//------------------------------// // 2. Dumb Fish Bird Princess // Story: Cozy Glow's Tales of Revenge // by RainbowDoubleDash //------------------------------// So first on my list is Silverstream. Miss High and Mighty herself. Tallest student in the school, built like a fashion model, and she thinks that just because she’s all beautiful and also she’s actual royalty that it means okay if she acts like a feathery clone of Pinkie Pie! And she’s waaay too touchy-feely. “You did so good on your test! Hug! You got the same lunch as me! Hug! It’s a Tuesday! HUG!” Ugh, sooo annoying. And she made me try sushi! Made me eat fish! So she’s first on my list. Silverstream will be weeping and crying and making a huge scene all over the place once I’m Empress of Equestria. “Oh no! This is totally not good!” She’ll say. “How could this have happened to us? We were such good friend with one another and the Tree of Harmony gave us all kinds of power and we even had stairs on our side – ” Stairs? Yes, Tirek, stairs. She has this thing about stairs. There’s none in Seaquestria since they don’t have legs and it’s all underwater, and she’d been down there since she was young so she didn’t remember being a hippogriff and having legs. How do you know what she’s going to say if it hasn’t happened yet? It’s called poetic license, Chrysalis! Now do you want me to continue or – wait, don’t answer that, you have to listen! Anyway… “Mwahahahahahahaha!” I’ll laugh. I can see it now, I’ll be sitting on the throne of Equestria and Twilight and Starlight and Luna and Celestia will all be lying at my hooves, defeated! I’ll have my own guard, the Cozy Guard! Because that’s what they’re supposed to do, guard me. And I’ll have my guard bring her into the throne room first! “You fought long and hard,” I’ll say, “but now your resistance is at an end! I’ve captured each of your friends!” I’ll have done that, by the way. “And I’ve decided that you’ll be the first one to suffer!” “No, please not my friends!” Silverstream will cry. “Please, I’ll do anything!” “Mwahahahahahaha! As if I care for your begging! Guards, bring her up here!” And so she’ll be brought up the stairs. The throne will have been raised for just this occasion, made to be fifty – no, a hundred feet off the ground with big stairs leading up to it! It’ll be a last moment of happiness for her, which will make her fall all the sweeter. And I do mean a fall! I’ll push her so she falls down the stairs! One step after another after another, she’ll bounce and roll and tumble all the way down to the bottom and into the waiting tank where – She can fly. What? Silverback or whatever her name was. The hippogriff. She has wings, she can fly. Pushing her down stairs won’t do anything, you push her and she’ll just stabilize herself or take to the air. Grrrr! Okay then, so obviously her wings are going to be all bound up when I do this! The point is that she’ll roll all the way down the stairs into my waiting tank – What happens if she stops rolling halfway down? Are you going to go down and push her again? Look, the point is she’s going to end up in the tank, in the water that’s waiting for her! And then I’ll close down the top! I have a – hang on, where’d the – ha! I drew a picture! Here’s the tank, see? Looks like a giant fish bowl? And that’s all she’ll be from then on is my prisoner! Trapped in a glass prison in my throne room, never able to escape! The tank will be suspended in the ceiling and she’ll never be able to leave! So, what do you think? …honestly? As far as revenge schemes go, it needs work. WHAT?! When you get right down to it, it’s just grievous bodily harm and then being stuck in a fish bowl until you forget to feed her. There’s nothing really personalized about it. But the stairs! I think you made that up and just want an excuse to have a hundred-foot-tall throne. It’s not the throne that’s a hundred feet tall, it’s the dais that – okay, you know what? Fine! It needs work. But I’ve got five more to go!