The evening meal passed with nopony saying much of anything to her. When they could, they avoided even looking in her direction. It was halfway through dinner when she finally realized what was going on. The family understood that this was no fault of hers, but at the same time couldn't help but be resentful of the invader of Candy's body. In order not to unjustly vent their frustration on her they chose to just not talk to her. It was a shunning, but it was not done with malicious intent. They'd inevitably be forced to speak with her, but for now they wanted to avoid the ghost in the room.
She asked if she could be excused to go to Candy's room immediately after she finished eating and was granted permission. Before she could head upstairs, Ma Apple informed her she was still going to help with the morning chores, as well as that they'd be visiting Marble Pie and then Luster Dawn in the morning. She already knew all this, since she'd been listening to all the discussions, but didn't make any complaint being told. Instead, she simply nodded her agreement and went off to Candy's room.
As had quickly become her habit, she spent her first minutes in the room simply looking over the drawings of those that had previously inhabited Candy. On closer inspection of the second drawing in the line, she did indeed spot stripes on the pony's flank, marking his mixed heritage. She took time to give the muffin drawing her harshest glare. It made her angry that it didn't seem fazed by her glare. Realizing she was being irrational, she tried in vain to bring her currently foalish emotions back into logical step. It was interesting that while the drawing was a little unsettling, it did not produce the same intense effects that seeing faces on actual muffins had. She turned back to the half zebra drawing; he had been distressed by the muffin drawing. Did he know something that the rest of them did not? There was unfortunately no way of finding out. Maybe Candy would know, but she was unavailable at the moment.
She wasn't that tired, and felt the need to tire herself out a little. She sat and practiced levitating around Candy's library books for a little while. It rapidly became less challenging as she practiced, and she now felt confident enough that she could move things of average weight around at a short range, with it perhaps even getting to where it may become second nature to do so if she remained in this body long enough-- it certainly seemed easier than having to do the same tasks with her hooves and mouth, and not even that tiring. However, moving more than one thing at a time was an entirely different proposition. She found attempting to do this extremely straining, and that the objects rarely went where she wanted them to, no matter how much effort she put into keeping them on course. She'd seen more average unicorns like Rarity manipulate dozens of objects at once, but now that she thought about it that really wasn't a common sight among unicorns. She now found herself reassessing the magical talent of some unicorns in a new light, as being a powerful unicorn might not always be demonstrated by having a wide catalog of spells that they knew, but rather being able to manipulate many things at once.
However, it did succeed in tiring her out. She hopped into the bed and then levitated the book about monsters over to herself to settle in for some reading ‘till she fell asleep. Having awoken some biological unicorn drive, she found herself flipping the pages with magic instead of her hooves, and it quickly became something she did without much thought.
She read on till she could barely keep her eyes open, and then quietly cuddled up and went to sleep.
She woke up grumpy. Her dreams had been plagued by pink, purple, and blue muffins-- having a parade. She could definitely understand Candy's intense need to obliterate every muffin she came across. When and if she got back to her body she didn't think she'd ever be able to stomach eating a muffin again.
After sitting up, she noticed that there was plenty of daylight pouring in from the window. She'd slept in and nopony had woken her up! She normally woke up with the morning clock tower bell if she somehow slept in, but must have been more tired than she thought. Quickly throwing off her covers, she rushed out the bedroom door and down the stairs.
Ma was sitting at the table reading over a report card, perhaps Caramel's. The mare looked up as Cheerilee raced into the room and gave a small smile. "Finally awake? I decided not to wake you up. You had a rough day yesterday, and I figure today is goin' to be a long one as well. I just didn't have the heart to wake you. I went back to bed for an extra hour or so myself. Strawberry made oatmeal for breakfast before she went to work, and left us both plenty. It's not bad, though it's kind of hard to mess up oatmeal."
Cheerilee gave the Apple matriarch a questioning look. Ma seemed much warmer to her than she'd been last night. The mare must have picked up on her apprehension, as her ears sagged. "Look… Cheerilee, I'm sorry about yesterday. I don't blame you for what happened at the school. I also don't blame you for being in my daughter's body. I needed a night's sleep to get myself calmer about it, but I'll do better today. We both want this fixed, and I'm sure my daughter does too. It's gonna be a little awkward for me, since I see her when I look at you, but I'll do my best."
She could accept and understand that. She hopped into one of the chairs and gave the mare a smile back. "I'll do my best to be considerate of your feelings, and to be cooperative with everypony today. I've been rather difficult at times. I just don't want to be ignored. I might be in the body of a foal… and I admit that is impacting my ability to think and reason like an adult, but I taught at least half the adult ponies in this town when they were foals. I'm not just a problem to get rid of, I'm a thinking and feeling pony."
"Or a ghost hauntin' my daughter," Ma said in a low voice, then shook her head and gave an apologetic look. "Not to say that discredits what you just said. I'm sorry, this is just hard."
Cheerilee felt some filly rage building in her, but forced herself to suppress it. "I understand. This isn't easy for me either, and it doesn't help that I'm dealing with an eight-year old brain instead of an adult one. It's surprisingly hard not to have a temper tantrum sometimes, and dealing with the shorter attention span. I suppose it could be worse though, getting caught in a young mare just starting puberty would have been a headache, or an even younger foal."
"I think Candy is very mature for her age, but I admit that her attention can wander sometimes," Ma replied. "I guess what you're describin' can be a credit to her, since it means she's learned how to keep her emotions in check." Ma wiped one of her eyes absently. "She's a good little filly, even if she makes mistakes sometimes."
The mare looked over at the counter by the stove and lit her horn. Two bowls of oatmeal floated gracefully over to the table.
Cheerilee looked up from her bowl. "I think I'd like to try using a spoon again. I was practicing last night, and it is coming easier for me. I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck here, so I might as well learn how to properly use this horn."
Ma nodded and levitated a spoon over to her. Cheerilee lit Candy's horn up and grasped the utensil in her magic. Thankfully, it didn't go flying through the air this time, though it was a bit of a task maneuvering it to get proper spoonfuls of oatmeal. Half of the ones she did get onto the spoon she ended up dumping before she could get the spoon to her mouth.
"Just focus on keepin' it level, and try lightly graspin' the oatmeal in place when it's on the spoon-- just not too hard, or you'll make a mess. Ohh, not like that! You keep releasin' your magic right before you bite; don't do that. You can bite through your aura, and it won't hurt you," Ma suggested as she watched and gestured while Cheerilee struggled with the food.
It still took some time before she was able to get more food to her mouth than on the table, chair, or floor. The oatmeal was cold by the time she finally could manage to consistently get the spoon to her mouth carrying its intended load.
Ma giggled, which involved scrunching up her nose and snorting. "Sorry, it's just adorable watchin' you learn how to use your horn, and a little nostalgic. I had to walk Candy through what to do about a year-a-half ago, and it took her several days of attempts to get it down. I miss teachin' her about magic, but she's outgrown most of my magic lessons, although I'm still workin' on teachin' her the spell to help reheat food. She tends to set it on fire when she tries, which isn't a common problem for foals who're learnin' to heat food with their horns. Speakin' of which, let me do that for you."
With another light of her Ma's horn, a small stream of steam started to rise from the bowl of oatmeal. Cheerilee took a fresh spoonful, and found it now a pleasant temperature. "I can see why she puts so much study into it. I never really made use of my own earth pony strength. It was just never really relevant to me. The only time I ever recall using it was back when the Crusaders doused me with that love potion and I ended up demolishing the entire front of Rarity's boutique in one buck, even if I don't personally remember doing it. I saw the damage after, and Rarity sent me the repair bill-- an extremely discounted bill, but still a bill."
"It would be nice if I could buck apples the way all the earth ponies in the family do," Ma replied with another snort-giggle. "I tried bucking a tree once, and ended up in bed for a week with a sprain. The few times I tried helpin' with the harvest, I ended up just pickin' apples three or four at a time with my magic. It's not the most time effective way of doin' things, but what's an average unicorn to do? When Candy grows up, I'm sure she'll have some better magical solution, thanks to all the magical talent she has, but I doubt she'll want to be a farmer."
"If I didn't screw up any future she has," Cheerilee said mournfully, as she sank the spoon deep into the oatmeal.
Ma let out a long breath. "It's gonna be hard to keep them from kickin' her out of school, but we can make it could work out if they do. I can find her a private teacher, even if that might be expensive-- I know Starlight is too busy, but maybe Sweetie Belle will take her as a personal student, or one of them will have another suggestion. I'll see that she gets her education, one way or another. I'm just sad she'll be seeing less of her friends if she gets kicked out of school, and it will be harder to get her into the school in Canterlot if she wants to end up goin' there." The tips of her ears sagged low. "I'm more worried they're goin' to force her to go to a mental hospital. Applejack and Starlight assure me that they'd have a hard time doin' that, but they wouldn't deny it might be possible. It's hard to put anythin' out of the question when Spoiled Rich is involved."
"She's been a pain in my side for years," Cheerilee grumbled angrily. "I had hoped she'd quit the school board after her daughter graduated, but I guess I'm just not that lucky. It's just a status symbol for her; she doesn't really care about the students, aside from giving her an opportunity from time to time to make somepony feel small so she can feel more important. I'm not normally a violent pony, but I'd love to buck her in the face, just once."
Ma gave her a horrified look. "Please, don't do that! Candy has an uphill battle as it is without makin' Spoiled vindictive. I'd keep quiet about the muffins, too. We're trying to convince them that Candy's not crazy."
Cheerilee blew a raspberry. "I'm not going to do anything to Spoiled, just having a foalish fantasy. The muffins mean something though. I'm sure of it."
"We can figure out what is the deal with muffins after the meetin'," Ma said firmly. "We aren't doin' anythin' to give them an excuse to take Candy away. If they hear that you and she are seein' things that aren't there, it gives them an excuse to try bypassin' me and her pa. They'll say we knowingly haven't tended to her mental problems."
That took some of her gusto out of her. "I'll keep quiet about it at the meeting, but I still am hoping they can figure it out before then."
"Me too," Ma replied quietly. A soft knock sounded at the front door, making the mare's ears pick back up. "That must be Marble. I asked if she could do her sessions with you here. I need a few minutes to let her know what's goin' on, though. Just sit tight while I do that." It would be interesting to see how the psychologist reacted to the news.
Cheerilee just sat and ate her oatmeal, only rarely spilling any. When she finished her meal, she took a look around herself. It looked like an infant had just had a field day with the oatmeal-- a little on the table, a little on the floor, a little on the chair, and plenty of it on her. There was a chance that there was more oatmeal that didn't make it to her stomach than did. The only saving grace was that most of this was from her first few attempts.
Ma walked back into the kitchen, with Marble Pie following close behind her. "I explained everythin' to her as best I can. I know she doesn't like talkin' when there's more than one creature around, so I'll just go sit in the front and try to keep busy with makin' arrangements for Bright's wedding. It's somethin' happy to focus on." Having made her declaration, the unicorn turned and left Cheerilee alone with the psychologist.
Marble licked her lips before walking over to the cupboard, taking a mug. "I think I need to have a little apple juice.” The earth pony mare turned and looked at her. "Do you want some?"
Cheerilee blinked. "Um, I'm fine, thank you. Make yourself at home, I guess."
"I've been here many times, although you might not know that if you aren't Candy. I come here almost every other Hearthswarming. Treating the Apples and Pies as one family is something Pinkie and Applejack started a long time ago, and the rest of us just kind of go along with, since it makes them happy-- even though we know we're not closely related. I actually checked Pie family history, there are no less than nine ponies currently living in Ponyville that claim no blood relation to the Pies that are more closely related than the Apples-- one of them is actually you, if you're Cheerilee; a some number of greats-uncle of yours was my some number of greats-grandfather. Don't tell Pinkie, or she'll go nuts."
"I never knew about me being related to you in any way, but I suppose with how big earth pony families typically are, it is almost impossible for most earth ponies not to share some relative somewhere along the line," Cheerilee replied with a shrug.
Marble poured herself some apple juice, and took a long sip. "Well, on to business. Creatures can complain about misdelivered mail, but the mail service is fast. I sent a letter to Cheerilee in Vanhoover. I feel a little honored, as I got a quick reply back. She apparently doesn't give many replies."
Cheerilee went rigid. "What did I say?"
The psychologist came and sat down at the table. "I told her about your claims to be her, and asked if she had an incident where she was trapped in Candy's body. She denied anything like that ever happening. She also gave her best wishes that you get well soon. It was a pretty brief reply."
Cheerilee laid her ears back and flicked her tail. "It doesn't mean anything. They said it was a possibility that I create a new timeline. If that was the case, then I might not remember."
"Or that you are just a collection of memories that Candy got stuck with, and you're really Candy," Marble said calmly. The pony sighed. "If you're Candy, you might have all your memories suppressed and other ones implanted, but they aren't your real memories, just the echoes of somepony else's. Somepony who isn't really here."
That drove her worry skyward. She didn't want to be questioning who she really was. "Why are you pushing this?"
Marble gave her a sad frown. "Because if it is true, realizing you're really Candy might help bring your real memories back to the surface, kind of like a severe amnesiac patient who we are trying to get to remember things. One of the first steps in helping them is trying to get them to accept who they are, and then that makes them more likely to be open to prompting that might return their memory."
Cheerilee took a deep breath, trying to reign in her emotions. "Even if it were true, that doesn't stop it from happening again and again to her."
"Our goal is to get Candy back in control of her life, isn't it?" Marble asked. "This might not stop her picking up those echoes of other creature's lives, but it might help her assert herself over all these extra memories that don't come from her, and not letting them push her out of the way. Visions of the past, rather than personalities that she loses herself in."
She didn't respond. There was some sense to what Marble was saying, but it required her to accept that she wasn't real. That was a step she couldn't make herself take. "How about we talk about the muffins? Those are very upsetting to her, and to me."
"Okay, we can do that," Marble replied with a nod. "Tell me about the muffins."
Cheerilee sat back and shivered. "Yesterday I just started seeing smiling faces on all the muffins. I don't know what came over me, but I was just terrified. I panicked, and then surged."
Marble pulled out a notebook and pencil. She wrote a few notes and looked back to Cheerilee. "Do you feel as if the muffins are threatening you?" The mare asked around the pencil in her mouth.
She looked down. "I don't think so. I don't know what a muffin could even do to me. It's not exactly the most dangerous thing out there. I know they aren't real, but I'm still terrified."
The psychologist wrote a few more notes. "An everyday object which has taken on a horrific meaning to you. Candy shares this same dread of muffins, correct?"
Cheerilee nodded. "Just me and her. None of the other ponies seemed upset about the muffins, except perhaps that half-zebra, but he was just upset about the drawing."
"Drawing?"
"There's a drawing of a smiling muffin up on the closet door upstairs," she replied with a point of a hoof towards the staircase. "Candy draws all the ponies that have occupied her, but she also drew that muffin."
"Yet she never claimed to be possessed by a demonic smiling muffin?" Marble asked with a brow raised, pencil sticking out of her mouth at Cherrilee. Cheerilee shook her head in response. The earth pony made some additional notes.
"The muffins just don't fit with everything else," Cheerilee continued. "Why is it just me, and none of the others that sees them?"
Marble continued making notes, and frowned. "Perhaps it is a sign some part of Candy is trying to reassert herself after all this time. This is her psychosis, after all."
"Maybe," Cheerilee replied. She couldn't deny that was a possibility. She knew if she was trapped within her own body, watching helplessly as someone else had command of it, she'd be doing all she could to struggle to take back control of herself. The more she had to try the better she could get at it, and this was Candy's fourteenth round of doing this.
"For right now let's focus on why the muffins invoke so much fear, shall we?" Marble continued. Cheerilee nodded agreement, and the psychologist set her pencil down and continued. "Let's review what we know. They're a mundane object. There isn't anything particularly threatening about muffins. It would be hard to imagine a muffin being threatening, even if it was possessed by some monster. After all, what's it going to do to you, get crumbs on you? You don't describe them having any extra accessories, like teeth, to make them capable of doing harm. Yet Candy, and you as an extension, are terrified of them."
"Saying it like that seems really insensitive to how Candy and I are feeling," Cheerilee said accusingly.
Marble's ears dropped. "It's not meant to be. My Granny Pie used to tell me and my sisters the most effective way to not be scared was to laugh. Pinkie does this very well. You'll never see Pinkie run from a monster, my sister will sit there laughing her flank off about it. Most creatures might call her crazy for that, but most creatures haven't helped save Equestria time and time again. I think that gives it credence that it's an effective tactic. Sometimes, when my social anxiety gets to be too much, I take time to stop and laugh at how ridiculous my fear is-- it helps. Maybe that's what you and Candy need to learn to do; stop and laugh at the fact that a muffin is terrifying you."
It couldn't hurt, she supposed. "That doesn't explain why we are seeing them. I know it has to be something to do with those extra two resonances."
"Or it is your subconscious's way of projecting your anxiety," Marble suggested. "Let me explain; the situation makes the world feel wrong. Candy, and you, look around and see a perfectly normal Ponyville--"
"It's very different than I remember," Cheerilee interjected.
"A normal enough Ponyville," Marble amended. "There isn't anything around you to point to as the cause of your anxiety, since it is all internal, so you make something to be that cause. You take something perfectly ordinary, and you turn it into a monster, because there needs to be something you can blame, something you can fight."
The mare sighed. "I used to do that when around other ponies. I would visualize them as monsters, out to get me. I could deal with my family, but everypony else-- that was a different story. It was social anxiety in my case, not the type of anxiety you have, but it still caused me to have paranoia, and paranoia made me see things that weren't there; ponies making fun of me, ponies saying horrible things about me, ponies plotting against me. All of these things weren't real, and I knew in my head they were irrational, but they still seemed very real to me."
"But I don't have social anxiety," Cheerilee grumbled.
Marble looked her in the eyes. "But you have a paranoid delusion of something you admit you know, logically, isn't there. Something that invokes strong emotions of fear. You have a lot of anxiety wrapped up in you, and it can make you see things that aren't there."
That made her think of something Silver said. Something that she hoped she and Candy didn't share. "Um, in terms of seeing something that isn't there; what are some early warning signs of dementia?"
Marble blinked. "Problems with short-term memory, confusion, moodiness, getting stressed more easily, struggling with everyday tasks, difficulty communicating; all these things could be warning signs of several possible mental health problems, not necessarily indicating dementia, but clearly indicating something isn't right. Why do you ask?"
Cheerilee looked down and away. "I found out that the version of me that is in this time was having panic attacks of some sort before she left, and that there were whispers it might be dementia."
"Well, unless she was diagnosed with it by a professional I wouldn't put much stock on what creatures whisper," Marble said dismissively. "It definitely sounds like there was some serious issue, but I never was asked to treat Cheerilee, and I'm the only fully licensed psychologist in Ponyville. That doesn't mean she didn't have a problem, but a lot of creatures get too ashamed to seek out help when they realize they have a problem that would bring them to me."
That she could believe of herself. She'd definitely feel ashamed if she had to admit to everypony that she had some sort of mental health problem. She'd be scared they'd think she was crazy. Although, ironically, not treating it might have caused them to get that impression. On the positive side, she didn't think she was displaying any of those symptoms… except maybe moodiness, but she had multiple reasons to be moody, and didn't need to attribute that to some mental imbalance. That didn't mean that wouldn't change in the future, but now she could be aware of it. She had no intention of breaking down like this version of herself did.
Marble left her seat at the table. "I think we've covered what we can for today, at least until you finish with your other tests. I'll have a few brief words with Ma Apple, and then be on my way. Remember, you know that the muffins aren't real, and you know that they're ridiculous; try to laugh at them, and hopefully you can overcome the fear you're feeling."
She'd do her best to do that, but there didn't seem to be much to laugh about right now.