//------------------------------// // Dig A Pony // Story: Diplodocus // by The Cloptimist //------------------------------// "And we'll need the unicorns to do their soundings... here, and also here. Make sure you specify these exact depths, from the chart. Nopony breaks ground until I tell them to, in my physical presence. Got all that?" "Yes, Professor," said the student, nodding and backing away. Making his way out of the kitchen, he almost bumped into Sugar Belle, who caught a mug of steaming coffee with her magic just in time to stop it breaking on the floor. "Sorry, miss," the student called out as he trotted out into the barnyard, without turning to look behind him. "Is this going to take a long time?", asked Sugar Belle, setting the coffee down on the one part of the kitchen table that wasn't covered in charts and papers. Petunia Paleo looked up, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "I don't know," she said, matter-of-factly, before turning back to her map of Sweet Apple Acres. "It depends what we've found." "But what do you think you've found?", asked Sugar Belle, gently. "I mean... it must be something pretty important, for you to have put that great big tent up already." "We haven't gone public with it, and we're sorta trying to keep it under wraps - ha, under wraps, get it? Like, how everything's under that tent right now!", said Petunia, chortling at her own joke. Sugar Belle blinked. "...Anyway", continued Petunia, after an awkwardly long silence, "if I'm right - and I think I am - what we're looking at are the fossilized remains of a complete specimen of Diplodocus. Which would make this the first time a complete skeleton of this particular species has ever been found, anywhere in Equestria!" Sugar Belle cocked her head. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just having a hard time understanding. A skeleton?" "A dinosaur skeleton!", beamed Petunia, picking up the mug between her hooves and taking a huge gulp of coffee. "A complete dinosaur skeleton! From Twilight knows how many moons ago! Completely untouched by pony hooves... Untouched, that is, until now!" Petunia stood there in the kitchen, eyes closed, hooves outstretched, as if she was basking in the stomped applause of some imaginary symposium. Somewhere in the distance, a baby cried. Sugar Belle blinked at her decidedly odd guest for a moment, before making to turn and see what her foal needed. She was weighing up whether to say anything, or just silently leave the palaeontology pony in her kitchen, when a sweetly piercing drawl cut through the air and snapped Petunia out of her reverie. "Hey, watch yerself there, would ya? You're spillin' yer coffee on the floor," said Apple Bloom, looking around her in some confusion at the piles of maps and sketches of bones littering the room. "Uh, Sugar Belle, would ah be out of line if'n ah were to ask what in the hay is goin' on? There's a real big tent over by Applejack and Rainbow's cottage, and a whole bunch of ponies ah ain't never seen before in mah life, trampin' up an' down the path with shovels and such." "Well," said Sugar Belle, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, "I need to go and see to the baby, so this seems as good a time as any to hand you over to each other. Professor? This is Apple Bloom, my sister in law, one third owner of Sweet Apple Acres, and a professor herself -" "Oh?" asked Petunia, her ears literally perking up at the word. "Oh yes," said Sugar Belle, "a professor of potions and botany at the School of Friendship. I'm sure you two can find plenty to talk about! And Apple Bloom, this is Professor..." "Petunia Paleo!", beamed Apple Bloom, as she grabbed the startled Petunia's hoof for a hearty shake. "Ah know you, right? You were just a little filly, and your folks called me an' mah Crusaders to try and figure out what your cutie mark meant. They were worried you were gonna be a pirate, as ah recall!" Petunia and Apple Bloom shared a giggle, as Sugar Belle smiled and backed out of the room to leave them to it. "That's right," grinned Petunia. "That was the day I uncovered my first dinosaur, right there in the garden. Iguanodon, most likely, only a partial specimen but definitely a bipedal hypsilophodontid..." She trailed off, realising she'd lost Apple Bloom. "I, uh, still have that first bone on my desk at the museum," said Petunia, a little sheepishly. "It's nice to see you again, Apple Bloom." "Mah pleasure... but ah still don't get what's goin' on. Why are you in mah sister in law's kitchen? And what's with all the shovels? And that tent?" "Well," began Petunia, excitedly, but before she could continue, she was frightened by a yell from the corridor - "DINOSAUR BONES?! WHAT IN TARNATION?" - followed by a renewed burst of crying baby noises, followed by the sound of hooves, one set trotting off towards the baby, one set marching right towards... "You the professor? The pony who had 'em go and put that there tent right over mah cottage?", barked Applejack, crossly, as she stomped into the room, steam still rising from her flanks after the gallop downhill, snorting and flaring her nostrils as she drew herself up to her full height, still as imposing as any Apple matriarch despite her advancing years. Petunia gave a squeak of fright and instinctively backed away, before Apple Bloom stepped forward and placed herself between the two ponies. "Applejack, this is Professor Petunia Paleo," said Apple Bloom, fixing her big sister with a stare, "who is a guest in our home" - the word made Applejack immediately stand down with a blush of embarrassment - "and who was just about to do some explainin'. Ain't that right Professor?" "Hm? Oh! Oh yes! It's quite remarkable, really. Remarkable! It's possibly the single most important scientific discovery of the last fifteen years, and it's right here, quite literally outside your door," blurted Petunia, before she realised Applejack wasn't sharing her enthusiasm. "It's incredibly rare to find even a partial Diplodocus skeleton in situ, and now suddenly it turns out that Sweet Apple Acres might very well have the first complete, perfectly preserved specimen ever to be discovered in all of Equestria! Isn't it amazing?" Applejack, who cared nothing for dinosaurs, and who considered it mightily rude that this Diplodocus character had seen fit to drop dead right in front of the window where she loved to sit with Dash and watch the leaves fall from the trees, had to grudgingly admit to herself that, yes, it could maybe be argued it was indeed kind of impressive. Especially if it was another thing that underlined how the Apples were the best at everything. "Okay," said Applejack, thoughtfully, picking a stalk of buckwheat out from a stoneware jar and chewing it slowly, suppressing a smile over her pride in their farmstead's newly-acquired palaeontological significance. "But why in the cotton-pickin' wide world of ponykind is there a huge tent coverin' mah house? What's that got to do with yer Dipadolcus bones?" "Diplodocus-", began Petunia, but Applejack shushed her with a wave of her hoof. "Ah ain't done talkin'. From the top of the hill ah thought Flim and Flam had come back to haunt us! Gave me a powerful fright, 'till ah saw it weren't no circus big top." "Flim and...?" began Petunia. "Long story. Don't worry about it," said Apple Bloom. "This is where I was up to when you came in, Apple Bloom," said Sugar Belle, walking back into the kitchen, sleeping foal swaddled in a papoose. Applejack smiled at her sister in law and her tiny niece, and tipped her hat. "Sorry for gettin' a mite wound tight there, Shug," said Applejack. "Ah didn't mean to raise a ruckus like that. Ah just weren't prepared for none of... this." Sugar Belle stood alongside Applejack and gently nuzzled her before continuing. "The Professor was telling me earlier that there's a law - a new law, one that Princess Twilight Sparkle herself wrote?" "That's right," nodded Petunia. "The Princess is a great supporter of science and natural history, and she made a decree that wherever and whenever any significant historical, archaeological or palaeontological discovery is made in Equestria, then every effort should be made to ensure that it's kept safe from harm or damage until it can be catalogued or moved. And this particular specimen is in a part of your land with very high hoof traffic. We applied to the Royal Palace for permission to erect that tent as soon as possible, and we headed out here the minute we got the signed permit." "Twilight musta not known this was happenin' here," said Applejack. "I've no wish to be an ungrateful guest on your land," said Petunia, "and I'm sure you could write to the Princess to clear things up, but as things stand I'm afraid for the next few weeks, this permit means we have full legal power to do what we need to do, in order to ensure..." "Ah don't need to write to the Princess!", barked Applejack, snorting heavily. "Princess Twilight and I go way back, ya hear? There's no way she agreed to..." Applejack looked at the scroll Petunia held in her mouth. "...agreed to..." Applejack looked at the unmistakeable purple star cutie mark embossed on the scroll. "...to..." Applejack looked at the ornate flourish of a signature at the foot of the document. Her Celestial Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle "...Huh," drawled Applejack, slowly. An uncomfortably long silence descended upon the kitchen, softened only by the sound of Applejack thoughtfully chewing on her stalk of wheat. "Talk to the Princess, huh?", she finally exclaimed, making everypony in the room flinch, as Petunia nodded nervously. "Well, then, Miss Petunia Paleo... Ah reckon ah might go an' do just that." Applejack spat her wheat stalk into the trash can. "AB? Shug? Ah guess ah'm goin' back to Canterlot." "But, Applejack..." protested Sugar Belle, only for Applejack to quiet her with a wave of her hoof. "Apple Bloom can look after our guests for the time bein', while you go an' see to your young'ins," drawled Applejack, straightening her hat. "Now then, Miss Petunia - Miss Paleo? Professor? - well, ah'm gonna leave y'all in the capable hooves of mah lil' sister here. Ah trust ah can rely on y'all not to cause too much of a ruckus while mah sister-in-law here is helpin' her foal to sleep an' all, but if'n y'all should need somethin' - a nice hot drink, or blankets, or whatever - well, AB, ah'm relyin' on you to keep Miss Petunia and her, uh, dinosaur-diggin' friends taken care of while ah go sort out this whole mess." "Yes, ma'am," nodded Apple Bloom, firmly. "And speakin' of mess," said Applejack, fixing Petunia with a frown, "by the time ah get back, ah want to see these here coffee stains an' hoofprints gone from this floor. Y'all saw fit to put up that big ol' tent to stop anypony walkin' over your Dip-lo-do-cus there. Ah would ask y'all kindly to extend that same courtesy to mah family while y'all are guests in their home. We do not track mud indoors with our dirty hooves in the Apple house." Petunia Paleo looked for a moment as if she was going to respond with an indignant snort, but instead she simply nodded and looked sheepishly down at her dusty, mud-spattered hooves. Applejack turned tail and strode out of the room, tipping her hat as she headed out towards the path to town. "Y'all make yourselves real comfortable while you're here, now," she called back over her shoulder. "But don't go gettin' too settled, you hear? Ah have a feelin' y'all won't be stayin' very long." Sugar Belle looked at Apple Bloom, and then at the stunned professor, and then back at Apple Bloom, before half-whispering to her sister in law. "...I thought she was bringing Rainbow Dash with her?"