//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Hope // by Portmeirion //------------------------------// Dear Diary, Today is the day. I hope. Rainbow Dash sighed – not a tired sigh, nor a contended one, but rather a sigh of mild frustration and great boredom. Her weather patrol duties for the day had ended far earlier than she had expected: all that had needed clearing were a few wisps of high-altitude cirrus and a stray altocumulus, neither of which had taken her more than a minute to dissipate. She expected that the need for further weather control might arise later in the evening, but for the time being she had nothing better to do than lay out on her own personal puff of cloudstuff and take a nap. Except she wasn’t tired. She sighed again. Maybe she was still worried about Fluttershy – yes, that had to be it, now that she thought about it. Worrying about one’s best friend would be enough to keep anypony awake, and boy, did Fluttershy ever give her reason to worry. In retrospect, Fluttershy’s plan was pretty lame. Seriously…drop a few ‘My Little Platypus’ references in casual conversation and just hope Big Macintosh gets them? And even assuming he did get them, that didn’t mean he’d be immediately willing to start an in-depth conversation with her about it. He was a lot like her in many ways: shy, reticent, a pony of few words. The odds of those two having a productive discussion about anything were astronomically low; and the odds of either of them being willing to speak up about a deep, personal secret in casual conversation were pretty much nil. Fluttershy needed help. There was just no getting around it. Sure, Rainbow had helped her already – a little too much, in fact – but it didn’t seem like enough. As much as she feared overstepping herself again, she couldn’t stop her mind from racing in pursuit of another idea. The original plan (helping the two lovebirds find common ground) was solid, but Fluttershy’s method of execution was far too subtle. If she ever wanted to get anywhere with Big Mac, she’d need a little outside assistance. Soon Rainbow was struck with an idea. At first she simply toyed with it, unwilling to actually give it any real consideration; but it quickly became apparent to her that it might actually work. Her mind raged against itself: it was too daring, it was ridiculous, and it might only embarrass Fluttershy further; but if she did nothing, Fluttershy’s plan was almost certainly doomed to failure. At last she came to a decision. It was risky, it would have grievous repercussions for everypony involved, and it would require a great personal sacrifice of her own dignity, but it was the only way she could think to help her friend. It was Fluttershy’s only hope. She just hoped Fluttershy wouldn’t mind. “Y’know, I never did thank you for this whole arrangement, Miss Twilight,” said Big Macintosh, placing a number of thin and colorful books on the library’s checkout counter. “It sure is nice of you to keep this all hushed up and whatnot.” Twilight smiled. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all, Big Macintosh. I understand completely.” Using her magic, she seized a quill and scribbled Big Mac’s checkouts down in the library ledger. “Nopony but me ever sees what’s written in here, anyway. Well, Spike sometimes looks at it, but I don’t suppose he really cares now.” Both ponies laughed. Spike merely rolled his eyes – he was seated on the floor nearby, leaning against a great stack of books with his nose buried in a slender ‘My Little Platypus’ volume. “Okay guys, I get it,” he said impatiently. “Boys and grown-ups liking ‘My Little Platypus’ is funny. Now can you keep it down? I’m trying to read here.” The little dragon’s curiosity had gotten the better of him yesterday: Cheerilee had been so amused by what Twilight had told her that Spike had soon found himself pressing the unicorn for details. Finding out that Big Mac was secretly a ‘My Little Platypus’ fan had been hilarious…until Spike had bothered to actually give one of the books a look, and discovered that he actually enjoyed them himself. He was now about halfway through the fourth installment and still reading voraciously. After their laughter died down, Twilight merely smiled at her assistant. “Don’t worry, Spike,” she said with a quiet giggle. “Your secret is safe with me, too.” “Whatever.” Spike shifted around, turning his back to the two ponies, and continued to read. “He sure seems taken with those books,” Big Mac noted. He eyed the huge stack of texts, all of them ‘My Little Platypus’ titles. “Maybe even more than I am, by the look of it.” “Frankly, I still don’t quite see what the big deal is. I tried reading one of them myself, and, well…I didn’t really get it. I mean, the writing was okay, and there were some funny parts…but it just didn’t really strike me as anything special.” “I guess it just ain’t for everypony, then. Nothin’ wrong with that.” “I guess not,” said Twilight. “But I’m glad you and Spike are enjoying them. They really aren’t bad at all.” “Nnnope,” agreed Big Mac. As Twilight finished the checkout process, his mind began to wander. An expression of uncertainty seized his face as memories from yesterday emerged. At length he spoke again: “Uh, Miss Twilight?” “Yes, Big Macintosh?” She looked back up at him curiously. “Have you been talkin’ to Cheerilee lately?” There was a short silence. “Why yes, actually. She was here just yesterday. Why do you ask?” “Um, you didn’t, uh….” The stallion paused, trying to figure out how to word his question in a non-accusatory manner. “You didn’t…mention this to her, didja? About me likin’ these books, I mean.” Twilight froze. “Uh…what, um…what makes you say that?” It wasn’t a straight answer – indeed, it wasn’t any kind of answer at all. This just made Big Macintosh even more suspicious, and Twilight more uncomfortable. “Well, I had lunch with her yesterday, and she kinda seemed like she knew somethin’. I’m not sayin’ you said anything to her, but…well, you didn’t, didja?” “Uh….” Now Twilight was at a loss for words. She hadn’t meant to tell Cheerilee about Big Mac’s secret hobby – in fact, she thought that the teacher had already known – but there was no way to explain herself without sounding horribly dishonest. She sighed; the truth had to come out, however brutal it may be. “I... – ” At that very moment, the front door of the library opened. Twilight spun her head around, overjoyed to behold the pony whose timely intervention had granted her a reprieve from great embarrassment. The joy left her all at once the moment she saw who had just stepped inside. It was Fluttershy. She stood agape and staring at the two other ponies – or more particularly, at Big Macintosh. He was equally petrified: an understandable reaction, considering he had no fewer than three ‘My Little Platypus’ books close at hoof, and in the process of being checked out. Fluttershy’s eyes now fell on those, and then widened considerably. Silence descended upon the room, broken only once by the sound of Spike turning a page of his book. “Good…good morning, Big Macintosh,” said Fluttershy. “Are those...?” Big Macintosh realized that he was now left with no other choice. If he wanted to escape this encounter with his dignity intact, he would have to do something truly despicable, something he hated more than almost anything: He would have to lie. “They’re, uh…for, um…Apple Bloom.” He grinned like an idiot. Twilight threw a hoof over her face. His wooden tone of voice, his darting eyes, his goofy expression…Big Macintosh was no better at lying than his sister was. There was no way Fluttershy would buy that, and both ponies knew it. “Oh…okay, I guess. It’s really nice of you to get those for her, Big Macintosh.” After a moment’s hesitation, Fluttershy merely smiled at him – a sweet, innocent, and seemingly unsuspecting smile. Wait – had she really bought it? Big Mac knew that she was incredibly sweet and kind, sometimes beyond the point of reason, but surely she was sharper than that. She had to just be playing along, if only for the sake of not hurting his feelings. He looked back to Twilight, trying to gauge the situation by her reaction; oddly, she seemed to be smiling amusedly and stifling a laugh. For the life of him Big Macintosh couldn’t figure out what she found so funny, but he didn’t bother to ask. Instead, he turned back to Fluttershy. “Err, thank you, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, a little awkwardly. “I just like bein’ helpful, is all.” “Well, I think it’s wonderful of you,” Fluttershy continued. “You're always so kind to everypony, especially your family. I think it's sweet." She spoke with greater sincerity than he could ever remember hearing from her before; her tone still bore a slight edge of apprehension, but she sounded much more confident than she did the last time they had spoken. He noticed how lovely her voice sounded now that he could actually hear it. "Aww," Big Mac replied, blushing brightly enough to show even through his red coat. He was unused to such praise. Moreover, there was something about her smile, about the tone of her voice, made him want to take her at face value. Whether or not she believed his cover story was unclear; what was clear was that she meant every word she had said. She really did think he was sweet, and the sentiment meant a great deal to the earth pony. "You're mighty kind yourself," he added, smiling back at her. Fluttershy continued to stare into his eyes, that beautiful smile never leaving her face. After a short, awkward silence, Twilight cleared her throat softly and muttered something about having important but unspecified things to do elsewhere. She levitated Big Macintosh's books to him (which he balanced on his back), and then made her way upstairs, pausing only briefly to pick Spike up in her telekinetic grasp and carry him from the room as well. He read on, unfazed. “Well, um…anything I can do for you, Miss Fluttershy?” Big Mac asked once the two of them were alone in the library lobby. “Oh, no, I don’t suppose there is,” the pegasus replied. She looked again at the books he carried. “Say, Big Macintosh?” “Eeyup?” “Have you ever…um…read one of those books yourself? Or at least looked at them?” For the briefest of moments, the stallion’s eyes shot open wide and his face froze in a look of petrified terror, as though he was staring into the eyes of a cockatrice. In a flash he regained his composure. “Well…sometimes Apple Bloom likes to have somepony read to her to help her get to sleep; Applejack’s usually the one to do that, but sometimes she ain’t available. So I’ve read her these books a time or two.” This much was absolutely true; it was how he had gotten hooked on those books in the first place, so he had no trouble making her buy it. “Ah. That’s nice,” said Fluttershy. “Do you…I mean, does Apple Bloom enjoy them?” “Eeeyup,” he answered. “She sure does. She thinks they’re pretty funny and interestin’…and, well…uh, nice.” “Oh...really?” “Eeeyup.” “Oh…that’s nice.” “Eeeyup.” Silence. Unbeknownst to Big Mac, behind Fluttershy’s unbroken smile was a mind in a state of blind panic. The seemingly lucky coincidence of catching Big Macintosh checking out ‘My Little Platypus’ books had forced her to make drastic adjustments to her plan, and now she felt totally lost. She had spent all morning playing the potential scenario over and over in her mind, but the route their conversation had taken thus far was nothing at all like what she had planned; it wasn’t bad, necessarily, but it had thrown her severely off-balance and now she hadn’t the slightest idea where to go from here. Well…that wasn’t entirely the case. If she could only admit to liking those books herself, she was sure she could coax Big Macintosh into doing the same; and then, as Rainbow Dash said, they’d have something to bond over, a shared interest that might bring them closer together. She tried to say something, but fear stilled her tongue. It was too deep, too dark, too personal a secret to bring out in casual conversation. She just couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t do it. Her smile began to falter. A dreadful, sickening realization was setting in: she had failed again. This was supposed to be her big chance, her shining moment, the culmination of all her waiting and planning and pining and longing…and here she was, no closer to her goal than she had been when she started. It was far, far too late to salvage this attempt; the apprehension was now overwhelming, her shyness utterly crippling. Big Macintosh cast a glance at the front door. “Well…nice talkin’ with you, Miss Fluttershy,” he said, unaware of how devastating these simple words were to the pegasus’s heart. They were a final blow to her plan, a confirmation of failure. The End. “Nice…nice talking with you too,” she answered. Her voice had fallen now into a dead, heartbroken murmur. A moment passed as the stallion paused, noticing the change in her tone. It worried him; she had seemed so sweetly, wonderfully positive mere moments before, and he had loved seeing her so happy. But it seemed rude to push her about the issue. So he simply made for the door. It swung open before he could reach it. “Hey, Twilight! Can you – oh. Whoa.” Rainbow Dash stopped mid-sentence, staring in surprise to find both Big Macintosh and Fluttershy standing just inside the library. For a moment she simply took in the scene, doing her best to discern what was going on: the fact that Big Macintosh was headed for the door, the defeated look on Fluttershy’s face…it all told her that the original plan had clearly fallen through. That settled it: it was time to put her own plan into action. It would need a little modification, and would now be more difficult than ever…but she had to try. She just had to, for Fluttershy’s sake. “Hey, Big Mac. Hey Fluttershy,” she greeted them curtly, and brushing past them made her way over to the staircase. “Hey, Twilight? You up there?” “Rainbow Dash?” came Twilight’s voice from the upper floor. Seconds later, the unicorn came trotting down the stairs. “Is there something I can help you with?” Rainbow gathered her willpower. This wasn’t going to be easy. She glanced over her shoulder to confirm that Fluttershy and Big Mac were both still watching her, then turned back to Twilight and said: “Twilight…can I borrow some ‘My Little Platypus’ books?” “Um…sure you can, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight answered, a little confusedly. “Is there some particular reason…?” “Yeah, there’s a reason! I love those books! They’re almost as awesome as I am!” “Oh. Well, okay then,” replied the unicorn. “Spike has them all right now. I’ll see if I can get him to hand some of them over.” She trotted back up the stairs. Rainbow Dash merely stood and waited, a smug grin plastered across her face. She turned back to see both Fluttershy and Big Macintosh staring wide-eyed at her. The yellow pegasus was blushing furiously to boot. “What?” Dash said. “Can’t a pony read whatever kinds of books she likes?” “Um…I guess so,” said Big Mac. “Dontcha think so, Fluttershy?” “Why, yes,” she agreed. “Yes, I do.” “Good. Now quit staring. You two are giving me the creeps,” said Rainbow. “And you’re making this a lot harder than I thought it would be,” she added under her breath, working to hide a blush of her own. Fluttershy had better appreciate this. Soon Twilight reappeared, carrying a small stack of books in her magical grasp. “I managed to get a few of them. He’s already finished reading these.” “Thanks, Twi!” said cyan pegasus, smiling once again. She tucked a few books under each foreleg and took flight, lightly winging her way over to the door. She said goodbye to the other two ponies, and moments later she was gone. Silence fell, broken only by Twilight’s hoof-falls as she trotted back up the staircase. Fluttershy and Big Macintosh looked at one another. “Hmmm,” Big Mac hmmmed. “Miss Dash likes those books, too. Wouldn’t have guessed that.” “Me neither,” said Fluttershy. She turned again, looking at the door by which her friend had just exited. Only now did it dawn on her what Rainbow had done: she’d given Fluttershy her best chance yet. The shy pegasus resolved at once to take advantage of it. “Well…I guess I can kind of see why she likes them,” she said. She spoke softly, but she grew more confident with every word. “I – um, we used to read them a lot, when we were fillies, and I always thought they were really funny, and cute and interesting.” She looked at the floor; her voice shrank a little. “And I guess I still do.” “Really?” Fluttershy nodded. “I, er…actually,” Big Macintosh began. “That’s kinda how I feel about ‘em, too.” “Really?” Fluttershy asked, looking quickly up into the stallion’s eyes. Her face brightened considerably, and Big Mac noticed. “Eeeyup,” he continued. “That’s why I always look forward to it when Apple Bloom wants me to read ‘em to her. I sometimes get an even bigger kick out of ‘em than she does.” He laughed – a hearty, genuine laugh. It made Fluttershy’s heart melt. She couldn’t help but laugh herself. “So…um…which ones have you read? To Apple Bloom, I mean.” “Oh, just a few of ‘em. Don’t think I could name ‘em all if you asked me, though. But I remember one particularly: that one with Duckbill and the parachute….” “Oh, you mean ‘Duckbill and the Parachute?’” Fluttershy guessed, instantly naming the book from memory. “Eeyup, that’s the one,” Big Mac confirmed, chuckling lightly. “That one’s my favorite. Made me laugh more than just about anything I’ve ever read.” “I know. That one’s the funniest, I think,” agreed the pegasus. “What about ‘Watermole and the Baby Fox?’ That’s always been my favorite. Have you read that one?” “Nope, can’t say that I have,” he answered. “Actually,” he added, turning his head and reaching around to his back, “I think I just checked that one out. Here it is.” “Oh! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. It’s really sweet.” She paused for a moment, gathering her courage for the next question: “Actually, Big Mac…would you mind if I read it with you? It’s been such a long time…I would love to read it again.” “Sounds fine to me,” he answered, unwittingly sending Fluttershy’s heart soaring. He turned and headed for the door. “And c’mon, I know the perfect spot for readin’. Now, don’t tell nopony, but sometimes, when I’ve finished applebuckin’ for the day, I take one of those books….” Twilight made it back downstairs just in time to hear the tail end of their conversation, and to see Fluttershy following the big red stallion out the library door. A moment later, Rainbow Dash came down the stairs as well and stood at her side. “Thanks for letting me back in through your window,” she said to the unicorn. “You know I can’t be seen flying through Ponyville with those books in my hooves.” “It’s really no problem,” Twilight assured her. “Of course, now Fluttershy and Big Macintosh are both convinced you’re a fan. I doubt this’ll be the last you hear of it.” “I was afraid of that,” said the pegasus, rubbing her face embarrassedly. “Still, looks like the plan worked. Those two are bound to be an item in no time.” She smiled rather softly. “I’m really proud of Fluttershy, y’know. I mean, I know they aren’t even dating yet, but still…it’s a big step for her, just up and making a new friend like that. I’m really happy for her.” “So am I, Rainbow,” Twilight agreed. “I’m happy for both of them.” Dear Diary, I’m so sorry for not writing in you for so long. It’s been almost two whole months now. But I’m okay, everything is just fine. No, that’s not true – things are a lot better than just fine. Things are perfect. “Fluttershy? You done writin’ yet?” “Almost. I just need a few more seconds…if that’s okay, of course.” “O’course it’s okay. Take your time. I know how important this is to ya.” “Thanks, Big Macintosh.” Smiling warmly, she took her pen in her mouth again and returned to her journal. Rainbow Dash was right. Having something to bond over with Big Macintosh was just what we needed. After that…everything else just came easy, somehow. I have to remember to thank her sometime. She and Twilight and Rarity and…oh, all my friends were really helpful. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for them. And I couldn’t be happier with where I am now. She set aside the pen and reviewed the entry: it wasn’t exactly all-conclusive, but she had said everything she wanted to say. She closed her diary and returned it to her saddlebag, which was resting against the apple tree on her left. Also leaning against the tree was Big Macintosh: he lay on his back, head and neck propped up against the trunk, holding a ‘My Little Platypus’ book in his hooves. Fluttershy lay down perpendicular to him, resting her head comfortably on his stomach. Taking his cue, Big Mac opened to the first page of the book and began to read it aloud in his warm, distinctive voice. The pegasus closed her eyes in contentment, letting the words wash over her. This had been their daily routine for almost a month now. She didn’t mind that they had run out of unread books within the first two weeks, and had to resort to re-reading familiar ones; indeed, this just made her feel even more at ease. Familiarity usually did that for her, as did Big Macintosh’s voice. All at once, it struck her how perfect the moment was: the warm sun, the gentle breeze, the softness of the grass, the shade from the apple tree, the smooth, lovely voice of her new coltfriend…it stirred her so deeply she couldn’t help but cry out in joy. “Yay.” “What was that?” Big Mac asked, pausing his reading. “Oh, nothing. Everything’s fine,” she said, snuggling closer and smiling up at him. “Everything’s just perfect.” He smiled back down at her, and continued to read. Fluttershy closed her eyes again. This, she thought…this was a moment that had been worth waiting for. She couldn’t have hoped for anything better. THE END