//------------------------------// // Tear // Story: HeartBeat // by DemonBrightSpirit //------------------------------// Last night was filled with lots of things: angry words, yelling, crying… but it didn’t have much sleep. I somehow managed to get Dinky up and on her way to class, even though we hardly said two words to each other. After that, I went right back to bed. I told myself that I would have to get my shut-eye to adjust to working nights, but really I just wanted to sleep. Sleep and forget all the drama.  Funny thing about sleep though. All those unpleasant thoughts kept coming back, playing over and over again in my mind. All the tiredness in the world couldn’t bring the comfort of sleep with my head so full of painful thoughts. As I rolled over for the dozenth time, my not-sleep was interrupted by the sound of a door slamming shut. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Did Dinky forget something for school? Groaning, I tossed the blankets aside and stumbled out of bed. This could be a good chance to make amends. When I turned the corner, I found a different pony than the one I’d expected.  “Vinyl?” The ivory mare hung up her jacket by my door, then draped her headphones over it. Turning, she caught sight of me and smiled. In a flash of blue, her shades rose to rest on her horn.  One look at those lovely eyes and my mind went blank. I was so lost in her eyes that the next thing I knew, her luscious lips were pressed to mine. I felt a leg snake around my shoulders, but before Vinyl could pull me closer, I pressed a hoof to her chest and pushed her away. I already missed her lips. She scratched her head as her horn began to glow. I found the words on the floor between us. TOO FAST? “No,” I said, looking back up to Vinyl. “It’s just… have a seat.” I pointed at my couch.  She sauntered right over to the couch and flopped down, laying there instead of sitting.  I walked over and took a seat next to her. “Vinyl, I—Eep!” I yelped as a pair of hooves suddenly grabbed me. The next thing I knew, I was laying there with Vinyl, my body pressed against hers as her forelegs wrapped around me. It took me a moment to calm down and relax into her embrace. Just as I got comfortable, I sighed. “I know you’re probably pretty tired of me talking about Dinky, but… we had a fight last night. I just need to talk to somepony.” Vinyl’s aura appeared, flipping my coffee table forward to use as a writing surface. LUCKY FOR YOU I HAPPEN TO BE A GREAT LISTENER A giggle escaped my lips. As safe and warm as I felt with Vinyl holding me like this, I still felt a nagging worry in my heart. “I got a letter last night. From Midnight.” When I hesitated, new letters appeared in front of me. YOUR EX? “Yeah,” I muttered. “He—” I bit my lip “—he’s getting married. He wants Dinky to visit next weekend to invite her personally.” I breathed a deep breath in, but it came out as a whimper JEALOUS? “Is it that obvious?” I muttered. I gave my head a little shake. “But that’s my problem. Our problem is that… well, Dinky saw that I was upset. It wasn’t my place to tell her about the wedding, so I tried to change the subject.” This time as I tried to breathe my stress away, it came out as a sigh. It still didn’t make me feel any better. “She asked me if the reason I was upset was because something happened between us.” I felt Vinyl’s chest jump a couple of times. Was she laughing?  NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN US The blue magic snapped away, gone in an instant instead of how it usually fades. Then, it reappeared with new words. RIGHT? “Right,” I said. This time, I felt her chest heave in and out slowly. “But that means that she’s already found out that we’re… you know. Us.” AND THATS A PROBLEM? “Dinky hates it when I date somepony,” I explained, squirming in Vinyl’s embrace. “She wants me and Midnight and her to be a family like she remembers.” Feeling a comforting hoof caress my foreleg, I leaned back into Vinyl. “We never were, you know.” Memories long left alone flitted by as I closed my eyes. “Midnight and I met when I was practically still a filly. He came to Ponyville from Canterlot for work. We really hit it off, and I was stupid enough to believe that he actually loved me.” I sighed again. “We weren’t even together for a moon. As soon as it came time for him to head back to Canterlot, he broke it off with me. I told him I’d go back with him, but he refused.” Vinyl stopped rubbing my leg, instead giving me a couple of taps on my shoulder. I craned my head back to find her horn lit up, urging me to look back at my overturned coffee table.  THAT GUYS AN IDIOT FOR LETTING A MARE LIKE YOU GO Even though Vinyl was trying to make me feel better, it didn’t work. “No, I was the idiot,” I muttered. “I followed him to Canterlot anyway… and I found out why he didn’t want me there.” Vinyl wrapped her hooves around me again, pulling me close to her and giving me the reassurance to continue. “He was already in a relationship. I was never his very special somepony or even just his girlfriend.” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my hardest not to cry. Somehow, I got the last bit out without my voice cracking. “I was his mistress.” When I opened my eyes, I found Vinyl’s spell waiting for me. I HOPE YOU GAVE THAT IDIOT WHAT HE DESERVED “No, I… I just went home. I cried the whole train ride.” Squirming just a bit, I raised a hoof to my eyes to wipe away the tears that threatened to fall. “Dinky doesn’t know about any of that. She doesn’t need to know.” Clearing my throat, I shifted to some happier memories. “I really thought that was the last I’d ever see of him, but a couple of moons later I found out I was going to be a mother. Midnight was the only one that could be the father. I admit I considered never telling him, but that wouldn’t be fair. So I sent him a letter.” YOURE TOO GOOD FOR THAT IDIOT “Well, to his credit, he did come back to help me with Dinky. Though I guess his special somepony set him straight. I don’t think he so much as held my hoof again. But he was always there for Dinky.” I sighed. “At first. For the first couple of years, he was there almost every day. But as time went by, he spent more and more time in Canterlot with his girlfriend. I don’t think I’ve seen him since Dinky’s last birthday.” SO HES MOVING ON AND GETTING MARRIED THATS GOOD RIGHT? “No!” Twisting about, I managed to turn around to face Vinyl. “Dinky loves her dad. All she remembers is having fun and being loved with the three of us together. She wants us all to be a family again, but she doesn’t understand that we never really were.” I buried my face in Vinyl’s chest, and she wrapped her hooves around me. “That’s why she hates me dating, and she’s never been fond of Midnight’s special somepony. Worse, I finally set her straight last night. I told her that we would never be together again, and now I’m afraid she might take it out on you.” I felt Vinyl withdraw her hoof, urging me to look up. There, I found Vinyl pointing at herself. I nodded. “I couldn’t tell her it was because Midnight had his wedding planned, so I’m afraid she might think it’s because we started dating.” Vinyl grimaced, using her free hoof to rub the back of her neck. Her horn started glowing, urging me to flop back over to see the words again. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR US? “I love Dinky, and I don’t want to hurt her,” I said, reciting words that I’d practiced in my head. “But, sooner or later, she’s going to have to deal with this. I’ll help her all I can, but that doesn’t mean I want us to stop being… us.” I felt Vinyl’s hooves again circle around me, pulling me tight into a hug. It brought a smile to my lips. “It just means we all may have to adjust a little,” I said, snuggling back into Vinyl’s warm embrace. “Um, speaking of, you know, us, I did kind of also want to talk with you. Before all this stuff with Dinky came up, I mean.” I waited for a response from Vinyl, but none came. “Well, I’ve been worried about us… our relationship, I mean.” This time, Vinyl nearly knocked me off the couch as she shot up, her horn aglow. ARE WE OKAY? “Yeah,” I said as I sat up to look Vinyl in the eye. “I mean, things have been going great, and I guess that scares me.” I looked down as I drew little circles with my hoof on the cushion. “The last time things went well for me… things didn’t go so well for me. I guess I’m just afraid things will go all wrong again.” I felt Vinyl’s forelegs wrap around me again. Before I could look up, I felt her against me and her lips pressed to my cheek. I turned to face her, but a blue glimmer caught my eye first.  I MAY BE AN IDIOT BUT I WONT HURT YOU LIKE THAT IDIOT Smiling, I returned Vinyl’s hug, holding her tight. “You always make me feel better,” I said. For a moment, I considered looking up at her, but my fears won out as I buried my face in her chest. “There… there is just one other thing.” I felt a hitch in her breathing as the question left my lips. After a moment, she shifted a bit and I felt her hoof rub up and down my back. Summoning my courage with a sigh, I pulled back to look Vinyl in the eye. “I need to know about us. I mean…” Looking away, I tried to find the right words out of the jumbled mess in my head. Nodding, I turned back. “I want a relationship. A real relationship,” I said as I put my hoof on Vinyl’s. “I want somepony I can share my life with. Somepony that will marry me someday. What do you want, Vinyl?” She looked away, pulling her hoof free to scratch her head. After a long moment, that divine horn of hers lit up with her blue aura. I looked over to find a single letter on the coffee table.  I For the longest time, that letter just hung there alone. Slowly, the blue strings scrawled by, carving out just two more words. DONT KNOW I felt like crying as I read the words. A hoof pressed into my chest. I looked over to see Vinyl with her other forehoof pointed at herself. Her mouth was moving, but no sounds came. After a moment of flapping her lips, she closed her mouth and eyes and I watched her sigh. She withdrew her hoof and opened her eyes as her horn started glowing again.  DERPY I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU I WANT YOU After a few seconds, the words vanished, swept away for a new phrase. I JUST NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE FUTURE AND STUFF I turned to find Vinyl staring at me, ears drooping down. Her cerise eyes shimmered. A stark realization washed over me, seeing Vinyl trembling there in front of me. She always seemed so confident and together that I never even thought that she might have doubts of her own. Was she afraid I might break up with her? “It’s okay,” I said, wrapping my hooves around her and pulling her into a hug. “We can figure it out together.”