After an indeterminate amount of time, I pick myself up and stand on the ledge of the guard rail again.
"Null? What are you doing?" Skyline questions with a hint of apprehension in his voice.
I simply do a couple of stretches, forward and back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't almost lose my balance a few times, but I was able to right myself. "Testing something" I say. "If it doesn't work out, I need someone to go get help. That's where you come in." I vaguely explain.
"That doesn't tell me anything except that you're planning on doing something stupid. The question still remains, what are you doing?" He asks.
I look down over the ledge. "Do you think I fall from this height would kill me?" I ask with a mischievous smirk that he can't see.
I can practically hear his eyes widen; I jump before he gets the chance to grab me, deciding to yell out a random word I found on my phone. "YOLO!"
feeling the wind whipping by my head is actually pretty cool. Admittedly seeing the ground rapidly approaching, I could definitely do without. I can hear Skylines wings beating hard though the air to try and catch up to me and likely grab me, but I ignore it and focus on a point on the ground. Here's hoping this works. If not, well… let's just hope it works.
Preparing a blink, I use it as soon as it's ready, just in case momentum does carry though. Better to fall three stories than seven.
Seeing the ground immediately in front of me was really jarring, and left me little time to prepare for any kind of pain. Thankfully, it was more startling than anything, like falling out of bed; Using my eye hurt more than the actual impact. I roll over and look up into the sky to see Skyline rushing towards me with a worried look on his face. Worried for me or his job, I don't know.
He lands near me, and starts looking over my body for injury, but stops when he sees my smirk and bloodied face, along with my left eye clenched shut. He then just gets a disappointedly annoyed look on his face. I can't help but laugh at his expression, to which he jabs me in the gut rather harshly. "This isn't funny, Null. You could have died and you know it."
I laugh a bit more, rubbing the spot where he nailed me. "Should have, would have, could have, but didn't."
He just gets an angry look on his face. "This isn't a joke! Your life could have ended and you sit here laughing! And for what? What were you even testing?!"
"In case you didn't know, I don't care about death. As if it wasn't obvious. And I was seeing if momentum carried though when I blink. Thankfully, it doesn't." I explain with a careless smile. I get up and start walking towards the gardens.
He runs up alongside me after a moment. "How can you be so casual about playing around with your own life?"
I raise an eyebrow at him. "Uh, because after about… say six hundred years of wanting to die, you sorta stop caring about stuff like that. I'm free now, so I get to live my life, true. But if it were to just end, I wouldn't care. As long as it's not going back to being a statue, I'm fine. And since I'm free, I'm gonna live how I want to, and not having the fear of death makes it all the more fun."
"What about Luna? What about Starlight? You'd just leave them behind?" He presses.
"Nah, they can come along if they want; you can too if your up for it. If not, I'll just haunt you all." I joke.
I glance at him after that comment, and upon seeing his expression of pure discontent, I decide to be a little serious.
"They're reasons to be careful about it. I'll fight death if it comes for me, but on my own terms, I'm not afraid to approach it. I'm not gonna hold back in life just because death is a possibility." I state.
"But-"
"I view life and death differently than you. I've been in and out of insanity. I spent a thousand years unable to do anything I wanted. So now, I'm not gonna let anything hold me back from living how I want." I cut him off, crossing my arms.
"Besides, why do you care? If I die, you go back to your regular work instead of putting up with me for Luna." I question.
"I have my reasons…”
I roll my eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, I was at least careful about it. I was thinking about pulling that stunt before you showed up, but decided to wait till someone would see so they could get help if anything happened."
I hear him muttering loud enough for me to hear. "Careful would have been not trying that at all and finding a saner way to test it."
I raise an eyebrow at that. "Sane? Did you forget who you're talking to?"
After a moment of silence, he shakes his head and decides to do what he normally does. Change the subject. "So why are you going to the gardens?" He asks, the anger still evident in his voice.
"Because I've only ever been able to view a garden from where I was placed. I wanna look around one on my own power for a change." I explain.
He raises an eyebrow at me. “And you’re not gonna destroy anything while you’re there?”
“Of course I’m not, what kind of animal do you take me for?” I respond annoyed. “I have a love hate relationship with gardens at this point. I feel both comfortable and uncomfortable in them, but I don’t exactly feel comfortable anywhere else.” I explain.
“Then why not try to find someplace you do feel comfortable then?” he asks.
Rolling my eyes at his stupid question, I start walking backwards to face him while talking. “Because, if I tried to find a place, I’ll never find one. Comfort is something that you can’t go looking for, it’s something that comes to you. Ya understand?”
He tilts his head at me. “That's an odd way of looking at it… but I guess can see the logic behind it.”
Continuing to walk backwards, I start wiping the blood from my face. Bad timing apparently, because I end up tripping over a rock or something; turning my body around to try and catch myself, I land face first into a small gathering of strange looking blue flowers.
From behind me, I can hear Skyline actually trying to hold back some laughter. Rolling over, I look at him unamused. “Hey, what's got you to change your attitude so quickly?”
He simply smirks and manages to get his laughter under control. “Oh nothing… just remembering a joke is all.”
I scrutinize him a bit, but shrug it off. Getting up, I dust myself off and keep walking through the gardens. “Whatever you say.”
He follows behind me, and I watch the local animals skitter around the garden. I briefly wonder if I stood still long enough if they'd climb on me like all those years ago. I quickly shake the thought from my head with a shudder.
Squirrels. Birds. Various other animals. All of them watch me as I watch them.
I'm a little perplexed when I see a phoenix sitting on a tree branch. My memory catches up with me after a moment, and I remember exactly who that bird belongs to. I feel a bit angry at the reminder, but do my best to ignore the feeling. She didn't do anything. However, I notice that she's watching me intently, as much as I'm watching her.
I walk up to about a few feet from her, and she looks a bit apprehensive, as if she can't decide whether to stay or fly away. I maintain eye contact, and keep staring at her. Skyline follows behind me, curious but keeping his thoughts to himself. After a few minutes of us just staring at each other, I stick my arm out to prompt the bird to come to me.
Her eyes widen a bit, but her expression clearly conveys intrigue. After a brief moment, she comes down from the tree and perches on my arm.
Using a finger to pet her, I'm surprised that I'm not getting burnt. Instead, she's just really warm.
"How'd you do that?" I hear Skyline ask from behind me.
"How'd I Do what?" I ask without looking away from the bird.
"How'd you command Philomena? She doesn't listen to anyone except Princess Celestia and Princess Luna." He elaborates.
I simply shrug. "Who knows. Maybe she's curious about me, maybe she's scared. I can't claim to know how animals think."
He continues to stare in disbelief and amusement.
"Philomena. Prized pet of Princess Celestia herself. And here you are, spying on little ol' me." I say to the firey bird.
She shakes her head at me.
"So you're not spying on me for Celestia?"
Another shake. "Then what are you doing, hmm?"
She spreads her wings in a silly way, making it look like she's shrugging, eliciting a small chuckle from me. I lower and lift my arm, promoting her to fly away. I let my arm fall to my side as I watch her leave.
"Well that was a strange encounter." I state.
"I'll say. She didn't attack you or get defensive or anything." Skyline says.
"She's a smart cookie. She knows that I could destroy her if I was that petty about her owner. Probably doesn't wanna push her luck." I muse.
"Null, don't."
"I'm not gonna, I'm just saying it might be why she behaved the way she did."
He lets out a sound of aknowledgement, and I walk towards the edge of the platform that holds up the castle, and look out across the countryside dotted with various towns and settlements.
I feel myself get yanked back, forcing me to take a few steps back, and I look down at the perpetrator. "What'd you do for?" I ask annoyed.
He keeps a grip on my shirt, somehow, and shakes his head. "I can't trust you near ledges anymore. Regardless of your eye, you can still mess up and die."
I roll my eyes. "You know, holding me like that wouldn't stop me anyways."
"No, but unless you want to be required to wear an eyepatch, I suggest you cooperate." He says with what I assume is supposed to be some sort of authoritative tone, but it just doesn't sound right with his voice.
"If you force an eyepatch on me I'll put you in a wing binder." I threaten. "My eye is to me as your wings are to you; A part of me, who are you to take that away?"
"Unlike you, my wings don't make me a danger to myself or others." He answers.
I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow at him. "Says the one trained by Luna herself."
"My point stands. I'm a potential danger because of my training, not my wings. Difference is, I use it to protect others. You just want to run around and do whatever." He explains.
I let out a sigh, not really feeling like arguing with him anymore. Deciding to change the subject, I look back out to the countryside. "What's it like training under princess Luna anyways?"
"What? Why?" He questions.
I shrug. "I'm just curious is all."
He lets out a sigh and a slight shudder. "She's brutal… but effective. You remember how she told you that the crescents embrace difference? Well, everyone's difference is part of their own individual training. She identifies our difference and challenges it. Does everything she can too suppress it. That's just the mental half of it. We almost never got a moment to rest. Wake up, morning routine, then physical training, which encompasses anything physical we learned, not just exercise, all day with only lunch as a break. One day a week we had a class that she assigns each of us one on one with her, where she'd teach us things that I can't really tell you about. Dinner comes around, which was strange in and of itself."
"Why was it strange to eat dinner?" I ask, genuinely interested in how Luna does things.
"Because Luna would join us from time to time and actually get to know us. She'd refuse to talk about training during it. Still don't know why she does it…"
He stares at the ground and shakes his head after a moment. "After dinner, it was back to bed. But it never ended there. She'd continue our training in our dreams. Creating scenarios for us to try to adapt to, sparring with the intent to kill, putting us through our fears, and fighting us herself. She never told us what each night would hold. So, as I said, we almost never got a moment to rest. And even then, our training never really ends. She'll drop in our dreams whenever she feels like it to keep us sharp." He finishes.
I stand there, taking in all the information. "Interesting. That's very interesting…"
He shrugs. "I guess. I don't see how it is, but no harm if you think it is."
Just then, I hear a familiar voice clearing her throat behind me. I turn to look behind me and see Luna standing there, looking much more well rested. Skyline let's go of me and bows to her, getting a nod in return. I glance back at the ledge, half tempted to jump off just to spite Skyline, but decide against it.
"What have you two gotten up to?" Luna asks.
Before I can get a word out, Skyline says the dumbest thing he could have said. "Null here tried to kill himself today."
Even worse was that he gave no context. Luna eyes widen in shock at the sheer bluntness and implications to what he just said.
I, on the other hand, just groan. "I did not!"
Before I can even try to explain, he says the second dumbest thing ever. "He jumped off the balcony, Princess."
Luna's eyes flick back and forth from Skyline to me.
I roll my eyes and turn to Skyline fully. "I told you I was testing something, and it worked. Look at me, I'm fine!" I even make a show of jumping around to make my point.
Before he can say anything, Luna stamps her hoof to get our attention.
"Skyline, you may leave a fully detailed report on my desk at your earliest convenience. Dismissed."
He nods and walks away back to the castle.
She then fixes me with a look. "You and I are going to have a talk about this."
I can only think two words. God damnit.