//------------------------------// // Entry 11: So...Very...Tired... // Story: A Very Happy and Sunny Life // by Wearin Hat //------------------------------// Can you say best date ever? No? Oh right, you’re a book. How silly of me, I’ll have to remember that one. Thanks for reminding me Booky; I promise I won’t forget again. As you can tell, I’m extremely excited over how well my date with Octavia went. Despite the constant presence of a white mare with blue hair and sunglasses (She couldn’t hide from my piercing gaze, conspirators never can.), Octavia and I hit it off pretty well. Alas, I’m still a virgin, but that can be solved in time. However, I now have a possible outlet for that special kind of frustration. Luckily, I remembered to tone down my hotness for the date. That way I can unveil the entirety of the hotness at a later date when she is more taken with me. I learned a good deal about her while we conversed and ate. I’ll make a list so that I can have a reference to rely on should the information become needed: her favorite color is burgundy, her favorite instrument is the cello, she plays the cello, she’s a year older than me (At least I think she is. I still haven't figured mine out yet.), she lives with a roommate here in Ponyville, her roommate’s name is Vinyl Scratch, she dislikes Vinyl’s music, she isn’t fond of Pinkie Pie’s behavior (I practically swooned right there.), she was trained to play the cello in Canterlot, she was originally born in Ponyville, her cutie mark (A treble clef.) symbolizes her musical talent, she’s terrified of spiders (By Celestia’s odious teat I think I’m in love!), and she is fond of winter. You have no clue how much I wanted to grill her on that night in the ally...you know…the one where I caught her getting necked by somepony. I don’t think she’s overly fond of me though. According to her, as this was a question I actually did ask, the ponies of Ponyville aren’t too sure of what to think of me. She said that the majority of the town felt bad for me after the fire and many wanted to help but just didn’t know how to approach me. I relayed to her that was a good thing as I generally don’t like being approached. All in all, I’m apparently quite the urban legend as foals think of me as a vampire and other silly things like that. Things got kind of serious when she asked why I had attacked Pinkie and the lesbian. First off, you cannot attack somepony with pastries, it just wouldn’t work. Secondly, I must remember to take note that she did not seem to approve of the way I got angry when talking about the Pinktard. Lastly, I do not like Pinkie Pie. That last one is more of a reminder as I don’t want that information to EVER be overlooked. To be honest, I’m really glad that I asked her out. Yeah, I lost a lot of sleep and I’m still really tired despite having just gotten out of bed, but I never get to go out to places and I even neverer get to hang out with anypony. I must also mention that the expressions on everypony’s faces at seeing me in the daylight were priceless. It was like they were seeing a ghost or something. Oh! I saw Twilight while I was out earlier. She looked like she wanted to have a word with me, but the second she saw Octavia she kind of got this retarded look on her face like she had no clue what to think about what she was seeing. I was hoping she would come over and say hi so that I could relish in audibly saying I was on a date, but she chose to trot off with a weird smile rather than pursue whatever was on her mind before. Being the gentlecolt that I am, I escorted my date home (With that stalker pony lurking just out of view at all times.) charitably. She said that she really enjoyed our lunch and that she’d had more fun than she had personally believed she would. What really caught my attention was when she said that she’d be very open to going out again sometime and then (Get ready for this.) she kissed my cheek before heading into her abode. She kissed me, she really kissed me! A mare kissed me! A female pressed her lips against my cheeks! If I was a pegasus, which I am thankfully not, then my wings would’ve fired off like fireworks! I’m not one to blush and I can’t recall a pony ever seeing me blush, but that provoked a change of color beneath my fur. My face heated up like it was on fire and my pupils shrank so much that it kind of hurt. I think she noticed as she started to giggle before closing the door. Do mares think blushing is cute? Why would that be the case? I don’t know, but that’s a lesson I’m going to remember. As much as I would’ve liked to see the sights of Ponyville in daylight for the first time since whenever, my fatigue hit me hard and made me drag myself towards my beloved house. I saw a few ponies (The white pony with the blue mane from before was noticeably absent at that point.) on my trek back to my shelter. To my shame, I was only able to put a name to a few of them. However, I did see a few familiar faces that waved in surprised (Remember how I said it was like everypony was seeing a ghost? Well, yeah, there you go.) greeting. I recall seeing the bane of all language, Lyra, hanging out with a mare whose voice will haunt my nightmares forever. Honestly, who would’ve thought that the killer of words would spend time with a pony whose voice was an abomination? There are a few little quirks about a few ponies I saw that I must mention. Rose, the traitorous mole, tried to hide a blush as she giggled at seeing me. That was very ridiculous of her; my hotness wasn’t even that high at the time. I can only assume that her giggles were some form of sign to her superiors that their target was in the open. Nothing peculiar happened, but it is terrifying to know that something COULD happen. Applejack gave me a hearty wave when she saw me slunk by her stand. If I didn’t know any better (I don’t think I do this time.) then I’d say she thought she and I had become friends. Maybe I could say that about Big Macintosh, but I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say I was friends with her. It is at this time that I must thank Celestia/Loopity-Spookter (Whichever of them were behind the blessing bestowed upon me earlier in the market.) as I mistakenly locked eyes with Pinkie Pie from across a crowd. I didn’t mean to do it, I honestly didn’t. Booky, you have to believe me. I would NEVER purposely invite her annoyance upon me. My luck kicked in when she didn’t come after me. I can say that I feel lucky to be without a migraine right now. As a final note on the happenings of my venture into the light, I noticed the lesbian was doing something in the sky and she noticed me noticing her. If a word exists that describes what a blush looks like on a furious pony’s face, then I’d like to know it. Never one to invite annoyance upon myself (As previously stated.) I simply nodded a greeting to her before continuing my way home. She’ll warm up to me, if she already hasn’t that is. Once I send her the flowers and tickets she’ll probably be giggling awkwardly whenever she sees me. That brings me to the next topic of conversational rants in a book I have come to call my friend; the filly I found during work last daynight. She’s an odd little thing, all purple and crap. Her mane is the cool part though as it is a deeper shade of purple from her body with light pink tips at the edges. As you’ve probably guessed by your observations, she’s a unicorn. I don’t know if that’s important or not, but I’m sure it will help when I throw her back out onto the street as unicorns are hard to miss. Her mannerisms are really weird as well, it’s almost like she was tailor-made to not be noticed. Not once has she even uttered anything other than a few grunts, eeps (Whatever the fuck those are.), squeaks, and chirps. To be honest, I don’t even think she CAN talk. I’ve asked her for her name almost five times now and I’ve gotten nothing but a blank stare in return. It could be possible that she doesn’t speak Equestrian but that’d be dumb. Plus, even if that was the case, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be capable of spouting off gibberish in whatever savage tongues exist beyond Equestrian. She doesn’t even seem frightened to be around me or anything like that. It’s always the exact same damn stare…well…not always. Sometimes she graces me with a curious look that begs me to tell her what it is I’m doing or what something is that she is looking at. Her eyes are adorable though, that’s how I got persuaded to bring her home with me. I found her curled up inside of a broken wooden crate that was begging to be put into Carty with the other garbage. She was shaking and seemed pretty much scared out of her mind. Seeing as she doesn’t seem homesick or anything, I’m going to conclude that she saw a spider or something. She stopped shivering (She was crying too, which I found out shortly after she looked at me.) when I told her to get out of the crate. I was going to just dump her out and continue on my merry way when I saw those damned eyes of hers. It was like she wasn’t as scared as she was when I found her. Weird, right? She seems to really like me being around her. I’ll continue on that in the next paragraph. Not once since I told her she could stay with me until the morrow (Which has extended until later in this entry where I’ll decide her fate.) has she left my side. She’s always either a few inches beside me or within close viewing distance. I’ve learned this also extends to hearing as she got upset when I tried to use the toilet with the door closed. I had to freaking sing to her to get her to stop sobbing. By the way, that hasn’t ceased yet. Right to my left she is currently resting her head on the arm of my couch watching me write in you. To be honest (I’m being really honest this mevening.), her constant attention isn’t as weird or annoying as I thought it would be. I hardly even notice her until she scares the crap out of me by way of me forgetting she’s there. I have no clue how that’ll work out when I go out on the town. She was asleep when I went out for my date at the unlawful hour of noon. Her issue with having me around is actually kind of severe. You see, I decided to let her take a bath last daynight (As she kind of smelt of bad smells.) and she wouldn’t even stay in the water unless I was in there with her. And when I was sitting beside the tub awkwardly trying to give her privacy? She sat in the water and stared at me. Yep, I can tell you know where this is going. I had to bathe her. Me bathing a filly, I swear I felt like I was in some sort of weird dream. It worked, though, as she stopped staring and actually started to play with the suds in the tub (Don’t judge, Booky, I like bubble baths.) which made me practically sick with the amount of cuteness she displayed whilst doing so. Here’s the problem though; what do I do with her? Do I just leave her in the street? Do I go out to the market and declare that I’ve found somepony’s foal? Do I sell her to Twilight like I do the rest of the crap I find? That’s it! I’ll take her to Twilight! Being a proxy to Mayor Mare must mean that the nerd would know what to do in this situation. Maybe I can just leave the filly at her place and wash my hooves of the affair? Yeah, that’d work. If I can get Twilight to buy trash on a daily basis, then I’m pretty sure I can pawn off a foal to her. It’ll still look really weird having her out there with me in town. Maybe everypony won’t notice? Yeah, that should work. Fate’s usually cruel to me, but I’ve apparently entered a lucky streak and it could work to my favor. Alright, now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s plan my nightday. First I want to head out to Rose’s stand and send a final batch of flowers to the lesbian with the Wonderbolts’ tickets. I’ll be sure to send her something different than posies this time, perhaps some orchids or something like that? After that I might swing by the Apples little set up in the market to grab some snacks before making my way to the required destination for nightday; Twilight’s. My dealings with her will be weird nightday as I’ve got to be able to somehow keep her calm when I reveal that I have in my possession a letter from her to the Princess. I won’t even charge anything for the return of that scroll. I’ll be coy about the love letter; maybe I can milk the identity of the intended target of the letter or of the sender who sent said letter. However, I’ll have to play everything cool as the filly must take priority as I doubt she’d wait outside for me to get done with my business talks with the nerd. This is all going to pay off for me Booky! When I get home daynight, I will be richer, filly-less, probably really tired, and I’ll have taken the next two steps to winning the lesbian’s allegiance. Once I’ve assured her alliance, I can begin to make my move on plans PINKIE-BREAKER and MUFFIN DESTROYERER!