"Dating?" Scootaloo asked, peering up at Diamond. The other filly was laying belly down on the branch overhead, her limbs lifelessly dangling to either side. She gave a dismal sort of snort and a plume of a glittery tail flickered into view out of the corner of Scootaloo's eye. The sort of movement that screamed of irritation and apprehension.
"Y-yeah. I mean, do you know like, um, how, or like, have you dateded anypony ever? It's Hearts n' Hooves day ain't it? That's sorta what this day is about, right?" Diamond asked after a moment of thoughtful silence.
"Naw. I'm to busy crusadin' to worry about that kinda stuff. Why are you asking me about dating? Since when do you care about Hearts and Hooves day?" Scootaloo asked. Silence pitched itself into the air, filling the space between the two before Diamond groaned.
"N-no reason," she offered quickly. Scootaloo rolled her eyes, lifting a lazy hoof into the air to bat at the end of Diamond's sparkly blue tail and tsked.
"Every time a pony lies a fairy drops down dead, Diamond,"
"Then I regret to inform you'se, I am a serial killer,"
"Do you revel in being a mass murderer? Does that make you feel good?"
"Everypony needs a hobby Scoots,"
Scootaloo gave a quiet chuckle and shook her head. She dropped the subject, letting her gaze pierce the gloom of the evening into the starry sky above. There were no stars in sight, at least, not the ones Scootaloo had been scanning the heavens for. A single shooting star. That was all she needed and yet, among the billions above, not a single one moved. She scowled and gave a groan.
"Just, ya know...curious. Ain't like I'm evah gonna get to, so I was kinda wonderin' what it was like, ya know?" came a voice, trickling down into Scootaloo's ears. The orange filly quirked a brow and shot another tsk up towards her companion.
"Aww come on, D, what makes you think you'll never get to date?" Scootaloo asked, watching Diamond shift her position. She pulled herself onto her back and tucked her forelegs behind her head. It was a lofty position, Scootaloo had noticed, that Diamond took when she was frustrated about something. As if staring into the sky with her hooves behind her head helped.
"Have you looked at my face? The 'Disfigured Filly' look ain't exactly trending, you know? Ain't no pony gonna want this. I don't age and other foals is mean. So I figured, you'se is my best source of information, cause I sure ain't gonna ask Bardigan!" Diamond explained. Scootaloo winced, opened her mouth, shut it, and opened it again before she sighed. She knew better than to argue with Diamond when it came to her disfigurement. While a blotch of black or two across her crystal pelt didn't exclude her from dating, it ripped holes in whatever confidence the filly had like paper.
"Well, um, I don't know a lot about it. I mean, I think you take another pony out to eat, or something,"
"That's it? Geez, I go out ta eat all the time. I had lunch outside today in fact!"
"No. It's gotta be at like, a restaurant."
"A restaurant?"
"Yeah. And you gotta pay for their food,"
"So far this sounds horrible,"
"This is what Rainbow Dash said,"
"It sounds like Rainbow Dash is doin' this wrong. What else did she say?"
"Well, then you take them out to do somethin'. Like, bowling or, like a play or something."
"Boring,"
"And then after, you make out,"
"Make out?"
"Yeah. You know, kissing n' stuff,"
"This is sounding worse and worse. So lemme get this straight, I gotta take some pony to a restaurant, pay for their food, go to a boring play and then let them slobber on me? I am inexplicably angry at society. Is this how ponies fall in love? How'd Hearts n' Hooves day get to be popular with baloney like this?! I will never go on a date!"
"Oh yeah? "
"Yeah! Why would I want to do anything like that? That is a nightmare. You are describing a nightmare,"
"Well, don't you have a pony you'd like to spend time with or get to know better?"
"Do you count? Cause I'm pretty sure this isn't a date,"
"No, I mean, like, a colt you think is cute or something?" Scootaloo asked. Diamond made an angry noise and waved a hoof as if to dismiss the question entirely.
"No. I ain't got no pony like that. Colts is stupid and kinda mean. The only colt I even talk to is Quark, and he's a big, dumb know-it-all dork," Diamond snarled, her tail lashing against the tree branch at the thought of the boy in the castle. Scootaloo chuckled. Ahhh, That sounded a tad like Diamond was hiding something. Feelings for a colt perhaps?
"Quark huh? Are you sure you don't like him?" Scootaloo grinned. Diamond scoffed.
"I'd like him to be pushed off a building," Diamond said. Flatly. Scootaloo winced. Okay, Diamond was not trying to hide her affections for Quark. Check.
"R-right, ok, so, no colts then. Yeah, colts are dumb. What about a filly?"
"W-what? What about a filly?"
"Well, you said you don't like colts....so...Diamond...Is there a filly you think is cute?" Scootaloo asked quietly, a grin starting to tug at her lips. Diamond gave another snort and waggle a hoof.
"W-what? No. NO! That's, I mean, that's just, Ha! Hahaha. S'dumb question," Diamond laughed, shaking her head. Scootaloo's grin widened.
"Who is it?! Wait, is it Sweetie Belle? Apple Bloom? Toora Roola? Twist?" Scootaloo asked, watching in delight as Diamond squirmed above her.
"N-no! None of those! Y-you'se is bein' a dork, Scoots. I ain't-"
"Wind Sprint?! Archer?! Aura?! Dinky?! Clover Candy?!" Scootaloo giggled, watching Diamond rock on the branch overhead, nearly tumbling off. She rolled herself over and around, hanging upside down to glare at Scootaloo. Scootaloo smiled sweetly.
"I'm gonna guess," she jeered. Diamond growled.
"I'm gonna kick you'se in the cutie mark,"
"Is it one of the fillies at my School? Is it one in town? Do I know her? Geez, who haven't I named...Is it...?"
"Scootaloo, I'm warnin' you'se..." Diamond growled. Scootaloo frowned and shook her head, knitting her brow.
"That's it then. Who haven't I named...I mean...wait..." she mumbled, glancing up at Diamond. The other girl had a glittery frown and glared at Scootaloo intently. Scootaloo wriggled herself back on the branch and narrowed her eyes.
"Is it...Diamond Tiara?" Scootaloo asked, scanning Diamond's face. The other filly looked ready to pounce, her muscles tensing visibly from her upside-down vantage point. Scootaloo tilted her head. No. Diamond didn't react to that. Which meant there was one other pony she could think of.
"Is it Silver S-" Scootaloo squealed as Diamond pounced, grappling Scootaloo by her shoulders and sending them both spilling out of the tree with angry squeals and gleeful giggles.
"Really?! Silver Spoon?! Seriously?!" Scootaloo cackled, even if her everything ached from the fall she took. Luckily, she landed on Diamond who seemed no worse for wear, but trembling with a frothing rage. She bucked Scootaloo off of her, shifting her hips to press herself up against the base of the tree with her forelegs crossed and sent the devil's glare her way. Scootaloo did not seem to notice, and if she did, she did not care.
"She's the most stuck up brat at School next to Diamond Tiara!" Scootaloo pointed out. Diamond immediately shook her head hard enough to make her ears flap from side to side.
"I-I didn't say it was Silver Spoon!! You'se is just assuming it's her! It's not! I ain't got no crush on nopony! It ain't true at all! Geez, that's stupid. You'se is stupid!" Diamond huffed. Scootaloo shrugged her shoulders.
"You're getting awfully mad about something that isn't true,"
"I'M NOT MAD!!" Diamond snarled, her ears splaying against her skull while the sheer amount of rage contorting her muzzle make Scootaloo think steam was about to burst from her ears. Scootaloo held up her hooves in an effort to calm the raging filly. She'd not expected Diamond to get so upset so suddenly. But maybe it was a sore subject, after all. If Diamond didn't think anyone would ever fall for her, it must have been torture to have a crush on another filly, knowing nothing she could do would ever make it reciprocated.
"Hey, it's cool! Chill! It's no big deal if you like her! Do you want me to introduce you to her? I don't know her all that well, but sh-"
"NO!!" Diamond squeaked, instantly holding her hooves up. Her tone changed from fury to terror in a heartbeat and a radiant tint of crimson climbed onto her muzzle.
"N-no, I mean. That's okay. I mean, s-she's not, like, I don't like, err 'like' her. I, just, sorta think she's neat is all, I guess, you know? She's real smart and I ain't so good with book stuff ya know? So, I mean, I bet she could teach me a whole buncha stuff, maybe, and it would be kinda nice to maybe not feel like I was so dumb all the time," Diamond sputtered like her tongue had suddenly grown too sizes to big. Scootaloo nodded her head slowly. Riiiiight That made sense. Diamond idolized Silverspoon for her intelligence. Then, she paused, frowned, and tilted her head.
"Awww, come on, D, you're not dumb, and, wait a sec, how do you even know about Silver Spoon? I mean, she hangs out with Diamond Tiara all the time, and you sleep during the day when she goes to school. When would you have had the time to see her in the first place?" Scootaloo probed. Diamond rubbed the back of her head with a hoof and chuckled nervously.
"O-oh. Well, um...aheh, um, Sometimes Luna has me help her with patrolling the dream realm. I fit in a lot easier than she does when it comes to sneaking around foal dreams, since I don't talk like I'm a thousand years old, and I'm familiar with the times, so I don't seem out of place," Diamond explained. Scootaloo stared at her for a long few moments and pointed at hoof.
"Wait, last week I had a dream about being in class and I thought I saw you sitting in the back. Was that the real you?! And the other times before that?!" Scootaloo gasped. Diamond gave a squee grin.
"It ain't like I was spyin' on you'se or nothing. I mean, think about it. Every night you'se seen me, you'se ain't had no nightmares that night, now didja?" Diamond asked, a smug grin now dominating her features. Scootaloo paused. In retrospect, she'd not had a single nightmare that she could recall in the past few weeks.
"S-so maybe I noticed her durin' one of you'se dreams, and I just thought she looked neat. She was sittin at the front of the class with her hair all braided and stuff, and these glasses make her look real smart, and ya know, she seems like she'd be fun to hang out with," Diamond sputtered. Scootaloo nodded her head.
"Yeah? Would you take her to a nice restaurant if you could?" she asked. Diamond nodded.
"I guess. Sure. I mean, I bet she'd like somethin' like that. She seems classy. Or rich. Either or," Scootaloo grinned.
"If she wanted to see a play and invited you to come along, would you go with her?" she asked. Again, Diamond nodded her head.
"Yeah, but that's totally boring. I'd rather like, go on an adventure or something! But, if she really really wanted to- Aww, crud." The realization hit her like a truck and Scootaloo had that stupid grin on her face again. Diamond sighed and shook her head.
"This is a dumb conversation and I'm sorry I said anything about it. Hearts n' Hooves day is stupid," The filly groaned. Scootaloo shook her head almost immediately.
"Aww, come on, D, it's not so bad. I'll bet Silverspoon would love to hang out with a cool filly like you. You're a Servant of Shadow, you've got super speed, and you've got a wishing star! Not to mention you're the only crystal filly in town, so that automatically makes you cooler than the other fillies around here! I mean, you fight with Timberwolves for Celestia's sakes! Nopony in town is tougher than you!" Scootaloo cooed and peered around the tree to catch sight of Diamond's pink cheeks and flushed visage. The other filly quickly ducked her face under her blackened wing and huffed softly.
"It don't matter how cool I am, nopony is gonna wanna hang out with a pony who looks like this, Scoots!" Diamond growled. "I'm an inkblot and the whole rest o' the world is in technicolor. I was jus curious, but don't worry bout it. I don't know what ponies is interested in, but...it ain't ugly," The filly squeaked quietly, turning her gaze towards the stars overhead. From the other side of the tree, Scootaloo snarled.
"Diamond. I am going to tell you this, once. You. Are. Not. Ugly." The orange pegasus hissed. Diamond laughed.
"Prove it." She grumbled. Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. Diamond might not have realized it, but that was a challenge she intended to take. She just had to have a chat with a certain silver filly she knew...