. You were a champ."
Harshwater hugged herself. "Okay, so this maybe isn't my absolute favorite part of the whole thing to think about."
"Yeah?" Valey looked over at her. "Well hey, why not tell a better part? Aside from the time or two we ran into you, I've got basically no idea what you spent those days doing."
Harshwater's brow shadowed. "That's because I mostly spent it following Kero. Who didn't deserve it. I wish I could punch him."
"Oh. Yeah. Heh. That was before... Heh." Valey chuckled, then stopped herself apologetically. "Yeah, he was a windbag."
"He tried to keep the cliques within our mercenary team working on separate projects when confidential orders were involved," Harshwater continued. "Officially, we were all in Ironridge contracted to Herman to do his dirty work, but I'm certain he was having us do jobs from Chauncey in the Griffon Empire as well. I don't think you could put together the full story from anyone except Kero himself anymore."
"It's a full story I'd like to hear at some point," Shinespark admitted. "There's a lot of Ironridge recent history I could know more about. Especially Elise..." She sighed wistfully. "You all met Elise, right? My older half-sister?"
"Living in Blueleaf." Valey nodded vigorously. "Bananas, she was hot."
Shinespark grimaced. "Thank you for noticing, but she was also my sister."
In the corner, Grenada grimaced too.
"Well, in lieu of any further bragging about our achievements," Gerardo said, speaking up amid the awkward silence. "I think it's fair to sum up everything next that happened that night with things exploded."
Valey nodded sagely. "The good kind, and the bad kind of explosions."
"Mostly the bad kind," Shinespark added, wincing harder. "That was... an event I thought I was prepared for, and I wasn't."
Valey nudged her shoulder again. "Yeah, but you had me to goad you back onto your hooves. And besides, blowing up Herman is at least a little of the good kind of explosion."
Starlight tried to speak again. "Me blowing up the harmony extractor wasn't, though."
"Well, it had good results," Maple admitted. "But it certainly didn't feel good while it was happening. I thought I would lose you... That was one of the hardest nights of my life."
"But in the end?" Valey shrugged, patting both her and Shinespark on the back. "We all survived. Ironridge was pretty messed up, but we did enough weird science guessing to get Sparky's ship in the air, and Arambai was all, 'Don't wallow here! Shoo!' And we went back to Riverfall and Slipstream and White Chocolate tagged along too. Yeah?"
"Yep." Slipstream nodded. "I just tagged along. That's as accurate as you can get."
"Really." Felicity sounded skeptical. "Darling, you... barely featured at all in that montage?"
Slipstream blushed. "We skipped my grand opening. It was where I took Gerardo out to lunch."
"And Maple and Starlight," Gerardo insisted. "It was truly gracious of you, though. We were floundering in a sea of not having knowledge, and lo and behold, a knowledgeable helpdesk kiosk mare, finding herself attracted to my exotic avian visage..."
Slipstream blushed harder. "Is this the place for that?"
"It's true, though," Valey prodded with a sly grin. "You came along with us because you had a crush on the griffon."
"W-What can I say?" Slipstream tried to look furiously casual. "My workplace was destroyed, job prospects in Ironridge were suddenly looking terrible, I was young and in good health barring that cold and had few enough ties I could afford to strike out for the world and take a chance on something that seemed like a good idea at the time."
"For what it's worth," Nyala murmured, "I'm grateful you did. You've been one of my better friends since I awakened in Braen's armor."
Slipstream pumped a hoof, making her blush worse. "Huzzah for the B-Team!"
"Yeah!" Amber cheered. "Making a killing by opening that sky restaurant in Stormhoof for a month!"
"A pity we're about to go back to Ironridge, where all that currency is out of style." Gerardo glanced at Maple and Starlight. "I don't suppose the ponies of Sires Hollow would appreciate it if we blessed you with a very large monetary fortune born of a month of catering to the filthy rich, would they? It seems like they've fought hard to get what they have, and it could be about time fortune visited them with dividends..."
Maple blinked in surprise. "That's... actually a very interesting idea. Hmmm..." She snuggled back into the couch. "I wish flying back to Riverfall after Ironridge had truly been the happy ending we were wishing for."
"It was pretty happy, though..." Valey raised an eyebrow. "I mean, stuff didn't go south until after we went back to Ironridge for an extended vacation tour and then got back to Riverfall. We had some happy times."
"We did. It was a good vacation." Maple smiled in remembrance. "I... don't actually remember a whole lot happening."
"That's the hallmark of the best vacations," Amber chimed in. "When too much is going on in your life and you just need it to stop, nothing is the best thing to have."
Valey stuck out her tongue at Harshwater. "Yeah... nothing, or a pile of Kero portraits looted from his villa. Isn't that when you got those?"
Harshwater blushed. "I deny everything and will never change my tune."
"Hahahahaha!"
Starlight stared at the exchange, a little of the tension finally starting to lift in her heart. Her friends didn't have their heads in the sand, at the very least. All this laughter was earnest, not them lying to themselves about what was still to come. And they were laughing about the bad things in their lives just as much as the good.
She had always wondered what her old parents could have done to help take the edge off her loss of Sunburst. Maybe that was the reason her friends now were so insistent on doing this. Maybe the lesson was here for her to learn, and it wasn't happy memories they wanted to leave her so much as a life skill she had once never known existed.
Though, if they wanted to leave her both, she wouldn't really mind at all.