Rarity swirled sugar into her tea and watched the crystals dissolve into the brown liquid. After a few pensive moments, she spoke.
“When I was a young filly, I learned my destiny was a rock. I was frustrated, for unicorn magic is known to act on its own to guide you, and it brought me to the plainest, dullest thing I’ve ever seen. But then, the rock opened up to reveal the most gorgeous gems inside. And that was that, my path set out before me.
“Long after that, I met Twilight. You see—well, to be clear, it would certainly be improper to compare Twilight the unicorn to that rock’s dull exterior, but the difference between the way she was then to what she is now—Twilight the alicorn, Twilight the princess, Twilight the ruler of Equestria—is just as stark. She used to be such a shy filly, not in the same way as Fluttershy, but she was so worried about her relationships and her place in the world. It was, in a word, adorable. We had a nice cozy relationship going on, and I thought I had everything I wanted from it, but time went on and she grew into her destiny. I felt… sad, for reasons I couldn’t place.
“Then we faced Tirek and the others in the throne room. We were defeated and those beasts had Twilight captured, ready to destroy her in mere seconds. I thought I had nothing left, but then my horn lit up. I couldn’t let Twilight die. She was my friend, she was my princess. And there was something else, not a term, but more of a feeling. Without thinking, my magic lashed out and threw something at the villains: a rock.
“Now, you might say there wasn’t much else to throw, but you don’t understand unicorn magic. Why did it reach for a rock? Why not fire a blast of energy? Why not cast an illusion? No, my horn’s choice of a rock was trying to tell me something. And by choosing that rock, I saved Twilight. One day, I thought back to that unnamed feeling, and I realized with a jolt what it was: love."
Rarity threw her legs in the air. "Alas, I realized that far too late! She exposed more of her shining inner self to the world, and now the world’s taking her away to rule in Canterlot! I took our relationship for granted, and now there's nothing left but regrets!”
Rarity paused to take a sip of her tea. “Please tell me you understand what I mean.”
Maud looked at her with an unreadable expression. She and Rarity sat inside a purple tent at a table with blue cloth, with a sign, “Madame Maud’s Rock-Based Romance Advice,” above them. The earth pony waited a moment, then said, “So your destiny is a rock, and you think Twilight is that rock?”
Rarity laughed nervously. “Well, when you put it like that, it does all sound silly, doesn’t it? But, well, you are the expert after all." She put her hooves on the table and leaned in. "Is it actually too late for us?”
“Generally I only handle romance between rocks, to be clear.”
Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh. So that’s what it meant.” She paused, then started getting up. “Well, I’m sorry for taking up your time—”
Maud raised a hoof. “Don’t worry, this is well within my expertise.” She leaned forward. “I know exactly how to help you.”
Maud and Rarity sat in the bushes, watching Twilight read a book on a picnic blanket.
“Good, we caught Twilight before the other girls and I were meeting with her,” said Rarity in a hushed tone. “It’s quite fortuitous that she scheduled a meetup on Hearts and Hooves Day. It’s an omen, I tell you.”
Maud blinked. “The Pie Family has evidence that Hearts and Hooves Day isn’t the proper name for this holiday.”
“Oh, what is it?”
The earth pony reached behind her and pulled out a hoof-sized dull gray rock. “It’s Rocks and Hooves Day.”
Rarity took the rock with her magic, raising an eyebrow. “Maud… is that true?”
Maud paused. “Maybe.”
“Perhaps not the best trivia to tell Twilight, then.” Rarity turned over the rock, searching for anything special. “Alright, so we’re here, and you gave me this rock. What do I do?”
“Simply explain to her how you already found her exterior interesting, but then you saw her cleavage, and now you’re partially melting from love. Metaphorically.”
Rarity frowned. “Er, hmm, I don’t know. Something about referring to a lady’s cleavage feels oddly improper.”
Maud blinked.
“But I will take that into consideration. I’ll just add my own flourishes. Now, this rock?”
“Your destiny is tied to rocks. If you hold this rock when you talk to Twilight, it will guide you.”
“Hmm. Interesting.”
Rarity sat looking at the rock, then glanced at Twilight, then decided to take a moment to examine the very interesting cloud formations above.
Maud blinked.
Rarity pointed accusingly. “Don’t give me that look, Maud! I just feel that perhaps we’re going about this all the wrong way. Dating isn’t meant to be a big complicated confession of love. It’s casual!” She stomped for emphasis. “Unlike what romance stories depict, dating is how you learn if someone’s right for you, and it isn’t something life-changing. As such, I can do this at any time, and I’d prefer not to bother Twilight when she’s so busy, so…”
Rarity got up and attempted to walk past Maud, but the earth pony reached out, spun Rarity around, and then shoved her out of the bush. With a yelp, she skidded to a stop halfway to the object of her affections. Thankfully Twilight was too engrossed in her book to notice. With gritted teeth and wide eyes, Rarity turned to Maud, who had the same expression as ever. She clearly wouldn’t accept her fleeing.
Rarity squeaked then carefully walked up to the reading alicorn. After a pause, she cleared her throat and said, “Twilight, dear?”
The princess looked up from her book with a smile, then did a double take and shot to her feet. “Rarity! You’re here! I mean, it’s good to see you.”
Rarity rubbed a front leg against the other. “Yes, it’s good to see you too. I was just in the area, you see.”
Twilight adopted a similar pose, rubbing her legs and looking more at the hills behind Rarity than her. Rarity in turn looked at Twilight—or rather, the fascinating trees behind her.
They waited a few seconds, then looked each other in the eyes.
“Rarity, I—”
“Twilight, I—”
They stopped.
“Go ahead, Rarity,” said Twilight with a smile.
Rarity gave a slight laugh. “Yes, well, I… Twilight, I’ve felt—I feel… I think perhaps you and I should…”
The unicorn glanced around, hoping for some inspiration. She noticed a weight in her magic and looked to the rock she was still carrying. She said under her breath, “Well, rock. Guide me.”
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and emptied her mind. At this moment, this nexus of fate, her horn would show her the way. She felt a flux in her magic. Destiny wanted her to…
“Darling!” Rarity shouted as she launched the rock like a cannonball. It crashed into Twilight’s side, making a loud cracking sound.
Twilight groaned as she slowly sank, her face twisted in pain.
Rarity opened her eyes and gasped when she saw her beloved on the ground. “No, Twilight! I didn’t mean…” She sat next to Twilight and pulled her onto her side to use as a pillow.
She glanced at the rock, now split precisely in two. Beneath the dull exterior were brilliant crystals, like the rock she saw so long ago, but this time, the crystals in either half were distinct colors. One was pure white, and the other a regal purple.
Rarity’s eyes sparkled, and she looked to the alicorn with new determination. “Twilight Sparkle, I’m sorry that it took all this to say it, but you’re smart, beautiful, courageous, and over time, I’ve grown all the more fond of you. With you moving to Canterlot, and us seeing each other little more than once a month, I was afraid I’d lose you forever, so I’d like to say this now. Twilight, will you go out with me?”
There, it was out. Now to wait for the response. Rarity gazed into her princess’s eyes expectantly.
Twilight breathed raggedly for a few seconds, but she settled enough to weeze out a simple, “Yes.”
Yes.
Rarity’s eyes widened and she shot to her feet, making Twilight’s head fall to the ground with a grunt. “Yes? You said yes? You said yes!”
Rarity pranced in place with a wide grin. She looked back to the bushes, where Maud stood proud. The earth pony nodded then backed away out of sight.
Rarity turned back to her new special somepony. “Well, now that we’re marefriend and marefriend, what shall we do? It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, after all! It will be tough to reserve a dinner date.”
“Rarity,” Twilight said with a strained voice.
“Ooh! Is that perhaps what you wanted to talk to me about? Were you about to ask me out? Splendid! Then you must have something planned already!”
“Rarity.”
“Knowing you, it must be a spectacular location, with candles floating on the water, and—what is it, darling?”
“I think you broke some ribs.”