The search was still ongoing when I left the Throne Room and the castle, but not nearly as passionately as when I’d first witnessed it. Word must have spread throughout the hive about what had happened, which would explain the lack of enthusiasm, but the drones would likely keep searching until given permission to stop, which obviously no one had thought to do. Were they simply trying to make sure they hadn’t overlooked anything? Had it been Chrysalis’ orders to keep it up?
I made a point of ignoring the search teams as I trotted aimlessly through whatever corridor presented itself. Initially, I wanted to call off the search, finding it obviously pointless, and admittedly annoying, until I remembered that I’d stopped being First Commander, if only temporarily. Did I still have the authorization to command them anything? Did they know already that they were going to be answering to Psycho until further notice? Even if they didn’t, they would soon! They would know I’d been reduced to… what, exactly? Chrysalis hadn’t said anything, and I’d been so worked up that I’d forgotten to ask! Was I at least a sub-commander? A low-level grunt? Or had I become entirely rankless?
On the bright side - if one could call it that - the drones were still too busy with the search to pay much attention to me. I could seethe and grumble over my disgrace all I wanted and I’d probably be left alone!
My wandering brought me into one of the many battle-drill chambers that were scattered throughout the hive. From the looks of it, a training session had just ended and noling had cleaned up yet. That might have been one of Thorax’s duties for the day, I thought and immediately tried to push it out of my mind, but the thought was persistent.
Well, a training session being finished or not, there were still some props and dummies relatively undamaged by the hurricane of soldiers that had passed through and wreaked havoc almost everywhere they went, destroyed almost everything they touched. And I was itching to leave my contribution!
So I did.
A salvo of roaring, hissing, and punching and kicking at the props ended with pulverized training equipment, a few puddles of my venom on the floor where it was leaking from the training dummies I’d ripped apart, and, thankfully, a somewhat less turbulent state of mind to put to work on fulfilling the promise I’d given to Chrysalis.
Having shaken the debris out of my leg holes, I returned to my aimless wandering through the hallways, once again deliberately ignoring the search teams everywhere. How had they not given up looking for Thorax by now? This was getting ridiculous!
Actually, I finally asked myself, were they even looking for Thorax? I had assumed so, but now that I thought about it, I faintly remembered Chrysalis say something about the search being over with undesirable results. What, then, were they trying to find? Had the first search been merely for an undisguised Thorax, and this one a repeat with possible disguises kept in mind? It made no sense; they would have looked for anything out of the ordinary and suggestive of a disguise the first time! That was standard procedure with missing changelings, not that it was required very often! So if not for Thorax himself, what were they still looking for? Evidence of his guilt? They didn’t need it by now! The route he might have taken on his way out? Possibly; Chrysalis would want to know about any more security breaches. Evidence that I, or someling else, had helped him? No matter how much I disliked that possibility, I couldn’t dismiss it!
Suddenly I realized I was standing on the hive’s outer surface. How had I failed to notice that I’d left the tunnels and gone outside? I was a soldier, darn it; I was supposed to be aware of my surroundings! For that matter, why hadn’t the guards that should have been watching the tunnels that opened to the outside stopped me? Hadn’t they seen me? Had they all been sent to participate in the search?
At least the airborne sentries were fully vigilant for once. Every single one of them had noticed me and were hovering close, ready to intercept me if I showed signs of intention of shapeshifting, or taking to the air, or whatever else they deemed suspicious.
I rolled my eyes and waved at them dismissively, then headed for the nearest tunnel opening.
Back inside the hive, I forced myself to stop pouting and pull myself together. If I kept going like this, things could end up as bad for me as they were guaranteed to for Thorax! I would do better to sit in one place where I could think of what to do undisturbed and undistracted! But where would I find such a place with the whole hive in an uproar?
My sleeping burrow was the only place I could think of, and it was close enough.
Once I got there, I realized how weird it felt to be there at this time of day. Normally, I only came here to sleep, with the occasional exception of having to pull Thorax aside to lecture him or to rant about something he had - or hadn’t - done, rather than lash out at him in front of witnesses and potentially give them ideas for the next pestering episode. If I’d known that yesterday was going to be the last time…
Enough of that, Pharynx, I scolded myself again. I was to capture him and make sure he got punished for what he’d done, not to defend him again! He’d committed an unforgivable act of insubordination and the whole hive knew it! Even if Chrysalis were to forgive him - and she would die sooner than do anything of the sort - the swarm wouldn’t! If I failed to bring Thorax back, they would do it, one way or another, with or without authorization to leave the hive! And if they got a hold of him… I didn’t think even Chrysalis could do such intense damage as a swarm of changeling soldiers bent on vengeance!
He deserved it, I kept telling myself. He’d betrayed the hive, and I’d never held any mercy or understanding for traitors!
He deserved the worst punishment Chrysalis could come up with! He’d betrayed the hive; there was no forgiving him!
He was a traitor... He deserved punishment...
But he was also my brother, the last surviving member of our brood beside myself. Not even our dead brother and sisters had cared to keep him safe from trouble that he’d always had a talent for getting into due to his soft nature; the three of them had pretty much given up on him since day one, and I’d been the only one trying to toughen him up and keeping him safe whenever I could! I still didn’t understand the instinct that had led me to stubbornly and persistently keep doing that all these years, but the more I tried to convince myself that capturing Thorax and dragging him to his punishment would be a good thing, the louder that instinct screamed to help him get out of harm’s way again!
But if I acted on that instinct, I would become a traitor myself! How could I turn my back to the only life I’d ever known, the home I’d sworn to protect with my life?
If only there was a way to reconcile the two, to protect Thorax by making Chrysalis and the hive think he wasn’t a threat anymore! It would be a thin and risky line to walk, a task that would stretch my skills and talents to the limit, but if I could pull it off…
No, I told myself, it would never work! They’d figure it out and stop me!
Unless I made sure to be ten times as careful as I normally was...
No, Pharynx! Don’t betray the hive yourself! It's not worth it!
But I couldn’t abandon my brother, not after everything I’d done to keep him alive and safe... traitor or not, he was still my brother...
I could do this... I knew I could... What use of my experience and cunning if I couldn’t pull this off? What right did I have to call myself a changeling if I failed to execute a deception plan, at least to give myself more time to investigate the situation and think things through and make a definite decision what to do once I learned more, even if that decision turned out to be the fulfillment of my orders rather than helping Thorax? It would be insanely risky, given who I’d be working against, but I’d be damned if a First Commander, even if stripped of rank as it may be, couldn’t handle the challenge!
If I pulled it off, Thorax might finally live the kind of life he’d always wanted, or if he died without finding what he was looking for, at the very least he’d be spared of whatever awaited him upon getting captured.
And if I failed?
If I failed, at least he would have gotten a glimpse of freedom, of life without everything he’d endured in the hive. Would it be enough for him? It would have to be; it was more than he would have gotten from anyling else!
Finally fully alert and focused like a soldier should be, I began planning my approach.