//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Mareinizer // Story: Club Harmony // by Smoking Gun //------------------------------// Club Harmony Chapter 2: Mareinizer By Smoking Gun 9:15 AM, August 22nd, 2012 Vinyl struggled to hear her own thoughts over the sound of the jackhammers that were hammering away inside her skull inside. As the shades started to slip down her face, she could see Neon sporting a very uneasy smile as he waited for her to respond. “Look, Neon—or whatever, I’m really not ready to deal with this right now. Could you just... I don’t know. Go up the stairs against the wall to my office. The door’s unlocked. Just wait in there until I get back.” Vinyl stumbled off the couch and headed to the door that would lead her through Harmony and into the Le sophistiqué portion of the club. “Wait,” said Neon. “Where are you going?” “To grab some breakfast... and toss it up.” 9:17 AM, August 22nd, 2012 As Vinyl pushed the door to Le sophistiqué open, she found Octavia leaning against a spare counter, holding her mobile up to her ear. “OK, now you take a left,” she spoke into the phone. “Now keep heading down the hall until you hit—oh, you’re there now? Wonderful.” Octavia’s eyes drifted to the side and focused on the approaching DJ. “Sorry Mummy, I have to go. Send Daddy my love!” After blowing some kisses into the phone, the grey mare finally hung up. “What was up? Your Mum need directions or something?” inquired Vinyl. Octavia looked away with a blush. “Yes... she wandered into the cook’s quarters by accident and I had to guide her back to the living room.” Vinyl cracked up with laughter. “Celestia, I love that mare! She’s—urgh!” Vinyl rubbed the side of her head. “A little hungover, Vinyl?” asked Octavia with a smirk. “If by ‘hungover’ you mean ‘hung over a pit of lava and jackhammers,’ then yes,” she said, adjusting her shades. Letting out a little giggle, Octavia led Vinyl over to an empty couch. “So, where’s Mixy-Wixy? I noticed he wasn’t in Harmony,” asked Vinyl with a sly grin. “You just missed him. He went home to rest before his shift this afternoon. And do all of us a favour and never call him that again.” Vinyl laughed for a brief second before stopping suddenly and clutching her head in pain. “So, what’s on your agenda today?” asked Octavia. “Well,” started Vinyl, “I’ve got some jackass in Wubville asking for a job. I sent him up to the office to wait for us. I was kind of hoping you could deal with him for me.” Octavia’s eyes widened in shock. “You sent somepony we don’t know up to our office, unattended?” she gasped. “I don’t know! I’m tired,” groaned Vinyl. Octavia sighed as she pulled Vinyl away with her, heading to the stairs that led to their office. “Honestly Vinyl, if you can’t even keep your own schedule, why do I even let you run this club with me?” “Behind every great mare is an even hotter one, I always say,” said Vinyl as she and Octavia entered the office, closing the door behind them. Glancing around the office, the two found no sign of Neon Lights. Vinyl let out a sigh of relief. “Phew! Hopefully he just gave up and left.” The two heard tapping from the Wubville-side door. “Actually, I’ve been standing here since you left. Turns out the door wasn’t unlocked like you said,” he said with an annoyed tone in his voice. Vinyl stumbled towards the door, closing her eyes and leaning her head against it, groaning as her head settled on the wood. “Look, dude, just come back at like... three-thirty or something. I am really not in the mood to deal with you or anypony right now. So do us both a favour and vamoose. Pretty please?” "... Fine," came a mutter from behind the door. Octavia looked on with chagrin as Neon's hoofsteps moved down the stairs, eventually fading away. Vinyl looked back to find Octavia glaring at her. “Vinyl, that was very unprofessional and just plain rude!” she shouted. “We can’t be expected to be respected if you just disregard appointments like this because you partied too hard the night before.” “Come on, Octy. So far you’ve handled all this ‘work’ stuff better than I have,” said Vinyl as she stumbled away from the door. “You’re right, Vinyl,” growled Octavia with an increasingly angered tone. “In fact, I’ve handled all the ‘work’ so far. Eventually, you’re going to have to take your title as co-owner more seriously.” Vinyl wobbled onto the glass portion of the office, facing away from Octavia. "Can I take, title," slurred Vinyl, "seriously more tomorrow? I'm gonna... I just need..." The fatigue finally set in, causing Vinyl to collapse onto the glass overlooking Harmony, lying spread-eagle over the two-way glass. Octavia rolled her eyes as she pulled her nice coat off the rack near the door. “If you need me—you always do—I’ll be with my friends at the spa. You know, the friends who know how to carry themselves in the morning!” Pulling the door open, Octavia looked back. The unconscious unicorn was still lying flat over the glass that shed light onto their creation, drool running out of her mouth and onto the freshly cleaned floor. It would almost be poetic if her rear wasn’t pointed directly at me. 12:21 PM, August 22nd, 2012 Octavia moaned in ecstasy as she lay flat on the towel-covered board, a goofy smile plastered across her face. “Oh, Celestia! That’s feels amazing,” she moaned. “Of course it does, darling. You’ve needed this more than anypony,” said Rarity, who was lying on the board next to her. “These are the finest masseuses in all of Equestria. Especially this fine gentlecolt,” she said, gesturing to the stallion working on her back. “It’s no trouble at all, ma’am,” said the stallion working on Rarity. “I’ve been doing this for a number of years.” “Really?” asked Rarity. “I’d love to hear more about it over dinner—” “Rarity!” shouted Twilight, who was sitting in the hot tub next to the massage tables. “You’ll have to excuse my friend,” she said to the stallion. “She can be a bit forward sometimes.” “No problem, ma’am,” he chuckled, never taking his hooves of Rarity. “Honestly, Twilight, you’re no fun,” pouted Rarity. Octavia continued to moan as her masseuse worked her magic. “Thank you again, girls. You have no idea how badly I’ve needed this.” “I think we have a vague idea,” said Rarity. “You’ve opened up a rather large establishment, and in just over a week it’s become the talk of the town. Even ponies from Canterlot are talking about Club Harmony. It must be stressful.” Octavia only moaned in response. “I went through a similar situation when I opened Carousel Boutique,” continued Rarity. “It’s quite a daunting task opening up a new business... especially when you have to do most of the heavy lifting,” she said, giving Octavia a knowing smile. Octavia returned a confused look. “I beg your pardon?” Rarity cleared her throat with a cough. “Vinyl, dear.” “Oh, right.” Octavia sank further into the table as the massage continued. “I admit, working with Vinyl is akin to working with goldfish suffering from ADHD, but she’s still my friend and business partner.” Twilight moved herself around the tub so that she was closest to Octavia. “Speaking of which, there’s something that Rarity and I have been meaning to ask you.” Octavia glanced up at the purple unicorn. “Yes?” she asked with trepidation. “Well... we’re sure that Vinyl Scratch is a very nice pony. But it’s, well...” Octavia raised her head towards Twilight. “It’s what?” “We’re just curious, dear,” interjected Rarity. “You have to admit, it’s rather... unorthodox that a classical musician would be such dear friends with DJ.” The grey pony returned a blank expression. “And?” “Well... we were just wondering how the two of you became friends. I’m sure it’s a lovely story,” said Rarity with a supportive smile. “You make it sound romantic,” said Octavia, rolling her eyes. “Even if Vinyl and I were together, the last thing I would call it would be ‘romantic.’” Rarity and Twilight shared a confused expression. “What do you mean by that?” asked Twilight. “Let’s just say our story isn’t as ‘lovely’ as you might think. And if it’s all right with you girls, I’d rather not go into detail. All you need to know is that Vinyl and I are both hardworking ponies who just so happen to be friends. It doesn’t matter what their tastes are or how unprofessional they can be... or how hard they kick you in bed,” she muttered, looking away. Twilight and Rarity’s widened in shock. “Excuse me, darling, but did you just say that you and Vinyl share a bed?” whispered Rarity. Octavia’s eyes widened, almost as though she had just realized what she had said. “It’s not like that! We couldn’t afford to live on our own or to have a two-bedroom apartment, so we have to share the one bedroom we have.” “Couldn’t you have just flipped a bit?” asked Twilight. “We did... but I dropped it and it bounced out the window. Neither of us felt like going down to get it so we just agreed to share the bed.” Rarity started to snicker. “So that’s where the rumors are coming from.” As Twilight and Rarity shared a giggle, Octavia blushed and looked away. Suddenly her massage didn’t feel as soothing as before. 1:34 PM, August 22nd, 2012 Vinyl Scratch’s eyes finally started to open. The left half of her vision was blurry; during her slumber, she had rolled into her own puddle of drool. Rolling onto her back, she found a cyan pegasus with a rainbow-coloured mane standing over her. Suddenly a pink earth pony filled her field of vision. “‘Sup, Scratchy?” she said excitedly. Vinyl screamed, jumping onto all fours. Rainbow and Pinkie broke out into laughter. “Nice scream, Vinyl. You’ll have to Auto-Tune it for your next song,” said Rainbow Dash. “Yeah, yeah, shut up,” groaned Vinyl as she wiped the drool from her face. “Aww! Too much drool for you?” cooed Rainbow. “Hang on and we’ll go get your binky.” Vinyl socked the pegasus in the foreleg. “That binky’s gonna go straight up your flank if you don’t shut up.” She began to stand up, legs struggling to support the rest of her body. “What brings you two to my little slice of heaven?” “The drinks,” said Pinkie. “Duh!” Vinyl furiously shook her head, recalibrating her senses. “Oh yeah, I did promise you guys a couple of drinks. Come on, I’ll see what we have left from last night.” Heading down the steps, Vinyl and her friends trotted over to the bar, which was currently unoccupied. The cleaners had cleared out all of the unconscious ponies from the previous night. Vinyl trotted behind the counter, and Pinkie and Rainbow sat on the stools on the other side. “So what can I get you guys?” asked Vinyl. “Cider! Lots of it!” shouted Rainbow. “Don’t you think it’s a bit early for cider?” Vinyl pointed out. “Dude, it’s never too early for cider! You should have it with your fruit loops,” said Rainbow with a completely serious grin. Vinyl reluctantly poured her a huge mug of cider, which Rainbow snatched and immediately started to drink from. “What about you, Pinkie?” asked the DJ. “I’ll just have some Applejack Daniels, please,” asked Pinkie with a sweet smile. Reaching onto the shelf behind her, Vinyl pulled down a full bottle of Applejack Daniels, popping the top off and placing it in front of Pinkie. “Wait! Almost forgot.” Vinyl reached under the bar and pulled out a large, transparent silly straw and gently placed it down the neck of the bottle. “Thanks, Scratchy,” said Pinkie before the Applejack Daniels traveled through the loops of her straw and into her mouth. “So, how’s biz?” asked Rainbow as she put down her nearly empty mug of cider. “Pretty awesome,” Vinyl said. “We had our first duet last night. We don’t have another one scheduled yet, but we’ll have to do another at some point I think.” Rainbow’s eyebrows arched. “Why do you have to wait till your next one?” “Well, we’ve both been pretty busy. Paperwork, quotes, all that good stuff,” said Vinyl, beginning to polish some wine glasses. “Really? Cause it looked like you were ‘busy’ being spread-eagle on the glass floor of your office,” remarked Rainbow with a smirk. “By the way, what’s up with that thing anyway?” “Seemed like a good idea at the time,” said Vinyl. “And by the way, I was sleeping because I was working late last night. What kind of image would I be putting out there if I couldn’t stay up long enough to party?” “A fair point, ma’am,” said Rainbow as she finished off her cider. Vinyl promptly refilled it. “Couldn’t you just have Octavia do it?” asked Rainbow before downing her cider. “Yeah,” added Pinkie. “She seems super smart, like Twilight. Why don’t you just ask her to do it?” Vinyl looked away. “Well... she kind of does already. It’s been rough on her.” “Can I ask you something?” asked Pinkie. Vinyl just shrugged in response. “How did you two become friends? Vinyl gave Ponyville’s other official party pony a confused look. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about making friends. I just wanna know how you met.” Pinkie lowered herself out of Vinyl’s line of sight and suddenly appeared right next to the unicorn. “I bet you two met on the mean streets of Canterlot—” “We were both raised here,” corrected the DJ. “You had a club that was just about to open—” “No I didn’t.” “And she started working for you.” “We opened up this one together. She’s never worked for me.” “And over time, the two of you fell in love and—” “Stop. Stop right there!” said Vinyl, shoving her hoof into Pinkie’s mouth. “I already told you guys and everypony else that Octy and I aren’t dating. Why does everypony think that?” “I don’t know,” said Rainbow. “Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you told us that you two sleep in the same bed.” “She dropped the bucking bit!” Rainbow and Pinkie laughed while Vinyl leaned down on the counter. “Relax, Scratchy,” said Pinkie as she appeared on the other side of the bar. “We’re just teasing you.” “Yeah. It looks like you could use a laugh anyway,” said Rainbow as she placed her yet-again-empty mug of cider in front of Vinyl. The DJ didn’t budge at the sight of the mug. “Actually, between the two of us, Octy’s the one that needs a break.” Rainbow and Pinkie rotated their eyes to each other, sharing confused expressions. Vinyl continued. “I’ve been letting her do all the hard work while I’ve been partying and giving away free drinks.” “You speak as though this is an issue,” remarked Rainbow as she not-so-subtly pushed her empty mug closer and closer to Vinyl. Vinyl jumped over the counter and trotted away from her friends. “Help yourself.” “Wait!” shouted Pinkie. “Where you going, Scratchy?” “Sorry, guys. I’ve got some paperwork to do.” 3:14 PM, August 22nd, 2012 Octavia, looking rather beautiful after her trip to the spa, entered Club Harmony, sharing friendly smiles and nods with her employees as she headed into Le sophistiqué and up the stairs to her office. She pushed the door and stopped at the sound of hooves tapping away at a keyboard. Looking at the opposite side of the desk, she saw Vinyl staring directly at the monitor. The unicorn didn’t respond to Octavia’s entrance. “Updating your ‘Hot or Not’ page?” asked Octavia as she hung up her coat. “Nah. I’ll do that tonight. I’m just figuring some of expenses for last night.” Octavia froze. She turned back to Vinyl, who hadn’t taken her eyes away from the screen. The grey mare suddenly exploded with laughter. “Y—you almost had me going... bwhahahahah!” Finally turning her eyes away from the screen, Vinyl stared blankly at the earth pony, showing no emotion whatsoever. Octavia leaned closer, seeing that Vinyl was drained of energy. She had bags under her eyes and her mane was even more frazzled than it usually was. “Oh my goodness. You’re serious, aren’t you?” Vinyl didn’t respond, instead turning her attention back to the screen as she typed away. Octavia trotted over to Vinyl’s side of the desk and looked at her screen. In a spreadsheet, Vinyl had several figures spread across the document. Next to her keyboard were her trademark shades, as well as several pieces of paper with mathematical formulas on them. “You were out, so I thought I’d take care of all this stuff.” Looking back at Octavia, she saw that the cellist had a look of utter disbelief on her face. “I’m sorry about not pulling as much weight as I could,” she said with an apologetic tone. Octavia examined the loose papers and smiled. “I’ll say this much, this has to be the first time in years I’ve seen you drawn on a piece of paper without it resulting in ludicrously large genitals.” “Well, the second,” said Vinyl, nodding towards the declaration of ethics the two of them had written. Octavia looked away but still smiled. “Thank you, Vinyl. It’s greatly appreciated.” Vinyl returned the smile. “Vinyl,” continued Octavia, “I’m sorry about—” “Hey!” interrupted Vinyl. “Come here.” Vinyl pulled her friend in close for a warm hug and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before letting her go. “Love you, Tavi.” “Love you too, Vinyl.” Octavia went back over to her side of the desk, turning on her computer to start work. For a good few minutes, all the two shared were content smiles, happy to just be in each other’s company. Two loud taps on the door to Le sophistiqué ended the silence, drawing the two attention of the two ponies. “Come in!” shouted Octavia. Through the door came Mix, pulling behind him a large coffee-making machine that had been rigged so that he could easily carry it up the stairs thanks to its railing attachments that allowed it to be moved up the stairs. “Afternoon, ladies,” he said, closing the door behind him. Octavia’s face lit up. “Mix! What brings you up here?” she asked with a smile plastered over her face. Vinyl quietly chuckled to herself. “Well, I heard you guys were up here working, so I thought I’d bring up some coffee for you,” he said as he turned the machine on. “Mix, you’re a rose among thorns,” remarked Octavia as she got off her chair. “Among other things...” muttered Vinyl with a smirk. The cellist examined the machine. “So, what specials do you have for us?” “Well, the girls downstairs told me we have two specials today: Zimbabwe and Kenya,” said Mix as he got the machine ready. “Oh, I’ll have a Zimbabwe latte,” Octavia said happily. “I’ll have Kenya cappuccino, I guess,” said Vinyl, typing away. “Coming right up, ladies.” Mix started working the machine, and Octavia turned around and trotted back to her chair. As the machine processed the coffee beans, Mix examined the grey mare. “Octavia?” he asked. “Yes?” she responded as she sat down. “Excuse me for asking, but did you by any chance visit the spa today?” he asked nervously. Octavia’s cheeks turned a bright pink, and Vinyl poked her eyes over her monitor. “Well... as—as a matter of fact, I did,” she stuttered. “Why do you ask?” Vinyl noted that the earth pony started playing with her mane. “Well... I mean, it—it’s just that you look nice. And I recognize the lavender scent. They use it a lot at that place.” He nervously looked back at the machine, trying not to let his blush show. “You look very nice today is all.” Vinyl rolled her eyes and shook her head. Octavia, on the other hoof, had a small smile as she got back to work. “Thank you for noticing, Mix. My girlfriends offered to take me out today, and that’s where we went.” Vinyl leaned over her monitor with a huge smirk on her face. “She was feeling, you know, not fresh down there.” Octavia’s eyes widened, and her cheeks lit up with rage. Meanwhile, Mix broke out into a fit of giggles. “Oh, it’s one of those spas!” he said as he clutched his chest in laughter. While Mix kept laughing, Octavia shot Vinyl a death glare. Vinyl just smiled in return, made a heart shape with her hooves, and mouthed the words “love you.” Hearing the machine go off, Mix pulled out Octavia’s latte and placed the cup next to her keyboard. “Votre café, madame,” he said with a poor attempt at a French accent. “Merci,” she responded, causing the two to laugh as Mix started making Vinyl’s drink. Vinyl made a gesture of putting her hoof down her throat before sitting down. As the sound of the machine flooded the room, Vinyl quickly spoke up. “Hey, Mix! Let me ask you something. Last night, Octy asked me if me and her—” “She and I,” corrected Octavia. “—could swap running our sections of the club. What do you make of that?” “You mean that you would take over Le sophistiqué?” he asked for clarification. “Yeah,” Vinyl laughed. “Could you imagine her in Wubville? What would that even look like?” Mix glanced at Octavia with a cocky smile. “The image of a backwards cap and a “Buck the Police” T-shirt comes to mind.” Vinyl’s laughter became even harder as Mix joined in. Despite the joke at her expense, Octavia couldn’t help but chuckle along. “Maybe so, but could you imagine Vinyl in Le sophistiqué?” she asked jokingly. “Oh, I know I can.” Vinyl leaned back in her chair and placed her hooves behind her head as she drifted into her fantasy... The Le sophistiqué in Vinyl’s mind looked like a different place entirely, almost as though she had never paid attention to the actual layout. There was a countless number of fireplaces, every waiter had a pencil-thin mustache, and there was a large circular table that occupied the vast majority of the floor. Several refined ponies sat around the table. All of the stallions wore monocles, and oversized decadent jewelry hung from the ears of the mares. Vinyl’s mane and tail were neatly groomed, and she wore a top hat and a monocle. A martini hovered in front of her. All eyes at the table were on her. “So I said, ‘I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini,’” quipped Vinyl, sending the table into roars of laughter. The DJ produced a remote control and displayed it to the ponies around her. “If all of you will indulge me, I’ve prepared some alternative music for us this evening.” She pressed the only button on the remote. Speakers lowered from the ceiling and blasted dubstep at full volume, shattering the monocles and glasses of everypony at the table, leaving their manes frazzled. Vinyl remained unaffected by the vibrations. “Good lord!” shouted Prince Blueblood. “What are these epic beats?” “They’re called wubs,” said Vinyl. “I beg your pardon?” “I create them in my free time on my computer machine,” said the DJ, sipping her martini. “Remarkable,” said Blueblood. “Classic Vinyl,” toasted Fleur de Lis. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, Vinyl turned around to see a sophisticated-looking stallion with a blue mustache. “Excuse me, Miss Scratch. My name is Fancypants. It would be my immense honor to be your consort. I shall shower you with riches and pleasure you the way a mare should be pleasured.” “Pardon me, good sir,” said a rather dapper-looking Hired Muscle who had shown up out of thin air. “Miss Scratch,” he continued. “I am hung like a horse and would make a much more suitable consort.” Fancypants sighed. “Very well. We shall settle this as gentlecolts will settle everything from this day forward.” The two stallions shook their hooves as Prince Blueblood raised his martini glass. “Let the sexual tournament begin!” While the crowd erupted into applause and cheers, Vinyl smiled and silently nodded. Back in reality, Octavia and Mix watched in horror as Vinyl sat with forelegs wrapped around herself as she made sloppy kissing sounds, much like last night. “Why do all of her fantasies end this way?” Octavia groaned. Octavia and Mix spun around as the coffee machine started beeping. The unicorn checked the device. He turned around with an apologetic smile on his face. “Sorry. I was so quick to get it up here that I forgot to refill the beans,” he said as he headed out the door. “I’ll be right back!” “Take your time,” Octavia called as he closed the door. The cellist trotted over to Vinyl—who was still lost in her fantasy—and socked her in the foreleg with as much strength as she could muster, bringing the unicorn back to reality. “Must you act like a jackass wherever we find ourselves?” she asked with frustration pouring out of her mouth. “Oh, lighten up, fuddy duddy. Can’t you see I’m helping you?” “How?!” she shouted. “You’re teasing me in front of him! You’re making me look—” “Normal?” interjected the DJ. “You’re his boss, but you like him, right?” Octavia blushed and rubbed the left foreleg, struggling to make eye contact. Vinyl continued, “You and I tease each other all the time. We’re buddies. But you’re his boss. If he sees that you’re cool and that you can take a joke from me, then he’s gonna ease up.” Octavia froze, shock and enlightenment on her face. “What horrifies me is the fact that what you just said makes perfect sense.” “Exactly!” said Vinyl as she hopped off her chair. “Stick with me kiddo, and I’ll help you through this. Can you dig it?” “I don’t know, Vinyl... Maybe it would be safer to—” “Safe shmafe!” interrupted the DJ. “Was it safe to open up a club with our own money?” “My parents’ money,” corrected the cellist. “The question remains, Miss Philharmonica: Can you, in fact, dig it?” she asked, poking Octavia’s upper chest with her hoof. Octavia smiled in response. “Yes, I can dig it.” Octavia glanced back at the door to Le sophistiqué with a weary expression. “I’m just worried this going to end horribly.” “Every relationship does,” said Vinyl in an oddly reassuring tone. “Every relationship is destined to end. If you’re lucky, it’ll end with one of you dead in the ground.” Vinyl was now sporting the most out-of-place smile Octavia had ever seen. “You’re a poet, Vinyl,” said the deadpan earth pony. “Well, at least he’s not a mareinizer,” said Vinyl as she sat back down. The sound of tapping at the keyboard filled the room as Octavia stood silent. “I beg your pardon?” Vinyl looked back with disbelief. "Isn’t that self-explanatory? There was a song about it.” “You’ll have to elaborate,” said Octavia blankly. Vinyl sighed as she pulled up music library on her computer. Surfing through her music list, she clicked the song named “Mareinizer.” “I’ll show you,” she said as the music started to play. She rose from her seat and stretched out her muscles. Then the singing started... Superstar, where you from? How’s it going? I know you, got a clue what you’re doing Octavia shook her head. “Vinyl, don’t even—” You can play the noob to all the other chicks out here But I know what you are What you are baby A small smile grew across the cellist’s face as Vinyl moved into the chorus, now swaying from side to side. Mareinizer Mare-Mareinizer You’re a Mareinizer Oh Mareinizer OhYou’re a Mareinizer filly “Vinyl...” started Octavia as a tear crept out of her eye. He teeth were showing as her grin widened. You, you, you are You, you, you are Mareinizer, Mareinizer Mareinizer (Mareinizer) With the last part of that verse, Vinyl winked and pointed straight at Octavia, whose grin was now reaching goofy proportions despite her efforts to contain the laughter. Launching into the chorus, Vinyl slid up onto her hind legs and started dancing across the floor, shaking her hips from side to side and shuffling her hooves. Colt don’t touch that rump I-I know just just What you a-a-are Octavia finally gave in, rolling onto her back and breaking out into a fit of laughter, watching Vinyl shake her flank in her direction. Boy don’t touch that rump I-I know just just What you a-a-are The cellist laughed more loudly, now pointing at the dancing DJ. Vinyl froze in place for the next few lines. (You) You got me going (You) You’re “Oh so charming” (You) But I can do it (You) You Mareinizer Vinyl pointed straight at Octavia, who was now openly crying while on the ground. Boy don’t touch that rump I-I know just just What you a-a-are Vinyl twirled in place. Boy don’t touch that rump I-I know just What you... Vinyl’s twirl came to a halt, leaving her facing the now-open door to Wubville. Standing in the doorway was Neon Lights, grinning at the DJ. “Don’t stop now, Kelly,” he said. “If you stop dancing, we won’t be able to save the rec center.” Vinyl’s face quickly turned red, frozen in shock, horror, and shame, sweat dripping from her brow. Octavia, on the other hoof, was still cackling. “Y—you were laughing because of him?” asked Vinyl as she slowly turned around. Octavia’s only response was more laughter, now with her eyes open and a hoof pointing straight at Vinyl’s red face. The DJ lowered herself back onto all fours and cleared her throat. “I take it you’re here for your interview?” she asked, still pink in the face. “Well... I was,” he said with a smirk, “but I’m quite comfortable just standing here and enjoying the show.” Octavia struggled back to her feet, still laughing, tears dripping down her face. The giddy earth pony pulled over a spare chair and placed it on one end of the table while Vinyl magically moved the other two chairs to the opposite side. “P—please, have a s—ehehehehe,” giggled Octavia. The two club owners dragged themselves over to their chairs and sat down. Vinyl crossed her forelegs and pouted while Octavia tried and failed to keep a straight face, letting her tears drip onto the table. “Let’s get this over with,” mumbled the embarrassed DJ. Suddenly, Mix trotted in, levitating a bag of coffee beans beside him. “Hey guys. So Vinyl, you wanted the...” Mix trailed off, noticing Neon. “Can I get you anything, sir?” he asked with a smile. “Nah, thanks, mate,” he said. “I’m good.” After putting on Vinyl’s cappuccino, Mix turned to notice Octavia crying, struggling to keep her face straight. “What happened? Somepony die?” asked Mix with a confused expression. “Yes,” croaked the cellist before bursting into laughter once again. “Vinyl’s dignity!” Vinyl pouted while Octavia continued laughing. Neon quietly snickered to himself. “Could you shut up so we can get this over with?” asked the frustrated DJ. “O—okay. Hehehe. So, Neon,” said the cellist in an attempt to change the subject. “Tell us, what position are you applying for?” “Well,” began Neon. “I found the ad for the lighting specialist in Wubville. I applied and here I am.” “Just one second,” said Vinyl. “That accent—are you from Trottingham?” Neon nodded in response. Octavia’s face lit up. “Oh, that’s wonderful. I have family from Trottingham. When did you move to Ponyville?” “Just a fortnight ago.” Vinyl snickered at the word “fortnight.” Neon continued, “I’ve been looking for work since I arrived, and I found out about this place after it opened.” “As interesting as that is,” said a slightly pink-in-the-face Vinyl, “I’d like to get this interview done quickly.” “Sure thing, mate,” said Neon with a shrug. Octavia spoke first. “Firstly, I’d like to know about your previous—” “Actually, let me ask you something first,” interjected Vinyl. “What’s your full name?” The other ponies shared the same confused expression. “Neon Lights,” he said, very matter-of-fact. “You’re hired!” she shouted. “What?” cried Neon and Octavia together. Vinyl turned to Octavia. “Just think about it. I’m ‘Vinyl Scratch’; I’m the DJ.” She pointed at Mix. “He’s ‘Mix ‘n’ Match’; he’s the bartender. You see where I’m going?” she asked with a wide smirk. Octavia stared blankly at the co-owner. “Can you dig it?” the DJ added. “Enough, Vinyl.” Octavia turned back to Neon. “You’ll have to excuse my partner; she can be a bit of a silly pony every now and then.” “I was serious,” said Vinyl with a straight face. “He’s gonna be working with me, so I figure it would be better for me to just see him in action. It sounds like he can do the job.” She turned to Neon. “That sound fair?” Neon shrugged in response. “Octy?” asked Vinyl with a smile. Octavia sighed and threw her hooves in the air. “Whatever. I’m tired.” “Awesome!” declared Vinyl. “What do you wanna do now?” Still in her chair, Octavia moved herself over to her computer and pulled up a website with all the local movie screening times. “Well, I’ve reconsidered your offer about seeing a movie—” “‘Batmare’?” asked the hopeful DJ. “No,” she said flatly. “But I saw a trailer on the television for a dance movie called ‘Trot Up: Revolution.’” “Oh, Celestia...” muttered Vinyl. The cellist arched an eyebrow. “You’ve seen it already?” “No, but I’ve done my research on this one.” Vinyl stood up and danced a little jig. “No wonder ‘Occupy Canterlot’ didn’t work! They didn’t dance enought!” Mix snickered. “Maybe ‘Occupy Canterlot’ was actually the world’s laziest flash mob.” Octavia tried to hold back her giggles. “Celestia, that’s so mean and wrong.” “Then why are you laughing?” he asked, smirking. Octavia looked away and smiled with a blush. Vinyl and Neon rolled their eyes at the spectacle. Vinyl jumped off her chair. “You know what? Let’s all just go now. It’ll give us something besides me to laugh at.” “That sounds nice,” said Octavia as she got off her chair, walking over the coat rack and grabbing her coat. The earth pony looked back at Mix, who started to close up his coffee machine. “Would you two like to join us?” asked the cellist. Mix and Neon glanced at each other before smiling back at Octavia. “If you don’t mind me taking my break now,” said Mix. “We don’t get busy until the evening, anyway,” said Vinyl. Neon got up from his seat and adjusted his tie. “I guess it would be rude for me to decline an invitation from my new employers.” Mix trotted over to Vinyl as she put on her shades. “Sorry, Vinyl. I just realized I forgot to give you your coffee.” “Forget about it. I’ll grab something at the movie.” Vinyl and Neon headed out the Wubville door and descended the stairs, letting the door close behind them. Mix trotted to the door and held it open for Octavia. The cellist smiled and playfully brushed her tail against him as she walked past. 3:45 PM, August 22nd, 2012 Eating al fresco at the cafe next to Club Harmony was a greasy-looking pony in a cheap suit. He peered over his copy of the day’s edition of the Foal Free Press to see Octavia, Vinyl, Mix, and Neon exit through the back door and trot down the street. Keeping his eyes on them, the greasy pony pulled out his mobile and dialed. “Hey, Maxx. It’s Trotta—” “I know it’s you, you simpleton!” shouted the obviously modulated voice through the phone. “What progress have you made with Club Harmony?” “Well, I talked to Philharmonica and she wouldn’t budge. They think they’ve got nothing to be afraid of.” “They’re young,” murmured Maxx. “They’ll learn.” “What should we do now? You told me to talk to the cellist and I made no progress. What do I do now?” Trotter’s eyes followed the group of ponies, his vision now focused on the white unicorn, before the voice on the other end of the line spoke up. “Appeal to her better half.” Next:Is It Witchcraft?!