Empty Sky

by Krickis


Epilogue


“Hey, Sky. Bet you weren’t expecting to see me again so soon. I wasn’t really planning on visiting again already, but after everything that’s happened, well… you’ve just been on my mind a lot.

“So I guess the big news is that I’m three months sober. Again. It’s strange though, it doesn’t feel like a setback. I mean, I was a full year sober until I screwed that up, but… it feels okay. It’s not like I’m starting back at square one, I hit a bump, but all that progress I made is still there.

“I’m not doing it on my own this time, though. There’s a weekly meeting I go to with other ponies who are going through the same thing. I was nervous at first, and it didn’t take long for the press to catch wind of it, but it hasn’t been too bad. It’s what I should have done a year ago, when I first decided to do this.

“To think, all this happened because I miss you so much. No, wait, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It was all on me, not because you’re, you know, not here. It’s just… it’s still hard, you know? I don’t know, I guess you’d have no idea what I was talking about. You’d be just learning how to say ‘Mama’ right about now, huh?

“Speaking of your Mama… look out for her, will you? I’m learning time and time again that no one gets by on their own, and well, I don’t know if she really wants to see me. She’s got your Aunt Rainbow to keep her company, but… Heh, there’s a scary thought, Aunt Rainbow Dash. Nah, that’s not fair, I bet she’d be good at it. You’d love her, I’m sure.

“I’ve also been thinking… about me. And what I want out of the future. All of this happened because I never really confronted the fact you’re gone – there, that’s a better way to put it. And now, well… Now I am. I told my girlfriends about you, and they’ve been really supportive. And… it’s nice to finally get to talk about you. I wish I had more to say, but you know. It’s not some deep dark secret anymore.

“And that’s got me thinking, maybe someday… No, not maybe. I want to be a mom. I’m not ready, not yet, but I want to be. Someday. And I will be. I think… I think I owe it to you to try again. You were such an important part of my life, but you would never want me to be so stuck on that one part that I hold myself back.

“That’s the real reason I wanted to come see you. See, I don’t believe in heaven, or any kind of afterlife, you know? But I always talk to you, and I guess maybe I’m just talking to myself, but… there’s a reason.

“Because back when we lost you, when your Mama was in the hospital, I prayed. First time for everything, right? Well, I prayed that she would wake up. And she did. And ever since then, I just kinda thought, you know. I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong before. I’ve been wrong a lot.

“So I could be wrong. Maybe there is a heaven, and maybe that’s where you are. And maybe you really can look after your Mama, and if that’s true… Well, someday I think it’s very likely you’ll have a little sister or brother. So please, when that time comes, look out for them too. Because let’s be honest, with me as a mom, they’ll need all the help they can get.

“I was gonna say ‘I hope you don’t mind me trying to move on’, but you wouldn’t. I know that now. So instead I’ll just say the one thing I really wish I got the chance to say to you. I love you, Sky. I love you, and no matter what happens, you’ll always be here in my heart.”