"Go big - or go home!"
Those five words were everywhere, unavoidable; printed on T-shirts and pennants, looped in advertising jingles, plastered over every available surface whenever the Wonderbolts were in town.
Spitfire hadn't liked Rainbow's idea to use it as a motto. For sure, Rainbow remembered the withering look Spitfire had given her from behind those shades, eyebrows raised, repeating those words before pausing for just the right amount of time... and then asking a squirming Rainbow if she'd heard correctly, that she was suggesting the Wonderbolts advertise their shows by telling fans to stay home.
Of course, when Spitfire had put it like that, it sounded dumb, and Rainbow had felt dumb, and the posters had stayed stiffly official, and wordy, and earnest, and the crowds had kept showing up in decent numbers, and the idea had been quietly swept into the breeze.
When Scootaloo came on board, the first thing she did was to bring a bunch of old Washouts posters to the recruitment office. After much arguing, she'd managed to convince the Wonderbolts that whatever the rights and wrongs of the actual Washouts shows, their marketing had been pretty awesome. There'd been a lot of discussion, and a lot of hooves pounding on tables, and Rainbow had taken the opportunity to show Scootaloo the slogan she'd come up with years before.
Eventually, the Wonderbolts had agreed to give Scootaloo one show, using that new slogan, one show to play up the flashy, dangerous, fun side of the average Wonderbolts performance.
It wasn't until Rainbow Dash was making her sighting laps, and looked down to see a line of ponies stretching into the distance, queueing for tickets to the already-full, hastily-added second night, stomping their hooves and chanting the new motto in unison, that she'd realized Scootaloo was on to something.
"Go Big! Or Go Home!
Go Big! Or Go Home!"
She'd been right all along.
Applejack hadn't liked the new slogan either. Unlike Rainbow Dash, she'd never gotten over that initial dislike. Until now, she'd never put that dislike into words for Rainbow to hear, or to read, because Applejack knew...
She sighed and shook her head and snorted and resumed her pacing up and down the old main hall, oblivious to the sound of her loudly clacking hoof-stomps echoing off the walls.
...She hadn't ever said it, because she knew that if she did that, she'd have to explain herself. She knew Rainbow didn't need to hear that explanation. She knew there was no way Rainbow would take her explanation kindly. She knew that the whole idea of picking that slogan apart was opening up a can of worms. Ugly, treacherous worms that might never fit back in there again.
Back when Applejack had first managed to reconcile the idea of representing the Element of Honesty with the idea of not telling her marefriend something in case it hurt her feelings... that was when she'd truly known, for real, that this was it, that this was happening and that this was right and that this was good and that she never, ever wanted it to end.
And now it felt like it was all going wrong, and she didn't know why, and she didn't like not knowing why... and that feeling, that knowing, that she wanted things to stay the same forever, that feeling was starting to flicker and peel and bend, all because she felt like she'd been lied to, and somehow Rainbow Dash...
...still...
...wasn't...
...here!
There's always an explanation, she thought to herself, as she paced the floor. Always.
Applejack hadn't so much realized she preferred the romantic company of mares, or at least not at any particular moment she could later identify with the benefit of hindsight. Rather, she'd come to a growing acceptance that she wasn't particularly interested in stallions on any level, and that she found something unpleasant - or at least wearisome - in the idea of submitting to somepony, of being with somepony who couldn't handle their partner being stronger or more stubborn. From there, it had been a gradual process of acknowledging to herself that while she wasn't actively looking for a relationship with anypony, since honestly the farm work that took up most of her time was always more interesting than the idea of canoodling with anypony, stallion or not, well...
...if push came to shove, she'd supposed it might be rather nicer to cuddle up by the fire with a mare on a cold night, to help brush a mare's mane and tail in the morning, to bathe with a mare, to kiss a mare, to passionately kiss a mare, to go to bed with a mare....
...and - eventually - she'd stopped thinking too much. Applejack had just accepted she was gay, and that that was that, and that there was probably no practical situation that might arise in which that information would make any difference to anypony, and that it was best not to dwell on such matters, and that anyway it was time to rotate the crops in the south field.
And then a situation did arise, and when it happened it had been as unexpected as it had been wonderful, and for a few months it had felt like everything old was new again and all bets were off and her life had begun afresh. The Story of Applejack, Act Two.
Waking up next to Rarity, playfully resisting most of her attempts at "prettifying", secretly swelling with pride at every new article and fashion show, it had all been like some kind of crazy dream. Even stepping out in public next to her marefriend had been a thrill and an adventure. Stepping out, because Rarity needed her. Stepping out to be photographed, in the least frou-frou Rarity creation she'd found acceptable. Stepping out to be photographed, and knowing those photographs would make it to the Ponyville papers and to Sweet Apple Acres. Knowing that a conversation she'd never felt the need to have before was hurtling around the bend, and that by kissing Rarity on the cheek in Manehattan, she was making Big Mac spit his oats over the breakfast table a couple hundred miles away. It had all been incredible.
But it hadn't been right.
When they'd eventually, inevitably broken up, Applejack still too bound to the farm and to home, Rarity needing to live her worldwide life in the public eye to keep her business and her reputation alive, it had been a kind of relief. Applejack felt proud that they had managed to remain friends afterwards, that the first time she saw Rarity with another mare she hadn't felt the stabbing pain of betrayal or any of the other stuff that romance novels had tried to warn her about; she'd just felt glad Rarity had managed to move on, and that was pretty much it.
But when Applejack came to give Rarity back some of her stuff, clearing out a bunch of reminders of a relationship that no longer existed, she'd realized with a jolt that the picture she'd most treasured - the picture she'd always kept closest, the one she'd taken with her on adventures, the one where she'd had copies made for her nightstand - wasn't a picture of her and Rarity at all.
It was the whole gang - six ponies and a dragon - posing together, smiling and laughing after some victory or other, and just in that split second, just as the camera shutter had clicked, Rainbow had been looking at Applejack from across the group.
Applejack had seen that picture a thousand times before, but as she'd picked it up to put it in the Rarity box, she'd noticed the look in Rainbow's eyes, and it had struck her with a shock of recognition she'd never felt before, a sudden and obvious flash of familiarity.
She knew that look.
Rainbow had tried to deny it, of course she had.
It's a trick of the light, it's me blinking as the camera went off, it's probably the only shot out of the whole roll where I have that expression. There's always an explanation.
Applejack hadn't bought it. Rainbow had known Applejack hadn't bought it, but she'd been grateful to her for letting her do it anyway; for letting her pretend that this was all Applejack's idea and that Rainbow had come to question her feelings only after she knew Applejack was interested, only after she'd spoken to Rarity to make sure it would all be OK.
I've never thought about it, but sure, let's give this a shot, maybe it'll be awesome, no biggie if it doesn't work out, I know we'll do our best to make sure it isn't weird, this doesn't mean I have to start acting all girly and going to the spa, well, yeah, why not?
Within a month, the picture was back on Applejack's nightstand, and AJ had gotten used to waking up to a honking snore and a face full of blue feathers, deliriously happy.
"Why'd you gotta pick one?"
~ What?
"That danged slogan! 'Go big or go home', ah always hated it!"
~ AJ... have you been drinking again?
"Don't you go usin' your fancy arguments to muddy the issue, missy. Ah'm talkin' now. An' I'm tellin' you it's a bad line to be usin'. Oh, sure, it's a great slogan for the Wonderbolts as a group, y'all can thank Scootaloo for makin' your shows more excitin' and gettin' them crowds packed into the showgrounds and sellin' more t-shirts with your pretty face all over 'em. For sure, all of that's true enough. But it's a bad line for you, Rainbow Dash."
~ Uh, what? You mind explaining why?
"You wanna know? For real?"
Applejack sighed and wiped a forehoof across her head before continuing.
"Because it's dumb, Rainbow. Ah never liked it because it's dumb. It says to me... it says to everypony watchin' you, flyin' around up there, soakin' up all the applause, readin' them posters, that for you, for Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolt-iest Wonderbolt there ever was... It says that goin' big ain't ever gonna be the same as goin' home. And ah always wanted the biggest thing for you, in your life, to be home. Our home. The way ah always felt about mah home, ever since ah got mah cutie mark. Wantin' to go home... that's mah thing, Rainbow. It's always felt like, deep down... it ain't yours."
A lengthy pause.
"You there?"
~ Yeah, I'm here.
"And... ah never felt ah could tell you, because ah don't wanna be your anchor. Your dumb hick farmin' earth pony anchor, who keeps you from followin' your dreams. We both know it, you love hearin' a crowd of ponies cheerin' and hollerin' and callin' your name. Ah felt like if'n ah told you mah deepest fears there, you'd grow resentful, like ah wanted to keep you grounded, stop you bein' you. And that ain't it at all, Rainbow! Ah ain't never been prouder of you than... d'you know when? Not seein' you save Equestria or do some incredible flyin' trick, nope. Proudest ah ever was to be the marefriend of the one and only Rainbow Dash was when ah sat in that gym up in Vanhoover, watchin' you sit for eight and a half danged hours signin' autographs for every little colt and filly who came on out to see you. Ah know the love of your fans is in your blood, Rainbow Dash."
~ I know what's in your blood right now. You know I don't like it when you drink, AJ. Not when you're on your own.
"Ah wouldn't BE on mah own, if mah marefriend could see fit to give me just one precious night outta her oh so danged important Wonderbolts stuff to set mah mind at ease! But ah'm startin' to think you don't even care about mah worries and mah cares, just so long as you can do your lil' loop-de-loops or whatever!"
~ Aw, come on, AJ. You know that's not true. And hey, you always said my stunts were awesome! And I mean, we all KNOW you can't lie about that stuff, not to my face. What's gotten into you? (Besides the booze, that is.)
"What's gotten into me? Apart from the fact mah house is under a tent full of dinosaur bones, and mah very own mate is refusin' to come home and comfort me? Sure, that might be enough of an explanation for most ponies, but seems like it ain't enough for Rainbow Dash, on account of how well ah seem to be dealin' with all of this, so you need more? Hmmmm, let me think," said Applejack, tapping her hoof on her chin in a mock expression of deep thought. "Oh, here we go, ah reckon ah got somethin'. How about, here ah am mindin' mah own business tryin' to keep calm and go about mah day, and ah find out y'all have been secretly correspondin' with Rarity? Of all the ponies to be goin' behind mah back with... Rarity, ah'm askin' you! How about that, huh? How d'you like them apples?"
~ Uh, what? I don't know what you're talking about.
"Y'all are HIDIN' somethin' from me, missy, and ah do not care for bein' lied to! Now, you best get your rump down here RIGHT NOW an' explain to me exactly what is goin' on, or ah swear to Celestia ah'm gonna-"
"Enough!!!!", shouted Starlight Glimmer, and the quill fell abruptly to the floor. "This is not what I had in mind when I offered to let you use these journals, and it is not what I had in mind when I offered to let you use my speech to text spell!"
Applejack looked sheepishly at the polished floor.
"I think you should go to bed, Applejack," said Starlight, gently floating the whiskey bottle away with her magic, drawing a petulant murmur from her drunken guest. "You can write a proper letter to Rainbow in the morning, when you've cleared your head."
"Ah'm sorry, Starlight," mutter-drawled Applejack, as she staggered towards the stairs. "Ah guess ah need to ask your hospitality one more night."
"You know you're always welcome," said Starlight, casually tucking the magical journal under her foreleg and clasping it closed. "But I don't want to get in the middle of whatever's happening between you and Rainbow Dash. And I think it'll be best for everypony if you head to bed now. Friends don't let friends journal when drunk."
"Now, what's the matter, darling?," asked Rarity, concerned. "You've barely said a word these past five minutes. It was hardly worth me coming down here at this rate, never mind sneaking out again in the middle of the night like some... well, I was going to say, like somepony with something to hide, but I suppose that's an accurate description, isn't it?"
"She's onto me," said Rainbow Dash, darkly, not looking up.
"I beg your pardon?", said Rarity, and this time Rainbow looked up to meet her.
"She's onto me. She's onto us."
"Whatever do you mean?"
"She's found out we've seen each other," said Rainbow, and Rarity's ears perked up in alarm.
"What? How?"
"I don't know," said Rainbow. "It was about a half hour before you got here. I was using Starlight's stupid magic journal thing. AJ told me she knew I talked to you. She was starting to write something else, and then she... stopped."
"What else does she know? Is she coming here now?", asked Rarity, the panic in her rising voice clearly audible.
"No. I don't know. I don't think so. Look, just calm down, okay? I need you to be the calm one."
"Calm? Darling, I pride myself on keeping a level head in a crisis, but... Oh, Rainbow, it's Applejack we're talking about! Of all ponies... This is why I was so nervous about all of this!"
"I know, okay?", snorted Rainbow, standing up and pacing. "I'm not saying it's good, or anything. I'm just..."
Rainbow stopped, looking over towards the cottage. "...I don't want her to get hurt. I wanted to do this right, Rarity."
"Yes, well, you know my thoughts on that. My advice was to tell her, immediately, if you recall. She doesn't like any kind of a fuss, and if she were to discover..."
"Yeah. I know what you think. I don't agree. And I thought you sneaking out here in the middle of the night meant you were OK with me not agreeing. Do you even want this, Rarity?"
"Don't be cruel, darling. As you have so... directly pointed out, I am indeed here. With you. In secret. In a tent. In the middle of the night. There really isn't much room for mixed signals, as it were."
Rainbow suppressed a giggle, and Rarity smiled despite herself.
"I suppose I just don't understand why," said Rarity, quietly.
"Why what?" snorted Rainbow.
"Why everything," replied Rarity. "Why now, and why me? Why, when you have such a good thing going with Applejack?"
"Because I don't want 'good' any more, okay? 'Good' was good, but I'm not ready to settle for good. I want things to be perfect!"
Rainbow looked at Rarity, and reached out to take her hoof.
"And, y'know, when you're going for perfect, well... the first name anypony thinks of is yours, Rarity."
After a moment's hesitation, Rarity placed her hoof atop Rainbow's, and the two looked into each other's eyes for what felt like several minutes of silence.
Rarity finally gave a polite giggle, breaking the spell with a joke. "That's a given, darling!," she smiled, and Rainbow smirked too, relieved by the dissipating tension.
"But even with all of that... oh, Rainbow, you know my history with Applejack. You've been together with her longer than we ever were. If you had doubts on how to handle things with her, well, why ask me-"
"Because," said Rainbow, cutting her off as she turned away. "Because I still worry... that you know her better than I do."
There was a moment of silence, and then Rainbow snorted and shook her head.
"...Stupid...", she began to mutter under her breath. "Uh... could you maybe, kinda, forget I ever-"
Rarity placed a hoof on Rainbow's muzzle, gently hushing her with a smile.
"Darling," said Rarity, softly. "If there was ever one piece of advice I'd ever, ever choose to give somepony regarding Applejack, it would be this: '...What would Rainbow Dash do?'"
"Yeah?" asked Rainbow, tentatively leaning in for a cuddle. "You sure about that?"
"...I am," smiled Rarity, as she snuggled her close.