“Hello? Moonwhisper?” Princess Cadance called out as she wandered through the halls of Twilight’s castle. It had been mutually agreed by Twilight and Shining Armor that spouses / special someponies were to be excluded from the Sibling Supreme contest. Cadance, however, wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity for a brief vacation from her duties as ruler of the Crystal Empire, and so she had elected to stay in Ponyville until the competition had been decided. Unfortunately, with Twilight and her friends in Canterlot, Cadance found herself with something of a dearth of ponies to converse with (Flurry Heart still not being must of conversationalist). “I was thinking of making Flurry Heart some lunch. Do you know if Twilight has any – Moonwhisper?” The sound of a muffled scream of anguish echoed out from the castle’s map room, prompting Cadance to rush through the halls towards the source of the commotion.
Upon opening the doors to the map room, Cadance found Moonwhisper seated at the central table, face buried in a pillow and surrounded by Twilight’s notes on Canterlot’s new defenses. Giggling, Flurry Heart proceeded to leap off her mother’s back and fly over to give Moonwhisper a hug. “Hello, your highness,” came muffled response as Cadance trotted over to collect her daughter.
“Hello to you too,” Cadance said as she trotted over. “I’m guessing you’re trying to figure out who’s going to win this silly contest?”
“No, I figured that out fairly easily,” Moonwhisper said as he picked himself up. “Unfortunately, from my perspective at least, Shining Armor is almost certainly going to come out victorious.”
“That’s a little overly pessimistic, don’t you think? I know Shining Armor’s put a huge amount of effort into Canterlot’s defenses, but Twilight’s no pushover when it comes to thinking through a problem,” Cadance chided.
“Oh, Twilight’s definitely the smarter of the two by a wide margin,” Moonwhisper said, prompting Cadance to mutter that the margin wasn’t quite that vast. “Unfortunately for Twilight, the deciding factor in this contest is going to be strategy rather than raw intellect.”
“So, you’re saying Shining Armor’s going to out-strategize Twilight?” Cadance asked, trying not to sound too surprised.
“Not exactly,” Moonwhisper snorted. “If I expected that Shining Armor was going to legitimately out-think Twilight, that would be one thing. Instead, Shining Armor is going to defeat Twilight with a maneuver that, while could be argued is technically withing the agreed upon rules, defeats the practical point of this exercise.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?” Cadance replied. “I mean, you can’t really know how everything is going to play out. If nothing else, if there’s anything I’ve learned about Twilight and her friends it’s that they’re full of surprises.”
Moonwhisper thought for a moment before shrugging in response. “That’s a fair point, especially given that one of those friends is Pinkie Pie. My assessment, is largely based on the assumption that Twilight will fall back on her original strategy in the event the alternative plans her friends have concocted fall through.”
“You mean the plan that Shining Armor already saw through?” Cadance asked wryly. “Somehow I’m not convinced that Twilight would do something like that.”
“If Twilight has one weakness as a tactician it’s that she has difficulties thinking on her hooves. Give Twilight the opportunity to calm down and time to think things through and she’s one of the most brilliant ponies alive. On the other hoof, force her to improvise and adapt on the fly and inevitably she gets flustered and starts second guessing herself.” Moonwhisper said as Cadance was forced to nod her head in agreement. “My current operating theory is that the purpose of Shining’s letter was to guess enough of Twilight’s plans to knock her off-balance.”
“Frankly, I’m still surprised Shining Armor was really able to predict Twilight’s entire plan like that. I had figured he’d have managed to get a few things right, but he really guessed every part of what she was going to do?”
Moonwhisper nodded his head. “He did, but it wasn’t quite as impressive a feat as you make it sound. For one thing, Shining Armor knows Twilight better than just about any other pony alive, and he also had nearly complete control over the information that Twilight had about Canterlot’s security. With that level of knowledge regarding both Twilight herself and what she knew about the situation, it wouldn’t be all that difficult to predict how she would have approached the challenge. Frankly, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if you told me he had that letter written out before he even proposed this contest,” Moonwhisper said.
Before Cadance could reply she found herself forced to divert her attention towards Flurry Heart, who had taken a distressing interest in some of the papers strewn about the table. Seeing this, Moonwhisper calmly got up and rummaged through the piles of stationary Twilight had left until he emerged with a number of pieces of black paper and a box of crayons, which he presented to Flurry Heart. “Thank you for that. Anyway, I guess I can see your point about guessing Twilight’s plan. But, what did you mean earlier when you said that the way that Shining Armor was going to win defeats the point of the contest?”
“The alleged point of this exercise is to gauge the effectiveness of Shining Armor’s new security measures. From that standpoint, were Shining Armor to counter Twilight’s plan by adjusting or strengthening said measures by, for example, drilling into his guards to not drop what they’re doing at the sight of one of Pinkie Pie’s parties!” Moonwhisper paused and mashed his face back into the pillow before letting out another muffled scream of frustration. “Basic discipline, that’s all I ask…where was I? Anyway, if Shining Armor bested Twilight by having better or more effective defenses then I wouldn’t complain. I’d still have to console Twilight over the loss, but at least in that case it would also mean Equestria was a little safer. Instead, my prediction is that the moment Shining Armor sees Pinkie Pie’s distraction party, he’s going to run off to the throne room, hide behind the thrones, wait for Twilight and her friends to dismantle his defenses, and then leap out and yell ‘boo’ at the last second.”
“I don’t think he’s actually going to say boo,” Cadance replied while making a conscious effort to avoid Moonwhisper’s gaze. “Is that why you were yelling into your pillow earlier?”
“Hmm? Oh, from right before you walked in. No, not exactly, though it is related to Shining Armor. You see, it seems that in order to sustain Shining Armor’s decision to increase the guards stationed in Canterlot, the Canterlot garrison was forced to lower its standards for recruits. By which I mean they’ve abandoned any semblance of having standards altogether,” Moonwhisper added with a snort of irritation.
“Oh, it can’t possibly be that bad,” Cadance replied.
“They accepted Zephyr Breeze as a recruit,” Moonwhisper shot back. “Zephyr. Breeze. It doesn’t even look like they put him through any sort of basic training, just slapped some armor on him and sent out on patrol or something.”
“Umm, should I know who this ‘Zephyr Breeze’ is?” Cadance asked.
Moonwhisper let out a sigh. “Honestly, probably not. Zephyr Breeze is Miss Fluttershy’s younger brother and he has a deserved reputation as a lazy, shiftless idiot. I only met him once, during a brief period when he had moved in with Miss Fluttershy and she was trying to find some way of forcing him to become a functioning member of society, and needless to say he didn’t make an especially good impression. Frankly, I can’t for the life of me comprehend how he managed to get through the recruitment process without being tossed out on his rump, let alone how he managed to avoid basic training.” Moonwhisper slumped back in his seat. “I’m honestly starting to dread the notion that the Canterlot Guard might be my responsibility at some point in the near future. Maybe I can convince Twilight to move the seat of government from Canterlot to Ponyville,” Moonwhisper muttered to himself.
“So, you’re definitely planning to go with Twilight when she takes over for aunt Celestia and Luna?” Cadance asked.
“My place is by Twilight’s side,” Moonwhisper replied firmly. “If Twilight moves back to Canterlot then I will be going with her.”
“That’s good to hear. So…how have things been going between the two of you, anyway?” Cadance paused to clear her throat. “What I mean is, you and Twilight have been involved with each other for a while now, so I was wondering how far the two of you have taken your relationship?”
Moonwhisper promptly collapsed into a fit of coughing and sputtering at Cadance’s question. “Pardon me, your highness, but I’m almost positive I just misheard you. What exactly did you just ask me?”
“I was just wondering if you and Twilight had, how should I put this, gotten in any practice making Flurry Heart a little cousin?” Cadance replied sweetly. “I mean, you’re both healthy adult ponies, so it’s only natural for things to have progressed to a certain point. Besides, physical intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship.”
“If you’ll excuse me, your highness,” Moonwhisper said as he suddenly shot upright. “I just realized that I’m running late for a very important…thing. Someplace else.” Not waiting for Cadance to respond, Moonwhisper quickly bolted out of the room and galloped away.
Cadance smiled to herself as she listened to Moonwhisper’s retreat, his reaction being all the answer she needed. “Good for Twilight, I thought she seemed a bit more relaxed recently.” Cadance paused to nuzzle Flurry Heart, who was putting the finishing touches on a drawing of her and her parents. “Although, we should probably keep this from your father. He has enough on his plate without knowing what Aunty Twilight and Uncle Moonwhisper have been getting up to.”