Chapter 7
Despite the late hour, Spike remained bundled up in his blankets. Twilight had consoled him to the best of her ability, but the feeling of helplessness that had racked him throughout the evening refused to dissipate. He hadn't gone to sleep until very late. He came out of his sleep when his ears were struck by an appalling din which made him jump from his little basket. Confused, he dragged his feet toward the approximate direction of the noise, eager to identify its source. His feet led him outside the tree house, where the discovery of a legion of royal guards was like a slap that finished waking him up. It looked like the entire army of Celestia had invaded Ponyville. Spike noticed that they were all looking in the same direction, spears pointing at something. Each of them had the determined gaze of a soldier ready to act the second they were given an order.
The little dragon, guided by his curiosity, made his way between the soldiers to find out what put them in such a state. The first thing he discovered was his startled-looking friend Twilight. Then he spotted the other elements of harmony and the two Princesses of Equestria with the same looks. Finally, he turned his gaze in the same direction as them and eventually imitated them. Surrounded by sharp spears, Pinkie Pie, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch were accompanied by the huge, bipedal, furless creature which helped him yesterday.
The silence was total now. The three ponies and the Everfree Forest thing were frozen with anxiety, the blades of steel practically caressing their skin. No one seemed to dare to move, as if the slightest sneeze would cause a massacre. Kenneth, hand tightly gripping the handle of his guitar casing, slowly turned his gaze to the one who had put him in this situation.
“Pinkie…” he whispered angrily. “Do something.”
And she did.
“Hi everypony! This is the terrible monster you are so afraid of.”
“Not helping!”
Realizing that the situation was not going to be easily resolved, Vinyl pushed Octavia with her muzzle to encourage her to act. At first reluctant, she understood that she really had no other choice if she wanted to have a chance to calm things down. Octavia brought the attention on her, clearly intimidated by the two princesses to which she bowed at.
“Your majesties. I understand your concern and why you are… pointing blades at us, but I assure you, this being is reasonable and has no ill intentions.”
The princesses looked again at the strange creature in a red and black plaid shirt, like studying an animal who could jump on them at any moment. The silence seemed even heavier than before. Octavia trembled at the thought of having made things worse. Finally, the white alicorn asked the guards to lower their spears.
“Thanks Shub-niggurath…” sighed Kenneth.
The Princess of the Sun walked towards him and asked, solenly.
“Who are you, unknown creature?“
“The name is Kenneth Marshall, and I’m a human being.”
All the ponies present looked at each other, each silently asking his neighbor if that meant anything to them. No positive response arose. Without waiting, Celestia asked him blankly what connection he had with the other creature.
“Which one? The pile of shit from yesterday?”
The whole assembly seemed shocked by his words.
“Please watch your language,” asked the white alicorn, keeping her noble stature.
“Or what?”
She stammered a little, unsure of her answer.
“I could... arrest you.”
“Arrest me for a dirty word? What kind of dictatorship are you running?”
The guards looked at her with a mix of surprise and curiosity that froze the white alicorn with uncertainty. Luna saw that her sister was in bad shape and, not supporting this, called Kenneth in a voice full of noble anger.
“Beware, human creature! You are talking to the rulers of all Equestria. She is the Princess of the Day, Celestia, and I am Luna, Princess of the Night.“
Dozens of questions popped in the musician’s mind, but the dark princess didn’t give him time to ask one. In a voice as powerful as if it had come out of a loudspeaker, which caused a draft so strong that it almost fell to the ground, she declared.
“THEREFORE WE DEMAND YOUR RESPECT!”
Kenneth's eyes widened with bewilderment, unlike the audience around him. Some ponies, including Rainbow Dash and Applejack, even seemed to be delighted with what they had just seen. Kenneth saw the haughty look the princess had towards him. He relaxed before putting his checkered shirt back on. The unicorn of the night raised an eyebrow. Kenneth cleared his throat, inhaled gently, deeply.
Then, provoking a gust as strong as a hurricane, he screamed at her.
It was the dark princess’ time to seem astonished, the mane frozen, as if her perpetual wind had stopped working. She looked back at the annoyed human, who simply declared.
“You scream at me, I scream at you. Period.”
Everypony was shocked, their mouths agape with fear and astonishment. After a disturbing silence, Twilight screamed too.
“How dare you yell in the face of a princess?!”
“What? You expected me to be yelled at without reacting? Well, surprise motherfucker.”
The ponies reacted again with disgust and repugnance. Rarity even fainted. Seeing this, Kenneth turned to Pinkie.
“Is she okay?”
“Don’t worry. It’s normal. See? She’s already waking up.”
Celestia approached Kenneth, looking more determined and intimidating than ever.
“Listen, Kenneth Marshall. If you want to be welcomed here, you’ll have to be polite and show more respect to us. Am I clear?”
“I’m out.”
“Thank you. We appreciwait what?”
Under Celestia’s shocked gaze, Kenneth walked away. Octavia asked him where he was going.
“I’m getting back to my cave, don’t you see?”
Pinkie called him with insistence.
“Wait! You can’t go. We didn’t celebrate your arrival.”
“Stop this, Pinkie.” Exclaimed Rainbow Dash, exasperated. "This thing doesn't want to be friends or play or eat cupcakes with you. Let him go. The further it is, the better. ”
“He’s just shy and he hasn’t seen…”
“Pinkie Pie, listen to your friend,” Luna interrupted. “We’ll deal with that human thing ourselves in time.”
“Hum, excuse me…”
Everypony turned toward the human, shocked by his use of the first polite sentence since his arrival. He was rubbing his neck, his face torn by some kind of hesitation, like facing a difficult moral dilemma. He ended up pronouncing, with a lot of hesitation.
“Did you say… cupcakes?”
There was a moment of surprised silence. Then pinkie Pie’s eyes twinkled like christmas decorations.
In less than an half-hour, all the elements of harmony, the two princesses, Octavia and Vinyl, and even Spike ended up around a table filled with nice plates, a bunch of pastries, and tea. The guards were surrounding it and keeping the rest of Ponyville’s population at a good distance. Despite what happened before, or maybe because of it, everypony was looking at this strange reunion with visible curiosity. Especially a green pony, with a lyra as her cutie mark, who was doing everything she could to look over those between her and the reunion. They all wanted to see the famous human, sitting at the end of the table, and if he would do something scandalous again.
Octavia and Vinyl seemed the least comfortable of the group. They were clearly not used to being in such royal company. And at the complete opposite was Kenneth, who had his feet on the table, not caring at all about the angry eyes of Rarity. Even with the colorful table, the ambiance was tense, like a western showdown. Nopony knew who would start the hostilities. In the end, it was the only smiling pony of the group who talked first.
“So, what will be your choice?” asked Pinkie to Kenneth, full of enthusiasm.
“Do you have Chocolate and Hazelnuts?”
“Sure we do! Just a moment.”
Pinkie got away, leaving the group with its horrible silence. The two princesses were looking at Kenneth with wariness while the others observed the scene. Celestia ended up talking to the relaxed human.
“So, Kenneth Marshall…”
“Just Kenneth is fine.”
“Alright, Kenneth, as we were saying before, what connection do you have with the creature which attacked the Apple farm yesterday?”
“None at all. I wasn’t even on this planet a month ago.”
Everypony seemed surprised.
“What do you mean?” asked Twilight.
“Long story short, I was on my planet, shook the wrong hand, and ended up on yours.”
“You’ll have to give us more detail if you want us to understand,” explained Fluttershy. “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you.”
Kenneth sighed, showing resignation, while Pinkie appeared with his cupcake. He started his explanation.
“First thing first. Where I’m from, colorful talking horses like you don’t exist, or just in fairy tales, cartoons for little girls, or a german Power Metal official video.”
“We are ponies!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, sure. As I said, animals like you don’t speak on my world. We are the only sentient beings. One day I met a strange guy who wanted to make a deal with me. He said it was to be part of his studio or something like that, but when I shook his hand, there was this weird light and sound show and I woke up in this freaking forest.”
“Wait,” interrupted Applejack, “are you trying to tell us you’re some kind of extra-equestrian? Are you kidding us?”
Kenneth seemed flustered, and answered her by pointing his cupcake at her face.
“Hey! You asked me to tell my story.” He ate a bite of his pastry and concluded, the mouth full, “cho don’ complai’ ab-BY AZATHOTH! This is the best cupcake ever!”
“Yippee! Cupcake : One, Grumpy Human : Zero!” Exclaimed Pinkie, bouncing like on springs.
Kenneth ended up his story under the surprised, shocked, or amazed gazes of the ponies present.
“What happened to this Janning person?”
“No idea, but you can be sure if I find him I’ll make him regret ever trying to fuck with me.”
“By Celestia!” screamed Rarity, smashing the table. “Watch your language!”
Kenneth replied with perfect serenity.
“Or you can leave the table.”
Rarity looked offended while Twilight started talking.
“Anyway, you don’t know anything about the clay monster you fought. Right?”
“If you don’t. There’s no chance I do.”
Twilight scrunched her face, apparently disappointed to hear that.
“We appreciate your help. I mean, I don’t intend to talk for everypony, but it’s nice that you helped Spike and Rarity.”
The ponies were a bit embarrassed, because it was true. Kenneth noticed the purple kid, a bit intimidated by all this situation, then asked him.
“You’re the dragon from yesterday, right?”
Spike confirmed with a shivering voice, uncertain of what the human wanted with him.
“Are you okay?” asked Kenneth.
The ponies were all a bit surprised by this mark of consideration. Spike looked at Twilight for a sign indicating what to do, but she was too surprised to react. The dragon simply answered.
“Yeah… I guess. My neck still hurts a bit though.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll pass. Trust me.”
Spike was shocked when he realized that this sentence implied some passed experience..
“Somepony tried to strangle you before?”
“More than one, actually.”
“Not surprising at all,” whispered Rarity.
Rainbow Dash interrupted them to ask, “Anyway, when will you return to your planet or wherever you come from? You’re kind of a troublemaker here.”
“Dashie! That’s not a nice thing to say,” declared Pinkie. “He’ll start thinking he’s not welcome here.”
“Forget about it, Pinkie,” answered Kenneth. “I’ve been called worse. And it’s not like they have a choice. I don’t know how to return there.”
All the ponies around the table had a look of surprise, not certain of how to react to this revelation. The only who dared ask something was Applejack.
“Wait, you mean you ain’t got a way to get home?”
“In short, yeap.”
Everypony was stunned. Kenneth simply ate another piece of cupcake.
“You seem pretty… calm about that,” noted Luna. ”Aren’t you scared? Or sad? Or even angry?”
Kenneth shrugged.
“I lived in New York. Nothing to feel homesick about.”
“Well, I’m sure Princess Celestia can find a way to help you. Couldn’t she?” the purple pony suggested with optimism.
The white alicorn looked surprised by this affirmation and reacted a bit baffled.
“Twilight, I appreciate your trust in my abilities but this… I didn’t even know that other worlds existed a minute ago. I wouldn't even know where to start.”
The ponies looked with curiosity at Kenneth, who didn’t seem to care at all. Contrary to Pinky who looked sad.
“Ooooh… I’m so sorry, Kenneth,” she said while embracing him, which made the human growl.
“Damn it, Pinkie! You know that hurts.”
“Oopsie. I hope I didn’t make things worse. Let me check.”
Kenneth tried to stop her, but she was too fast for him. Her small and pink hooves lifted his white tank-top for a few seconds, just enough to show a bunch of bruises, attesting the pain he was feeling. Their revelation made one particular fashionista widen her eyes.
Kenneth simply put his tank-top back to normal and explained, quite angrily, that humans don’t undress like this in public. Pinkie seemed surprised, but understood she had done something inappropriate and begged pardon without waiting, which seemed to calm the young man. All this reminded Octavia of what they had promised to Kenneth to make him come with them.
“We indeed promised you a visit to the hospital to check your injuries.”
“You did that?” said Rainbow Dash, kinda surprised.
“He got this wounds by saving Spike and Rarity,” reminded Pinkie. “That’s the least we can do, don’t you think?”
The ponies around the table didn’t know how to answer. Only Luna managed to admit she was right. Even if he was rude, risking his life for one of her subjects made him worthy of some treatment.
“Iä Cthulhu! Finally!” declared Kenneth with visible relief. “Let’s deal with this so I can get back to my cave.”
“No way!” declared the element of laughter. “You can’t go back to the cold and clammy forest. You’ll be sick and lonely in no time.”
“I survived almost two weeks without a problem. And what else could I do?”
“I’m sure somepony will gladly give you a room in their house.”
The confirmation was fast delivered.
“Are you kidding?!” asked Rainbow Dash, astonished. “Who do you think will accept somepony like him in his home?”
“Hey!” reacted Kenneth. “That’s almost racist!”
“I’m sorry, Pinkie,” continued Princess Celestia, “but your friend has a point. Even if he wanted to stay, I’m not sure that the other ponies would be comfortable with him around.”
“But he’s not a bad human,” insisted Pinkie. “And he play music really well. Come on Kenneth, play something for the audience!”
“I’m not some dog who does tricks.”
“I agree,” confirmed Luna. “A dog would have more class.”
Kenneth and the entire assembly were shocked by this sentence from the Princess of the Night, including Celestia herself. The human noted the satisfied and noble smile of the dark alicorn, which annoyed him a lot.
“What my sister means,” intervened Celestia, “is that if you want to fit in our society, you’ll have to be much more polite and considerate. And maybe apologize to some ponies. Tolerance and peace are the main values of Equestria. Am I clear enough?”
Kenneth stood frozen for a moment, facing the noble and straight face of the royal alicorn, before looking back at Pinkie.
“You know what? You’re right. I’ll play something. And just for the princesses here, I’m gonna play my favorite song.”
Pinkie jumped on the spot like a filly before opening its hearth’s warming eve presents, while Kenneth took his cherry red guitar out of its case under the curious gaze of everypony, especially the two princesses.
The human breathed in, rose his arm high, closed his eyes, his face showing a deep concentration. And then, like a gun bullet, a terrible cacophony started.
The solo of the beginning was so noisy that some ponies had to cover their ears, while others were so scared that they couldn’t do anything else than stay frozen, eyes wide. While the infernal melody was playing, a gust strong as a storm made everypony’s mane fly. The astonishment reached its climax when the singer started the lyrics.
Arrogance, violence, world in disarray
Dealing with insanity every fuckin' day
I hate the life, hate the fame, hate the fuckin' scene
Pissing match of egos, fuck their vanity
Ain't got the time, I don't want anything from you
Feeding on my tolerance is all you fuckin' do
No looking back, no regrets, no apologies
All of a sudden, Kenneth jumped on the table with his guitar and sang even louder, under the scared looks of his public. Even the princesses, usually so dignified, couldn’t hide their fear. Their eyes seemed to go even wider listening to each word spat by the human. Everypony moved away when Kenneth started pounding on the table with his feet, smashing the pastries and crushing the plates.
When he finished his song, Kenneth looked around him and felt quite satisfied. The princesses seemed frightened, like all the other ponies, and ready to scream with anger. Kenneth didn’t care. He put his guitar back in its case and took it, walking away from the table. But right when he was about to pass the frightened guards, he felt something pulling him by the shirt. When he looked behind him, he found Pinkie Pie, looking at him with her usual innocent eyes.
“Where do you think you are going? You still need to go to the hospital.”
Kenneth couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“What’s wrong with you? You saw what I played and how the others are. No one liked it.”
“I do.”
“You do?” asked Kenneth.
“YOU DO?!” asked everypony else.
“Yes. And Octavia and Vinyl too.”
The entire assembly turned its gazes towards the said ponies. Octavia seemed embarrassed while Vinyl simply confirmed Pinkie’s declaration with a nod.
“Well…” announced Octavia. “It’s brutal, sure, but I felt some kind of melody. A kind I’ve never heard ever. It is… interesting.”
Pinkie seemed then to have an epiphany.
“Then Kenneth could stay in their house!”
“What?!” screamed Twilight. “He scared everypony and you still want him to stay here?!”
“But Octavia and Vinyl live out of town, where their music can’t disturb anyone. It would be perfect.
Celestia seemed ready to declare something, but was interrupted by her sister who asked to talk with her in private. They moved away from the assembly and talked for a minute before coming back, Celestia declaring to everypony, “Alright, we agree to let Kenneth Marshall live in Ponyville.”
All the ponies present were about to react with consternation, but the princess of the sun finished her explanation.
“I know it can be surprising. He is indeed strange… and rude… and brutal… However, we prefer to have him here, under the watch of the elements of harmony, than roaming in the forest without supervision. At least here, Twilight Sparkle and her friends can have an eye on him. As long as he stays reasonable from now on and stay in touch with them, we agree to let him live in Ponyville with Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch. Is that okay with you, Kenneth Marshall?”
Kenneth thought for a moment. He couldn’t understand how they could propose this after what he did, but thinking about a potential warm place and meal, and the pain in his ribcage, made him declare as a confirmation.
“Still better than my last place I guess.”
“Fine,” finished Luna. “Then Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch will accompany you to the hospital, then their house.”
Said ponies accepted the demand of their princess without hesitation. They were glad to have an opportunity to talk about music with the human, so they guided him away from the group, not looking back.
When the human and the musicians were far away, the elements of harmony looked at the princess, searching for an explanation. However, the white alicorn simply told them to go back to their routine. None of them seemed willing to do it. How could they after such events? But they obeyed. The only one they asked to stay to talk to was Twilight. The purple unicorn asked Spike to go with Rarity for now. He obeyed too. When they were alone, the guards staying at a good distance by command of Luna, Celestia asked her student about the famous Canticle of Truth.
“It is almost repaired,” she answered. “It should be finished by tomorrow I think.”
“Make sure to tell us what you discover as soon as possible,” demanded Luna.
Twilight nodded, but she seemed uncertain about something.
“Princesses,” she asked, “do you think he is, as we thought, linked to the creatures described in the Canticle? He is from another world, after all.”
The princesses looked at each other before turning to Twilight.
“That’s another reason we let him stay in Ponyville. If we or you discover anything suspicious about him, we’ll know where he is exactly and be ready to intervene. Do you understand?”
Twilight confirmed. After that, the princesses and their armies got away from Ponyville, leaving a very troubled unicorn with a lot of questions. This situation had become a lot more complicated than she imagined.
Octavia’s house was a huge one compared to most of those in Ponyville. While Vinyl was moving some furniture to make space, Octavia finished presenting it to its new resident.
“I know the fact that the decoration is different depending on whose side of the room you’re on is a bit surprising, but I hope you’ll be fine here.”
“I don’t mind,” answered Kenneth.
“Good. Do you have any questions?”
“Just one.”
“Go on.”
“Have you considered whipping off this spider web?”
Octavia looked at the ceiling and indeed found one. Kenneth was so tall that he couldn’t miss it. He could almost touch the ceiling with his head. She knew it would be a problem the moment he passed the door, as he was forced to lower his head, but she couldn’t do anything about that, and Kenneth said he would eventually get used to it. Before she could apologize about the spiderweb, someone knocked at the door. Octavia opened it and found Rarity and Spike. After the usual greetings, Octavia asked why they were here.
“I would like to talk to Kenneth please.”
“”Hum… Sure,” answered the musician pony, surprised by that after what happened sooner.
Kenneth seemed as surprised as her. He passed cautiously through the door and closed it behind him.
“What can I do for you?” he asked.
Rarity stood speechless, like she was searching for what to say exactly. Finally, she asked plainly.
“Did the doctors take care of your injuries?”
“It was strange for all of us, but they did. They said I would be alright in a few days if I stay quiet. And if Pinkie stops poking me.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” continued Rarity, not really sincere.
After another moment of awkward silence, the white unicorn ended up saying, with a bit of anger in her voice, “Listen, I think you are rude and violent, a real beast…”
“Thanks you.”
“It’s not…” The unicorn sighed with frustration and continued as calmly as possible. “What I meant to say is that, despite that, you saved me and Spike from that creature. You got hurt to help us and I thank you for it.”
Kenneth was really surprised by this turn of event.
“You are… welcome,” he answered, uncertain of how to consider this. “And I’m glad that you’re both okay.”
Rarity expressed her appreciation about his concern, but didn’t wait before turning and walking away, telling Spike to follow her. However, to her surprise, she didn’t hear Spike’s footsteps behind her. She turned her head to look at him and discovered that he was still in front of the human, looking up at him.
“How did you not get scared?” he asked, surprising both Rarity and Kenneth. “When you faced this monster, how did you manage to stay brave? Me… I was terrorized. I felt so weak...”
Rarity felt sad hearing the young dragon with such a trembling voice, face looking down under the weight of some innocent shame.
“It’s natural for you to be weak. You’re a kid,” declared Kenneth, making Spike and Rarity look at him with surprise. “But there’s nothing wrong with that. You won’t stay like this forever. Put some effort in and you’ll get stronger. Enough to face a pile of mud like that thing yesterday.”
Rarity seemed surprised by the human’s speech and Spike’s eyes went wide.
“You think I can?” asked the little dragon.
“Of course. You’re a fucking dragon.”
Rarity growled like a lioness before commanding the child to come with her out of patience. Spike obeyed automatically, but while they were moving away, the little dragon couldn’t resist glancing behind him, looking one last time at the huge human being, his mind thinking over and over about what he had said to him.