With a statement like that you would think Twilight was going to abscond with Gustave and keep him for herself, but being the good regent she was she explained herself and immediately won the approval of her peers/subjects. Turned out that her solution was rather simple indeed… as well as immensely irresponsible, and arguably insane. For in a zap of magic she had taken herself and Gustave to a certain subterranean cavern, where she dunked the griffon into a certain magical pool of water and held him under for several minutes, remembering to let him breathe at intervals. When the rock sealing the mirror pool was removed, Equestria was literally flooded in Gustave Le Grands, and everypony couldn't have been happier.
It's no exaggeration to say there was a Gustave for everyone. Several, in fact. Not one household, apartment, condo, hostel, hovel, or dumpster was without its own blinking, breathing, snuggly sensuous Le Grand, each and every one adorably clucking “qu’est-ce que c’est?” on repeat. The original Gustave was quickly lost in the shuffle, but none mourned the loss or even noticed (much to his relief, wherever he may be).
And why would they? It mattered not that the original article wasn’t theirs; it didn’t matter that the clones were essentially gibbering parrots incapable of giving or denying consent. It was the ultimate, carefree fantasy for everyone, as though heaven had decided to come down and pay them a visit for a change. And the fact that the copies seemed uninterested in food, water or general upkeep was icing on the feathery cake!
However, while 99% of the citizenry were totally onboard with being drowned in an endless sea of musky confectioners, the sudden population boom did draw the attention of certain ponies of interest. Namely, the former ruling diarchs.
"I find this very concerning, sister," Luna said within the confines of her luxury bungalow, watching the state of her beloved country through a scrying crystal. "Twilight Sparkle has chosen to act impulsively yet again."
"It would seem that way," agreed Celestia from her plus-sized wicker chair. "Although it's far from the worst, most disastrous thing she's done."
"Yes, I'm aware of that. Still, we may need to intervene if this gets more out of hoof than it currently is."
"Of course. But I still have the utmost faith in Twilight and her friends to handle things. And besides…" Celestia took a moment to snuggle with her bawking Gustave Le Grand. “What hurry is there in parting with something so firm, hunky and harmless?”
“I definitely agree; they are just the most adorable, sumptuous creatures!” Luna took up her two Gustaves and squeezed them against her sides with the greatest satisfaction. “I can only imagine how they perform in the bedroom.”
“Why save it for the bedroom? We have ample romping space here in the rumpus room.”
“Verily!”
It remained to be seen how Equestria would fare: if it will go back to “normal”, fall into feathery, Prench-accented ruin or strike a bizarre yet harmonious equilibrium. Whatever fate would ultimately be drawn, there was no denying that the Age of Gustave had begun with open, clingy, sweaty hooves.
The Gods have mercy on their depraved souls.
Elsewhere, in a lopsided but cozy cottage within the twisty bendy loopy-doopy panoramic dimension of hyperbole and absurdity, the roguish, dashing master of the realm had been watching the madness of the day unfold. Reclining on the most ergonomically unsound chair imaginable, Discord watched the wave of Gustave clones covering Equestria through the glass of a large Magic 8-Ball, an amused grin taking up most of his elongated face.
"I must say, you picked a rather fortuitous day to visit, Fluttershy," the draconequus said to the buttercream-coated pegasus lounging on the upturned sofa across from him.
"Oh my. I would never think Twilight would do that," Fluttershy remarked, her lovely eyes tracking the spreading griffon hoard like it were an ant migration.
"Even with more duties and years of experience on her metaphoric belt she still has that hilarious tendency of overdoing things, usually mistaking convenience for practicality. It’s always a gas whenever it happens."
"Still, it wasn't nice of you to make everyone fixated on poor Gustave."
"I have done no such thing," Discord said in mock offense. "All I did was merely increase their male awareness. It just so happened that Mr. Le Grand was the most attractive male in the area at the time."
"I just find it hard to believe everypony would lose control of themselves like that."
"Ahhh, but that's the insidious, all-consuming influence of lust, dearest Fluttershy. It starts off small: a mild attraction, quite innocent. But in no time it becomes a gnawing obsession that reduces a 'civilized' individual down into a one-dimensional shell of their former self. Millennia of evolution and none of you has truly been able to shake off your basest biological needs." Discord took a moment to chortle over this undeniable truth before continuing. “Then again, you ponies aren’t exactly the pillars of abstinent fortitude. All it takes is a well-coiffed mane, a certain fetlock style, a brief simmering glance to turn you to jelly.”
Discord took a moment to rub his paw along the 8-Ball before him as he adjusted a pair of bifocals. He reached behind his back to produce a long metal pointer that he held in his talon as well as a chalkboard that had a conveniently drawn diagram of Gustave Le Grand pre-drawn upon it. “So of course it’s no surprise for them to fall for someone as obnoxious as Gustave Le Grand here. How easily they overlook his flawed personality because he knows how to keep his talons trimmed, his beak clean and his feathers in place.”
Discord used the pointer to identify each key area for emphasis as he spoke. “Or comb his fur just the right way to make it shimmer like an onyx ocean. Or get enough sleep to keep the redness from his eyes, allowing them to stay clear, vibrant, inviting. So flawless and radiant. Like the sun if it were also a mirror…"
The draconequus abandoned the chalkboard in favor of leaning forward and gazing deeply into the 8-Ball, his lower jaw going slack and his eyes glazing. Suddenly, he reared back and clasped his head. “I can’t fight it anymore! I must make him mine!”
Discord readied to poof out, but a furiously-flustered Fluttershy grabbed and threw him violently against a wall, making him utter the sound a bird makes when you punch it (but not too hard because its bones are hollow and it probably couldn't make that sound if you crushed its lungs).
“Back off, skank! I’ve known him longer!” Fluttershy warned, and risin' up to the challenge of his rival Discord taunted, “Oh for like what, two days? Years ago? Besides, you have literal animal magnetism; you can bag any studly beast to satiate that lascivious appetite of yours.”
“Well mama is hungry for a bite of sizzlin'-hot griffon!”
Discord abruptly morphed into an exaggerated replica of their desired avian, boasting a ludicrously broad chest, a beak bent at a ridiculously sharp angle, and a mustache with more twists than a kirin’s mane. “Would this be enough to satisfy your craving?”
“YES!!”
The two immediately launched at each other and got into a riotous make-out session that wrecked the already messy living room and knocked the entire house in every possible direction. Wow, just look at them go. Reminds me of that one saying about an unstoppable force colliding with an immovable object. Only in this case it's the insatiable lust of a chaos god colliding with the sexual frustrations of an otherwise demure pegasus. Methinks it's going to be a while.
In any case, if there's a lesson to be learned from all this, it's that you should take care of your urges in the privacy and safety of your own home. If you have a partner who can help, that makes it better! Otherwise, you risk having your naughty inclinations spill over onto those around you. And that, my friends, can lead to a mess in every meaning of the word.
(Told you it was shoehorned)