4. Another Day At the Office
I had only been to Canterlot once since my arrival, and that was that disastrous get-together between the nobility and the newly-arrived humans, which caused lots of hurt feelings and eventually led to several of the human families expressing regret and contemplate leaving, with one packing and leaving that very night. The wounds ran deep, and I admit to feeling that, with the exception of the princesses and very few of the nobility, Canterlot was full of stuck-up snobs who were more full of crap than they were of themselves, if that was even possible.
Naturally, when I was asked if I would be willing to travel to Canterlot and perform basically the same services I did here in Ponyville, I was skeptical to say the very least. I saw it as a way for those stick-up-their-bum nobles to point and laugh about how the monkey can do simple tasks, oh ho ho ho...and not surprisingly, I wanted absolutely no part of it. Had the meaning not been lost, when Luna initially proposed the idea, I would have informed her I would rather have terminal jock itch. She persisted, and we agreed that I would spend a week there, do what was asked in terms of my handyman duties, and be paid for my service. I figured I would charge my standard rate, plus fifteen percent for travel expense. Hey, they didn’t have to know I was living in the castle the whole time, with free room and board, as a guest of my friend Luna.
I sat at dinner on the fourth night with Luna and Celestia, as I had every night since my arrival. They were quite accommodating with their hospitality, although I still felt like I was invited to the boss’s house for dinner and one little slip- up meant bye-bye Equestria. Of course, I handled myself in my usual style, namely, by keeping my head down and only speaking when spoken to.
Celestia picked up on this my first night there. After reassurances that no such thing would be forthcoming, and I was not an employee but a welcomed guest, I began to feel a little more at ease. I still kept my guard up, but not as much as I had previously.
“How did things go today?” Celestia asked while we waited for our dinners to arrive.
“Fairly well,” I responded. “I only had the one job scheduled today, because it looked on paper to be fairly complex. It only took half the time I allotted, but I guess that’s the benefit of having a newer house.”
“Whom didst thou see today?” Luna queried. Celestia quirked an eyebrow upon hearing Luna speak in Old Ponish. She had been aware of her sister’s activities, but had not heard her speak it in her presence. I think she may have been more amazed that I didn’t react to it at all, treating it as an everyday thing and not making a fuss over it.
“Mister … Fancy Pants, yes, that’s it. I don’t recall if he was one of the ones at the party, but he seemed quite nice. As did his companion, Miss Fleur.”
“Fancy is one of the nicer nobles,” Celestia stated. “He always considers the other pony first, regardless of status or stature. What happened after the work was done?”
“He and Fleur offered to take me to lunch, which I accepted. We had a great time talking about various things, and after lunch they showed me around town a bit more.”
Celestia grinned. “Sounds like your experiences have been quite positive so far.”
“We told thee, not all the nobles are bad ponies,” Luna reminded me.
“No, so far, the ones I’ve met have been fairly decent.” I smiled as the dinner trays were brought out. “And I will agree that not all of the nobility is evil incarnate, just a percentage.”
“Good,” Celestia proclaimed. “I’m glad we can find common ground.”
The rest of the week in Canterlot went surprisingly well. There was only one minor hiccup, when a stallion on the street, one of the hoity-toity types from the gathering, decided it would be a good idea to tell me at great length just how badly the princesses had botched in allowing us ‘sub-monkeys,’ to use his words, to live amongst the pure pony race in Equestria. Amazingly, when I told him that I would be sure to bring up our little chat with Celestia and Luna at dinner that night, and the next day they would be more than willing to personally speak to him so he could further expound on his position, he grew suddenly silent and trotted off rather quickly.
Needless to say, I told both Celestia and Luna about the whole incident at dinner, as I had promised. I don’t think he was too happy during his visit to the palace the next morning. Possibly less so by the promise of a visit from a certain alicorn while he slumbered the night before.
*~*~*~*~*
The room was as dark as I could possibly make it. I lay on my sofa, a cold cloth covering my eyes. Soft music played through the speakers on my computer. Thanks to my week in Canterlot, I was able to afford myself some downtime, being available to the ponies back in Ponyville on an emergency basis. Things were kind of slow around town, and the Apples really didn’t need a lot of help. This made me grateful that my headache didn’t spring up when I was in the middle of my busy time, nor on my trip. This is the type of headache that makes light cause physical pain, makes you nauseous, and generally incapacitates you until it decides to go away.
The knock on my door roused me from my rest and I slowly got up and trudged over to the door. Opening it, I saw a unicorn pony I thought I recognized from the welcome party here in town. She had a white coat, with a multi-hued blue mane and tail. Most noticeably, she wore large sunglasses that completely obscured her eyes.
Make that barely saw, as the sunlight reacted with my headache, and having been in the dark for most of the day, the brightness was overwhelming. I found myself longing for a pair of those glasses as the sun bathed everything in a painful aura that seemed to be brighter than it actually was. Still, I did what I could to be polite and see if I could help this pony with whatever brought them to my door in the first place.
“Hello, how can I help you?” I asked, shielding my eyes from the bright sun light and trying to sound like I wasn’t mere moments away from death.
“Hey, I know your sign says you’re closed except for emergencies. I, um...kinda have one, and I was hoping you could help me…?” she asked.
Squinting in the sunlight, I could see she had a turntable held in her magic. The daylight was threatening to make my head explode. “Yeah, head on over to the shop entrance and let me see what I can do for you,” I grunted, pointing to the smaller shed attached to the main house.
“Dude, you’re a lifesaver, thanks!” she said, sounding relieved. She trotted over to the workshop as I closed the door.
Stumbling over to the workshop and turning on some low lighting, I opened the door and waved her inside. “Just set that down on the workbench there. What seems to be the problem with it?” I asked.
She set it down gently. “The left channel’s going in and out. I know it’s not the cable, cuz I tested that with my other deck and it worked fine, and the cable from that deck is doing the same thing.”
I picked it up and found the screws holding it together. “You okay with me opening this up to take a look?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, dude, it’s cool. My regular repair pony is out of town, and I heard you’re pretty good with those hand things of yours.” She took a seat on a stool opposite me at the bench.
I picked up a small screwdriver. “Okay then, let’s see what we got here.”
Upon opening the turntable, I quickly saw that my suspicion was correct. “Yeah, here’s the problem.” Adjusting the magnifier so the pony could see, I pointed to the audio jack under the magnifier with a small screwdriver. “The solder joint broke free of the board. I can reheat that and put a fresh bead down to hold it in place.”
She sighed audibly. “Oh, thank Celestia, I was afraid I’d have to buy a whole new one. These things ain’t cheap, you know.”
I nodded. “Yeah, in either world.” I plugged my soldering iron in and let it heat. “So, I know you were at the welcome party, but I didn’t get to talk to you much...or get your name, for that matter.”
“Vinyl Scratch, known professionally in Equestria as DJ-PON3,” she replied, holding out a hoof. I hoofbumped her and smiled.
“Pleasure to meet you,” I said.
Vinyl cocked her ear. “Is that human music I hear?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, just some soft stuff to help me relax and get rid of this headache. I also have some speakers wired up here in the shop.”
Vinyl perked up a bit. “I’ve been curious about the type of music humans listen to. Would it be okay if I came over some time and went through some of it?”
“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. I’d offer today, but once I finish this I’m gonna go lay back down for a while.”
Vinyl grinned. “It’s okay, I got a gig later tonight anyway, and I need to get ready. Which is why I’m here.”
I checked the soldering iron and found it was ready. “All right, let’s get this patched up.”
Vinyl watched me work, amazed at the dexterity in my fingers and the delicate approach I took to fixing her precious equipment. I checked the solder joint on the other connector as well, and found it too was working loose. I opted to reinforce that while I had it here.
I put the cover back on and fastened the screws. “There, that should do it. I’d let this rest for a couple of hours before plugging anything into it, just to be sure the solder has set properly.”
“Dude, you’re awesome! What do I owe ya?” she inquired.
“Fifteen bits, half my hourly labor rate,” I answered.
She levitated the money over to me and picked up the turntable in her magic. “Hey, when you’re feeling better, you should come check out one of my shows. I’m resident in a club in town, I think you’ll like it.”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied. “And, if you wanna come over maybe tomorrow or the next day, if I’m not out on a call, I can go through my music library with you.”
She grinned. “It’s a go, dude. Catch ya later!” She turned and trotted out of the shop.
I latched the door behind her and turned out the lights in the shop. Even in the low light, the detailed work I had to do made my head pound more. I figured I’d refresh my cloth and take some more aspirin before laying back down.
*~*~*~*~*
One thing I had noticed since my arrival in Equestria is that the crime level is practically non-existent. I honestly can’t recall any instances of petty crimes occurring since my arrival. In fact, I was even more surprised that most ponies leave their doors unlocked even when they go out to run errands around town. Being the paranoid type that I am, and because I don’t like others snooping through my stuff, I tend to lock up the house when I go out on a service call, and the shop I keep locked unless I’m physically in there, mostly to protect my tools. I’ve relaxed a bit and have taken to leaving my door unlocked when I’m home. I’ve learned through talking with the ponies that it takes a long time and a great deal of trust on both parts to simply wander into someone’s home without knocking.
After Vinyl’s departure, I refreshed my cool, damp cloth and took a couple more aspirins before laying down on the sofa again. The aspirin had done their trick, and I was snoozing lightly on the couch, cold compress over my eyes. In my dreams I was walking through the unspoiled landscape, the sun shining overhead, and a gentle, intermittent breeze blowing. I stopped, and let the breeze blow against my face. I noticed that, in addition to being warm, it had the scent of apple-flavored oatmeal. It also stopped and started at regular intervals, almost as if the sky was … breathing.
… Wait a minute.
Returning to consciousness, I slowly removed the cloth from my eyes, and upon opening them I was looking directly at a yellow pony with a pinkish bow in her mane. She was staring at me intently, breathing slowly across my face.
“Hey, Apple Bloom, what’s up?” I asked in the most nonchalant way I could.
“Applejack wants ta know if y’all can come by the farm and help work on the plow,” she stated.
“Sure, that won’t be a problem. You need me there now, or…?”
“Nah, she said tomorrow mornin’s fine, as long as it’s early. Big Mac’s got a lot of plowin’ ta do ‘n they need ta git it done quick.”
I nodded. “Okay, I’ll be there bright and early in the morning.” I slowly sat up. “Um...just how long were you sitting there?” I asked.
“Oh, ‘bout five minutes or so. Ah was jus’ gettin’ ready to poke ya and wake ya up.”
I pondered this bit of information. “I see. Okay, was there anything else you needed today?”
Apple Bloom smiled. “Jus’ mah messenger fee.”
I smiled and got off the sofa. We walked to the kitchen and I brought down a plastic container, inside of which were little rolls of pie dough filled with brown sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. I removed two and set them on a napkin. “There ya go. You gonna eat them here or take them with you?”
It was a silly question to ask, as no sooner had I set the pastries down then they were gobbled up. Flashing a big smile, she said, “Thanks! See ya tomorrow mornin’!” and let herself out, closing the door behind her.
I chuckled. Just another normal day in Ponyville, I thought to myself.
*~*~*~*~*
The sun had barely poked over the hills surrounding the farm when Applejack and I set to work fixing the plow. There were several stress fractures showing on the wooden supports, and Applejack had special metal cleats made to secure the weaker points. Applejack had called for me to assist because I could generate better torque on the bolts than she could, surprisingly enough. That, and I still had my torque wrench from when I lived in the human world. I’m pretty sure that was the real reason.
“Looks like ya survived yer Canterlot trip,” Applejack remarked as we worked. “Ya didn’t have any trouble up there, didya?”
“Nah,” I replied, securing a metal cleat over the cracked wood. “Just some inappropriate comments that were quickly dealt with once I reported them to the princesses.” I finished tightening the bolts and checked the tightness of the cleat. “There, that should hold for now. I think eventually you’re gonna need a whole new rig for this thing. There’s only so much we can cobble together to keep it intact.”
Applejack nodded. “Yeah, Ah know. Ah was jus’ tryin’ to hold off for the rest of the season. Ah reckon Ah better tell Mac not ta pull so dang hard – he’s always tryin’ to git it done as quick as he can.”
“Can’t say I blame him, it seems like very tedious work.”
“Yeah, but he’s killin’ the plow.” She looked it over carefully. “All right, Ah think that’s the last of the patches we need. You wanna settle up now?”
I shook my head. “End of the week’s good, I know you’re good for it.”
“Well, least we c’n do is feed ya since you’re out so early. Granny’s makin’ apple pancakes for breakfast, and you’re welcome to join us as always.”
Apple pancakes held a special place in my heart. I still remember breakfasts at Grandma’s house, with her placing thinly-sliced apple into the pancake batter on the griddle. Granny Smith’s recipe was almost as good as Grandma’s – okay, it was exactly as good, truth be told maybe a little better, but they can never replace the memories of my youth.
I smiled. “Lead the way, then.” The two of us walked up to the farmhouse.