A bead of sweat rolled down Pinkie's forehead. She bit her tongue gently between her front teeth and stared cross-eyed at the book open in front of her, a two-page illustration diagram stretched out under the afternoon sun. It was a picture of a tiny red pony in a hat going very fast into a set of stairs...
"This doesn't make any sense at all. If I crash into the stairs won't I stop moving?"
Pinkie Pie, by this arbitrary time in her clowning career, was intimately familiar with the laws of 'arbitrary physics'--mostly meaning that if things behaved largely as they seemed they should, and there wasn't anypony smart around asking questions, things happened conveniently and in the best interest of whatever visual gag happened to require their input. But this whole 'parallel universe' thing made no sense. For one thing, the book she'd been reading seemed to indicate that unless you made the jump to the parallel universe on your first try... and screamed something immediately afterwards, that you'd be stuck in the threshold to dimensions for... well, it just had a really long line that ran off the page of the book. And the book itself wasn't even in a language Pinkie could read... it just had a lot of strange symbols, of stars and mushrooms and the occasional transcription of someone yelling "YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH-YAH..." over and over again. Pinkie Pie scratched her head for effect.
But that was the diagram showed. Step One, place self in front of stairs, facing away from stairs. Step Two, jump forward, barely. Step Three, for some reason, was a picture of a bowl of oatmeal. Pink oatmeal. Step Four... go backwards?
"That part doesn't make any sense. You can't see where you're going when you jump backwards. And even if you could... how would it make you go faster?"
Truth be told, Pinkie had been trying to follow the diagram for the better part of the morning. The closest she had gotten was when she got distracted jumping by something shiny out of the corner of her eye, and by the time she went to retrieve it she'd looped the town enough times to crash through Twilight's house like an air-to-ground missile. It was fast, sure, but not much for Pinkie. And it certainly wasn't 'parallel universes' fast.
The label on the diagram made no sense either. 718? 8LJ? Scratch scratch.
What was that song, though, from an earlier and less-profitable place in Pinkie's memories? Something about disregarding safety precautions and jumping mindlessly over a cliff?
Oh, yeah. It was from that pony with curly hair who liked to yell in the middle of downtown sometimes. Shia LeHoof. "Just DO IT."
"I wonder if anypony will appreciate that reference," Pinkie Pie thought out loud. A generic shrug sound effect played in the background.
"Here goes nothing." Pinkie straightened her angle and crouched low. Slight forward, pull back. And... something something yahoo?
Pinkie felt the stairs come up to meet her. But they came faster than before. Instead of a series of decisions, the steps blurred together into a long diagonal chain of ups and downs. Pinkie Pie felt her hooves catch one step, then move up to the next. They hit the step, then moved again, hit the step, then moved... Pinkie felt herself building up speed. A LOT of speed.
There were twenty stairs on her front staircase. She counted them as she felt them under her hooves. Down to the last three... two... one...
And with the sound of a car bass stereo being crushed into a trash compactor as a clock rewinds and a well-dressed somepony in a yellow coat yells the name of the planet they're standing on--
YAHOO--
FIRST TRY, IDIOT
And Pinkie was gone.
Vanished.
BLJ'd... into a parallel universe.